I'm the Villain? But All the Heroines Are My Beloved Consorts!
Chapter 9

You Called Me Trash? When I Go Mad, Even I Am Afraid of Myself

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The Grand Commandant's residence, training ground, early morning.

Gu Moran pressed the Pain-Numbing Pill under his tongue, and its bitterness slid down his throat.

He could spare himself some pain, but he couldn't lose face.

If he couldn't withstand three moves, the Grand Commandant's blade would not return to its sheath.

Lin Zhenshan had shed his outer robe and stood opposite him with a four-foot ring-pommel saber in hand. Its spine was thick and heavy; when it touched the ground, fine cracks spread across the bricks.

"Third Prince, do you remember the rules clearly?"

"Clearly. Three moves."

"If you can't withstand them, the marriage will be postponed."

"And if I can?"

"I will acknowledge the match."

Gu Moran looked at the cracks in the ground, then at the sword he had borrowed for the occasion, and smiled a somewhat cheeky smile.

"Grand Commandant, let me ask you something first."

"Please, Your Highness."

"Are these three moves a test of courage or martial skill?"

Lin Zhenshan's brows lowered.

"Is there a difference?"

"There is."

Gu Moran raised the tip of his sword and pointed it at his chest.

"If it's martial skill, I'll summon an imperial physician right now."

Lin Zhenshan stared at him without answering.

Gu Moran continued, "If it's courage, I'm standing right here. Swing away."

Wind swept fine sand across the training ground and over their boots.

In the corner tower, Lin Qingdai leaned on the railing, her gaze fixed on Gu Moran.

Her maid said softly, "Miss, the Third Prince sounds quite convincing."

Lin Qingdai didn't look away.

"Let's see if he can stay standing through the third move first."

Lin Zhenshan lifted his ring-pommel saber.

"Your Highness, my saber doesn't play games."

"Perfect."

Gu Moran gripped the sword hilt, the web of his hand tingling from the Pain-Numbing Pill. Only one line remained in his mind.

Don't win.

Don't retreat.

Make Lin Zhenshan unable to take back his word.

The first saber strike swept toward him.

The wind from the blade pressed against his chest. Gu Moran didn't block it head-on; he angled his sword to intercept it and stepped back with the force of the blow.

The sword broke.

Half the blade flew away and embedded itself in a wooden post at the edge of the training ground.

Gu Moran retreated three steps, his boot soles scraping white marks across the bricks. His wrist had been grazed, and blood dripped onto the ground.

It didn't hurt.

He only felt warmth welling out.

He glanced down, then raised the broken sword.

"Does that count as the first move?"

Lin Zhenshan drew back his saber, his expression changing slightly.

"It counts."

Gu Moran reversed his grip on the broken sword and shook the blood from his hand.

"Grand Commandant, don't hold back on the second move."

Lin Zhenshan snorted.

"You're bold enough to say it, Your Highness."

"I'm afraid that if you hold back, Miss Lin will say I got through by pulling strings."

In the corner tower, the maid couldn't help looking at Lin Qingdai.

"Miss, he even mentioned you."

Lin Qingdai stared at the bleeding hand.

"He talks too much."

The second strike came chopping down from above.

Gu Moran didn't meet it. He planted the broken sword against the ground and used the hilt to flip sideways out of the way.

The blade struck the bricks where he had just stood, sending fragments of stone flying against his boots.

The saber's Qi swept across his shoulder, opening a cut and tearing his clothes.

The Pain-Numbing Pill suppressed the pain, but his body still knew danger.

Gu Moran landed on one knee, his palm pressed against the rough gray bricks, his hand covered in dust.

He looked up.

"That counts as the second move too, right?"

Lin Zhenshan looked at the cracked bricks on the ground and waited half a breath before speaking.

"It counts."

Gu Moran leaned on the broken sword to stand and patted the dust from the hem of his robe.

"One move left."

Lin Zhenshan didn't move immediately.

"Your Highness, I will use my full strength for the third move."

"Good."

"If Your Highness admits defeat now, no word of it will leave the Grand Commandant's residence."

"Will Miss Lin know?"

In the corner tower, Lin Qingdai's hand stilled on the railing.

Lin Zhenshan glanced at the corner tower.

"She will."

"Then that's no good."

Gu Moran raised the broken sword, blood running down his wrist onto the hilt.

"My father-in-law can knock me flat, but I can't chicken out in front of the woman I haven't married yet."

Lin Zhenshan's face twitched.

"Third Prince, mind your words."

"The imperial decree granting the marriage has already been issued. My words are quite sound."

Lin Zhenshan raised his saber and stepped forward, stirring a circle of dust across the entire training ground.

The third strike came.

Gu Moran didn't retreat.

He charged forward, flicking the broken sword upward along the saber's spine. Its tip grazed the back of Lin Zhenshan's hand.

It was very shallow.

It didn't even draw blood.

The spine of the ring-pommel saber struck his ribs, sending him staggering several steps sideways.

Gu Moran crashed into a wooden post. A dull sensation spread through his back, and a metallic taste rose in his throat.

It didn't hurt.

But it nearly knocked the breath out of him.

He steadied himself against the post and raised a hand to wipe the blood from his lips.

Lin Zhenshan looked down at the white mark on the back of his hand.

The training ground fell silent.

Gu Moran spoke. "Grand Commandant, that was to show you that you can knock me down, but I can touch you too."

Lin Zhenshan looked at him for a long time.

"Have you trained, Your Highness?"

"No."

"Then why did you dare charge?"

"Because I want to marry Lin Qingdai."

Gu Moran tossed the broken sword to the ground, where it landed with a short metallic clatter.

"She is the Grand Commandant's daughter."

"If I don't even dare face three of your moves, why should she believe I can protect her when we run into something more dangerous in the future?"

In the corner tower, Lin Qingdai pressed her lips together and said nothing.

The maid said softly, "Miss, he passed."

Lin Qingdai let go of the railing.

"I saw."

Lin Zhenshan sheathed his saber and cupped his fists toward Gu Moran.

"The three moves are over."

"I will report to His Majesty that the Grand Commandant's residence accepts the decree."

Gu Moran cupped his fists in return.

"Thank you, Father-in-law."

Lin Zhenshan's face darkened.

"The marriage hasn't happened yet."

"It's only a matter of time."

"Your Highness should get those injuries treated first."

Gu Moran looked down at his battered body.

"I was just about to stop by the Imperial Medical Bureau."

Lin Zhenshan frowned.

"You're still going, in that condition?"

"The Shen Family is waiting to test me too."

Lin Zhenshan was silent for a moment, then turned and instructed the steward.

"Prepare a carriage to take the Third Prince there."

Gu Moran waved a hand.

"No need."

He looked toward the corner tower and smiled.

"I'll walk there, so no one can say I was carried out of the Grand Commandant's residence."

Standing in the shadow of the corner tower, Lin Qingdai heard this and turned to go downstairs.

The maid hurried after her.

"Miss, are we still sending the medicine for his injuries?"

"Yes."

"To whom?"

"Send it to the Imperial Medical Bureau."

Lin Qingdai didn't slow her steps.

"Someone from the Grand Commandant's residence injured him. We can't let the Shen Family laugh at us over it."

Half an hour later, in the rear hall of the Imperial Medical Bureau.

Gu Moran had changed his outer robe, and his wounds had been bandaged simply. He still carried a faint smell of blood.

Before a medicine cabinet, Shen Ling'er was sorting through small porcelain bottles. The room was thick with the scent of medicine, its bitterness pressing against his nose.

She looked up at him, turning the porcelain bottle in her hand halfway around.

"I greet Your Highness the Third Prince."

"Dispense with the formalities."

Gu Moran sat down in a chair.

"Miss Shen, whatever the test is, let's get straight to it."

Shen Ling'er looked at the blood seeping through his cuff.

"Did Your Highness just come from the Grand Commandant's residence?"

"Yes."

"Grand Commandant Lin strikes hard, yet Your Highness can still sit here. That saves me quite a bit of trouble."

"How so?"

"I can cut half a part from the test of courage."

Shen Ling'er uncorked the porcelain bottle and held it beneath his nose.

A pungent smell rushed up, making Gu Moran's eyes grow hot.

He pushed the bottle away.

"This doesn't smell like medicine. It smells like one of the Ministry of Punishments' newly developed tools for extracting confessions."

Shen Ling'er blinked.

"Your Highness, can you guess what it is?"

"Angelica root."

Shen Ling'er's fingers stopped.

"Your Highness recognizes it?"

"No."

"Then how did Your Highness guess correctly?"

"The hand you used to hold the bottle was too steady just now. That means it wasn't poison."

Gu Moran pointed at the medicine cabinet.

"Besides, you deliberately chose something with a pungent smell because you wanted to see this prince make a fool of himself."

"Medicine you could use to prank a prince had to be common. Angelica root was the most likely choice."

Shen Ling'er looked at him, her expression a little less demure.

"Your Highness is better at guessing than the rumors say."

"The rumors also say this prince bedded six women in one night. Do you believe that?"

Shen Ling'er coughed.

"Your Highness, please be careful what you say."

"All right, next test."

Shen Ling'er pushed out a small table.

Twelve white porcelain bowls stood on it, all filled with clear water, their surfaces reflecting the light and shadows outside the window.

"The second test."

"One of these twelve bowls of water has medicine in it."

Gu Moran looked at her.

"What medicine?"

"If consumed, it will cause diarrhea for three days."

"Miss Shen, are you testing my medical skills or trying to murder a prince?"

Shen Ling'er immediately curtsied.

"I wouldn't dare."

She paused, then added another sentence.

"If Your Highness is afraid, you may decline the test."

Gu Moran looked at the twelve bowls.

Drinking them was unnecessary.

Guessing was uncertain.

Flipping the table would make him lose his composure.

Then he would change the rules.

He picked up the first bowl and examined its color.

He picked up the second bowl and smelled it.

For the third bowl, he dipped a fingertip into it and touched it to his lips.

Shen Ling'er watched his movements, her breathing growing lighter.

Gu Moran tested all twelve bowls.

Then he stood up.

"This prince has made his choice."

Shen Ling'er asked, "Which bowl?"

Gu Moran picked up the twelve bowls one by one and poured them all into a nearby flowerpot.

The water seeped into the soil, and the smell of damp earth suppressed the smell of medicine.

Shen Ling'er's smile froze on her face.

"What does Your Highness mean by this?"

End of Chapter
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