Su Mian was all too familiar with this body.
So she immediately realized that things were exactly as she had first suspected.
He had transmigrated in his own body!
There had originally been no such person as him in this world.
Which meant... he had no ID!
He was an unregistered resident!
Not being able to get a SIM card was a minor issue. The real problem was that the police would haul him away for being unregistered!
Duan Xuanyu gently took hold of her hand and lowered his head slightly, looking at her up close.
"Su Mian, in your era, are women allowed to touch men as they please right out on the street?"
Su Mian withdrew her hand without batting an eyelid and said calmly, "Of course. Men have very low status in our era."
Duan Xuanyu said, "But your books say men and women are equal."
Su Mian lied to him with perfect composure. "Those are old editions of the textbooks. Times are changing."
Duan Xuanyu said nothing. His eyes held thirty percent trust, thirty percent suspicion, and forty percent pure, crystal-clear stupidity.
He was only nineteen. In modern times, he would have been a college student, and he was still quite easy to fool.
Su Mian turned and led him into a nearby phone shop.
Although he couldn't get a SIM card or make calls.
He could still buy a phone and use it just the same once he connected to the Wi-Fi back at the villa.
Soon, Duan Xuanyu owned the first budget smartphone of his life.
Su Mian taught him how to activate it and use common apps.
Since Duan Xuanyu didn't have an ID yet, Su Mian let him use an alternate account of hers on a messaging app for now, so the two of them could message each other from then on.
That evening.
All the guests returned to the apartment.
The room assignments remained the same as yesterday.
Gu Yichen had slept on the floor in Cheng Qin's room the night before.
After learning that the other two male guests had both spent the previous night in the living room, he came to the living room too that day.
Duan Xuanyu studied his phone alone on the balcony.
The three female guests each returned to their rooms.
After returning to her room, Su Mian lay down on the bed and transferred the money to the original owner's mother's account.
As soon as she sent it, the original owner's mother, Su Qingyan, replied, "Thank you, sweetheart. I'm sorry. Your mother has only been a burden to you."
Su Mian: "You're welcome."
Sigh... I miss my mom from my original world.
Su Qingyan: "Sweetheart, when does your show end? When you come back, Mom will tell you a secret."
Su Mian's eyes lit up, her curiosity piqued. "What secret? Can't you tell me over the phone?"
Su Qingyan: "It has to be in person."
Su Mian: "Okay, then we'll wait until the show ends."
After finishing her chat with her mother, Su Mian went to shower, planning to go to bed.
When she came out of the shower, she picked up her phone and looked.
Duan Xuanyu had sent her 99+ messages.
Duan Xuanyu: "Su Mian, can you see the words I send?"
Duan Xuanyu: "Su Mian, phones really are wonderful things. When I return to Northern Liang, I'm going to buy one for every soldier on the frontier."
Duan Xuanyu: "Su Mian, those two men are so annoying. I want to beat them up. May I?"
Duan Xuanyu: "Su Mian..."
Su Mian scrolled all the way to the end.
Suddenly, she thought of an online post.
It was called "What if puppies had WeChat?"
Whether something was big or small, good or bad, a puppy would keep pinging away, talking nonstop.
He's so much like a puppy.
After reading all the messages, Su Mian replied with an animated sticker of a laughing kitten.
Duan Xuanyu: "Su Mian, I can receive your replies!"
Duan Xuanyu: "Su Mian, you're amazing. The kitten you sent moves!"
Su Mian could feel his excitement through the screen.
Su Mian: "I'm amazing, right? Be good and go to sleep, and do as I say. I'll teach you how to send moving kittens later."
Duan Xuanyu: "All right, Su Mian."
Su Mian's eyes curved without her noticing.
The little emperor was so easy to fool.
The night passed.
The show reached its third day.
The host, Yin Xiaohong, faced the camera with a smile.
"This morning's segment is: everyday life Q&A!"
"As we all know, once a married couple starts living together, they face countless little things."
"And if the spouses differ too much in how they handle these things, friction is bound to arise."
"So the production team has come up with some questions for you. As you answer them, you can assess how the guest you're interested in handles things."
"We'll also open online voting today. After the Q&A ends, the top three chosen by the viewers will receive today's living allowance."
"Now, please listen to the first question."
"Suppose your family is poor, and after marrying the person you like, you have a child. Now your family has reached the end of the road, with only two baked flatbreads left. Who would you choose to give them to?"
The host passed the microphone to Fang Nuonuo, who sat in the first seat on the sofa.
Fang Nuonuo tucked her long hair behind her ear and smiled shyly. "I'd give my husband one. I have a small appetite, so the child and I could share the other."
As always, the bullet comments filled with praise for how considerate she was.
Lin Xi, who sat right beside her, took the microphone. "My answer is the same as Miss Fang's. I think men have bigger appetites and can eat one, while the woman and child share the other."
The bullet comments immediately started shipping them:
[Lin Xi actually made the same choice as our goddess! I ship it! Those two definitely won't have any friction living together!]
[Lin Xi, you rascal, you've fallen for her, haven't you! You said that on purpose, didn't you!]
The remaining guests continued one by one:
Cheng Qin: "Even though I'm a woman, I have a pretty big appetite too... I'm afraid I wouldn't get enough, so I'd divide them into three equal portions."
Gu Yichen: "The child gets one. Children need to grow. My wife and I would share the other. Adults can go a little hungry."
Duan Xuanyu: "Both go to my wife."
The host asked, "Then, Mr. Duan, what would you and the child eat?"
Duan Xuanyu: "I'd eat the child."
The corners of the host's mouth twitched. "..."
[Great, a cannibal! We're saved!]
[Holy shit! The historical records were true! The tyrant really does steam children and eat them!]
[Pfft, hahaha, tyrant guy is getting more and more absurd.]
In fact, Duan Xuanyu didn't eat children. He had said that mainly out of pique.
Because while reading history on his phone the night before, he had discovered that many people described him as a child-eating tyrant.
He badly wanted to argue that he didn't eat children, but unfortunately, without an ID, he couldn't register an account and couldn't argue back.
So he simply stopped trying to explain.
Finally, it was Su Mian's turn.
Su Mian: "I'd give both flatbreads to my husband."
[Wait, Sister Mian, you were pretty sharp these last few days! You weren't a love-brain! Why are you making yourself and your child suffer now?]
[Whoever you are, get out of our Teacher Su's body right now!]
At the other end of the sofa, Fang Nuonuo curled her lip in disdain.
Su Mian was actually starting to copy her considerate persona.
Copycat!
But to everyone's surprise, Su Mian continued, "Then I'd film my husband ignoring me and our child, post it online, and get netizens to cyberbully him."
[Wait, what??]
[Hahaha, of course. That's our girl!]
[...I take back what I just said about you being a love-brain.]
Su Mian continued, "Once I go viral, I'll start selling products on livestream."
"That way, everyone in our family will have food!"
[Great, a sales champion! We're saved!]
[Sister Mian hasn't forgotten her original goal! She really wants to get rich!]
[I'm shipping her and tyrant guy again! One gives everything to her husband, and the other gives everything to his wife! Sob, sob, sob, they love each other so much!]
[...Wait? Something's not right here! Neither of them is giving everything to the other out of love, are they?]