It was April.
Even though he was already a superhero with a million fans, he still had to fucking go to school.
He really hated this place sometimes.
He walked through the school gates on Monday morning and sighed in irritation. Looking up, he spotted Harry and Flash chatting up some cheerleaders, with Liz and Mary Jane glaring at them from the other end of the hall.
He remembered that Liz and Mary Jane had finally broken up with those two idiots.
"Look at those two." Liz glared viciously at Flash.
"Forget it, Liz." Mary Jane shut her locker and sighed. "They're not worth it."
"They really aren't." Felicia suddenly walked up beside them.
Since Liz and Mary Jane had dumped those two morons, Felicia had decided to try making friends over the past month. Winning Liz over was actually pretty easy. All it took was talking fashion and putting Flash in his place in public a few times.
"Hey, girls." Peter waved at them.
"Hey, Peter." Mary Jane smiled.
"What do you want, Parker?" Liz snorted.
Yep, she still didn't like him. Go figure.
"To say hello to my awesome girlfriend." Peter turned to Felicia and pressed a loving kiss to her cheek. "Doing okay, kitten?"
"Fantastic, Laohu," Felicia said with a smile. "Liz and Mary Jane were just planning to get back at their exes by dumping itching powder down their pants later today."
"Hey! I told you that in confidence!" Liz cried.
"Relax, Liz. Any plan that makes Osborn and Flash miserable has my full support. Need a hand?"
Liz raised an eyebrow. "You'd help?"
Peter nodded. "Yeah, I could mix up some extra-strength itching powder for you. Hmm... or maybe an aerosol solution, a spray. That should work. It'd seep into their skin so they couldn't even wash it off." His brain automatically got to work, putting together a formula.
"Peter? Peter? Are you okay?" Mary Jane asked worriedly.
"He's fine. Just let him zone out for a bit, Red." Felicia shrugged. "He gets like this whenever a new project pops into his head... distracted."
"Does he do this a lot?" Liz asked.
"You have no idea." Felicia sighed mournfully. "One night, we were on top of the Empire State Building, and things were getting really romantic, when he suddenly just zoned out! Right there!"
"Wait, on top of the Empire State Building?" Suspicion crept into Mary Jane's voice.
"Oh, my mom got us passes. Special insider ones," Felicia quickly lied. "So... yeah."
"Wow, that's so cool!" Liz's eyes lit up. "Could your mom get us some too?"
"Well... it was a one-time favor... I'll ask her later." Felicia brushed it off.
"Got it!" Peter's sudden shout made all three girls jump. He immediately pulled out his notebook and wrote down the formula. "Liz, are you sure you want to make them itch until they go crazy?"
"No shit." Liz stared curiously at the chemical equations covering his notebook.
"Then Osborn and Flash had better get ready for itching hell!" Peter grinned. "I can have it ready before lunch! See you then, girls!" With that, he raced off to his first class, chemistry.
"Felicia, sometimes I really envy you for having such a devoted boyfriend," Liz said flatly. "But other times... he's such a nerd."
"Tell me about it. But he's my nerd." Felicia smiled smugly, and the three went their separate ways to class.
At lunchtime, Peter quickly finished the itching spray and met up with the girls.
Felicia kissed his cheek. "Hey, Laohu. What have you got there?"
He proudly held up a little spray bottle. "Behold, itching spray! Twice the itch, three times harder to wash off! The ultimate weapon for making your ex's life unbearable! Or pranking school bullies!"
Liz raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Wow. That was fast."
"Of course!" Peter grinned. "That's how awesome I am."
"So when are you two planning to do it?" Felicia asked.
"Haven't decided." Mary Jane shrugged. "Honestly, I'm not sure I can be bothered."
"No! We have to!" Liz glared viciously at Flash, who was flirting with a blonde cheerleader who looked remarkably like her. "It's totally worth it."
"Fine, okay. But not today. We have Spanish homework to do with Jean," Mary Jane sighed.
"Oh... right. Forgot about that." Liz deflated a little. "Fine. We'll make their lives hell tomorrow."
"You might need something nastier. Itching powder is only really... harassment-level stuff." Felicia shrugged.
"What would you do?" Liz asked.
"You mean what would I do to Peter if he dared cheat on me?" Felicia asked. Liz nodded.
Felicia smiled. "He wouldn't."
"How can you be so sure?" Mary Jane asked curiously.
"Simple," Peter cut in, looking so smug he was practically asking to be punched. "I'm just that perfect."
Felicia rolled her eyes. "No, because if you did, I'd tell the whole world your secrets."
Peter's eyes widened. "You wouldn't... holy shit, you're serious. All of them?"
Felicia nodded. "All of them."
Peter swallowed. "Okay, kitten. That's ruthless."
"Yep, so you'd better not even think about it, mister." She kissed his cheek. "You're all mine."
"Wait, wait, wait. What secrets? What dirty secrets could Parker possibly have?" Liz pressed.
"They're called secrets for a reason, Liz." Peter rolled his eyes.
"He's right." Felicia smiled in agreement. "So unless he does something unforgivably stupid, my lips stay sealed."
Liz sighed. "Ugh, I hate you two. You're so perfect it's annoying."
"Thanks for the compliment," Peter and Felicia said in unison.
Mary Jane burst out laughing while Liz kept grumbling beside her.
After school, Liz drove the four of them home in the car she had gotten for her birthday. Ever since she'd gotten it, she'd shown it off to everyone she met.
When they reached her house, all four got out.
"Are you coming in?" Mary Jane asked, pointing toward her own house.
"No, Aunt May and Uncle Ben are waiting for me," Peter declined. "I figured Felicia should spend some more time with them too."
"Bringing girls home already, Parker?" Liz raised an eyebrow. "Don't you think you're moving a little fast?"
"What are you talking about? I met them months ago." Felicia laughed.
"What?!" Mary Jane and Liz cried together.
"Yeah, sometime in January, right, kitten?"
"Yeah, I think so." Felicia nodded.
"Oh my God." Liz's eyes widened before she suddenly grinned wickedly. "When's the wedding?"
Peter and Felicia both blushed.
"Ahem, don't you have something to do?" Peter stammered, trying to change the subject.
"Come on, Liz. Stop teasing them." Mary Jane tried to pull her away, though a teasing smile lingered on her face.
"But Mary Jane! I want to tease them some more!"
"I never said we couldn't do it again later," Mary Jane said. "Let them catch their breath first. Besides, we really need to finish our homework. Jean will be here soon."
Liz rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine. Stupid Spanish report. See you two later! Parker, don't knock her up!"
Felicia sighed deeply. "God, she's relentless."
Peter laughed and took her hand. "Tell me about it. Come on, kitten."
The two returned home, and Peter unlocked the door with his spare key and ushered Felicia inside.
Felicia looked around and found the house empty, without a soul in sight.
"Laohu, are your aunt and uncle out?"
"Yeah, they went upstate for a friend's wedding." Peter tossed his bag aside, pushed Felicia straight onto the couch, and climbed on top of her. "So it's just you and me."
The surprise in Felicia's eyes quickly turned into burning desire, and the scent of maple syrup filled his nose.
"So, Mr. Parker, what do you have planned for today?"
"Miss Hardy, I have just one plan." He leaned down to whisper in her ear. "To send you home covered in my marks."
"Sounds like fun." Felicia grinned, grabbed his jacket collar, pulled him down, and bit his neck. "Let me start."
"In your dreams!" Peter hissed, his palm firmly cupping her bottom as he bit down precisely on her breast through her clothes. Judging by her sharp gasp, he had found the right spot. He grinned and continued his conquest.
They quickly stripped off each other's clothes. Before long, Peter was shirtless.
"Upstairs?" Peter asked.
"Yeah, the couch really isn't the place for this." Felicia agreed, reaching for the button of his jeans. "You know, when I tell the girls about you, they don't believe me."
"Huh? What did you tell them?"
"I told them how big you are." Felicia grinned wickedly, hooking her fingers into his waistband and slowly pulling it down, her fingertips barely brushing the edge of his underwear. "And how you turn into a different person in bed, like a starving little beast, nothing like your usual calm, reserved self."
"I'm not that-" Before Peter could finish, the front door was suddenly flung open, and several people barged in.
"Peter! We need your help!" Mary Jane's voice was frantic and hurried.
Peter and Felicia looked up together.
Mary Jane and Liz stumbled inside, supporting a red-haired girl between them. The girl was a good bit shorter than they were, her shoulders hunched, looking hurt and frightened as she clutched her head with both hands.
"What's going-" Mary Jane stopped halfway through her sentence when she saw the two on the couch and screamed, "Peter! What are you two doing?!"
Peter gritted his teeth. "I was trying to make out with my girlfriend." He glared at them. "Then we got interrupted."
"Trying being the key word." Felicia sighed, grabbing her shirt and buttoning it up. "What are you doing here?"
"We need your help." Liz supported the red-haired girl. "Jean suddenly got a headache, and it won't stop! We don't know what to do!"
Peter raised an eyebrow. "Did you call an ambulance?"
"No, Peter, something's wrong." Mary Jane's voice was almost pleading. "She says there are people talking in her head... and... things are moving."
"Moving? How?"
"It fucking floated!" Liz shouted, abandoning all decorum. "All by itself! I think she might be possessed or something!"