Bai Haorui breathed a sigh of relief and collapsed on the ground, covering his bleeding arm, his face as pale as paper. Sam immediately ran over, took out the mugwort ointment he had brought with him, and carefully applied it on his wound.
"Let's go quickly." Bai Haorui gasped, "Hurry back and see how Dean is doing."
The two of them rushed back to the temporary camp, only to see that the talisman light on Dean's forehead was still dim. His brows were furrowed and he was mumbling words, as if he was suffering from great pain, and fine cold sweat was oozing out from his forehead.
Bai Haorui squatted down and gently stroked Five Emperor Coins on Dean's belt buckle. The temperature of the copper coins was very low. His voice was hoarse with a hint of prayer. "Dean, I know you are reluctant to part with it, but everything in the illusion is false. The real us are waiting for you to come back."
Sam held Dean's hand, which was cold to the bone. He looked at Dean's face with mixed feelings in his heart.
The most difficult level must be passed by Dean himself.
Dean drove the Impala aimlessly on the highway. The scenery outside the car window flew by, the sun was shining brightly, and the green grass was green, but none of this could enter his eyes. He held the ancient book in his hand, the pages were soaked with sweat, and the words on it were like a soldering iron, burning his hands and burning his heart.
He parked the car outside a cemetery and walked in.
John's tombstone stands deep in the cemetery, surrounded by green grass. The tombstone is engraved with the four characters "Beloved John" and a line of small characters engraved next to it. "He spent his whole life guarding his family." Dean sat in front of the tombstone, took out a bottle of beer, unscrewed the cap, and poured it on the ground. The beer seeped into the soil and made a slight sound.
"Dad." His voice was hoarse and nasally, "I really want to stay."
Stay in this world with mother, Sam, and Bai Haorui. There is no monster hunting, no death, and no endless responsibilities. There is Cherry Pie made by mother, there is sunshine, and everything he dreams of. In this world, he does not have to worry every day, does not have to watch the people around him leave one by one, and does not have to bear the burden of revenge.
"There is a mother here. She is still alive. She will make breakfast for me, rub my hair, and call me a slacker with a smile." Dean took a sip of beer, tears fell down, mixed with the beer and swallowed into his stomach, which was so bitter, "Sam was admitted to the law school of Stanford, he will be like Jessica gets married and will have a decent job and live an ordinary life. He will no longer follow me around and face those terrible things. Haorui is also very good. He runs a car repair shop and will repair cars with me, drink together, and brag together. He will no longer follow us through life and death, and he will no longer be injured."
He looked at the photo of John on the tombstone. John in the photo had firm eyes and a smile on the corner of his mouth, exactly as he looked in his memory.
"Is Mom worth living? Worth it." Dean wiped away tears, his eyes full of pain, like a knife, cutting repeatedly in his heart, "But aren't those people worth it? They are worth it. Like Mom, they are all living people and have the right to live."
The sound of footsteps came from behind, very light, making a rustling sound on the grass.
Dean didn't look back, he knew who it was.
Bai Haorui sat next to him, took out a bottle of beer, unscrewed the cap, and took a sip. The bubbles of beer exploded in his mouth, with a slight bitterness. He looked at Dean, his eyes full of worry, just like countless times in reality, but without the sharpness of a demon hunter.
"Don't think about it, Dean." His voice was very soft, like a gust of wind, "Those people have nothing to do with you, you just need to live your own life. Mom is waiting for you to come home, Carmen is waiting for you, and Sam and I are waiting for you. We will be together forever and will never be separated."
Dean turned his head and looked at him. The Bai Haorui in front of him was exactly the same as in reality, with a smile on his face, a hard mouth and a soft heart. He was wearing his favorite black jacket, his hair was messy, and he had a bit of a scornful air. But in his eyes, there was no wind and frost on the demon hunting journey, no tacit understanding of fighting side by side, only a blankness, a blankness that belonged to ordinary people.
Dean asked suddenly, his voice was very soft, but with a hint of extravagant hope, a hint of knowingly asking, "Do you remember? Last year in Kansas, we were surrounded by a group of vampires. What did you do?"
Bai Haorui was stunned. He frowned and tried to remember. His frown became tighter and tighter, but the confusion in his eyes became deeper and deeper. "Kansas? Vampire?" He shook his head, his tone full of confusion, "Dean, what are you talking about? We have never been there, and we have never encountered any vampires."
Dean's heart was completely broken, broken into countless pieces, and could never be put back together again.
The real Bai Haorui will pat him on the shoulder, smile triumphantly, and say, "My ink fountain line is much easier to use than your knife."; he will fight his way through the sea of fire with him, covered in blood, but smile. He acts like a lunatic; when he is injured, he will curse and apply medicine on him, saying, "Can you be more careful?" with quick movements of his hands; when he is confused, he will wake him up with words and say, "Let go of your thoughts and you will feel at ease."
The person in front of me is just a shadow without a past, a perfect lie.
"You are not him." Dean's voice was very soft, but with unquestionable firmness, like a knife, piercing this perfect illusion.
Bai Haorui's face changed. He grabbed Dean's arm with great force and a hint of unnoticeable panic. "I am Haorui! Dean, what's wrong with you? We are brothers! We grew up together, skipped classes together, repaired cars together, and..."
"No." Dean broke away from his hand, stood up, took two steps back, and looked at him, his eyes full of pain, but extremely sober, "You are not. My brother, you will bleed with me, fight together, and give your back to each other. My brother., will not watch innocent people die, and say that it has nothing to do with us. My brother, his name is Bai Haorui, he is a Daoist warlock, he can draw talismans, use ink fountain lines, and use Five Emperor Coins. He is not your shadow who can only repair cars."
The wind blew through the cemetery, bringing with it a biting chill, like the screams of those innocent people, which penetrated into Dean's ears and into his heart.
Dean looked at the photo of John on the tombstone, and remembered his father's teachings, the way his father looked at him before he died, and what his father said, "Take good care of Sam". I remembered every bit of the demon hunting journey, the look in Sam's eyes, the back of Bai Haorui, and the smiles on the faces of those who were saved by them.
He remembered what Bai Haorui said in reality, the words with Daoist wisdom, the words that woke him up. "Let go of one thought, and you will feel at ease."
What he let go of was not his mother, the desire, or the regret buried deep in his heart.
What he let go of was his obsession and the cowardice that he wanted to escape from.
What he shouldered was the responsibility of the hunter, the mission to protect the innocent, and the determination to fight side by side with Sam and Bai Haorui.
"Dad." Dean bowed solemnly to the tombstone, tears falling again, but with a hint of relief, "I'm leaving. Take good care of mom for me."
He turned around and strode out of the cemetery with firm steps and no hesitation.
The sun shone on his back, but it carried a decisive power, like a new life.
But in the real temporary camp, Bai Haorui suddenly felt that Five Emperor Coins on his fingertips suddenly felt hot, shockingly hot. He looked up and saw the talisman light on Dean's forehead suddenly lit up, and the golden light illuminated the entire camp.
"He responded!" Bai Haorui grabbed Sam's arm excitedly, his voice was trembling, and tears almost fell.
Sam stood up suddenly and looked at Dean. Dean's fingers moved, his brows furrowed even more tightly, and he muttered two names, blurry, but clear enough, like two lights, illuminating their eyes.
"Sam...Haorui..."
Sam's eyes turned red instantly. He held Dean's hand tightly, his voice choked with sobs, but with a hint of ecstasy. "Dean, wake up! We are waiting for you!"
He knows that Dean is struggling and Dean is coming back.
Dean When I returned to the old house, the living room was brightly lit, and the warm light shone on the floor, bright and heart-warming.
Mary stood in the center of the living room, wearing that light blue apron, with a gentle smile on his face, like he had done countless times. Carmen and Jessica stood beside her, the former holding her arm, and the latter holding his hand. He was holding a magazine and had a sweet smile. Sam and Bai Haorui were also there. The former was sitting on the sofa, flipping through the law school admissions brochure, and the latter was leaning on the door frame, playing with the bunch of ordinary copper coins in his hand, looking at him with a gentle smile.
They all had gentle smiles on their faces, looking at him as if they were waiting for his return, as if they were waiting for him to stay in this world forever.
"Dean, come back." Mary stretched out his hand, his voice so gentle that it could drip, like a pair of hands, trying to pull him into this gentle trap, "Here is everything you want, a warm home, people who love you, there will never be pain, and there will never be death."
"Yes, Dean." Carmen also stretched out his hand, his eyes full of expectation, "We will go to the beach and never be separated. I will make breakfast for you, repair your car with you, and watch the stars with you."
"Brother." Sam put down the admission brochure and stood up, his eyes full of pleading, "Stay, let's live an ordinary life together. I will study hard and marry Jessica, so that you and your mother can live a good life."
Bai Haorui also came over and patted his shoulder, his tone full of sincerity. "Dean, stay. The three of us will always be brothers and will never be separated."
A perfect picture, a perfect lie, like a net, trying to trap him in it for a lifetime.
Dean's footsteps paused. He looked at the person in front of him. His heart seemed to be clenched by an invisible hand, and he was so painful that he couldn't breathe. He wanted to rush over, hug Mary, hug Sam, hug Bai Haorui. He wanted to stay in this world forever, and he wanted to never have to face those dark things again.
But he can't.
He thought of those innocent people who died, their empty eyes, their families, and their dreams. He thought of Sam in reality, his anxious eyes, and his clenched hands. He thought of Bai Haorui in reality.
He turned around and rushed into the kitchen.
He remembered that there was a silver fruit knife in Mary's drawer. It was Mary's favorite knife and was used to cut fruits and cakes.
Silverware is Zhenni's nemesis and the weapon that cuts off his obsession.
He took out the silver knife and held it in his hand. The cold feeling spread from his fingertips to his heart, making him extremely awake.
There were footsteps behind them, and Sam and Bai Haorui chased in. The smiles on their faces disappeared, replaced by a hint of panic.
"Dean, what are you going to do?" Sam frowned and blocked his way, his eyes full of confusion, "Mom will be sad."
Bai Haorui also took his arm, his tone full of anxiety. "Dean, stop making trouble. Put down the knife."
Dean looked at them, his eyes full of pain, but extremely determined, like a star, burning itself and illuminating the darkness.
"You are not my brothers." Dean's voice was hoarse, but it carried a tearing power, like a knife, piercing this perfect illusion, "The real Sam will carry a gun with me, face the darkness together, and fight a way through the sea of fire together. The real Bai Haorui will exercise with me, hunt monsters together, and give each other's back in the moment of life and death."
He paused, looked at the two people in front of him, looked at this perfect world, and said word by word, "This is not life, this is a lie."
Before he finished speaking, the surrounding scene began to distort, like a broken mirror. Mary's smile became ferocious, and the faces of Carmen and Jessica began to Blurred, turned into pale faces, the faces of those innocent people who died. The figures of Sam and Bai Haorui also shook, turning into black shadows, like Zhenni's shadow.
"Stay!" Mary roared, his voice no longer gentle, becoming sharp and harsh, like a screaming beast, "You can't leave! You belong here!"
"Dean, don't leave!" Bai Haorui's voice was crying, like a child trying to keep his toy.
"Brother, stay!" Sam's eyes were full of pleading, like a rope, trying to tie him to this world.
Those pictures impacted Dean's will like a tide. His hand holding the silver knife was shaking, and tears fell down and hit the knife, making a crisp sound. Mary's gentle smile flashed before his eyes, and the smiling faces of Sam and Bai Haorui flashed past. Those beautiful pictures flashed past, and those days he dreamed of flashed past.
"I'm sorry, Mom." Dean choked, closing her eyes, tears falling from the corners of her eyes, "I can't stay."
He suddenly raised the silver knife and stabbed himself in the chest.
The moment the silver instrument penetrated the flesh, there was no pain, only a sense of relief.
The illusion suddenly collapsed.
Mary's roar, Carmen's plea, Sam's eyes, and Bai Haorui's cry, all turned into fragments and dissipated in the air. The dazzling sunlight disappeared, the sweet fragrance of Cherry Pie disappeared, the warm old house disappeared, and all the beautiful things disappeared.
Instead, there was the hard bed of the motel, the moonlight outside the window, and the two familiar breathing sounds beside me.
Dean opened his eyes suddenly, coughed violently, and felt a dull pain in his chest, but with a sense of relief that he had survived a disaster. He gasped for air, like a drowning man, and finally surfaced.
He turned his head and saw Sam lying beside the bed, with red eyes and bloodshot eyes, green stubble on his chin, looking exhausted. Bai Haorui was sitting on the chair next to him, with a bandage on his arm, and a trace of blood seeping from the bandage. He was looking at him with a tired smile on his lips, but his eyes were full of ecstasy.
"Welcome back, bastard." Sam's voice was hoarse and choked. He stretched out his hand and patted Dean's shoulder gently.
Bai Haorui handed over a bottle of water, raised his eyebrows and said with a smile, "If you don't wake up, I will eat all the chocolates you hide in the trunk."
Dean looked at them, looked at the familiar motel, looked at the moonlight outside the window, looked at the silver knife still clutched in his hand - it was the silver knife in the illusion, and at some point, it followed him back to reality.
He smiled, but tears fell down, like broken beads.
He reached out and hugged Sam and Bai Haorui, hugging them tightly, as if he wanted to rub them into his own bones and blood.
"I'm back." Dean's voice was hoarse, but it carried a hint of relief and a hint of new strength.
It was dark at night, and the lights in the motel room were dim, but there was a hint of warmth. Three people sat around a small table. On the table were several bottles of beer, a few bags of potato chips, and a half-piece of Cherry Pie--Bai Haorui bought it out and heated it up in the hotel's microwave, exuding an alluring aroma.
The beer bottles clinked together, making a crisp sound that echoed in the silent night, dispelling the fatigue and anxiety of the past few days.
Dean leaned on the chair and took a sip of beer. The cold liquid slid down his throat, with a slight bitterness, but it made him extremely sober. He looked at Sam with a smile on his lips, but his eyes were full of tenderness. "In that world, my mother was alive and cooked breakfast for me every day. Cherry Pie made it particularly delicious."
He paused, looked at the law school admissions brochure in Sam's hand, and smiled, "You are a top student in the law school. You hold these books every day and your eyes are almost glued to them. You also said that after graduation, you want to be a lawyer, you want to marry Jessica, and you want your mother to live a good life."
Sam raised his eyebrows, took a sip of beer, and said with a hint of ridicule, "Sounds good. Then am I particularly annoyed? I talk about you every day and ask you to find a serious job and stop causing trouble all day long?"
"It's so annoying." Dean cursed with a smile, turned to look at Bai Haorui, with a joking look in his eyes, "And you, you are a car mechanic, you opened a car repair shop, your name is 'Haorui Auto Repair'. You repair cars every day, your hands are stained with oil, your hair is messy, and you are always fighting for Cherry Pie from me."
He paused and added, his tone full of nostalgia. "You don't know how to draw symbols, use ink fountain lines, or use Five Emperor Coins. You are just an ordinary car mechanic, skipping classes with me, racing together, and bragging together."
Bai Haorui was playing with the Five Emperor Coins in his hand, and the copper coins were spinning on his fingertips, making a tiny sound. He rolled his eyes, his tone full of dissatisfaction, but with a hint of a smile, "In your heart, I am just a car repair shop owner, robbing you Cherry Pie?"
"Otherwise?" Dean raised his eyebrows, deliberately teasing him, "Could it be that he only eats Cherry Pie?"
Bai Haorui reached out to grab the beer bottle from Dean's hand. Sam stopped him with a smile. The three of them made a fuss, and the laughter echoed in the room, warm and bright.
After laughing enough, Dean put down the beer bottle, and his eyes gradually became serious. He looked at Sam and Bai Haorui, and his voice was very soft, but with a heavy power. "In that world, the three of us had a very good relationship. We grew up together, played together, and spent many beautiful days together."
He paused, looked into their eyes, and said word by word, "But we are just friends, each living our own lives. You are busy with your law school, he is busy with his car repair shop, and I am busy with my dates. We will drink together and chat together, but we will not carry guns together, face the darkness together, and give each other our backs at the moment of life and death."
There was a hint of relief and a hint of joy in his voice. "We are not brothers."
They are not the kind of brothers who can live and die together, fight side by side, support and protect each other in this cruel world.
Bai Haorui put away his joking expression, and turned Five Emperor Coins around. His voice was calm, but with a hint of tenderness. "Why, you have to hang out with me every day, hunt monsters together, and go through life and death together?"
Dean smiled, raised the beer bottle, his eyes were full of determination, full of joy, and full of expectations for the future. "Stop farting, I am taking you."
Sam and Bai Haorui also raised their beer bottles, and the three bottles collided together again, making a crisp sound, like an oath or an agreement.
"Respect us." Sam said, his voice full of tenderness.
"Respect the will of Dean" said Bai Haorui.
Dean looked at them, looked at the two brothers who could be trusted with their lives, looked at the dim lights, looked at Cherry Pie on the table, and suddenly felt at ease, like a seed that had been wandering for a long time and finally found the soil to take root.
He may not have a perfect family, an ordinary life, Cherry Pie and sunshine, or that warm old house.
But he has Sam, he has Bai Haorui, he has the Impala, he has every bit of the journey of hunting monsters, he has the blood we shed together, the nights we spent together, and the people we guarded together.
Having these is enough.
The moonlight from the window shone in, illuminating the faces of the three people, the smiles in their eyes, and the unbreakable bond between them. Dean looked at the moonlight and thought of Mary in the fantasy, her gentle smile, and her last roar.
He knew that he would always miss that world, the living Mary, and those warm, pain-free days.
But he knows better that he belongs here, in this real world full of blood and tears, but also full of bonds and warmth, in this world with Sam and Bai Haorui.