Ji Hanchuan was certain this time.
Shi Wei hadn't opened his mouth, yet he could still hear him speaking in his head.
...Saying some very nasty things!
But why?
Why could he hear him?
As Ji Hanchuan pondered this, his fingertips unconsciously stroked Shi Wei's smooth chin.
There was a thin callus on the pad of his index finger, and it tickled Shi Wei.
"Hubby?" Shi Wei grew increasingly bewildered under his gaze.
Ji Hanchuan came back to himself, released Shi Wei, and said flatly, "You can go."
What the hell was that about?
Feigning sorrow, Shi Wei wiped the completely dry corner of his eye and hung his head, looking utterly lost. "Then I'll..."
[Host, Ji Hanchuan has already stopped you. Given your devoted persona, you can't just leave so easily.]
Oh, for fuck's sake...
The system had given him another reason he couldn't refuse.
[Ji Hanchuan really hates your pestering. It might speed up the divorce.]
Shi Wei was instantly fired up. When he raised his head again, tears shimmered in his eyes. "Then what am I supposed to do? I can't even sleep without you."
"So you haven't slept for the past twenty years?"
"...I mean, ever since I met you, hubby, you've been on my mind day and night. I can't forget you." Shi Wei gazed at him devotedly. "My longing for you fills my mind, and my desire for your body burns away my reason... How could I possibly sleep?"
Ji Hanchuan: ...
Ji Hanchuan's voice was icy. "Then get some brain food. You can't have only two things in your head."
"Ha ha ha ha."
Shi Wei laughed awkwardly.
Is this bastard mocking me?
He definitely is! And I've already got the evidence!
"Hubby."
Shi Wei smiled, his smile bright and radiant, his fair, soft face flushed red and his eyes shy. "You grabbed me just now because you wanted to kiss me, didn't you? I knew it. I waited two years for you. You couldn't possibly be that heartless! My love and sincerity have finally moved you!"
Shi Wei rose onto his tiptoes, closed his eyes, and puckered his lips. "Kisses, hubby~~"
Ji Hanchuan made a tactical retreat.
He watched the person before him impassively, his lips curling into a cold smile.
Love? Sincerity?
Based on what he'd just heard, Shi Wei had not only questioned whether he was a man, but called him a bastard and threatened to beat him up.
"You love me?"
Hearing his scoff, Shi Wei opened his eyes, which held nothing but innocence and sincerity. "Yes. Even now, you're still doubting my feelings for you?"
Ji Hanchuan was as composed as if he were handling business. "If I remember correctly, today is the third time we've met."
"But every meeting left such a deep impression," Shi Wei said wistfully. "They're worth remembering for the rest of my life."
The first time, in bed.
The second time, getting married.
The third time, a sneak attack.
He wasn't wrong!
Wasn't that enough to remember for a lifetime?
Ji Hanchuan scoffed. "Then may I ask which meeting made you fall in love with me?"
Shi Wei froze.
He thought for two seconds and dredged up an answer even Ji Hanchuan couldn't refute.
Shi Wei looked at him innocently and ventured, "Love at first lay?"
Ji Hanchuan answered by slamming the door shut with a bang.
Shi Wei rubbed the tip of his nose, which had narrowly escaped being hit, and used the original owner's memories to find his room and get ready for bed.
Lying on the unfamiliar, enormous bed, he could finally sort out his thoughts.
The original owner was the younger cousin of the protagonist, Xu Xirui, a sea king. A stupid, arrogant supporting character, he'd made himself into Xu Xirui's foil. With Xu Xirui's everyone-loves-him golden finger thrown into the mix, the original owner was no match for him at all.
As for Ji Hanchuan, one of the big, fat fish in Xu Xirui's pond, after abandoning the original owner, he'd become a tool for advancing the relationship between the lead gong and shou, and met a miserable end himself.
Shi Wei rolled over on the soft bed. Having taken in too much information all at once, he was tired and drowsy.
Still, before he divorced Ji Hanchuan, there seemed to be another major problem waiting for him.
Shi Wei closed his eyes and snuggled deeper into the comfortable quilt, the corners of his mouth lifting.
This seemed like it would be fun...
The next day, Shi Wei got up especially early.
It took a great deal of resolve before he worked up the courage to enter the bathroom.
Ji Hanchuan hated the original owner so much. He probably wasn't much to look at...
Shi Wei faced the mirror and opened his eyes wide-
Holy shit!
He looked exactly like his old self, only even more exquisite.
His eyes were clear beneath long, curling lashes, his lips full and pink, and his skin fair and fine, without any of the fatigue caused by staying up late filming in his previous life.
Shi Wei was completely reassured, but another question immediately rose in his mind.
So was Ji Hanchuan blind?!
Ji Hanchuan sneezed several times as soon as he got up.
Coming out of his room, he heard a strange sound from the kitchen-
Smashing and crashing?
He quietly went over to look and saw Shi Wei gripping a cleaver in both hands, raising it above his head, and hacking viciously at the chives on the cutting board.
"What are you doing?"
Hearing him, Shi Wei turned around with the cleaver raised and looked at Ji Hanchuan in delighted surprise, his eyes gleaming with madness. "Hubby, you're awake! I'm making you breakfast. Are you happy?"
If the system hadn't threatened him, forcing him to conquer Ji Hanchuan's stomach, Shi Wei would never have bothered going to all this trouble to cook.
Still, he could take the opportunity to scare him.
Ji Hanchuan surveyed the kitchen.
A murder scene?
"Did the chives offend you?" Ji Hanchuan glanced at the chives, which were a horrific sight.
"Oh, stop it." Shi Wei's cheeks reddened. "The chives are to nourish your body, hubby. I bought ten jin online first thing this morning. You have to finish them all tonight."
Ten jin of chives?
Shi Wei gave Ji Hanchuan an "I understand" look. "You might've been tired last night, but you'll have to work hard tonight!"
...What do you mean by that?!
Ji Hanchuan lowered his gaze and happened to meet Shi Wei's eyes. Sure enough, he heard his thoughts again.
-I'm so damn good-looking, and you still don't want me. Here's hoping ten jin of chives can get your equipment working again.
Ji Hanchuan: ...
"Don't worry, hubby. I've prepared lots of dishes. Chive omelets, chive soup, chive dumplings, stir-fried kidneys with chives..." Shi Wei began listing the dishes, then suddenly looked up at him shyly. "If you don't like those, there's also me tossed with chives..."
"..." Ji Hanchuan pressed his thin lips together. "No, thank you. My tastes aren't that extreme."
"Then just toss me," Shi Wei said shyly.
"You're what I meant," Ji Hanchuan said.
Shi Wei: ...
His grip on the cleaver tightened.
"I have something to attend to. Tonight... I won't be back."
Only then did Shi Wei notice that Ji Hanchuan was dressed very formally. The dull dark gray gave him an air of maturity and composure, and his snow-white shirt was buttoned all the way to the top, its straight collar snug against his prominent Adam's apple.
Kind of... alpha!
Ji Hanchuan walked toward the door while adjusting his watch. Shi Wei chased after him with the cleaver. "Hubby, where are you going?"
"I have business." Ji Hanchuan didn't want to explain much to him.
Dressed that formally, he must be going to see a lawyer, right? He must be going to file for divorce!
"Can I come with you?" Shi Wei asked expectantly.
"No," Ji Hanchuan said bluntly.
"Hubby..."
Ji Hanchuan put on his gleaming leather shoes and turned to Shi Wei. "What do you want now?"
Shi Wei stretched out both arms for a hug, his voice affected and cutesy. "Where's my good-morning kissy?"
Ji Hanchuan's exit was both swift and dashing.
"Tch!" Shi Wei waved the cleaver in his hand, his voice rough. "Run any slower and I'll fucking chop you!"
Click.
The door opened again.
Ji Hanchuan's tall figure stood beneath the hallway light, radiating considerable pressure. His eyes narrowed slightly. "Chop me?"