How Could Someone So Cute Possibly Have a Package!

"I don't believe it! I don't believe it! I don't believe it!"

Son Goten pointed at the figure before him, still as gentle and lovely as ever, his finger trembling violently.

"You're lying! This has to be a lie!"

"Look at your skin! It's softer than a peeled egg! And look at your hair! It's smoother than the finest silk! And that smell... that's clearly the natural fragrance only a top-tier beauty could have!"

The more he spoke, the more agitated he became, until his voice even took on a tearful edge.

"How could you be a boy? How could you have a dick? This is completely unscientific! It defies the laws of biology!"

Haku stood there, holding a basket full of herbs, and blinked helplessly at the little boy losing his mind before him.

"I'm sorry to shatter your fantasy, but that's the truth."

Haku's voice was still clear and gentle, so lovely it could make someone's ears pregnant.

But to Son Goten, that voice now sounded like a demon's whisper.

"Aaah! Shut up! I'm not listening!"

Son Goten covered his ears and shook his head frantically.

"This has to be that bandaged freak's doing! That guy with no eyebrows looks exactly like the kind of person who'd use such dirty tricks!"

"An illusion! This has to be the highest-level illusion!"

Son Goten suddenly pulled his hands away and pressed his palms together, even trying to mobilize the ki inside him to break through this nonexistent "illusion."

"Release! Release it, damn it!"

Nothing changed.

Haku still looked as exquisitely beautiful as ever, and his flat chest was still just as glaring.

"Why won't it break?"

Son Goten gritted his teeth, his gaze turning fierce.

"If ki won't break it, I'll wake myself up with pain!"

Smack!

A crisp slap rang out.

Son Goten slapped himself hard, and half his face instantly swelled red.

"Still not awake?"

He reached down again, pinched the tenderest flesh on his inner thigh hard, and gave it a full clockwise twist.

"Owww!"

Tears shot from Son Goten's eyes from the pain, and he hopped up and down on the spot.

The pain was utterly real. Every nerve screamed at him: this was reality.

"No... this isn't real..."

Son Goten slumped to the ground and stared blankly at the sky.

At that moment, he felt that big, loving heart of his, which aspired to give every beautiful woman a home, shatter into a QR code that couldn't even be scanned.

"Why is heaven doing this to me?"

"I finally met a big sister who also had black hair and looked exactly like my type..."

"And it turns out he's a guy?"

"This is as disgusting as having a steaming bowl of tonkotsu ramen served to you, taking a sip of the broth, and realizing it's actually dirty footbath water!"

Haku watched the little boy's complete breakdown. Although he didn't quite understand why the boy was reacting so strongly, he still found it somewhat amusing.

This child really is interesting.

"Even if I'm a man, you don't have to be so devastated, do you?"

The corners of Haku's mouth lifted in a faint smile.

Morning light pierced the thin mist and fell across his face.

That smile was like melting snow and ice, like spring warmth bringing flowers into bloom.

Son Goten's heart, which had already fallen deathly still, traitorously skipped a beat.

Even knowing the truth, even with his reason frantically sounding the alarm, his body's instinctive response still left him staring in a daze.

"Pfft!"

Son Goten clutched his chest, nearly coughing up a mouthful of blood.

Grief and indignation!

Such grief and indignation!

"You... stop smiling!"

Son Goten pointed at Haku, his voice trembling.

"This is a crime! You're toying with an innocent boy's feelings!"

He frantically repeated to himself, Son Goten, get a grip! You're a Saiyan! You're the man who's going to become the king of a harem!

You can't turn gay! Absolutely not!

He's got a dick! He pees standing up! If you both whipped them out, his might even be bigger than yours!

"Snap out of it, damn it!"

Son Goten slapped himself again, trying to knock all those chaotic thoughts out of his head.

Haku glanced at the sky. The mist had already begun to disperse.

"It's getting late. Mr. Zabuza must be getting impatient."

He lifted his basket and took one last look at Son Goten, who was still sitting on the ground questioning his life.

"Go back soon. Don't catch a chill."

With that, Haku turned and walked deeper into the woods.

His retreating figure was slender and graceful, every step elegant. No matter how one looked at him, he looked like a peerless beauty.

"Don't go..."

Son Goten reached out, wanting to stop him, but pulled his hand back.

With a complicated look in his eyes, he watched the direction Haku had disappeared in until even the last glimpse of his pink hem was gone.

"I don't believe it."

Son Goten climbed off the ground and patted the dirt off his backside, his expression gradually turning fierce and determined.

"There has to be some mistake."

"Maybe some special Ninjutsu or Sealing Jutsu hid his original female characteristics."

"Yes! He has to be a woman disguised as a man!"

"That's how it always goes in novels. Beautiful women disguise themselves as men to make traveling the world easier!"

"Those hard pecs I touched earlier had to be fake, too! There were steel plates padded underneath!"

Son Goten clung to this last lifeline, refusing to let go.

This encounter left an indelible psychological scar on Son Goten, who was only ten years old.

He secretly swore that whenever he met a pretty big sister in the future, he would verify her sex first.

Unless he stripped off all her clothes and checked, he absolutely couldn't let himself develop feelings!

He even developed a strange obsession.

He had to prove that this person called Haku was female!

Even if he was male, he would beat him into a woman!

With this terrifying obsession, Son Goten dragged his heavy feet back to Tazuna's house, swaying with every few steps.

At that moment, Sakura and Naruto were getting ready to head out for more special training.

Everyone was startled to see Son Goten's haggard expression, as though ten burly men had taken turns ravaging him.

"Goten? What's wrong?"

Sakura came over and looked at him with some concern.

"Did you run into an enemy? Why is your face so swollen?"

Naruto came over too, shouting noisily, "Boss, who beat you up? Tell me! I'll get revenge for you!"

Son Goten raised his head. His once-vibrant eyes were now dull and lifeless, as though he had seen through all worldly attachments.

He waved a hand.

"Don't ask."

"I just went through a disaster."

"More terrifying than facing a powerful enemy, more hopeless than having no ramen to eat."

Sakura froze. "What exactly happened?"

Son Goten let out a long sigh and gazed up at the sky at a forty-five-degree angle, a glistening tear slipping from the corner of his eye.

"I've had my heart broken."

"And before it even began, cruel reality doused the little flame of love."

"It even stamped out the embers and pissed on them for good measure."

Everyone: "???"

Clutching his chest, Son Goten staggered inside and collapsed headfirst onto the tatami.

"Don't call me. I'm going to sleep."

"I need to rebuild my worldview in my dreams..."