Too much air conditioning makes you sick; too much bullshit gets you killed

"Knock, knock. Knock, knock."

Knocking sounded outside the door, and Ye Xunzhi, who had fallen asleep on the beanbag because it was so comfortable, opened her eyes at once.

She looked toward the door, and a man's voice came from outside:

"Anyone home? I have a delivery for Mr. Ye Lan. Please sign for it."

Ye Xunzhi said, "Just leave it outside."

The deliveryman said, "But this delivery has to be signed for in person. Please come sign your name."

"Then slip it through the gap under the door. Once I've signed, I'll tear off the delivery slip and give it back."

Only document deliveries required a signature, after all, and those generally shared one characteristic: they were thin and light, more than easy enough to slip under the door.

There was a moment of silence outside. "Sorry, but please open the door to sign for it. That wouldn't be very convenient."

Ye Xunzhi slowly narrowed her eyes.

Why does this guy have so much bullshit to spout?

She certainly didn't want to wake her second brother. His mental state was already hanging by a thread. If he couldn't even get enough sleep, what if he went so crazy that he ran out into the street to take a shit?

"It's not very convenient for me either. How about coming back in an hour or two?"

The deliveryman's voice finally lost its calm, sounding on the verge of tears:

"Please stop joking and hurry up. Once I finish this delivery, I have to go to the office to collect my money. My family needs money urgently for an operation. I'm so anxious I don't even want to live anymore."

The two went back and forth as though practicing tai chi, until Ye Xunzhi finally relented first.

"Oh, I see. I'll be right there."

Ye Xunzhi sprang up from the beanbag, pulled a long, slender stun baton from her schoolbag, and charged over.

Then, without the slightest hesitation, she switched it on and thrust it hard through the gap under the door.

"Bzzzt-"

"Blublublublublu..." Following a string of garbled noises, the person outside collapsed with a heavy thud.

The production team: Aaaaaah!!!

The livestream chat: [Holy shit!!!]

Ye Xunzhi smoothly withdrew her baton and said with flair, "Too much air conditioning makes you sick; too much bullshit gets you killed. If you don't want to live, I'll send you on your way."

Outside: "..."

Mommy, walk in the dark often enough and you really will run into a ghost!

Completely dazed, the deliveryman lay on the floor and shakily raised a finger:

"Are you the devil? You didn't even look at me before jabbing me."

No sooner had he spoken than he felt something cool between his eyebrows. A stun baton slid beneath the door and pressed against his forehead.

"Blublublublublu."

An encore.

Only when it went quiet outside again did Ye Xunzhi neatly finish him off. "Loving you takes words, but stabbing you needs no explanation."

The production team: Aaaaaah, save him!!

The livestream chat: [Aaaaaah, I've lived long enough to see the King of Hell in the flesh!!!]

Hearing the chaotic commotion outside, Ye Xunzhi remained utterly calm. They were probably working as a gang.

Ha. Trying to fool her by pretending to be a deliveryman.

In her previous lives, after Ye Lan had been framed and his reputation ruined, Ye Xunzhi had received countless threats on his behalf. Those haters had already used the deliveryman trick to death.

Besides, Ye Lan had a habit of never putting down his real address. No matter how urgent it was, he always put down his agent's.

Which meant-

His agent received important documents, his agent received gifts from fans, his agent received insults and abuse, his agent received threats and intimidation, and his agent received visits from obsessive fans sneaking in...

Ye Lan's agent could be called the chief poison taster among eunuchs!

Thus, whoever was outside definitely wasn't anyone good. Next, it was time to hand the police an easy arrest.

Ye Lan was a heavy sleeper, not actually dead. The commotion outside still caught his attention.

He walked over looking thoroughly disheveled, his eyes unfocused. "What happened?"

"Oh, this." Holding the stun baton, Ye Xunzhi spun around to explain.

Then Ye Lan felt a cool touch against his chest. A long rod had poked him squarely in the body, its small, round metal ball resting against his chest.

And then-

"Blublublublublu..."

"Brother!"

Ye Lan was caught just before he hit the floor. His entire body tingled, and it took him several seconds to recover.

"Trying to murder your own brother? Stabbing me once wasn't enough, so you just had to kill me this way?"

"Of course not. I'd just finished jabbing someone and hadn't had time to switch it off." Ye Xunzhi smiled bashfully.

Second Brother, I just helped you deal with someone with bad intentions!

Someone with bad intentions?

Ye Lan froze for a second, then opened the door as though sensing something. He had only just stepped out when he heard a shout.

"Spare the corpse beneath your foot!"

Ye Lan instinctively pulled his foot back. Only then did he notice the "corpse" lying outside. "Holy shit! Who died on my doorstep? That's so unlucky!"

The production team: Truly brother and sister.

The livestream chat-

[Is that really the point right now? Shouldn't the point be that the best actor is missing something on his hand? That's right, our wedding ring.]

[Why is Best Actor Ye so handsome just after waking up!!!! (Roars) (Turns into a monkey) (Swings on vines) (Sends a passing banana-eating monkey flying) (Picks a durian) (Smashes the monkey king to death) (Rules the monkeys) (Rules the world)]

[Seriously, is nobody going to speak up for the deliveryman on the floor? Though he's fine and has already walked away on his own.]

That was right. Jabbing people was one thing, but working a prison sewing machine was not yet on Ye Xunzhi's life agenda.

[Anyway, who was that girl speaking just now? My idol isn't secretly keeping a beauty at home, is he?!]

[Impossible. Absolutely impossible. Anyway, isn't this a family variety show? Best Actor Ye posted last night that he was bringing his younger sister.]

[Deliveryman: You two siblings! Fine, the sister zapped me, but now the brother wants to dance on my corpse!]

After a flurry of frantic explanations, Ye Lan finally understood the situation. He looked at Director Mi with interest.

"Then we've passed this mission, right?"

Director Mi wiped away his sweat. "You passed, you passed."

Someone had nearly been taken out. Forget protecting their own safety-even the bad guys were in danger.

Director Mi gave Ye Lan a meaningful look.

"Now that we've set the mood, Best Actor Ye, please introduce the guest you're bringing onto the show."

Ye Lan nodded and gave a brief introduction. "This time, I've brought my younger sister, Ye Xunzhi."

[Ye Xunzhi is such a pretty name. Best Actor Ye's little sister definitely can't be ugly. Let me have a looook!]

[Haven't there always been rumors that Ye Lan comes from a wealthy, distinguished family? Then his sister must be a rich young heiress.]

[Please, can't you let my darling shine alone? Did he have to bring along dead weight?]

Many of the viewers were Ye Lan's fans. Some extended their affection to his sister and already viewed her through rose-tinted glasses, while others refused to accept reality.

But without exception, they were all curious about how this young heiress would appear before them.

Finally, the door opened all the way.

Ye Xunzhi was already neatly dressed in her formal outfit. Ye Lan had only glanced at her earlier, but now he took a closer look.

How was his little sister still wearing yesterday's outfit after sleeping? Had she never taken it off at all?

As for Ye Xunzhi herself, she had single-handedly managed to isolate everyone else, calmly sitting at the dining table drinking water.

One arm rested against the chair, her left leg crossed over her right. Her eyes struggled open, then slid shut again, while the tuft of hair sticking up from sleep swayed leisurely with her drowsy movements.

It looked as though she might demonstrate collapsing and not getting up at any moment.

The livestream chat-

[Is this state for real? Why is she literally me when I have to get up early?!]

[Little sister, you really don't care about maintaining an idol image. The people next door rushed into their rooms to put on makeup as soon as they spotted the production team.]

[The moment she jabbed someone, I knew the gears of this show's fate had begun to turn.]

[This girl must be fourteen already, right? Don't her parents discipline her? Guests have arrived, and she doesn't even know to serve tea, bring water, or greet them. She just sits there watching.]