As long as the face was pretty, gender didn't matter

Son Goten held a torn length of waistband, still poised to tug backward.

In front of him, Haku had already vanished.

"He ran?"

Son Goten tossed away the strip of cloth and curled his lip in displeasure.

"His pants were almost off, and he runs now?"

A piercing screech rang through the air.

Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp-!

It was the sound of a thousand birds calling together, shrill and piercing, accompanied by the crackle of electricity tearing through the air.

In the distance.

Kakashi crouched on the ground, his right hand already wrapped in violent Lightning Release Chakra.

Blue-white currents leaped wildly in his palm, instantly evaporating the surrounding mist.

And opposite him.

Zabuza was rigid, unable to move.

Eight Ninja Dogs had their teeth firmly sunk into his limbs and neck, blood dripping from their mouths.

"It's over, Zabuza."

Kakashi's gaze was icy, the Lightning Blade in his hand blazing brighter.

"You'll be the first person to die to this move of mine. That's not such a bad end."

Zabuza gritted his teeth and struggled desperately.

He couldn't budge.

The breath of death rushed toward him.

"Die!"

Kakashi pushed off, shattering the ground beneath his feet.

His entire body became a bolt of blue lightning, thrusting straight toward Zabuza's heart.

At that critical instant.

An ice mirror appeared out of thin air in front of Zabuza.

The mirror shattered.

A slender figure stepped between Zabuza and the Lightning Blade.

Haku spread his arms, a tragically beautiful resolve on his exquisitely delicate face.

Even in death, he would protect his master as a tool.

"Haku!"

Zabuza's pupils contracted.

Kakashi wanted to pull back, but the Lightning Blade was a thrusting Ninjutsu. Once launched, it simply couldn't be stopped.

Electricity surged.

The hand that could pierce solid rock was only an inch from Haku's heart.

Haku's eyelashes trembled as he slowly closed his eyes.

Waiting for death to come.

There was no pain.

The anticipated sound of his body being pierced never came either.

There was only a dull impact.

Thud!

A violent rush of air followed, throwing all the nearby Ninja Dogs away.

Haku opened his eyes in confusion.

A hand that wasn't particularly large was held across his chest.

That hand had a firm grip on Kakashi's wrist.

The violent Lightning Blade raged wildly in its grasp, currents darting like silver snakes with explosive crackles.

But the hand didn't budge.

Not even its skin was broken.

Kakashi's exposed, listless eye widened, its pupil abruptly contracting.

He stared at the kid before him, who had teleported over without him noticing when.

"G... Goten?"

A pale golden aura blazed around Son Goten, his hair standing up slightly. In that moment, his presence actually pressed down on Kakashi until he could barely breathe.

"Teacher, killing people is wrong."

Son Goten tilted his head, his other hand feeling over Haku's body. Only after confirming that he wasn't hurt did he let out a breath of relief.

"Especially killing someone this good-looking. That's even more wrong."

Kakashi felt as though his wrist were clamped in iron pincers, his bones groaning.

He tried to pull his hand back. It didn't budge.

"He's protecting Zabuza! He's the enemy!"

Kakashi shouted, cold sweat streaming down his forehead.

He caught the Lightning Blade barehanded?

Was he really still a Genin? Was this even a human body?

"And he's a man! A man!"

Kakashi felt it necessary to stress that point, trying to restore reason to his looks-obsessed student.

Son Goten looked down at Haku.

Haku was staring blankly at him, his clear eyes filled with disbelief. His long hair clung messily to his cheeks, giving him a fragile beauty.

He really was beautiful.

Even knowing this guy had a dick down there.

Even after nearly verifying the truth just now.

That face still appealed to Son Goten's tastes far too much.

"So what if he's a man?"

Son Goten raised his head and looked at Kakashi with complete conviction, his expression as solemn as though he were proclaiming some universal truth.

"Even if he's a man, that face is still a treasure of the world!"

"As long as he's good-looking, a little thing like gender can be ignored!"

"I, Son Goten, may be a lecher, but I appreciate beauty even more!"

"If someone this pretty dies, who am I supposed to feast my eyes on?"

Kakashi: "..."

Sasuke: "..."

Naruto: "..."

Dead silence fell over everyone.

Only the electricity continued to sizzle.

What kind of reason was that?

Because he was good-looking, he had to be saved even if he was an enemy?

Because he was good-looking, it was fine even if he was a man?

What kind of twisted, overbearing values were those!

"Are you insane?"

Zabuza recovered from his shock and roared.

"Brat, don't think I'll be grateful just because you saved Haku! He's my tool!"

Son Goten turned and gave Zabuza an indifferent glance.

"Shut up, you eyebrowless creep."

"Guys like you who treat beautiful women... beautiful men as tools really piss me off."

Now that the face was safe.

There was no need to let these two stay here being eyesores.

Especially Zabuza. Just looking at him was annoying.

Son Goten released Kakashi's wrist.

Before anyone could react.

He raised his leg.

A side kick.

The movement was simple and brutal, without any flourishes.

Thud!

The kick landed squarely on Zabuza's great sword.

Along with Haku, who stood in front of him.

An immense force erupted in an instant.

Zabuza felt as though a Tailed Beast had slammed into him head-on. He, the Kubikiribōchō, and Haku in his arms were sent flying like a shooting star.

Whoosh-!

The two traced a perfect arc through the air, flying dozens of meters before crashing heavily into the unfinished end of the bridge.

Clatter, crash.

They tumbled into a heap. Though disheveled, they were clearly out of Kakashi's attack range.

"All done."

Son Goten dusted off his hands, then shook out his slightly numb right hand.

"The Lightning Blade isn't all that powerful, but the electricity does make my hand a little numb."

Kakashi looked at his now-dissipated Lightning Blade, then at Zabuza struggling to get up in the distance, his feelings impossibly complicated.

Not all that powerful?

This was an S-rank Ninjutsu!

A move that could cut through lightning!

And this kid's verdict was 'makes my hand a little numb'?

"Goten, you're letting a tiger return to the mountains."

Kakashi sighed and pulled his forehead protector down over his Sharingan.

With Son Goten interfering, this fight definitely wasn't going to continue.

"Don't worry, teacher."

Son Goten stuck both hands in his pockets, looking utterly unconcerned.

"I could take ten guys like that with one hand."

"Besides..."

His ears twitched, and his gaze shifted to the other end of the bridge.

The thick mist gradually dispersed.

A jumble of footsteps approached, accompanied by the sound of a cane tapping against the ground.

"The really annoying flies are here."

Son Goten rolled his neck, producing sharp cracks.

His gloomy mood after the blow of discovering Haku's gender urgently needed an outlet.

"My wallet happens to be hungry too."