Chapter 20

Meng Zhou forced himself to soothe his agitated wet nurse. "It wasn't them. No one forced me."

Li Wenle said, "Though I don't know what happened back then, I do know how difficult life is for men who can bear children. Whatever your reasons, keeping that hidden is always the right choice. Brother Meng, whatever you decide, I'll help you."

Meng Zhou asked instinctively, "Can I not keep it?"

"...No." Heaven had already granted men who could bear children advantages in every other respect, and had therefore taken back certain rights, such as aborting a child. Even heaven could not have predicted the tremendous exploitation and hardship these people suffered, driven by human hearts and self-interest.

Meng Zhou: "..."

He needed some quiet.

Ever since transmigrating, he had adapted well. In his previous life, he had no family and had remained alone until his death, so there was nothing he missed. In this life, he had thought he would merely repeat the emotional journey of his last, only to end up pregnant...

Duckweed accustomed to drifting had suddenly been forced to put down roots. Water reached his neck, his feet could not touch the bottom, yet he was locked here around the waist. That feeling of having nothing to push against, of being utterly out of place, shackled him, and no amount of kicking and punching could bring relief.

For a moment, Meng Zhou felt an indescribable suffocation. His limbs seemed submerged in an icy cavern, frozen numb.

He was not ready to put down roots in this world. Beyond the sense of responsibility that came with inheriting this body, everything seemed little different from acting to him. Still less was he ready to be a father: to have a soft little bundle with him and protect him from the wind and rain.

He forced a dry smile and tried to stand. After struggling for a long while, his legs still refused to obey, as weak as though their bones had been pulled out.

Li Wenle noticed his struggle and helped him up. "I know this news has been an enormous shock, Brother Meng. Though the signs of pregnancy are less obvious in men than in women, you'll still begin to show in a few months. You should make plans early. If you don't intend to let others know for now, you must never let anyone trained in medicine take your pulse."

Meng Zhou was white as paper and drenched in cold sweat. He had already been eating poorly lately, and at first glance, he looked no different from a water ghost dragged out of the water.

Too many people in the capital knew him. Lady Zhou and Meng Huaihan would certainly make a great fuss if they found out. Besides, he instinctively did not want Chu Huaiyin to know.

One day, Chu Huaiyin would ascend to lofty heights, devote himself to governing, uphold the realm, and become a wise ruler of his generation. By the same token, Meng Zhou understood that asking Chu Huaiyin to take responsibility for a mutually willing accident and forsake every beauty in the world was asking too much.

Yet Chu Huaiyin was not entirely irresponsible, either, which left Meng Zhou in a terrible position. He could fulfill a father's responsibilities toward the child, but Meng Zhou could not insist that he fulfill the responsibility of "one wife, one husband" toward him. He still remembered Chu Huaiyin's silence over their relationship after the accident.

Chu Huaiyin treated him well enough, but the blood running through his veins was still that of a forceful, controlling emperor. Since they had met, the things he said most often to Meng Zhou were, "Leave this to me," "Stay put and don't wander around," and "You're not to put yourself in danger"... It was easy to imagine that if Chu Huaiyin learned he was pregnant, he would practically tie him up in Prince Huai's Residence and pour nourishing soups down his throat every day to safeguard the pregnancy.

Though Meng Zhou had defied Prince Huai's orders many times without any real consequences, things were different now. Pregnancy might be Chu Huaiyin's bottom line, but freedom was absolutely Meng Zhou's.

He had no desire whatsoever to resign himself to his fate. He could not enter someone's rear courtyard like others who shared his fate-not even an imperial harem, not for anyone in heaven or earth.

Chu Huaiyin might not even like men!

Meng Zhou wanted to leave the capital and find some remote backwater to give birth.

But he now held an official post and was too closely tied to Chu Huaiyin. Leaving the capital would not be easy. Besides, he still had to wait for the outcome of Ji Yang's trip.

He would wait a little longer. Once Ji Yang returned and their recent efforts bore fruit, he would find an excuse to leave.

Meng Zhou left in a daze. After her initial agitation, his wet nurse accepted it faster than he did. Meng Zhou did not want to say whose child it was, and after worrying for a while, she stopped bringing it up. Instead, she held on to him and instructed him on all manner of precautions. In the end, seeing that he really had no energy to listen, Li Wenle pointed out that it was late and suggested letting Meng Zhou head back first.

Meng Zhou carried sour jujube cakes, supposedly Jiang Yao's favorite during her pregnancy, and packets of medicine Li Wenle had given him to support the pregnancy and nourish his body, one dose every two days.

The packets hung in a long string like beads, seemingly weighing a thousand pounds. He could not bring these things back to the Meng Clan, so he could only leave them with the Jiang Clan for now.

A knock sounded at the Jiang Clan's main gate. Old Li, the gatekeeper, opened it and jumped at the sudden sight of Meng Zhou, white as paper. "Young Master Meng!"

"Uncle Li, just call me Meng Zhou. I came today because I have some things I need to..."

Meng Zhou abruptly hid the medicine packets behind his back. But he was hardly broad-shouldered or thick-waisted. Instead, he resembled a pampered kitten that had been told over and over not to catch mice in the storeroom, only to sneak off and catch one anyway. Encountering his owner as he turned around, the disobedient kitten straightened his back and hid the mouse behind him.

The fat mouse could not be hidden properly. Its long tail stuck out from behind the slender kitten and trailed along the ground.

It was dark already! Why was Chu Huaiyin still here?!

Wasn't training troops on the drill grounds just a stopgap measure? Did he have to work so hard?

Watching the two men come around the corner, talking as they walked, Meng Zhou took a step back, raised his index finger to shush Uncle Li, and quietly made his escape.

"Nephew!"

Jiang Xin was seeing Chu Huaiyin out. Looking up, he spotted a flash of blue robe beyond the gate and keenly recognized Meng Zhou sneaking away. There were now two people he admired most: first, Meng Zhou; second, Prince Huai. But to demonstrate his nonexistent authority as an elder, Jiang Xin had his own little streak of pride and liked calling Meng Zhou "nephew."

Meng Zhou stiffened, pretended not to hear, and kept his head down as he walked, only for Jiang Xin to chase after him and catch hold of him.

Meng Zhou looked at Jiang Xin in exasperation. Count how many times you've screwed me over yourself. Today, I'm going to beat you to death on Jiang Yao's behalf!

His look made Jiang Xin uneasy. He lowered his voice. "Hey, hey, Prince Huai's here. Aren't you going to greet him?" He has helped us so much, after all...

That's precisely because he's here... He did not particularly want to see Chu Huaiyin right now. There was some resistance, some guilt-a jumble of feelings.

Apart from intimidating the soldiers during the first two days, Chu Huaiyin had left their training to his subordinates. Today, he had only made his customary appearance, but as he prepared to leave, a hidden guard delivered an urgent dispatch from the Shu Region. Chu Huaiyin dealt with it at the Jiang Clan's residence while he was there, and before he knew it, night had fallen.

"Why are you running?" Chu Huaiyin was better at identifying the crux of the matter than the clueless Jiang Xin. "What are you carrying? Are you ill?"

Having been spotted, Meng Zhou openly brought them out and returned to his old profession, unleashing his acting skills. "Ahem, ahem. I caught a little chill recently and had a few prescriptions filled. It's nothing serious."

Seeing that Chu Huaiyin was still staring at them, Meng Zhou's eyes shifted. He lifted the string of packets and explained, "You gave me a few roots of ginseng, didn't you? I didn't know how to use them, so I stopped by the medicine shop to have them sliced and added to the prescriptions. Even the shopkeeper said this ginseng was excellent-" Why not sell it all to my shop? I can offer another hundred taels... Meng Zhou automatically omitted that part.

There was indeed a faint, fresh scent of medicinal ginseng in the air. Noticing that Meng Zhou seemed rather listless tonight, Chu Huaiyin did not pursue why he had tried to leave without entering. "Planning to stay at the general's residence tonight? That's just as well. An urgent dispatch arrived earlier, and I must return to my residence to continue dealing with it. If you feel unwell, send someone to Prince Huai's Residence to summon an imperial physician."

"What happened?" Meng Zhou felt a little annoyed with himself. He had clearly wanted to hurry this imposing figure on his way. After spending so long around Chu Huaiyin, who answered every question he asked, he had developed this wretched habit of speaking too quickly.

This time was no exception. Though they were still standing by the threshold of the general's residence, hardly a suitable place, since Meng Zhou had asked, Chu Huaiyin briefly outlined the key points. "Shu Prefecture suffered repeated heavy rains last year, just as the grain ripened, flooding fertile fields. Grain prices have remained high this year. The court allocated grain from Lake Tai, but the Shu Road is treacherous, and the convoys have repeatedly been robbed, preventing supplies from getting through. Whether mounted bandits are responsible or officials and merchants are colluding requires a thorough investigation."

Chu Huaiyin's influence lay mainly in the north. The matter in Shu Prefecture was both a challenge and an opening. Ordinarily, he would have assigned it to Ji Yang, but Ji Yang had gone to Mount Chongling, far from there. Lately, Chu Huaiyin had been considering promoting a group of new men from the lower ranks, who could take charge on their own after some tempering.

Wasn't this a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?

Meng Zhou's eyes lit up, livelier than a cat's eyes in the dark, his earlier gloom swept away.

"I'll go." As long as he escaped Chu Huaiyin's sight, Meng Zhou had complete confidence in fooling everyone else. Once the matter in Shu Prefecture was settled, he could disappear in another "little accident" on the road back to the capital. Making it plausible would not be difficult; the difficulty lay in pulling tricks right under Chu Huaiyin's nose.

"You?" Without mockery, Chu Huaiyin glanced over the string of medicine packets in Meng Zhou's hand. "You've never left the capital, and you know even less about Shu Prefecture. Focus on recovering first."

Meng Zhou felt subtly looked down upon. So what if you've marched troops and fought battles? I traveled all over the country filming in my last life, okay?

Undiscouraged, Meng Zhou remained eager to persuade Chu Huaiyin, completely forgetting his sickly persona. He even flexed his biceps to demonstrate his vigorous strength.

Amused, Chu Huaiyin could not help reaching out to pinch those so-called "bulging muscles," landing squarely on a ticklish spot.

Meng Zhou could not help breaking into laughter. His muscles turned out to be ticklish flesh, not imposing in the slightest. Furious, he pinched his own thigh. You laughed away a perfectly good opportunity.

Chu Huaiyin suddenly reached out and caught his paw.

"Don't pinch." His words carried meaning. "Do you know how much it hurts when you pinch someone?"

How would you know?

Meng Zhou met his eyes.

Suddenly, he understood.

Why did this man still remember those things in bed?!

Hurry up and forget them!

Guilty, he did not dare answer.

"There is no room for discussion." Taking advantage of his stunned state, Chu Huaiyin delivered an unequivocal refusal.

Why was there no room for discussion? Meng Zhou hurriedly reached for Chu Huaiyin. He missed his sleeve and caught his hand instead.

The moment their palms touched, Meng Zhou hastily let go, only for Chu Huaiyin to catch him in return. With a tug and an arm around him, they were close enough to hear each other's heartbeats.

Chu Huaiyin's hand rested against one side of his lower abdomen, and Meng Zhou nearly bristled. Reason told him his belly was still flat and there was no way Chu Huaiyin could feel anything, but his nerves tightened uncontrollably, one after another, until his whole body stiffened.

"Something's wrong. You've been so insistent tonight. I want a reason." Chu Huaiyin lowered his head to meet Meng Zhou's eyes. His piercing gaze seemed to melt through clothing, leaving nowhere to hide. "Spare me that business about loyalty to sovereign and country, promotions and riches."

Chu Huaiyin promptly cut off Meng Zhou's escape route of spouting nonsense.

Meng Zhou blinked, looking utterly innocent.

But that was exactly it.

What else could it be?

Surely I couldn't be planning to run away?

You wicked feudal ruling class, can't I even take maternity leave?

Growing serious, Chu Huaiyin reminded him, "Don't forget the oath you swore at Liu Hongbao's house."

"I... haven't."

Meng Zhou thought, I normally keep it in mind and put it into practice, too, but when it comes to survival, you absolutely cannot be too rigid.

You'll get struck by lightning.

Meng Zhou moved Chu Huaiyin's hand off his waist and respectfully placed it back on Chu Huaiyin's own waist.

His belly was not to be touched casually, or he simply could not feel at ease.

Author's note: -Mini theater: The school sports meet-

Kitten Meng wanted to enter the three-thousand-meter race. Classmate Chu refused to let him, so he secretly signed up.

Kitten Meng struck a [Ready-go!] pose and flipped off his running companion, Chu Huaiyin.

Kitten Meng successfully took off, leaving everyone in the dust, and collided with the upperclassman, Classmate Guan, who was running toward him.

Suddenly, the referee urgently blew the whistle. A problem had occurred in the race. All athletes were to return to the starting line and begin again.

Having secretly signed up, Kitten Meng felt a little guilty. Afraid that the check-in station would discover his physical condition did not meet the requirements and disqualify him, he cleverly swapped identities with Classmate Guan.

Chu Huaiyin, who had suddenly been promoted to principal: "Hold down that kitten running under someone else's name!"

[For timing and plot, the later text takes precedence.]