Drawing in the Net

Shen Mingzhu learned the news at dusk.

She was sitting in the heated chamber of the Palace of Nurtured Elegance, altering a little padded jacket for Xiao Yu. The cold had come early that winter, and Xiao Yu was growing so quickly that the sleeves of the jacket made at the start of autumn were already half an inch too short. She had asked the Clothing Office to send over a length of rabbit-fur trim, intending to extend the cuffs a little, sewing the fur into the lining so that a fluffy white edging showed, both warm and pretty. Her stitches were very fine. She had sewn and unpicked, unpicked and sewn, altering it three times, yet still felt that the fur edging on the right cuff was a hair wider than the left.

Xiao Yu lay on his stomach on the heated platform, leafing through a copy of the Three Character Classic. He stopped at "At four, Rong could yield the pears," looked up, and asked, "Mother, why did Kong Rong give the big ones to other people?"

"Because he held others in his heart." Shen Mingzhu did not look up, her fingers moving steadily with needle and thread.

"Then why do you give all the big ribs to me?"

"Because I hold you in my heart."

Xiao Yu thought it over, nodded in satisfaction, and lowered his head to keep reading.

Just then, the palace maid stationed outside came stumbling in. She knelt inside the threshold, her face utterly bloodless, her lips trembling several times before she managed to get the whole story out-the Imperial Guards had surrounded the chancellor's residence. Chancellor Shen had been imprisoned on charges of embezzling military pay, forming a faction for private gain, and planting spies in the Eastern Palace to plot treason. His Majesty had already decreed that the Shen Clan's property be confiscated and every member executed.

The maid's voice shattered into fragments as she spoke those final words.

The needle in Shen Mingzhu's hand paused. Then she continued sewing, finishing the last half inch of rabbit-fur edging with stitches just as fine and close as before, not a single one crooked. She returned the needle to its cushion, folded the altered jacket neatly beside the heated platform, and turned to Xiao Yu. "Yu'er, go out to the back courtyard and look at the rabbits first. I have something to discuss with Auntie."

Xiao Yu slid down from the platform and shuffled to the door in his shoes, then glanced back. His mother sat on the edge of the heated platform, her back perfectly straight, a smile on her face-the same smile he saw every morning when he came to pay his respects. Reassured, he turned and ran toward the back courtyard.

Shen Mingzhu watched her son disappear around the corner of the covered walkway, then turned to the maid. "Tell me."

Kneeling on the floor, the maid told her everything she knew, down to the last detail-Zhao Bao had been arrested, Cui Shen had been arrested, and Kong Wu and his men had seized chests of ledgers and secret correspondence from the chancellor's residence. The secret letters stated it plainly: Shen Boyong had arranged Zhao Bao's transfer to the Eastern Palace in the sixth year of Jianxi, with orders to watch the crown prince's every move and frame him when the time was ripe. They had not yet had time to carry out the plan to frame him, but the groundwork had long been laid-they were only waiting for the crown prince to grow a few years older.

Shen Mingzhu sat perfectly upright on the edge of the heated platform. At the name "Zhao Bao," the corner of her mouth moved slightly. She remembered the last time His Majesty had personally brought the crown prince to visit her during her illness at the Palace of Nurtured Elegance. The crown prince had pulled a packet of osmanthus cakes from his sleeve and pressed it into Xiao Yu's hands. Xiao Yu had held the packet with a smile that deepened his dimples, while she stood at the door thinking about the plans for the turn of the year. She knew the crown prince treated Xiao Yu well. But that kindness could change nothing—she was a daughter of the Shen Clan. Everything she had done had begun when she first entered the palace, before Xiao Yu had even been born, when the crown prince was still in swaddling clothes. She could not stop just because the crown prince had given Xiao Yu a few cakes. Stopping would mean admitting that everything she had done these past four years had been wrong.

She rose and walked to the dressing table, taking a small wooden box from the very back of a drawer. Inside lay a pair of gold bracelets engraved with trailing lotus vines, part of the dowry her mother had given her the year she entered the palace. She took them out and studied them in her palm for a long time, then returned them to the box and pushed it toward the maid.

"Keep these for Yu'er. When he grows up, tell him-his maternal grandmother had these bracelets made, and his mother wore them from childhood."

She knew she would not survive.

Xiao Yu returned from the back courtyard clutching a few strands of rabbit fur. The gray rabbit was shedding, and he had crouched beside its cage combing it for quite a while, gathering a little tuft. He ran back to the heated chamber to show his mother, only to find several strangers standing at the entrance, all in Imperial Guard uniforms. One of the guards, a saber at his hip, stopped him, his tone courteous but his gesture firm.

"Please stop here, Second Prince."

"Is Mother inside? I picked up some rabbit fur-" He opened his hand. The few strands of soft gray rabbit fur lay on his palm, quivering slightly in the wind.

Liu An came along the covered walkway and bent to bow to Xiao Yu. His voice was a little lower than usual. "Second Prince, His Majesty has ordered that you come with this old servant to stay at Consort Jing's palace for a few days."

Xiao Yu looked at Liu An's face, then at the guards stationed outside the heated chamber. It was not that he understood nothing. He had grown up in the palace; he knew when to smile and when to be quiet, and he knew his mother had not sent him to see the rabbits merely because she wanted to speak to Auntie. He tightened his grip on the strands of rabbit fur and looked up. "What about Mother?"

Liu An did not answer.

Suddenly, Xiao Yu rushed toward the chamber door. He was small enough to duck under a guard's arm, push open the door, and run inside. Shen Mingzhu sat on the edge of the heated platform, an empty wine cup before her. Her face was very white, whiter than when she wore powder, and a streak of red remained at the corner of her mouth, not quite wiped clean. Hearing the footsteps, she turned. The instant she saw Xiao Yu, something shattered in those ever-composed eyes.

"Yu'er-"

"Mother!" Xiao Yu threw himself at her and hugged her legs, burying his face against her knees. "Mother, what's wrong? You're so pale-" He looked up, saw the streak of red at the corner of her mouth, then glanced at the empty wine cup on the table, and suddenly understood something.

"Mother, are you going away?"

Shen Mingzhu looked down at her son. He clung to her legs and gazed up at her, tears in his eyes that had not yet fallen. His voice trembled, but every word was perfectly clear. She had done many things in her life. Some for the Shen Clan, some for herself, and some to put Xiao Yu in that position. Yet very few had been simply to make Xiao Yu happy. Now this three-year-old child tugged at her skirt and asked if she was going away. He knew nothing of the Shen Clan, nothing of the court, nothing of what his mother had done. He knew only that his mother was here, and she could not leave.

"Yu'er." Shen Mingzhu's fingers stroked his hair. Her fingertips trembled, but her tone remained steady. "I have to go somewhere very far away. You must behave yourself with Her Highness Noble Consort Jing."

"I don't want to behave!" Xiao Yu suddenly shouted. At last, the tears rolled from his eyes and struck Shen Mingzhu's skirt, soaking a small patch of fabric dark. "I want Mother! I don't want you to go! Why don't you want me anymore-"

Shen Mingzhu lifted him onto her lap and wiped the tears from his face with her sleeve. She wiped very slowly and carefully, as though wiping something she would never be able to touch again. She lowered her head and gazed into his eyes for a long time, as though trying to brand that face into her bones.

"It isn't that I don't want you. I just-"

She stopped. She thought for a long time, trying to find words a three-year-old could understand, but could not. Had done something wrong? She could not say that-not because she refused to admit it, but because she did not want "criminal" to be the first thing Xiao Yu thought of when he remembered her after he grew up. She lowered her head and buried her face against the crown of his head, smelling the faint osmanthus fragrance in his hair-the same osmanthus fragrance the crown prince carried.

"Does your crown prince brother treat you well?"

Xiao Yu froze, not knowing why his mother had suddenly asked this. He nodded through his sobs. "Yes. Crown Prince Brother teaches me to write, and he gives me osmanthus cakes."

"Then let your crown prince brother teach you from now on, all right? Write with him, learn archery with him, be his little brother. He treats you well, so you must treat him well too."

Her voice grew softer and softer, so soft that even the maid right beside her could barely hear.

Xiao Yu lay against his mother's chest and heard her heartbeat slowing. His knuckles whitened as he clutched her lapels, his face buried in her embrace. Suddenly, he said, "Mother, do you dislike Crown Prince Brother?"

Shen Mingzhu's heart missed a beat. She looked down at the child in her arms-he used even the word "dislike" with such care. His face was buried against her, so he could not see her expression. He simply continued in a muffled voice, each word seeming squeezed from his throat.

"But Mother, Crown Prince Brother is a good person. He's good to me. His writing is better than mine, and his archery is better too. He teaches me to write, and even when I write crookedly, he says it's good. Why don't you like him, Mother? Is it because-because he doesn't talk to you?"

At last, Shen Mingzhu's tears fell, striking the crown of Xiao Yu's head. This child knew everything. He knew his mother disliked the crown prince, knew what she was doing, yet never said anything. He shared half his osmanthus cakes with his mother and gave gloves to his crown prince brother, treading carefully between them, trying with his own tiny strength to draw the two sides a little closer. He was still so young, yet he had already learned to be a good child in the cracks between them.

"Yu'er-I've wronged you." She held him tighter, so tightly that both their bones ached. She buried her face against his head, her voice breaking into fragments. "You must remember-what I did was my fault, not yours. You knew nothing. You were only my good son. When you grow up, don't defend me, and don't carry my mistakes on your shoulders. You must grow up well and become someone-"

She choked, taking a moment before she could finish. "Become someone like your crown prince brother."

Xiao Yu sobbed so hard that his whole body shook. He clung to Shen Mingzhu's lapels and refused to let go, saying that Mother must not leave, Mother would not leave. Shen Mingzhu pulled her hand free of his, picked up the little padded jacket folded neatly beside the platform, and set it by his hand. The rabbit-fur trim on its cuffs was perfectly even; the right and left sides were finally the same width. Then she set him down from her lap and pushed him toward the door.

"Go. Go look at the rabbits in the back courtyard."

Xiao Yu stood where he was, refusing to leave. He looked back at his mother, then at the empty wine cup on the table. Suddenly, he turned and ran over, sweeping the cup onto the floor. It shattered into several pieces on the golden floor tiles, the few remaining drops of poisoned wine splashing onto his cuff. He picked up the porcelain shards one by one and threw them far away, then knocked over the wine jug on the table as well. Wine spread across the tabletop and trickled down through its seams, pattering onto the golden tiles.

"Mother, why did you drink this!"

Shen Mingzhu watched him without moving. Another thin stream of blood seeped from the corner of her mouth. She wiped it away, looked at the blood on her fingers, then at the shattered wine jug on the floor-she had already drunk all the poisoned wine, not a drop left. She drew Xiao Yu to her and used the last of her strength to turn him toward the door.

"Go look at the rabbits. Be good."

Hearing the commotion outside, Liu An pushed open the door and entered. He saw Xiao Yu pushed toward the doorway and Shen Mingzhu leaning against the edge of the heated platform, her face white as paper. He hurriedly scooped Xiao Yu up and carried him out. Xiao Yu struggled desperately in Liu An's arms, kicking both legs and reaching both hands toward the heated chamber.

"Mother! Mother-"

Leaning against the edge of the platform, Shen Mingzhu watched the direction in which Xiao Yu had been carried away. Her vision had begun to blur, but she still fought with all her strength to keep her eyes open, wanting one more glimpse of that little sapphire-blue figure receding into the distance. She remembered him leafing through the Three Character Classic on the heated platform that afternoon, asking why Kong Rong had given the big pears to others. She had said it was because he held others in his heart. Then he had asked why she gave all the big ribs to him. She had said it was because she held him in her heart.

She had not lied to him.

Her vision grew blurrier, and Xiao Yu's voice grew more distant.

Dusk gathered outside the window, and the lanterns of the Palace of Nurtured Elegance had not yet been lit. Shen Mingzhu slowly slid down from the edge of the heated platform and fell onto the golden floor tiles. Her eyes remained open, gazing toward the door. For the first time, she regretted it. How she wished... she could stay with Yu'er as he grew up, watch him practice martial arts and archery, watch him marry and establish his own household...

When the news reached the Hall of Mental Cultivation, Xiao Lin was approving the last few personnel transfers related to the Shen Clan. Liu An kept his voice very low as he reported that the noble consort had passed away and that the second prince was now at Consort Jing's palace, crying terribly. Xiao Lin set down his brush, fell silent for a moment, and said he understood. Then he rose and walked to the side hall's entrance. Xiao Huaijin was bent over a low table practicing his writing. Hearing footsteps, he looked up and saw that his imperial father's expression was graver than usual.

"Huaijin. Go to Consort Jing's palace and see your second brother."

Xiao Huaijin put down his brush without asking why. He rose and walked to the door, took his little cloak from the rack and put it on, then searched the low table's drawer for an unopened packet of osmanthus cakes and tucked it into his sleeve. At the hall entrance, he looked back and asked, "Imperial Father, has Her Highness the Noble Consort gone?"

"Yes," Xiao Lin said.

Xiao Huaijin fell silent for a moment, then said, "Then Second Brother will be sad for a very long time."

Xiao Lin looked down at his child. He was still so young, yet already knew that losing someone was not something a bout of crying could heal. Because he had only just experienced it himself.

"I'll go keep Second Brother company." Xiao Huaijin tucked the osmanthus cakes farther into his sleeve, pushed open the door, and went out.

Consort Jing had received the decree that evening. She cleared out a side hall in her own palace for Xiao Yu, laid out fresh bedding, and had Xiao Lan bring over several picture books to place at his bedside. When Liu An brought Xiao Yu over, his eyes were red and swollen from crying and his voice was already hoarse. He stood at the side hall's entrance without a word. Xiao Lan went over and took his hand. He flinched, neither pulling free nor responding.

That was the scene Xiao Huaijin found when he arrived. Xiao Yu sat on the edge of the couch in the side hall, his two short legs dangling, a few strands of rabbit fur clenched in his hand, his head lowered and his body motionless. Xiao Lan sat beside him, an open picture book in her hands, but she was not looking at him.

"Second Brother." Xiao Huaijin walked up to him and pulled the packet of osmanthus cakes from his sleeve. The paper packet was still warm; before leaving, he had specifically asked Liu An to help warm it beside the brazier.

Xiao Yu did not take it.

Xiao Huaijin opened the paper packet and placed it beside his hand, then sat down next to him. He said nothing, simply sitting there. The three children sat side by side on the low couch, a dish of osmanthus cakes between them, while dusk deepened outside the window.

After a long time, Xiao Yu suddenly spoke, his voice so hoarse it was almost inaudible.

"Crown Prince Brother, Mother told me to follow you."

Xiao Huaijin said nothing. He pushed the dish of osmanthus cakes closer to Xiao Yu.

After another long while, Xiao Yu spoke again, even more softly than before, as though speaking to himself.

"She was my mother."

Xiao Huaijin reached out and rested his hand on Xiao Yu's back. He did not pat it, simply leaving his hand there. He remembered crying in his imperial father's arms the night his nanny had gone, that feeling of being unable to breathe, exactly like his second brother now.

"Was your mother good to you?"

Xiao Yu lowered his head, tears striking the back of his hand, and nodded.

"Then remember that," Xiao Huaijin said. "Other people will say many things, but only you know whether she was good to you."

Xiao Yu buried his face in his sleeve, his shoulders shaking violently. Xiao Lan silently held out a handkerchief from beside them. Xiao Huaijin took it and tucked it into Xiao Yu's hand. He said nothing more, simply keeping his hand on his little brother's back.