Let Me Spray Him with My Virgin Piss!

"I swear on my life, I came out specially to look around at night. Nobody's gonna come here..." Feng Baobao dug faster.

"We'll sneak him some food later. Guaranteed he won't die~."

At that, Feng Baobao even flashed a peace sign. "They always call me a dummy, but I'm not dumb at all. I'm actually smart as hell!"

Zhang Chulan wanted to cry but had no tears. "Lady, where the hell do you see anything smart about yourself?!"

"Believe it or not, I'll bash that smart head of yours in!"

"And where did you swipe that shovel from?!"

"If this guy reports us afterward, we can look forward to spending the rest of our lives behind bars."

Feng Baobao was completely unconcerned. "It's fine. As long as we don't admit it, there's nothing they can do."

"We'll dig him out and wash him squeaky clean. There won't be any evidence!"

While the two were loudly plotting, a voice came from the woods:

"A dark and windy night-I thought a man and woman alone together would put on a show. I've already taken my pants off, and this is what you give me?"

At that familiar voice, Zhang Chulan's scalp prickled. He hurriedly looked over and saw that Wang Zhuo had arrived at some point, wearing nothing but a T-shirt, Tiga underwear, and an eye mask.

Zhang Chulan's eyes bulged. "So you really did take your pants off before coming here! I thought that was a figure of speech!!!"

"Weren't you still wearing pants before bed? And dude, running through the woods in the middle of the night-doesn't your little brother get scratched up?!"

"Whoa, Tiga!" Feng Baobao stared at his underwear with her big eyes.

The cartoon Tiga printed on them was posed to fire a beam. The Ultra Beam and Tiga's eyes were glow-in-the-dark, shining in the night.

"They even light up. I want some too."

Wang Zhuo gave her a thumbs-up. "Good taste!"

Zhang Chulan nearly spat blood in anger. "Is this really the time to want underwear? We've been exposed! This bastard's even fucking recording us on his phone!!!"

Seeing someone arrive, Shan Shitong's despairing eyes flared with hope, and he frantically wriggled toward the underwear not far away.

"It's fine. Burying two is no different from burying one." Feng Baobao hefted her shovel and prepared to act.

"Hey, hey, hey! Don't!" Zhang Chulan swiftly darted between Feng Baobao and Wang Zhuo.

"What're you doing, Zhang Chulan? If we bury him too, nobody'll know, right?"

"It's not pig-brained enemies you should fear, but godlike teammates." Zhang Chulan wanted to cry but had no tears.

Feng Baobao tilted her head. "Is that how the saying goes?"

"My dear Sister Bao'er, my own dear sister, did you seriously not see how he beat up that Angry Bird earlier?!"

"Three punches in one second! He nearly beat the guy into an Angry Pig!"

"It's fine. I'm strong as hell." Feng Baobao patted Zhang Chulan's shoulder.

"Mmph, mmph, mmph, mmph!!!!" At this, hope swelled even stronger in Shan Shitong's heart.

An enemy was good!

A fight was good!

An enemy's enemy was practically a brother!

Save me, godfather!!!

Wang Zhuo laughed in amusement and tucked his phone back into his underwear. "I'm with Nadutong too. We're all wearing the same pants here."

"Oh, right!" Feng Baobao clapped her hands.

"Then come give me a hand."

Wang Zhuo came over. "Okay. Should I find a couple of hoses to stick in him? Otherwise, he might suffocate after spending days underground."

"Oh, right. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Actually, just gluing them on would be even easier."

Shan Shitong: ??????????

Are you people even human?!

One moment they looked ready to fight to the death, and one sentence from the other guy had completely sidetracked them.

Feng Baobao, are you human?!

Liu Guanyi, are you a carbon-based life-form?!

Believe it or not, I'll die right here in front of you!

Seeing that things were fine now, Zhang Chulan hurried over to untie Shan Shitong. "Heh, heh, heh, Brother Shan, don't take it personally. Don't stoop to arguing with an idiot."

"Wouldn't that make you an even bigger dumbass than the dumbass?"

"..." Shan Shitong, still not fully untied, kept his mouth shut. The instant all his restraints were off, he erupted.

"You son of a bitch, Zhang Chulan, get the hell out of my way! I'm fighting this crazy bitch today!"

"She knocked me out while I was using the toilet! What the hell is wrong with every one of you?!"

"Just look at the three of you, a bunch of freaks-one dimwit, one scumbag, and one pervert!"

"You three make one fucking scummy trio! No, wait!"

"An extremely scummy trio!"

Shan Shitong continued pointing at Wang Zhuo and cursing. "And you, motherfucker, running around in your underwear in the middle of the night-are you cosplaying Tarzan for me?!"

"And here I thought you were a good guy. Turns out you're just a good-for-nothing!"

Shan Shitong took a fighting stance and pulled out talismans. "Come on, crazy bitch, underwear guy! I'm giving you two a proper beating today!"

"If you've got the guts, fight me fair and square! I'll show you the power of my ancestral Green Talisman Deity!"

Feng Baobao and Wang Zhuo exchanged a look. "..."

Zhang Chulan hurried forward. "Brother, my dear brother! Whatever you do, don't fight!"

"Fuck off, Zhang Chulan, or I'll beat you up too!"

Before Shan Shitong could continue, Wang Zhuo and Feng Baobao had already darted in front of him.

?!!!

Wang Zhuo opened with an Iron Mountain Lean, and Feng Baobao followed right behind with a home run.

"Pwah!" Shan Shitong, who had been about to attack, felt his pupils quake. Countless electric currents seemed to stimulate every inch of his muscles, briefly paralyzing his body.

What was going on?

He couldn't move!

It was that Liu Guanyi. This was his doing!

Before Shan Shitong could recover, however, the two had already started punching and kicking him.

Zhang Chulan helplessly pressed a hand to his forehead, his face speechless. "I told you to wait. These two really will beat you up."

Wang Zhuo viciously kicked Shan Shitong's little brother, then held down his Tiga underwear. "Baobao, move aside. Let my virgin piss, at thirty-eight point six degrees, drive the evil out of him."

"Okay!" Feng Baobao immediately stepped back a few paces.

"Virgin piss?!" Zhang Chulan startled, then hurried forward. "Hey, hey, hey, Brother Liu, my good brother, put away your divine powers!"

"It's not worth it! Trash like this really isn't worth you making a move!"

On the ground, his face battered and swollen, Shan Shitong nearly leaked a couple of drops himself from fright when he heard "virgin piss."

Too fucking perverted!

He had already silently sworn that as long as he could leave Mount Longhu alive... and clean, he would never come back, not even if someone beat him to death.

"Fine." Wang Zhuo stopped pulling down his underwear and raised his hands.

Seeing him give up, Shan Shitong let out a long breath, much of the despair and terror in his heart dissipating.

Zhang Chulan crouched and looked at the pig-faced man before him. "Heh, heh, heh, brother, I told you to calm down, but you just had to make them calm you down physically."

"Sometimes death isn't scary. What's scary is a fate worse than death, especially when it comes to things like your reputation."

"Now, I have a suggestion. How about hearing me out?"