Satoru Gojo had been feeling furious lately, so incredibly pissed off that he had even become a little vicious when dealing with cursed spirits.
After all, those old Old Orange-Peels among the Jujutsu Higher-Ups had sent him here to work, while that ungrateful student of his had not only gone on a vacation on the school's dime, but even fucking sent him photos to rub it in.
Was that something a fucking human being would do?
So over the past month, Satoru Gojo had not only grown increasingly irritable, but kept rushing through his workload, forcing himself back onto the sleep schedule he had kept during his days of looking like a sentient shuttlecock.
All so he could get back sooner and put that ungrateful student, who sent vacation photos every day under the pretext of checking in just to piss him off, through some brutal training. Satoru Gojo had even planned out exactly what positions he would beat Sherlock in.
But what Satoru Gojo had not expected was that plans could never keep up with changes.
That day, he had only just gotten up when his phone's ringing jolted him awake. After glancing at the caller, Satoru Gojo hung up in utter disdain, without the slightest desire to answer.
After all, nine out of ten calls from Sherlock were just him being an obnoxious little shit!
But this time was different. After Satoru Gojo hung up on Sherlock, Sherlock called again.
Although master and student had spent this time tormenting each other affectionately over the internet, Satoru Gojo still worried that something might have happened to Sherlock, so he answered this time.
The call had barely connected before Sherlock's wailing came through. He cried so pitifully that anyone who heard him would have wept; someone who did not know better might have thought he was mourning someone.
His reaction stunned Satoru Gojo for a moment before he hurriedly asked Sherlock what had happened.
Sherlock hid nothing from Satoru Gojo, either. He told him exactly how he had met Suguru Geto and how Suguru Geto had beaten him up, even recounting every detail of how he had courted disaster.
Honestly, after listening to Sherlock's vivid account, every word brimming with grievance, Satoru Gojo's back no longer hurt, his legs felt nimble again, his mood brightened, and everything suddenly made sense.
For a moment, he even marveled inwardly that Suguru Geto truly deserved to be his best friend. He had not gotten around to beating Sherlock up yet, and Suguru Geto had already done it for him?
Satoru Gojo practically went through every heartbreaking event of his life before he barely managed not to laugh over the phone. Just as he was about to comfort Sherlock, his devious mind stirred, and a wicked idea immediately took shape.
"Xia-chan, first of all, don't worry about those Old Orange-Peels finding out you had contact with Geto in Okinawa. The fact that Geto had his adopted daughters with him proves he definitely got to Okinawa through some secret means. I can guarantee that.
"Second, Xia-chan, for certain reasons, your teacher really can't come back right away, and even after I get back, it won't be very convenient for me to contact Geto. Of course, that doesn't mean I'm not angry about what happened to you.
"Quite the opposite, Xia-chan. Your teacher is about to explode with rage!"
Satoru Gojo sounded perfectly serious over the phone, his voice even a little low, but whenever his gaze happened to sweep across the full-length mirror in his room and he saw his expression, almost contorted from holding in his laughter, he nearly lost it.
He clamped one hand firmly over his mouth, which had almost let out a laugh. Only after holding it in for quite a while did he barely get his emotions under control and continue hoodwinking Sherlock over the phone.
"Don't worry so much, Xia-chan. Although your teacher can't get back right away to avenge you, I can tell you all of Geto's weaknesses. Trust your teacher. Geto definitely isn't as scary as you think.
"Mm, right. Sure, Geto is Special Grade, but that guy doesn't know any Reverse Cursed Technique. You're different, though. You have Shoko backing you up, which is basically the same as having Reverse Cursed Technique yourself!
"Exactly! What's there to be scared of? You've got Reverse Cursed Technique, so what else is there to say? Don't forget, Geto went to Okinawa in secret, and his adopted daughters are with him. That means he definitely won't dare use his Cursed Technique on a large scale. If he attracts those Old Orange-Peels' attention, he'll be in deep shit.
"Geto would never gamble with the safety of the people around him. I can guarantee that! Right! That's exactly it. All he can use is hand-to-hand combat. You're different. You can use your Cursed Technique, so what are you scared of?
"Right! Good! That's the spirit! Exactly! As the strongest's student, hitting back is how a strong person thinks!
"Mm, listen to your teacher. Use your Cursed Technique to go back to Jujutsu High and have Shoko treat you first, then return to your room in Okinawa. I'll tell you Geto's weaknesses right now. Give him a good beating for me!
"..."
After half an hour of hoodwinking, Satoru Gojo had successfully led Sherlock completely astray.
The instant he hung up, Satoru Gojo clutched his stomach and rolled around on the bed laughing. How did that saying go again? People never got tired when they were up to no good.
Satoru Gojo knew Suguru Geto all too well. He knew that Suguru Geto had not killed Sherlock, only beaten him up because the brat had been an obnoxious little shit and dug up some of his embarrassing history along the way. That meant Geto would not actually go after Sherlock with intent to kill.
Besides, the fact that Geto had come to Okinawa alone with his two adopted daughters showed that he also understood what those Old Orange-Peels among the Higher-Ups were thinking and would not blow this up.
Then what else was there to say? The two of them had argued, but it was not as though they had stopped being friends. Satoru Gojo never tired of making trouble for his best friend.
After laughing for quite a while, Satoru Gojo even sent Shoko a text explaining things, hoping she would play along.
Shoko had been classmates with those two scumbags, Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto. Did anyone really think she could be a good person? After reading Satoru Gojo's text, she agreed to his plan with practically no hesitation and even took a photo of Sherlock for him.
The instant he saw Sherlock's photo, Satoru Gojo laughed even harder. All the resentment that little bastard Sherlock had built up in him over the past month vanished without a trace.
In the photo, Sherlock was swollen all over, sporting two black eyes, and his face had puffed up like a pig's head.
The funniest part was Sherlock's hairstyle. God knew how Suguru Geto had managed it, but he had actually hammered Sherlock's head into the same hairstyle as the Buddha. Combined with his face and body, swollen enough that even his own mother might not recognize him, Suguru Geto had beaten Sherlock into looking like a Maitreya Buddha with hair.
Satoru Gojo laughed in his room for a full five minutes before getting up in a rather good mood, tidying himself up, and preparing to get back to work.
But for some reason, every time he thought about Geto being pestered into a headache by that little bastard Sherlock using the tricks he had suggested, Satoru Gojo could not help wanting to laugh.
Mm, sure enough, best friends really were no fun if you did not use them to be an obnoxious little shit.
What? Wasn't he worried Suguru Geto would fly into a humiliated rage and kill Sherlock?
First of all, that was impossible. If he had been going to do it, he would have done it already. Would he have waited until Sherlock could call him and complain?
Second, based on Satoru Gojo's understanding of Suguru Geto, even if the guy wanted revenge, he would do exactly what Gojo had done: find a "Pokémon" to get back at him in the same way.
But unfortunately, right now, his-Satoru Gojo's-"Pokémon" was bigger! So even if Suguru Geto wanted revenge, he could not pull it off!
The more Gojo Kitty thought about it, the better he felt. He really was having the time of his life!