As a little Earth Snake born in 1989, supposedly destined to be meticulous and supremely calm, Jiang Jie really let his zodiac sign down!
He was someone who loved daydreaming whenever he had nothing to do. In his twenty-three years of life, he had imagined his own death thousands of times: jumping off a building, drowning, burning, starving, overeating, choking. But he had never imagined that he would be run over and killed by a dog driving a car!
God knew how that Chinese village dog could drive. All that mattered was that it had driven steadily onto the road, then failed to brake when the light turned red and run Jiang Jie down on the crosswalk!
In that final moment, Jiang Jie raised his middle finger at that peerless dog, then his life came to an end!
Cold. Silence. Jiang Jie felt his soul drifting through the sky, then leaving Earth under the pull of some mysterious force and floating into space. Suddenly, a voice brimming with mockery rang out within his soul:
"Congratulations, host! As the Chinese deceased with the most bizarre and hilarious death detected since this gaming pod traveled through space and time, you satisfy all the conditions set by the creator of this game and gaming pod, the greatest genius (lunatic) game designer, Shen Yuan. You will receive the sole dedicated gaming pod for [The Universe's Strongest Martial Artist: Assisted Cultivation Game]! The game's final design was completed at 9:10:11 a.m. on July 8, 3456 CE. Shen Yuan reserves all rights of final interpretation!"
"What the hell?" Jiang Jie felt utterly screwed. Everyone said death put an end to everything, so why was his soul floating in the sky, with the blue Earth right there before his eyes?
Where was hell? Where was the underworld? Surely flying up into the sky didn't mean going to heaven?
Jiang Jie began counting on his fingers all the good deeds he had done in his life. Helping old ladies cross the road, picking up a penny and handing it to a police officer for safekeeping-every last one counted!
"According to article 41, clause 250 of the user agreement signed by the host, the game designer stole every martial arts manual belonging to the ten great ancient martial arts clans and was issued the Galactic Federation's highest-level arrest warrant. As he utterly loathes the Galactic Federation, the host will therefore be transported beyond the Milky Way and resurrected on a randomly selected life-bearing planet! Random teleportation will now begin. Countdown starting: 10, 9, 8..."
What the hell!
Jiang Jie was losing his mind. He hadn't lived enough yet! He hadn't enjoyed all the delicious food, fun things, and beautiful sights on Earth even once, so why was he being tossed beyond the Milky Way?
What gave them the right?
When had he signed that nonsensical user agreement?
"Warning!!! Do not insult anything whatsoever related to the game designer, or bear the consequences! Furthermore, the moment the gaming pod selected you, you were deemed to have signed the user agreement! To repeat: Shen Yuan reserves all rights of final interpretation!"
"Countdown complete. Commencing teleportation!"
The next moment, Jiang Jie felt the entire world go dark. He could neither see nor feel anything...
When he woke again, he already had a new body and had arrived somewhere completely unfamiliar.
"Soul-body integration commencing..."
"Integration complete!"
"A cursed soul remnant has been detected within this body. Commencing soul remnant integration and absorption of fragmented memories..."
Jiang Jie felt image after image flash through his mind.
First came a newborn baby. Then the baby slowly grew up, playing happily in a town resembling the Western Middle Ages. There was also a name: Nicholas Barov.
Then the images flashed past rapidly, finally resolving into a person.
A nobleman!
This nobleman, in his thirties, was pouring a bottle of sickly green solution into the river when Nicholas happened to pass by and see him. Then a shadow flashed, and the nobleman was already before him. An extraordinarily valuable dagger pierced his heart!
Nicholas, deceased!
Without a doubt, Jiang Jie had replaced Nicholas,
resurrected in a borrowed body! "This body has been detected to be infected with a plague and contaminated by a peculiar virus!"
"Warning!!! Warning!!! The host's estimated remaining lifespan is one minute..."
"According to article 250, clause 41 of the user agreement, the emergency protocol will now be activated immediately. Issuing beginner gift package number 777 to the host: Black Tortoise Longevity Art!"
"The Black Tortoise Longevity Art is a supreme internal cultivation art developed by Zhang Zhenwu, a renowned martial arts grandmaster of the thirty-fourth century, after extensive research into the Wudang Tortoise Breath Technique, passed down for thousands of years, and the ancient Dragon Elephant Divine Art. Its many effects include extending life, granting immunity to all poisons, nourishing yin and replenishing yang, regulating hormonal imbalances, and treating frequent urination, urinary urgency, and incomplete bladder emptying. Most importantly, once the basics of this art have been mastered, it can circulate automatically, continuously increasing internal energy. It is exceptionally profound!"
"Assisted cultivation commencing. Stimulating the host's body to generate internal energy..."
"Internal energy generation complete!"
"Commencing the first circulation cycle..."
"Warning! Warning! Warning! This gaming pod has exhausted its energy and will soon enter sleep mode!"
"This gaming pod incorporates the Galactic Federation's most advanced thirty-fifth-century technology and can independently absorb any form of surrounding energy as a power source!"
"An extremely high concentration of unknown energy has been detected in this world. Entering sleep mode to absorb energy. Estimated time required: twenty-four hours!"
Jiang Jie was on the verge of tears!
What the hell was all this?
He had thought he had received an incredible transmigration golden finger. Instead, his golden finger had run out of energy and gone to sleep. Worse, he was infected with a plague. Who knew whether he would just drop dead!
Fortunately, that lousy gaming pod had helped him master the basics of that Black Tortoise Longevity Art or whatever it was. He could now feel a strange current circulating slowly inside his body.
But wasn't this circulation way too slow? Could it even finish one cycle in an hour?
Black Tortoise Longevity Art? They might as well just call it the Turtle Art!
Huh? Why did it feel so hot around him? What was happening?
Jiang Jie struggled to open his eyes, then saw that he was lying on a huge pile of dry firewood, with hundreds of corpses beside him and flames everywhere!
Hastily turning his head, Jiang Jie looked through the flames and saw a group of soldiers in the distance, their expressions solemn as they...
Observed a moment of silence?
Was he about to be burned to death?
No way!
Dying before his transmigration had even gotten anywhere? Absolutely not!
Jiang Jie mustered every bit of his strength and let out his first cry since transmigrating:
"Help!"
As the word left his mouth, it became this world's Common tongue.
Then the extremely weak Jiang Jie fell unconscious once more.
Not far away, at the very front of the soldiers, two young people in their twenties stood side by side, a man and a woman.
The man wore gold-and-silver Paladin armor and held a Paladin warhammer shining with Holy Light. He looked dashing and imposing. The woman wore mage robes that were clearly very expensive and held a staff taller than herself.
When he heard Jiang Jie's cry, the Paladin's face lit up with excitement, and he hurriedly shouted, "Jaina! Did you hear someone calling for help? Quick, get him out of there! He might be able to give us useful information!"
The female mage, Jaina, was much calmer. She nodded gently and said, "As you wish, Arthas."
She raised her staff. Jiang Jie's body suddenly floated into the air, then drifted over to them under her control.
Arthas hurriedly crouched to examine him, a strange expression appearing on his face. "Huh? I know this man. I pulled him out of the river in Andorhal. I'm certain he was already dead then. How has he come back to life? His body is very weak, but much of the plague inside him seems to have been cleared away. There also seems to be a strange energy inside him... How odd!"
Jaina said, "Arthas, perhaps you were mistaken at the time. Since much of the plague has already been cleared from his body, can you heal him?"
Arthas nodded. "I'll try."
He held his hand above Jiang Jie and silently recited, Cleanse!
A ray of Holy Light fell upon Jiang Jie, purging the plague from his body.
"It worked!"
Arthas cried out excitedly, and another ray of Holy Light appeared in his hand.
"Flash of Light!"
Color slowly returned to Jiang Jie's body, which had been bleached pale from soaking in water, and the wound in his chest gradually closed.
"He's lost too much blood. He needs proper rest." Arthas stood and declared loudly, "The necromancer Kel'Thuzad has been slain, and the Undead of Andorhal have been cleansed! But the plagued grain has already been shipped to Hearthglen. We must leave for Hearthglen immediately!"
Jaina shook her head. "Arthas, we can't abandon this man. He's too weak to travel such a long distance with us. If we leave him here, he'll certainly die! Besides, this has already gone beyond what we can handle. To think Kel'Thuzad was the one behind it all! I think we should return to Lordaeron. I also need to report to my teacher, Master Antonidas!"
Arthas gripped his warhammer tightly and said through clenched teeth, "Jaina, you can go report to them. Take him back to Lordaeron with you! It's decided!"
Jaina placed a hand on him and looked into his eyes, insisting, "Arthas, you're already exhausted! Listen to me. Let the soldiers go to Hearthglen first while we report to His Majesty and Master Antonidas and ask them to send reinforcements. Don't worry about losing time. Just a few mages working together can transport an entire army to Hearthglen... Trust me, this is the best way!"