A Colossal Misunderstanding

Ning Shu froze, her heart quietly pounding like a drum. What is going on...?

She remembered holding hands the last time they went into the jungle together, too. Why hadn't she felt this way then?

Could I... have fallen for this guy? No way...

Ning Shu followed Lu Zhe into the jungle, stumbling over the uneven ground, her heart in turmoil!

The jungle here was difficult to navigate, and Lu Zhe took every step with utmost care to keep them safe!

He beat the grass ahead with a branch, driving away resting venomous insects and snakes before they reached them!

And along the way through the jungle, Lu Zhe also found something good!

He spotted a shrub bearing little red fruits. When he held one in his hand, information appeared in his mind!

Wild raspberries!

Lu Zhe was overjoyed!

These were sweet-and-sour berries. Although their taste was nothing special, they stimulated saliva, quenched thirst, cleared heat, and expelled toxins!

They were excellent wild fruit!

He and Ning Shu picked a small bagful and ate several each!

After they walked a little farther in, trouble struck! Ning Shu suddenly clutched her stomach as the urge to use the toilet came over her!

"Damn it, of all times..."

"What's wrong, Class Monitor?"

"I..." Ning Shu gave an awkward smile. "I kind of need to use the toilet!"

Lu Zhe looked around and nodded. "Just do it here. I'll turn around!"

"No, that won't work!"

"Why not?"

Ning Shu's face flushed red as she said with great embarrassment, "It's... number two!"

"Number two?" Lu Zhe exclaimed delightedly. "My god, are the melon seeds finally about to make their grand entrance into the world?"

Ning Shu punched Lu Zhe. "Don't mention the seeds. Wait here. I'll find somewhere myself!"

As she spoke, she looked around for somewhere sheltered!

Lu Zhe found a protruding rock and inspected it. There were no signs of venomous snakes or insects having been there. "This spot is pretty good!"

Ning Shu looked, then gave Lu Zhe a push. "All right! Shoo, shoo, stay away from me. I'll deal with the seeds and everything myself!"

"Okay, okay, I'm going!"

"Hey, you... don't go too far!"

"Sure, I'll stay where you can see me. Call if you need anything!"

"No turning around!"

"I'm not that bored!"

Lu Zhe examined the plants nearby, checking for edible wild vegetables and medicinal herbs!

Before long, Ning Shu let out a long breath!

"All done!"

Just as she was about to pull up her pants, she discovered a terrifying problem!

I'm screwed!

I didn't bring tissues!

Right, Lu Zhe has the notebook!

I'll tear out a couple of pages and make do!

"Hey, Lu Zhe!"

"What is it?"

"You... tear two clean pages out of my notebook..."

She thought this was a perfectly reasonable request, but to her surprise, Lu Zhe immediately refused:

"No!"

Lu Zhe's explanation was, "Every page in that diary is an extremely important, nonrenewable resource right now. We can record lots of important information on them. How could I let you wipe your butt with them!?"

Ning Shu sounded close to tears. "Then what am I supposed to do...?"

Lu Zhe offered a simple, blunt solution. "Easy! Don't wipe. Just pull your pants up! Wash off at the beach later!"

Ning Shu snapped, "Lu Zhe, you're deliberately trying to make a fool of me, aren't you!"

Lu Zhe answered calmly and composedly, "No. I'm suggesting the safest, most reasonable, most scientific approach!"

"Fine! You've really gone too far!" Ning Shu nodded. "I'll figure something out myself!"

Something suddenly occurred to Lu Zhe, and he warned her, "Class Monitor, I suggest you don't try anything, especially not wiping with leaves. Pull your pants up and come out right now!"

"No need to trouble yourself!"

Ning Shu came out carrying a small plastic bag tied tightly shut!

"Done!"

Lu Zhe caught her wrist. "Did you wipe or not?"

Ning Shu raised her eyebrows. "None of your business!"

With that, Ning Shu started farther into the jungle, but after two steps, she felt an unbearable itch at the tops of her thighs!

"Ah..."

She wanted to scratch, but worried that doing so would damage her image as a girl too much!

Yet forcing herself to endure it was terribly uncomfortable!

Just then, Lu Zhe noticed. "You wiped with leaves, didn't you!"

Ning Shu said, "I'm a girl! I couldn't really just leave it like that! I just grabbed..."

Lu Zhe said sternly, "Leaving it for a while would've been better than getting hurt! Did you know that when the R army was in Southeast Asia, they wiped their butts with unidentified gympie-gympie leaves? Guess what happened?"

Ning Shu asked blankly, "What happened?"

Lu Zhe shaped his fingers into a gun and pressed them to his temple:

"Bang! They killed themselves!"

"Is that supposed to be funny? I thought they'd been poisoned to death! It's not like I haven't heard jokes like that before. The dog that tested the mushrooms died, its owner threw up like crazy, and it turned out the dog had been run over by a car!"

Lu Zhe said sternly, "Then do you know why they killed themselves?"

His grave tone made Ning Shu a little panicky!

She stammered, "W-why?"

"The itching was unbearable. Living was worse than death!"

"Huh?" Ning Shu shuddered. Thinking of the discomfort down below, she immediately broke into a cold sweat!

"Which leaf did you use?"

"That..." Ning Shu wanted to walk over, but it felt as though a hundred tiny bugs were crawling over that spot. She kept stamping her feet, but it brought no relief!

Helplessly, Lu Zhe walked over and picked up a leaf smeared with poop!

Information about the leaf appeared in his mind!

"Green nettle! Also known as stinging grass or scorpion grass! Covered in fine hairs, it stings like a bee, causing unbearable pain and itching!

Those with purple undersides have medicinal value! Pungent, bitter, and cold in nature; highly toxic. Primarily treats incessant vomiting. For snake venom, crush and apply. For early-stage hives, dab onto the affected areas, and all will disappear overnight!"

It seemed that purple leaves could dispel toxins, but this plant was green and had little medicinal value!

The crucial problem was that even brushing a little of this stuff against the back of a hand would cause unrelenting pain. Used to wipe such a sensitive area, it was hard to imagine the suffering Ning Shu would face next!

Ning Shu cried, "Hurry up and throw it away! That's disgusting!"

Clearly, Ning Shu was already in extreme discomfort!

Fortunately, it wasn't life-threatening!

Then how could he counteract the toxin?

Lu Zhe checked the system manual, which provided three methods!

1. Wash with plenty of soapy water!

They didn't have the means for that!

2. Counteract the toxin with medicinal herbs (mugwort, aster, white-flowered snake-tongue grass, wild mint, etc.). Crush and apply to the affected area!

He couldn't find that many medicinal herbs right now, either!

3. Emergency treatment in the wilderness!

Quickly rinse the affected area with sterile water!

Where could he find sterile water?

Wait!

Lu Zhe seemed to have thought of something!