Several days after the Whiplash incident, Rimuru realized his own shortcomings and resolved to learn from the painful experience. Actually, Tony had been mocking him for days, and he'd finally snapped.
First, get Pepper a powerful bodyguard.
Second, make a new suit of armor and thoroughly trounce Tony, so Tony would know what an insurmountable peak looked like.
Gillvalis, tell Tony I'm going out for a while. I might be gone a few days, or maybe longer.
Rimuru found inspiration for the bodyguard in Tony's garage. Who would be wary of a car? Isn't that right, Brother Optimus?
System! Get to work!
System: ...
"I think I should send you to a world with advanced medicine first, so you can get your brain checked."
Space shattered, and the familiar pull came again, followed by another trip through what felt like a tumble dryer.
Bleurgh! Bleurgh!
System, can't you improve this teleportation? I feel carsick every time. If someone saw me in such a sorry state, how could I show my face again?
"Be grateful. For a transfer across cosmic dimensions, you got off easy. Your soul and body only separated a little. You're lucky I didn't shake you apart like an egg," the system said in its usual obnoxious tone.
What do you mean, "only"? Why is Gillvalis fine?
System: ?
"Do you really have to compare yourself to an artificial intelligence?"
Gillvalis, access the global network and see where we are.
Spacetime coordinates: unknown universe ・ suspected Earth ・ desert in western North America
Rimuru braced his hands on his knees and dry-heaved for a long time before finally managing to straighten up. Gillvalis's detached bass voice sounded just then:
"Sir, I have accessed this world's public data network. Comparing our current coordinates with online information confirms that we are on Earth, in the year 2007 AD. However, there are anomalies."
"Anomalies?"
"This world's technology tree is significantly skewed, particularly in materials science, energy technology, and artificial intelligence. In addition, there is a large volume of encrypted military communication on the global network, with frequent references to 'non-Earth-native mechanical lifeforms,' 'energon cubes,' and 'Cybertron.' I recommend raising our alert level."
That's right, then. Looks like we got it right this time.
System: "What do you mean? What do you mean, we got it right this time?"
Rimuru: What do I mean, what do I mean? I think you know what I mean.
System: "I'm asking you what you mean precisely because I know what you mean."
Rimuru: "You already know what I mean, yet you're still asking me what I mean. Is that fun?"
System: "What you mean is very interesting. Unfortunately, next time I teleport you, I'm going to shake the bile out of you (▼へ▼メ)."
Rimuru: "Damn, that's not funny. I don't even have any bile."
System: "Then I'll shake you longer, until you stop talking tough."
(=ﾟДﾟ=)!
After saying that, the system played dead. No matter how Rimuru called out to it, it didn't respond.
Damn it, you beast.
After spending so long having a heartfelt exchange with the system, could they talk this over and not do it? The system went straight back to playing dead.
Damn you, isn't this picking on an honest person?
He didn't know how far the story had progressed. He'd go check out Hoover Dam first; the AllSpark was there.
With that, Rimuru prepared to open a portal.
He waved his hands around for ages, but all he got was a spark. Where was the portal?
"Don't bother. This isn't your Marvel Universe. That's magic, and it's incompatible with this universe, unless you reach a very high level."
Why didn't you say so earlier? You just watched me waving my hands around. Was that fun?
"Yep. The way you were waving your hands around just now looked really stupid."
System, you... (several hundred words omitted)
Luckily, Gillvalis had teleportation capabilities. Otherwise, Rimuru would have had to fly there himself.
"Starting the quantum jump sequence, sir." Gillvalis's bass voice was steady and calm. White light welled up beneath Rimuru's feet and enveloped his body. After a brief sensation of weightlessness, the desert before him was instantly replaced by a cold, immense concrete structure: the heart of Hoover Dam, at the very top of Sector Seven.
The view from above was quite spectacular.
"I have successfully infiltrated Sector Seven's internal network and disabled all surveillance and alarm systems. Warning: an extremely highly classified energy signature has been detected. It closely matches the description of the AllSpark in the database. Multiple large mechanical life signals have also been detected, belonging to two opposing factions. They are concealed and exhibiting low activity."
"Nice work, Gillvalis."
Rimuru rubbed his temples. The aftereffects of teleportation hadn't completely worn off. "Now, let's take a quiet peek at that big cube first."
He activated the skill Mimicry, turned into an insect, and slipped inside the dam.
In the center of the vast underground chamber, a cube-the AllSpark-lay quietly within an elaborate energy containment device, giving off a faint blue glow. Even after being heavily suppressed, its immense energy fluctuations still made Rimuru's skin tingle.
"What a wonderful creation." Rimuru's eyes sparkled with excitement. Once he got his hands on this thing, would he still have to worry about the Decepticons disobeying him? The Autobots would be even less of a problem. Then he could hold the emperor hostage and command the lords.
But why did this thing look so big?
Seriously, why was it so big? It looked much bigger than in the movie. A person standing next to it looked about as big as a bug.
With something this big, even if he could swallow it, they couldn't possibly just stand there and watch, could they?
Did he have to wait for Bumblebee to shrink it?
Witwicky and Bumblebee didn't seem to have been captured yet either. The timing was a little off; it seemed he was a little too early.
Gillvalis, is there any news about a meteorite falling?
"There have been no similar reports, but a military base was destroyed by an unknown force, suspected to be an unknown mechanical lifeform."
That should have been Blackout. The Decepticons really were tyrannical.
"Should I activate Virtual Planet Kuscia and wipe out these unnecessary lifeforms?"
No! Calm down! Stop wanting to wipe out lifeforms at every turn. Your philosophy could rival Thanos's.
If I remember right, Unicron is inside Earth in the Transformers world. If he wakes up, this planet is finished.
There's a Celestial under Earth in the Marvel Universe too. Why do these foreigners always like stuffing things inside Earth?
I wonder how far along Witwicky, the protagonist, is now. Has he played a fun game of chase with Barricade yet?
Wait, something's not right. The movie didn't seem to say exactly where the protagonist was. He seemed to be a high school student in the movie, though. What was the school called again?
Never mind. Gillvalis, get to work. Find someone named Witwicky and his car.
Meanwhile, our protagonist Witwicky was out trying to pick up girls in Bumblebee, looking every bit the simp, unaware that three different groups were already coming for him.