Shi Wei froze on the spot.
[Host, your devoted persona is about to collapse. Please correct it immediately.]
"Or what?"
[Otherwise, you'll be the one corrected.]
Shi Wei: ...
He brandished the sharp kitchen knife and struck a pose. "If you're my brother, come cut me!"
Then he jumped to the opposite side and snarled at the spot where he had just stood. "Hmph! Don't run if you've got the guts! Once I catch you, this black iron kitchen knife is coming for you!"
"Ah! You actually dared to cut me? Wait till I pull out my AK."
"An AK? How dare you use a firearm!"
"Times have changed, dumbass!"
Ji Hanchuan leisurely watched his split-personality performance as he bounced back and forth.
Shi Wei forced a sincere smile.
Following the timeless wisdom of "as long as I'm not embarrassed, someone else will be," he started swinging the kitchen knife again, twirling it like a sword.
"Hubby, how was my delivery of those ad lines? I've been thinking of auditioning for an endorsement with an online gaming company. I might not measure up to a top star like you yet, but I'll work really hard to catch up to you, hubby!"
Nice! Not only did I save face, I even got in some flattery.
Shi Wei blinked his pretty eyes expectantly.
Ji Hanchuan happened to look straight into them.
-Buddy, you'd better know what's good for you. If you embarrass me, I have no! idea! how those ten pounds of chives I bought might end up stuffed into your stomach!
Ji Hanchuan: ...
When he looked at Shi Wei again, he still wore that sweet, loving expression, waiting to be praised.
What did it mean to be all kisses on the surface and all sneers inside?
If he couldn't hear Shi Wei's real thoughts, how would he have known that this idiot's head was full of disdain for him, insults, and even the desire to beat him up?
Ji Hanchuan looked at him darkly. "Wrong weapon, but the sword flourish was good."
He found the car keys he had left behind and went out again.
Shi Wei breathed a sigh of relief, casually grabbed an apple, and started munching.
[Congratulations, host. Your persona didn't collapse, but be careful next time too.]
"Is this divorce you mentioned actually happening today?"
[I'm not sure about that either. From here on, it all depends on your efforts, host.]
Shi Wei: ...
Talk about false advertising. They lure you in, then turn around and say they don't know and aren't sure.
Since Ji Hanchuan wouldn't be coming back tonight, he didn't need to keep pretending.
Shi Wei quickly tidied the kitchen, made himself an exquisite breakfast, and dug out his phone to go online.
He had to find out what was happening in this world.
Fortunately, this world wasn't any different from his original one.
I wonder how good the original owner was at his job.
Shi Wei went straight to Baidu.
Before he could tap search, a push notification unexpectedly popped up on his phone.
#ShiWeiGetOutHereAndApologize!
Shi Wei: ...
After a brief pause, Shi Wei's lips curved upward, and he opened the most popular video under the topic.
The video began with surveillance footage shot from some distance away, but he could still make out that one of the people was Shi Wei and the other was Xu Xirui. There was no telling what they had discussed, but Shi Wei looked somewhat aggressive.
Just as Shi Wei turned to leave, Xu Xirui fell into the pond. Not only did Shi Wei fail to save him, he stood on the bank watching Xu Xirui flail in the water, with even a hint of schadenfreude at the corner of his mouth.
The clickbait account shouted in an exaggerated voice, "Guys, this has seriously shattered my worldview! Did you see that? This flop called Shi Wei actually pushed Xu Xirui into the water on a variety show! Not only did he refuse to save him, he was even smiling!"
The image switched to a screenshot of Xu Xirui's post, calling on his fans not to cyberbully Shi Wei and saying it wasn't Shi Wei's fault.
"Can we stand for this? The person who was pushed into the water is actually defending the culprit! Guys, get '#ShiWeiGetOutHereAndApologize!' trending!"
Only Xu Xirui's handsome face remained on the screen.
"So this is Xu Xirui, the player protagonist."
[Yes.]
Holding his phone, Shi Wei's long, narrow eyes took on a smile. He went back to his room, found his computer, and got to work with practiced ease.
"Who would've thought the water army in this world did business the same way..." Shi Wei murmured.
[What are you doing?]
"Smearing myself." Shi Wei came up with a few bland pieces of "dirt" and sent them to the water army boss.
"Shocking! The untold secret between Shi Wei and the cafeteria lady!"
"Shi Wei is better-looking than Xu Xirui-suspected plastic surgery."
"What made such god-tier looks sink this low?"
The system couldn't understand.
This operation had already exceeded its comprehension as a system.
But it did know one fact-
[You don't seem to have the money to pay the water army.]
Shi Wei's fingers abruptly paused over the keyboard, but then resumed typing. "It's fine. Send Xu Xirui the bill. I'm sure he won't mind."
"Oh my gosh, it turns out Shi Wei's secret crush is Ji Hanchuan!" Shi Wei had the water army focus on spreading this rumor.
[What are you trying to do now?]
"Clout-chasing!"
Shi Wei understood all too well. In this industry, what people feared most was getting dragged into trouble out of nowhere, especially a favored son of heaven like Ji Hanchuan, a top star who kept himself above the fray.
If a scandal-ridden little flop like Shi Wei tried to leech off him, Ji Hanchuan would definitely get angry, and once he was angry, he would get a divorce.
Shi Wei's little abacus was clacking away, but to his surprise, the water army boss turned him down.
The water army boss: "Great God Ji? That costs extra."
Shi Wei was perfectly calm. "How much?"
The water army boss: "A hundred times the price, and we can only say Shi Wei accidentally bumped into Ji Hanchuan. Nothing beyond that."
Shi Wei was stunned. "???"
Shi Wei was very imaginative when it came to smearing himself. "A hundred times the price, and that's all I get? If it were someone else, Shi Wei would already be pregnant and have given birth!"
The water army boss: "..."
The water army boss: "If it were someone else, Shi Wei wouldn't just be pregnant and have given birth, he'd already be on his third kid. But this is Great God Ji. If you don't mind his fans beating you to death, go ahead and post it."
Shi Wei fell silent.
Ji Hanchuan's fans really were formidable fighters.
He could only settle for the next best thing.
The water army boss logged off after taking the assignment.
Shi Wei lazed around at home until evening, when someone saved as Brother Bei called.
This was the original owner's manager. Shi Wei had barely answered before Ma Xianbei's roar bombarded his ears.
"Shi Wei! What the hell have you been doing now? You've gone and landed us in such huge trouble!"
"Brother Bei..."
"Hurry up and apologize to Xu Xirui. The higher-ups have issued an ultimatum. If you don't behave, they'll freeze you out."
Hearing Ma Xianbei's words, Shi Wei's beautifully shaped lips curled upward, his expression bright and animated. "Apologizing is out of the question."
"What!" Ma Xianbei's voice rose in anger. "If they freeze you out, your career is over. It's just an apology. A real man knows when to bend and when to stand tall. Just bear with it, and it'll pass."
"Brother Bei." Shi Wei stroked the smooth surface of his computer with his fingers and said quietly, "Do you think I pushed him too?"
Ma Xianbei immediately perked up. "Could the video be..."
"The video is real."
"Then that settles it." Ma Xianbei took a deep breath. "Go apologize to Xu Xirui right now. If you don't, I'm bringing my eighty-something mother and my three-year-old daughter to your place tomorrow!"
Shi Wei: "Your mother's coming to cook for me, and your daughter's coming to act cute for me?"
Ma Xianbei: ...