Can I Just Eat the Cat?

"I'm done!"

Son Goten threw his hoe onto the ground and flopped spread-eagled in the freshly weeded vegetable patch.

"I came here to be a ninja, not a housekeeper."

"This kind of mission doesn't even pay enough for a bowl of ramen. This is child labor abuse."

Naruto crouched nearby with two adhesive bandages on his face, covering scratches he had gotten while babysitting yesterday.

"I think so too... this is so boring."

Naruto sighed, still clutching a handful of weeds.

"Is this what ninja training is? It feels pretty different from what I imagined."

Sasuke said nothing, but his weeding was full of murderous intent. He tore every weed out by the roots, as though they were not weeds but a certain man's hair.

Kakashi leaned against a tree, still holding his copy of Icha Icha Paradise.

"Stop complaining. This is a necessary step in gaining experience."

He turned a page without looking up.

"Only with a solid foundation can you take on higher-level missions."

"Besides, today's mission is a little more challenging."

Kakashi closed his book and pulled a photograph from inside his clothes.

The photograph showed a brown tabby cat wearing a pink bow, with a rather fierce look in its eyes.

"Mission objective: capture the runaway pet cat, Ahu."

"Don't underestimate it. This cat is agile and has already scratched three Genin."

Son Goten rolled over, got up, and dusted the dirt off his backside.

"A cat?"

He leaned over to look at the photograph and curled his lip.

"Too little meat, all bones. Wouldn't taste good."

The corner of Kakashi's eye twitched.

"It's a pet, not an ingredient."

"Let's go. The target is in the woods to the west."

The four of them lay in the grass, watching a large tree ahead.

The cat named Ahu lay on a branch, leisurely licking its paws.

"Found it!"

Naruto kept his voice low as he rubbed his hands together excitedly.

"Watch me catch it. I'm going to show what I can do this time!"

"Be careful. It's very agile."

Sakura warned him.

Before she finished speaking, Naruto had already darted out.

"Yaaah! Come down, kitty!"

Naruto spread his arms and lunged straight at the trunk.

Ahu stopped licking its paws, its slit pupils filled with almost human contempt.

Just as Naruto was about to wrap his arms around the trunk, it pushed off with its hind legs, moving so fast it left only an afterimage.

"Meow!"

Several cold glints flashed past.

"Ow, ow, ow!"

Naruto fell back into the grass, clutching his face, which now bore three bloody scratches.

Ahu landed in another tree and looked down at Naruto, letting out a mocking cry.

"Meoow-"

"Damn it! That stupid cat actually dared to scratch me!"

Naruto stomped in fury and was about to form hand seals to use shadow clones.

"Enough. Stop embarrassing yourself."

Son Goten pressed a hand against Naruto's shoulder and pushed him aside.

"Using ninjutsu just to catch a cat? How would Team 7 ever live that down?"

He slowly walked out of the grass and stood beneath the tree.

Ahu immediately arched its back, a threatening growl rising in its throat as its claws extended again.

It sensed a dangerous aura coming from the human before it.

Son Goten looked up at the cat in the tree, and his stomach let out another undignified growl.

He had never been able to get enough to eat lately. Everything looked like food.

"There's not much meat, but it should smell pretty good roasted, right?"

Son Goten licked his lips.

His gaze changed.

That was not the way someone looked at a pet.

It was the absolute dominance over weaker creatures etched into a Saiyan's genes.

There was no murderous intent, only naked appetite.

Every hair on Ahu's body stood on end, its tail as stiff as an iron rod.

It felt as though an ancient behemoth had set its sights on it.

One move, and it would be torn apart, tossed into that mouth, and have its bones chewed to pieces.

"Mew... mew..."

Ahu let out a warped screech, its limbs going rigid as it fell straight out of the tree.

Thud.

It hit the ground, but did not even have the strength to run. It lay there trembling, foaming at the mouth.

Son Goten unfastened the cat carrier from his waist, opened its door, and set it on the ground.

"Get in."

That was all he said.

As though granted a pardon, Ahu scrambled into the cage. It even hooked the door shut from inside with a paw, then curled into a ball in the corner.

Naruto and Sakura stared, dumbfounded.

"Th-that's it?"

Naruto touched the wounds on his face, looking as though he were questioning everything.

"Why did it go in on its own?"

Sasuke watched Son Goten's back, his brows tightly furrowed.

"All done."

Son Goten picked up the cage and gave it a shake.

"Let's go. Hurry up and turn in the mission so we can get paid and eat."

The Land of Fire Daimyo's Wife's Annex.

When that enormous woman appeared with thick layers of powder and rouge plastered over her face, Son Goten finally understood true terror.

"Oh ho ho ho! My little Ahu!"

The Daimyo's Wife snatched the cage, her huge mouth, smeared with bright red lipstick, stretching into an ear-to-ear grin.

Powder showered from her face as she laughed.

After confirming that the cat was all right, the Daimyo's Wife turned her gaze to Son Goten.

"Oh my, were you the one who caught this little kitty?"

"You're so adorable, just like a porcelain doll."

The Daimyo's Wife's eyes lit up. Spreading arms thicker than Son Goten's waist, she lunged at him in a cloud of heavy perfume.

"Come here, let big sister give you a hug as a reward!"

Son Goten watched that mountainlike ball of flesh bear down on him.

Those lips, painted to resemble a gaping, blood-red maw, drew closer and closer.

This was the most terrifying creature he had ever seen in his life.

More terrifying than Frieza.

More horrifying than Buu.

Whoosh!

Only an afterimage remained in the air.

The next second, Son Goten was behind Sakura.

He clutched Sakura's clothes tightly, huddled into a ball, his face pale.

"Sakura, save me!"

Son Goten pointed at the Daimyo's Wife, his voice trembling.

"There's a monster trying to eat me!"

Sakura nearly lost her balance from his grip. She looked at Son Goten trembling behind her, then at the embarrassed Daimyo's Wife.

Was this really the same monster who shattered a boulder with one punch?

Kakashi hurried forward to stand in front of the Daimyo's Wife, putting on a professional, fake smile.

"Madam, the children are young and don't know any better."

"The mission is complete, so we'll take our leave."

With that, he grabbed Naruto and Sasuke, who had yet to recover, signaled Sakura with his eyes, and all but fled the annex.

Even after running two streets away, Son Goten was still shaken.

"That was terrifying... was that woman trying to kill me?"

Son Goten patted his chest, gasping for breath.

"Don't come to me with missions like that again. I won't do them no matter how much they pay."

Kakashi sighed helplessly and distributed the mission payment among them.

"All right, today's mission is over."

"I'm going to write my report. Dismissed."

With that, Kakashi immediately used the Body Flicker Technique and slipped away.

He left three kids standing in the street with their stomachs growling.

"I'm so hungry..."

Naruto rubbed his stomach and looked at the bills in his hand.

"This isn't enough for barbecue."

Son Goten counted his money. It was not much, but it should be enough to get him half full.

"Let's go."

He stuffed the money into his pocket and waved his hand.

"To Ichiraku Ramen."

"As long as there's ramen to eat, this day won't have been a waste."

The three headed toward Ichiraku Ramen.

It was mealtime, and the enticing aroma of bone broth drifted from the ramen shop.

Son Goten and the others had just sat down.

The entrance curtain lifted again.

Several familiar figures walked in.

"Ah, that smells so good. Ramen really is the way to go."

A clear female voice rang out.

Son Goten turned his head, and the chopsticks in his mouth fell out.

Ino?