"Ahem, ahem." Zhang Chulan cleared his throat to ease his embarrassment.
"XingTong, how did you gather so much intel? You seem to know pretty much all the otherhumans here, right?"
Feng XingTong scratched the back of his head. "Hehe, when it comes to abilities, I might not measure up to everyone here, but when it comes to intel, I can brag a little. I'm a dab hand!"
"Oh, give it a rest." A voice squeezed through fat-compressed vocal cords rang out.
All four turned to look and saw a fat man standing there in a pink checked shirt, a huge chicken drumstick in his hand.
"Holy shit, that's at least adventure rank sixty in Genshin Impact!" Wang Zhuo couldn't help quipping.
"Genshin what?" Feng XingTong looked baffled. "Is that something really awesome?"
"Genshin Impact is awesome. You've already grasped the true essence of the Great Dao." Hands in his pockets, Wang Zhuo teased him with a smile.
Zhang Chulan stared at him, wide-eyed. "Wait, aren't you fucking blind? How did you see this fat pig... this guy here?!"
Wang Zhuo merely reached out and placed a hand on his chest. "Sometimes, you shouldn't look with your eyes. You should look with your mind's eye."
"I might as well use my asshole!" Zhang Chulan flipped him off.
The fat on Hidden Dragon's face quivered. "What are you two yapping about? Who the hell plots out loud right in front of me?!"
"Could you show me a little respect?!"
Wang Zhuo waved a hand. "Oh, carry on."
Hidden Dragon snorted. "I'm just telling the truth. All the intel this kid collects is garbage. Gathering intel is about picking out what matters, get it?"
As he spoke, he didn't forget to take another bite of his huge drumstick.
"Collecting everything indiscriminately without prioritizing anything? That's obviously amateur work."
"You fat bastard..." Feng XingTong was utterly speechless. He hadn't expected to run into him here.
"Since you're so fucking amazing, do you know anything about these two beside me?"
Provoked, Hidden Dragon immediately sized them up. "Hiss... one slacker dipshit and one blind guy with dyed white hair."
"Where did you dig up this pair of geniuses?"
"I only take elites here, not trash~~~"
"The fuck?!" ×2
Wang Zhuo and Zhang Chulan instantly unleashed a combo, launching into a barrage of Rayleigh Hot West Elbow Strikes.
"Dipshit, huh?!"
"Blind guy, huh?!"
Zhang: "You're pretty fucking cocky!"
Wang: "You fat bastard, believe me when I say I'll scrape that blubber off you and use it to light a sky lantern!"
Hidden Dragon howled nonstop. "Ow, stop hitting me! Stop! Not my handsome face!"
"Yamete, not there~!!!"
Feng Baobao held the box of braised chicken drumsticks that had flown out of his hands and was thoroughly enjoying a drumstick.
Zhang: "You deserve this beating! You've got it coming!"
"Take my halberd!"
"Hey, hey, hey, you three! No fighting on Mount Longhu!" Unable to watch any longer, a Taoist priest immediately stepped out to stop them.
The two instantly changed their expressions and moved apart as if nothing had happened.
"Chulan, look at the sky..."
"What about it?"
"It's really blue."
"I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't said anything. It really is blue."
"..." Everyone.
Could you two be any more shameless?!
"Morals are declining, and people aren't what they used to be. Even blind guys are fucking bullshitting now." The cigarette fell from the mouth of a man watching the show, and he remained too stunned to recover.
Wang Zhuo spread his hands. "You all saw it. I'm blind. How could I possibly beat anyone up?"
"I just accidentally tripped over something and wanted to kick it out of the way. What if a little kid or an elderly person tripped and hurt themselves?"
"Don't slander a blind man. Everyone knows I can't see."
As he spoke, he didn't forget to give Hidden Dragon two vicious kicks.
???????
If you're human, we'll eat shit!!!
The priest's veins bulged. "Cut the bullshit, you two! You've beaten his face into a pig's head, and you're still feeding me this crap."
"Holy shit, Reverend, you can't insult people!" Zhang Chulan pointed at Hidden Dragon on the ground and shouted, "He already had a pig's head! He didn't need us to beat him for that!"
"So you admit you were the ones who beat him?"
"..." Zhang Chulan was momentarily speechless.
Fortunately, Wang Zhuo reacted fast enough. He slid to his knees in front of Hidden Dragon. "Dick Dragon, what's wrong, Dick Dragon?! Who beat you up like this? Tell your big brother! I'll get revenge for you!"
"Dick Dragon, don't fall asleep! You mustn't fall asleep!"
As he spoke, he slapped him across the face again and again.
A tear trickled from the corner of Hidden Dragon's eye.
Zhang Chulan instantly joined the fray. "Dick Dragon, what's wrong, Dick Dragon?! My good brother, my dearest friend!"
"Say something! Hurry up and say something!"
He clamped a hand tightly over Hidden Dragon's mouth, terrified that even half a word might escape.
The crowd: ...
Do we look like fucking idiots to you two?
The priest pressed a hand to his forehead helplessly. "You two menaces, there are surveillance cameras here..."
"Fuck, why didn't you say so sooner?!" Wang Zhuo immediately let go, and Hidden Dragon dropped back onto the ground.
Zhang Chulan said, "You all saw it. He was asking for it! People like that deserve a beating!"
"Are you... even human?" Hidden Dragon pointed at the two with a trembling finger.
Wang Zhuo looked surprised. "Poets? We're not wordsmiths. Go wax lyrical at someone else."
"Pfft!" Hidden Dragon nearly passed out from anger.
The priest crouched to examine him, and his expression suddenly grew uncertain. "How bizarre. This doesn't even qualify as a minor injury..."
?!!!
Hidden Dragon's eyes widened.
"It doesn't even qualify as a minor injury?!"
"Easy for you to say when you weren't the one getting beaten! Mount Longhu really has fallen into darkness."
Wang Zhuo chuckled inwardly at that.
The noble horse eliminated all injuries and illnesses. This was what they called coating your fists in iodine: disinfecting as you beat.
Feng XingTong, who had been baffled the entire time, came to his senses, utterly shocked by the pair's shameless behavior.
No wonder Zhang Chulan had been so shocked when this Liu Guanyi introduced himself earlier.
So you're both birds of a feather, cut from the same cloth!
Still, he didn't forget to mock Hidden Dragon. He walked up to him with a grin. "Didn't see that coming, did you, Hidden Dragon? The slacker you mentioned is the famous Zhang Chulan."
"And you said my intel gathering was bad. You've still got a lot to learn, little bro."
"Zhang Chulan?!" Hidden Dragon was shocked once again, and even his fat quivered three times.
In the otherhuman world, this guy was practically a walking slab of juicy meat. Who wouldn't have their eyes light up and want a bite?
He'd never expected the man to be the famous Zhang Chulan.
"So he's Zhang Chulan!"
The surrounding otherhumans turned their gazes toward him too. Their earlier disgust and shock had already turned into intense hostility.
Here stood a living heir to one of the Eight Extraordinary Skills.
"That's Zhang Chulan?!"
"He's the heir to Qi-State Origin-Flow."
"Looking at the way he acted just now, I never would've guessed."
Looking at all the ill-intentioned gazes around him, Zhang Chulan had already cursed eighteen generations of Feng XingTong's ancestors.
"Holy shit, you dipshit! You're really good at drawing aggro onto me!"
Feng XingTong gave an awkward smile and hurriedly grabbed Wang Zhuo. "This guy is also from Nadutong. He's Liu Guanyi of the famous Liu Family!"
"According to my bro Chulan, he's a big shot who took part in PDD's ten-billion project!"
"Ooooooh!!!!!!!" Hidden Dragon's eyes went as wide as they could.
"Who?"
Before you continue