Please watch your language, you uncouth toad

The two of them stared at the contents, frozen in place, then looked at Fu Yanci in bewilderment. He remained expressionless and said nothing. They turned to the staff member, who finally stepped forward to explain the rules to them before returning to her spot.

So, didn't that mean they'd just been played?

Then what had they spent those two minutes praying for?

That they wouldn't publicly humiliate themselves on the show?

[No, I'm dying! Hahahaha!!! A dumb-looking toad-is there anything more savage than that? Is Song Wenjing seriously not going to explode?! I'm actually dying!]

[What's so funny? What are you laughing at? Doesn't anyone think Fu Yanci went too far? He was lying to them. How is that okay?!]

[Lying? You can say Fu Yanci didn't explain clearly, but that doesn't count as lying, does it?]

[Exactly. Fu Yanci said it decided where they'd stay, which wasn't wrong. He didn't lie. Later, he even said switching or not made no difference. What exactly did he lie about?]

[They just can't take a joke. What's there to argue about?]

"Bro, why did you lie to us?"

Lin Yuxuan felt like crying. Making a fool of himself was one thing, but doing it on a livestream? How was that any different from taking a dump in front of people?

"I didn't lie to you. Didn't she just say it? Whoever completes the most tasks gets to pick a house first. Doesn't that decide whether you get a good place to stay?"

That did seem to be what Fu Yanci had said at the start. Lin Yuxuan had nothing to say.

"I had you pray because I believe in the mystical. You weren't deceived by me. You just didn't believe in yourself. You got stun-locked by mysticism for two minutes."

The logic made sense, but it didn't sound quite right. He still felt he'd been scammed.

"Look on the bright side. Maybe your previous task was harder than this one."

"Go feed your cows, cowherd."

He had already spotted that idiot approaching. Dressed entirely in green, he was always far too conspicuous.

Lin Yuxuan had wanted to say more, but Fu Yanci's last remark caught in his chest. Aggrieved, he turned to find the way with Gu Zijin.

Forget it. Finishing the task mattered more. He still wanted a nice house.

[Ouch, that hurt. He's already pitiful enough. Why twist the knife? Though I'd be happy to do the same.]

[Lin Yuxuan may be my fave, but who doesn't love a wronged little puppy? Come get a hug from Mommy. We don't have to compete with anyone's scheming. We're just a little innocent.]

[Did Song Wenjing stop to dye his hair on the way? What salon works that fast? He even got highlights. They don't really match his outfit, though.]

[Open your eyes, kid. That's dust.]

As soon as he stopped the vehicle, Song Wenjing parked it haphazardly and rushed over to the staff to ask for two bottles of water. He used one to rinse his mouth and wash his face, and the other to rinse his hair.

Only once he felt he could breathe fresh air again did Song Wenjing stride furiously up to Fu Yanci.

"Fuck!"

"Please watch your language, you uncouth toad."

Fu Yanci looked Song Wenjing up and down with distaste. At the sight of water dripping from his hair, he swiftly stepped back, putting distance between them.

Song Wenjing: "???"

"You ran off to catch a ride and left me eating dust?! You're really something, Fu Yanci!"

"You're calling me uncouth?! Who bought someone else's peach orchard just because the peaches tasted bad, then chopped down every peach tree in it for firewood?!"

"Who could possibly beat you at being uncouth?!"

Smiling, Fu Yanci let Song Wenjing run his mouth. Once he finished, Fu Yanci gave a cold laugh.

He's done. My turn.

"When you were little, you didn't like the lady next door, so you went and took a dump outside her door in the middle of the night. The next morning, she opened the door, stepped in your shit, and fell. You haven't forgotten that, have you?"

"In elementary school, you thought the middle schooler next door was pretentious, so you grabbed a big handful of chicken shit from a chicken farm. You even aimed a chicken's butt at a plastic bag and forced it to shit. Then you hid the chicken shit in a cake and got him to eat it by sending it as a secret admirer. You haven't forgotten that, have you?"

"And when you were hospitalized, you egged on the kid in the next bed to go outside and shit as he walked, telling him it'd make him look impressive. You haven't forgotten that either, have you?"

"And-"

"Fu Yanci!"

Red-faced, Song Wenjing stopped Fu Yanci from saying anything else. He deeply regretted asking Fu Yanci to come on the show.

This guy hadn't come to help him at all. He'd come to screw him over!

"What? Have you realized I'm actually a very well-mannered person?"

"How can you even say that? Whose ideas were all those things?"

Shameless bastard!

All he fucking knew was how to screw him over! He'd been fucking doing it since they were kids!

[Well, well, well. I knew someone as guileless as Song Wenjing couldn't possibly come up with that many wicked ideas. So Fu Yanci came up with them, Song Wenjing carried them out, and Song Wenjing took all the embarrassment in the end. Fu Yanci lost absolutely nothing.]

[Mom told me not to play with scheming people because she said I have no brains (clown)(clown).]

[This guy's playing so hard he's risking his life! I've got plenty of shit. Can you count me in? I can take a dump for you on the spot.]

[I can smell it. Kindly roll yourself out, or I'll stick a mosquito coil up your PIG.]

[You're all so creative, but you can't just use mosquito coils because they smell strong. There's actually nothing wrong with poop. When I was little, I saw a poop superhero fly into the sky using his poop.]

[My eyes say their germophobia's acting up. I'm leaving for a bit. You bunch of poop lovers, just wait until I get the firefighters to put you all out!]

"Aren't you two going to draw your task cards? Careful, or you might not get a good place to stay."

Worried that letting these two keep arguing might have a bad impact, the staff member beside them received a call from the director and stepped forward to ask.

"What task cards?"

Song Wenjing, who still didn't know the rules, stepped forward. He was still debating which card to choose when a large hand reached over beside him, grabbed one at random, and its owner turned to leave.

"What are you doing?! We haven't even asked about the rules!"

"Opportunities are for smart people. A stupid toad like you can only follow a genius like me."

"I **********!"

[Nice clapper routine. Pretty loud.]

[Thanks for your hard work, crew. The machine must be smoking with how fast you're bleeping him out. You've got it rough. We honestly don't mind hearing it. Just work something out with the platform so the stream doesn't get banned.]

[So Song Wenjing's this good at doing clapper routines. He really isn't very smart, though. Fu Yanci at least knows to use foreign languages. Song Wenjing can only hold it in.]

[He hasn't been holding it in the whole time. Hasn't he started his clapper routine?]

In the end, the staff member gave Song Wenjing a rough explanation of the rules, and only then did he stop his tirade and focus entirely on the task.

Of course, before heading off to do the task, he didn't forget to change out of his somewhat cumbersome mascot costume along with Fu Yanci and put on sportswear that was easier to work in.