Porridge Drowns Seven Armies!

Smoke and dust rising from the western horizon blotted out the sun, and the ground trembled more and more rapidly.

Fang Yu stood on the city wall and squinted at what he saw—it was not the dust kicked up by an ordinary army marching, but a demonic cloud carrying a bloody wind!

"Immortal Master!" Sun Qian staggered up the city wall, his goatee trembling in the strong wind. "The scouts report that Zhang Jiao is personally leading 100,000 Yellow Turban Army, and..." He swallowed hard, "And 3,000 Yellow Turban Warriors!"

Fang Yu frowned upon hearing this.

"One hundred thousand? You estimated that by sight?"

"Truly Immortal Master! One glance can take in ten thousand people!"

Fang Yu realized that the population figures in the Mythical Three Kingdoms were a bit off; Fudo always in the hundreds of thousands, sounding like something out of a game.

On the distant horizon, a dark mass of people surged in like ants. The Yellow Turban Army at the front all had green eyes and grinned from ear to ear, looking like mad dogs that hadn't eaten for three days.

The "Yellow Turban Warriors" following behind them were even more terrifying.

A three-meter-tall, rotting giant, wrapped in a blood-soaked yellow cloth, left smoky footprints on the ground with every step it took.

"Thump! Thump! Thump!"

The war drums thundered like muffled thunder, and Zhang Jiao actually floated in mid-air on an altar carried by sixteen rotting corpses.

He had disheveled hair, held a nine-section staff, and the Bagua pattern embroidered on his robe was writhing eerily.

"You white porridge Demon Person!" Zhang Jiao's roar shook the city wall, causing bricks and stones to fall. "You stole my Essential Arts of Great Peace and the name of the Yellow Heaven. Today, I will make sure your soul is scattered to the winds!"

Fang Yu rubbed his ears, which were itchy from the vibration, and turned to Bocai with a smile, "He said I stole from him, do you believe him?"

Bocai's Flame Spear was already glowing red. "Immortal Master, let this humble general go and meet him!"

"No rush." Fang Yu waved his hand, then suddenly shouted to the "Yellow Turban Army" of five thousand refugees below the city. "Brothers! Are you hungry?"

"Hungry!!!" The roar of five thousand voices actually drowned out the war drums of the opposing army of one hundred thousand.

Fang Yu grinned and slammed his hands on the battlements. "Then today I'll show you what it really means to ' Porridge Drowns Seven Armies '!"

Before he finished speaking, his body erupted with dazzling lightning, and he shot into the sky like a cannonball!

Upon seeing this, Zhang Jiao hurriedly made a hand seal, and countless blood-red Talismans immediately appeared around the altar.

"The Essential Arts of Great Peace: Devouring Ten Thousand Ghosts"

Before Zhang Jiao could finish reciting his incantation, his eyes suddenly widened!

Fang Yu didn't fly towards him at all. Instead, he suddenly stopped in mid-air between the two armies, spreading his arms wide like a cross with his palms facing down.

"The Porridge Drowns Seven Armies!"

"Splash!!!"

(Several authors put a lot of effort into their illustrations, so giving them a monthly pass isn't too much to ask, right?)

A deafening gurgling sound suddenly resounded throughout the world.

What spewed from Fang Yu's palm was no longer a thin stream, but a column of porridge with a diameter of 100 meters!

Thick white porridge poured down like Heavenly River dam, instantly creating a three-foot-deep Sea of Porridge on the plain.

Caught off guard, the Yellow Turban Army at the forefront fell directly into the boiling porridge.

"Hot! Hot! Hot!" A Yellow Turban bandit had just cried out in pain when he suddenly froze. "Huh? Sweet?" He subconsciously licked his lips, his eyes widening like Copper Bell. "My god! It's really plain porridge!"

This exclamation stirred up a hornet's nest, and the 100,000 Yellow Turban Army were instantly thrown into chaos!

Some tried to continue charging, but were knocked off balance by the waves of porridge; others simply knelt in the Sea of Porridge and drank it down, even throwing away their weapons; even more outrageous were a few Yellow Turban Warriors, these giant corpses that should have been invulnerable to swords and spears, who were now scooping porridge into their mouths with their giant hands like children, not even caring that the maggots in their eye sockets were being scalded.

These people were just temporary recruits brought in by Zhang Jiao, who said they would be given porridge during the war.

Although it's working now, the method that made it work disgusted even Zhang Jiao himself!

He had truly cemented the title of "Porridge Immortal" for the other party!

"Don't drink it! That's sorcery!" Zhang Jiao was furious, waving his nine-section staff wildly. "Yellow Turban Warriors, listen to my command! Kill!"

He looked down and almost fainted from anger!

The three thousand Yellow Turban Warriors were thrashing about in the Sea of Porridge like Chiaotzu being dropped into a pot, their desperate, life-or-death state exactly the same as their behavior before they were turned into corpses.

Fang Yu grinned from ear to ear in mid-air. "Old Zhang, are you trying to starve people?"

"Demon Person, cease your arrogance!" Zhang Jiao roared in fury, suddenly biting his tongue and spitting it onto his nine-section staff, unleashing the Forbidden Jutsu of Taiping: Three Heads Six Arms Dharma Form!

In an instant, the world changed color! Zhang Jiao's body swelled up, his robes tore apart, and he actually grew three heads and six arms.

Each hand held a strange magical Magic Tool: a human bone whisk, Copper Bell from an infant's skull, and a rope used to bind immortals.

Upon seeing this, Sun Qian on the ground shouted, "Immortal Master, be careful! That's the highest Secret Technique of the Way of Great Peace!"

"Heh, you dare to show off your meager skills in front of an expert, before my porridge?"

"All of this was a struggle before death!"

He waved his hand and shouted, "Porridge, please!"

Splash!

White porridge fell from the sky!

Not a single one of them could stand still on the ground. The 100,000 Yellow Turban Army had long forgotten that they came to fight, and were all crawling and rolling in the Sea of Porridge.

Some people used their helmets as bowls, some took off their pants to use as porridge bags, and a few clever ones even dismantled their shields to use as rowboats, holding a "dragon boat race" on the Sea of Porridge.

"My army!" Zhang Jiao cried out, one of his heads weeping bitterly, while the other head continued cursing, "Don't drink it! That's enemy porridge!" Before he could finish speaking, Fang Yu shoved a mouthful of white porridge right in his face, silencing him.

Zhang Jiao spat out the grains of rice in his mouth, then suddenly burst into tears. "Why... why does your porridge taste so much better than my talisman water?"

"Because I can really conjure up white porridge." Fang Yu smiled and stretched out his hand, spraying white porridge from his palm. "Want some? It's all you can eat."

"This is outrageous! I'll fight you to the death!"

Fang Yu did not give Zhang Jiao any chance to fight head-on. The white porridge filling the sky and the tsunami-like atmosphere instantly swallowed Zhang Jiao in the air, and together with the 100,000-strong army, they rushed into the distance!

These people really are the type who come and go exactly as they came.

But they were indeed full.

The news of Zhang Jiao being swept away by the porridge waves spread like wildfire, reaching the entire Central Plains in less than three days.

Inside the Luoyang Royal Palace, Zhang Rang, the head of the Ten Eunuchs, was massaging Emperor Ling of Han's legs when a young eunuch suddenly tumbled in, shouting, "Your Majesty! Something terrible has happened! A Demonic Daoist in Dong Commandery has appeared who can summon wind and rain, and with a single move, he has drowned Zhang Jiao's army of 100,000!"

Emperor Ling of Han of Han lazily rolled over. "What's the panic? Send Lu Zhi with the Five Regiments of the Northern Army to suppress them."

"No, Your Majesty!" The eunuch trembled like a leaf. "That Demonic Daoist wasn't drowned with water, he was drowned with plain porridge!"

Emperor Ling of Han exclaimed in surprise, "White porridge? Is there such a divine person in the world? Summon him to the palace and let him go to provide disaster relief!"

Zhang Rang noticed the eunuch's hesitant expression and made a finger-pinching gesture. "If you have something to say, just say it. Why are you beating around the bush?"

Upon hearing the head eunuch's words, the young eunuch mustered his courage and muttered, "Then, the Porridge Immortal said..."

"Stop dawdling! Hurry up and tell us!"

"Speak, the Blue Heaven is Dead; the Yellow Heaven Shall Rise humble Fang Yu. I beg the Great Han!"

"Going to one's death"

"Crack!" The jade ruyi in Zhang Rang's hand fell to the ground and shattered into pieces!