The allure of fishnets!

The Hokage Building in Konoha.

Team 7 arrived travel-worn. Son Goten walked with both hands behind his head and a stalk of foxtail grass he had picked up somewhere dangling from his mouth, looking every bit like a little thug who had just finished collecting protection money.

Naruto followed behind him, vividly describing to the ninja at the door how Son Goten had shattered an ice mirror with a single punch.

"Old man! We're back!"

Naruto shoved open the door to the Hokage's office, his voice loud enough to shake a layer of dust off the ceiling.

Third Hokage Hiruzen Sarutobi sat behind his desk smoking a pipe. Amid the curling smoke, he raised his head and looked at the group coming in.

Kakashi came in last, holding the mission report. He looked utterly drained, with deep exhaustion showing around his eyes.

"Kakashi, thank you for your hard work. It seems there were quite a few unexpected developments on this mission to the Land of Waves." The Third took the report, a helpless expression crossing his face as his gaze passed over Son Goten.

Son Goten said nothing. He rushed straight to the desk, planted both hands on it, and vaulted up to squat in front of the Third.

"Old man, where's my pay? My money? My ramen fund?" Son Goten held out his little hand, palm up, and shook it.

"Kakashi-sensei told me that a mission where we run into rogue ninja and have to fight a few hundred thugs ought to get bumped up a rank."

The Third Hokage slowly took a puff from his pipe, opened the report, and tapped the desktop.

"Goten, according to the rules, you accepted a C-rank mission. Although the difficulty increased along the way, village regulations don't allow us to change a mission's rank and payment at will. Still, considering the circumstances, I'll apply for an additional bonus for you."

"How much of a bonus?" Son Goten's eyes lit up.

The Third held up three fingers.

"Three million ryo?" Son Goten's breathing quickened.

"Thirty ramen vouchers," the Third said calmly.

Son Goten's face fell instantly. The corner of his eye twitched, and he promptly flopped onto the solid wooden floor of the Hokage's office, kicking his legs wildly as he launched into a tantrum.

"No way! No way! How can you bully a kid like this?!"

"I caught a Lightning Blade with my bare hand, kicked the Demon, and surrounded three hundred thugs all by myself!"

"I've suffered serious emotional trauma! My first love ended before it even began! That Haku... that Haku was actually a guy!"

Son Goten rolled around and wailed so miserably that Kakashi could only look up at the ceiling.

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a glance, silently stepped half a pace back, and pretended not to know their teammate, who was currently dusting the floor with his body.

"Boo-hoo... I have it so rough. To protect this village, I even had my sense of beauty warped."

Son Goten clutched his chest, throwing himself into the performance. "Thirty vouchers? Are you fobbing off a beggar? I want a lifetime supply of ramen!"

Just then, the office door opened again.

"Lord Hokage, about the proctor assignments for the Chunin Ninja Exams..."

A hearty female voice entered the room.

Son Goten's wailing stopped abruptly.

Still lying on the floor, he tilted his head and looked up from floor level.

A pair of long, straight legs came into view. What really made him stare were the black fishnet stockings wrapped around them, their firm contours showing through the mesh.

Farther up were a short skirt and an open tan trench coat. Beneath the coat... she was wearing nothing but fishnet clothing!

It was Mitaraishi Anko.

She had a half-eaten skewer of dango between her lips. Her wheat-colored skin had a healthy glow, and her figure was so voluptuous that the fishnet top could barely contain it.

Son Goten's eyes instantly turned into hearts.

Haku who? What boy?

At that moment, all those psychological shadows vanished without a trace.

Now this was art! This was a genuine woman!

Son Goten sprang to his feet with a kip-up and pushed off the floor with his toes.

"Big Sis Anko!"

He became a blur and lunged straight at Anko.

Before Anko could figure out what was happening, she felt a weight around her waist.

Like a koala, Son Goten locked both arms tightly around Anko's waist, buried his entire face against her lower abdomen, and nuzzled hard twice.

"Ahhh! I'm saved! I'm finally back in the real world!"

Son Goten shouted in a muffled voice.

Anko froze where she stood, still holding her dango skewer, and looked down in bewilderment at the cute little boy clinging to her.

"Wh... where did this kid come from?" Anko turned to the Third.

The Third Hokage covered his forehead and let out a long sigh. "That's Son Goten, the Ichiraku family's adopted son."

"Big Sis Anko, I've suffered so much!" Son Goten raised his head, his eyes sparkling, while his restless hands gave Anko's waist a few squeezes.

"The men in the Land of Waves are too devious. They're prettier than women. My heart shattered into pieces, and only your warmth can heal me, Big Sis."

Anko was taken aback at first. Then she looked at Son Goten's adorably innocent little face, especially those big eyes practically begging for comfort, and her heart instantly softened halfway.

As an easygoing female ninja who didn't stand on ceremony, Anko didn't find it offensive. Instead, she thought the kid had pretty good taste.

"Hahaha! So that's what happened."

Anko burst out laughing, popped the rest of the dango into her mouth, and used her newly freed hand to vigorously ruffle Son Goten's crab-shaped hair.

"You're saying you met a man who looked like a woman? That really is pretty rough. Still, kid, you've got good taste, knowing to come to me for comfort."

"Of course! Big Sis Anko is the prettiest woman in Konoha!" Son Goten eagerly took advantage of the opening, moving his hands a little higher.

"Big Sis, your clothes are really unusual. Is this mesh... meant to let the air through? It feels cool and really nice."

Kakashi coughed. "Goten..."

"Mind your own business! You closet pervert, carrying Icha Icha Paradise in your pocket, and you've got the nerve to criticize me?"

Son Goten turned back to snap at him, then put on a pitiful expression again as he looked at Anko.

"Big Sis, I'm hungry. The old man won't pay me, so I can't even afford dango."

Son Goten's behavior had Anko rocking with laughter. She patted his bottom and waved a hand grandly. "All right! Since you're such a smooth talker, I'll treat you to dango! As much as you can eat!"

"Really? Big Sis, you're the best! I want the kind with sweet syrup!" Son Goten cheered, still clinging to Anko and refusing to get down.

"Come on, let's go. I'll take you to Anko's House." Anko waved at the Hokage. "I'll bring the report over later. I'm taking this kid to get his wounds treated first."

Anko strode out of the office with Son Goten.

Watching from behind, Naruto's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "Boss... that actually works? Did he just touch that proctor lady's waist?"

Sasuke gave a cold snort, a trace of complexity in his eyes.