Chapter 31

"How long are you going to keep following this humble official?" Meng Zhou asked helplessly.

Grand General Jiang was well into his thirties and extraordinarily thick-skinned. After being discovered, he simply followed Meng Zhou openly, trailing him through meals and hearings alike. In short, he was utterly brazen.

That would have been tolerable, but he also talked far too much.

Meng Zhou bought a steamed bun at a bun shop for a snack.

Jiang Yi said, "Lord Guan, you only eat plain steamed buns? Ah, did my nephew live in such hardship too, with nothing but plain buns to eat every day?"

Meng Zhou: ... Trust me, if you keep babbling, your nephew will suffer even more.

Jiang Yi continued looking heartbroken, leaving Meng Zhou no choice but to say, "Shopkeeper, two meat buns."

Jiang Yi gazed at the meat buns with gratification and held out his right hand. Meng Zhou tucked both buns into his pocket.

Jiang Yi: ...

To get some exercise, Meng Zhou walked to Jingzhao Prefecture every day.

Jiang Yi lamented sorrowfully, "It's such a long way between the two places. Lord Guan, do you think my nephew used to walk to the Court of Judicial Review too?"

Meng Zhou, whose ears were growing calluses: ... Fine. How much does it cost to hire a sedan chair?

By the end of the day, Meng Zhou realized with alarm that he had spent three times more than usual!

To a poor little kitten, this was nothing short of a bolt from the blue.

Meng Zhou smiled at Jiang Yi. Back then, to save your general's residence for you, I signed myself over to Chu Huaiyin.

It would be inexcusable not to fleece you for a first-meeting gift and some milk money for your grandnephew today.

Meng Zhou said, "I understand that seeing a familiar object reminds Grand General Jiang of someone, but as that 'object,' I often find myself confused. I am clearly Guan Jiasheng, yet I feel the unreality of a butterfly dreaming of Zhuang Zhou, or Zhuang Zhou dreaming of a butterfly."

Jiang Yi had never dealt with scholars. "Wait, Lord Guan, slow down!"

Since Meng Zhou was spouting nonsense off the cuff, he naturally had to speak fast enough to leave Jiang Yi bewildered. A glance to his right revealed Li Wenle's clinic, and an idea came to him. He strolled inside and offered Li Wenle his wrist to take his pulse.

Meng Zhou recited a string of modern neurological diagnoses, all very abstruse and very serious. Not only Jiang Yi but even Li Wenle was utterly lost, until he took Meng Zhou's pulse and everything became clear.

Physician Li's expression tightened. He clenched his hand into a fist and thumped the table hard, nearly making Jiang Yi jump out of his skin. "Doctor, is it serious?"

"Excessive worry, an agitated and troubled mind. He needs quiet rest."

Li Wenle gave Meng Zhou a deeply disapproving look and picked two things he could mention to frighten Jiang Yi. The "agitation" was entirely due to the little fatty's racket a couple of days earlier.

Clinging to the conviction that family scandals must never be aired in public, Old Madam Guan had endured Sun Yong for over twenty years, only to finally erupt over his drugging Guan Jiasheng. Practically the very next day, she had Sun Yong and his precious son sent to a country estate to fend for themselves. A-Bao screamed and cried, "This is my home! It'll all be mine someday! Who dares throw me out?" adding fuel to the fire. Mother Guan did not want to say another word. She had already done everything she could for them, and waved for the household guards to take them away immediately.

"Physician Li, prescribe some medicine." While Jiang Yi was not looking, Meng Zhou pointed at his lower abdomen.

Li Wenle sent the medicine boy away and gathered the herbs himself. Meng Zhou sniffed them. They smelled the same as last time; Li Wenle had understood his hint.

Jiang Yi guiltily rubbed the back of his head, feeling that His Majesty, who had suggested this approach, was not particularly reliable.

His Majesty had said that Guan Jiasheng was now beset by danger. Since Grand General Jiang had no duties in the capital for the time being, why not protect his dear minister Guan for him until they uncovered the true culprit behind it all? He had even devised the method: just say he wanted to see what his nephew had looked like.

Jiang Yi understood that those pursuing Guan Jiasheng were probably the same people who had killed Meng Zhou. Without another word, he accepted the decree and began following him.

Yet he knew nothing of His Majesty's private motive: putting Jiang Yi beside Meng Zhou might make Meng Zhou reveal more flaws.

Li Wenle handed Meng Zhou the prepared herbs. Meng Zhou made a show of reaching for his money, and Jiang Yi immediately rushed to pay.

He had followed Lord Guan until the man needed a doctor. How could he possibly let him pay too?

The corners of Meng Zhou's mouth curled up for an instant, and he went home carrying the "calming medicine" he had finally managed to wheedle out of him.

Meanwhile, Jiang Yi exchanged a glance with Chu Huaiyin's hidden guard, signaling for him to protect Meng Zhou, then returned to the palace to see His Majesty.

Lord Guan seemed rather fragile. He dared not follow him anymore.

After hearing Jiang Yi's report, Chu Huaiyin could not tell whether it was true or false either. He immediately summoned an imperial physician and ordered him to hurry to the Guan residence to ensure Guan Jiasheng was in good health.

When the imperial physician arrived, Afu had just finished brewing the medicine. Meng Zhou lowered his head to drink, only to hear the physician's voice in the courtyard. He could neither drink the bowl nor leave it. With nowhere to hide it on such short notice, and unable to let the physician see the medicine, Meng Zhou steeled himself and gulped it all down. "Afu, quick, cold water to rinse my mouth."

It was a little hot.

Acting on an imperial decree, the physician dared not be careless. The two went back and forth, Meng Zhou insisting that nothing was wrong while the physician talked himself hoarse trying to persuade him to let him take his pulse.

Meng Zhou could only say, "I only have a few superficial injuries. Sorry for the trouble, but please prescribe some medicine."

Such as the wound the little fatty had stabbed in his neck, the mouth he had just scalded, and the discomfort in his vocal cords from overusing his disguised voice.

There was absolutely nothing else wrong!

The imperial physician breathed a sigh of relief. At least he had not come for nothing. He carefully applied medicine to Meng Zhou's almost-healed neck and had him open his mouth wide. There were no blisters in his mouth, but his throat showed some internal heat.

In the end, he prescribed some heat-clearing medicine specifically for his throat.

Meng Zhou dared not ask whether a pregnant person could take it. Once the imperial physician left, he tossed the medicine into a cabinet.

"Afu, brew a cup of chrysanthemum tea."

Not only had the imperial physician encountered an uncooperative patient, he also had an emperor who concerned himself with far too much.

He racked his brains to recount the scene at the Guan residence to Chu Huaiyin, mentioning that Lord Guan might have overused his voice recently, leaving it somewhat hoarse. When he emerged from the imperial study, he felt he should take a dose of the medicine he had prescribed for Guan Jiasheng himself. After all, he really had spoken a great deal that day.

Chu Huaiyin rubbed his thumb ring. There were two possible reasons for refusing the imperial physician. Either Guan Jiasheng was concealing an illness and avoiding treatment, or Meng Zhou was perfectly healthy and afraid the imperial physician would discover it!

Guan Jiasheng was open and gentle by nature, so the latter was more likely.

He knew Meng Zhou's voice imitation was masterful. As long as he had heard a voice once, he could reproduce it almost perfectly. Meng Zhou must have met Guan Jiasheng.

At that thought, Chu Huaiyin's heart clenched. Why did Meng Zhou always run into trouble? What was he after, getting himself into such a state?

If Meng Zhou was rejecting the imperial physician because of his "impotence," then this method was far too discourteous. Although Chu Huaiyin was almost certain Guan Jiasheng was Meng Zhou, for the sake of that remaining one-in-ten-thousand possibility, he could not deliberately expose a subject's sore spot.

He needed a foolproof way to verify it, one that would leave Meng Zhou with nothing to say.

The imperial study blazed with light. A stack of memorials half a person's height still sat on the dragon desk. Xiao Jiu, the brush-holding eunuch, watched His Majesty review them faster and faster, his sweeping calligraphy bold and flowing, as though the memorials contained something that greatly pleased him.

Xiao Jiu was puzzled. He could guarantee that half those memorials urged His Majesty to select consorts and appoint an empress. Usually, His Majesty tossed them into the brazier without even reading them.

Why was he not reacting at all tonight? Why did he even seem happy?

Had His Majesty finally come around and decided to fill his harem? Xiao Jiu grew a little excited. According to the old eunuchs, consorts often bribed the eunuchs attending the emperor, hoping His Majesty would turn over their name tablets more often. Though His Majesty was wise and mighty and would not be swayed by those around him, surely there was no law against thinking about it?

For the first time, the ministers who had submitted memorials requesting the selection of consorts received replies personally written by His Majesty in vermilion. Though each bore only a perfunctory "Read," compared with the way their memorials had previously vanished without a trace, they could not help wondering whether His Majesty was wavering.

A group of ministers gathered to discuss it, and the more they thought about it, the more certain they became. Thus, at court the following morning, civil officials dropped to their knees in a great swath, petitioning His Majesty to select maidens widely for entry into the palace and perpetuate the dynasty.

Only Meng Zhou stood out like a crane among chickens.

Before he had even realized what was happening, he was the only one around him still standing.

Chu Huaiyin looked over, his approving gaze settling on Meng Zhou. Before he could properly praise his dear minister Guan for understanding his heart, Meng Zhou swiftly slipped into Guan Jiasheng's persona and dropped to his knees with a thud.

Dark clouds instantly seemed to loom over the imperial audience hall. Chu Huaiyin's expression turned frighteningly grim.

Meng Zhou felt as though His Majesty's gaze was about to set his clothes alight, as if all Chu Huaiyin's fury were concentrated on attacking him.

It felt as though everyone had done something wrong together, yet he alone had been caught.

Meng Zhou was both puzzled and guilty. He had always advocated freedom in marriage, but he was Guan Jiasheng now, and had to act according to Guan Jiasheng's thinking.

Everyone still felt lingering dread when recalling how that morning's court session had unfolded. They remembered only that His Majesty had finally swept away in a thunderous rage, leaving all the civil and military officials kneeling outside the Hall of Supreme Harmony.

Chu Huaiyin had not dismissed court, so no one dared leave. They had merely shifted their position outside the hall to look a little more sincere.

Kneeling in the middle of the ranks, Meng Zhou still did not quite understand what had angered Chu Huaiyin. They had discussed this question before, and Chu Huaiyin had not been opposed. Why was he now like an ignited powder keg?

Dark clouds slowly sank lower. After a few rumbles of thunder, the morning rain began without warning. The ministers still knelt upright; only Meng Zhou defied all propriety by sheltering himself with his sleeve.

He had makeup on his face. It would run.

If it ran, he would not make it out of the palace today.

Besides, he could not get sick.

Through a crack in the window, Chu Huaiyin looked into the hazy curtain of rain and immediately spotted that thin figure among the crowd. He did not want Meng Zhou kneeling, but if he did not teach him a lesson, what if he followed everyone else in urging him to take consorts again?

Without realizing it, Chu Huaiyin had placed Meng Zhou on a pedestal he himself would never have imagined. In this lifetime, he wanted only one Kitten Meng, to cherish and protect, not even daring to raise his voice.

He paced irritably with his hands behind his back. The young eunuch felt as though even the marble beneath his feet were shaking.

"Go, tell them all to go..." Chu Huaiyin sighed, finally yielding.

The young eunuch's vision blurred as a bright yellow figure flashed past. When he looked again, His Majesty had rushed into the rain, and ahead of him... it had only been a moment. Had Lord Guan fainted?