Early the next morning.
Chenyu Vale, Yilong Wharf.
"The sun shines in the sky, the flowers smile at me, the little bird says: good morning, morning, morning~"
Wearing a skintight tank top, Shen Luolun hummed a tune as he stretched in the courtyard.
The morning set the tone for the day. Only a regular schedule and exercise could give him a strong, healthy body.
As a veteran Lv.2 author who updated more than ten thousand characters a day, he absolutely couldn't neglect his health.
Otherwise, if he suddenly ascended one day, he wouldn't be able to update his novel for his dear esteemed readers.
Esteemed readers: I'm crying my eyes out. You'd still be thinking about us even if you dropped dead? Haki work.
Just as Shen Luolun started the second set of radio calisthenics-
"Lulu." Guoba came through the gate on his short little legs, carrying two bags of steaming hot buns.
"Oh, Guoba, you bought breakfast."
"Lulu."
"Oh, Xiangling's still asleep. Just put them on the dining table in the living room."
"Lulu."
"I'm going out for some fermented mung bean milk later~ You can eat the buns."
Guoba: (*^▽^*)
Yay, I get to eat an extra portion again.
After Guoba left, Shen Luolun began his workout.
"One, two, three, four; two, two, three, four; three, two, three, four; four, two, three, four..."
As he called out the counts, he performed the textbook calisthenics movements to perfection, flowing smoothly from one to the next.
He had reproduced the original almost exactly.
At this level, back in his previous life, his performance could at least have been engraved on an antique disc for his junior schoolmates to study day and night!
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)✧
Four minutes and seven seconds later.
"Twelve, two, three, four, five, six, seven, stop-"
He lowered his hands and stood still.
Shen Luolun opened his eyes and let out a long breath.
After one full set, his qi and blood surged!
That felt great!
[Ding~ Congratulations on awakening the Daily Calisthenics System. Complete your daily calisthenics for physique +1.]
Really?!
[Ding~ Of course not.]
Tch~
Shen Luolun curled his lip and banished the unrealistic fantasy from his head.
If only I really could awaken a system.
Lying flat and getting stronger for no reason would be bliss.
Unfortunately, this is Fanqie.
After finishing his calisthenics, he did another two or three sets of stretches to relax his muscles. Then he went back to his room, picked up his thermos of freshly brewed flower tea, and headed out for a walk.
With Yilong Wharf's wonderful surroundings and weather, not going out for a stroll in the morning would have been such a waste. It was like Fufu shyly raising her leg for you to take off her white stockings, only for you to ask which hair removal cream she wanted-completely missing the mood.
Huh? You're asking what the fuck kind of comparison that is?
Obviously, my brain just came up with it on a whim. Ehe.
Carrying his thermos, Master Shen strolled leisurely down the street like a high-ranking official, his hands behind his back.
Perhaps it was because it was morning, or perhaps the effects of yesterday's Emotion-Forsaking Beef Noodles still lingered, but there were very, very few people on the streets. Even the elderly men and women who usually swept the streets were nowhere to be seen, and only one breakfast shop was open. That seemed to be where Guoba had bought the buns.
"I wonder how Lumine and the others are doing. There's still no definite word. Did they catch the mastermind or not?" Recalling what had happened yesterday, Shen Luolun rubbed his chin.
Lumine, Yelan, and the others had gone to Cuijue Slope yesterday afternoon. By rights, there should have been news by evening.
But the night had passed uneventfully.
They hadn't even sent word back.
"Still no news. Could the enemy be really troublesome?" He thought for a moment, then shook his head. "But no matter how troublesome they are, could they be more troublesome than a god?"
Shen Luolun recalled what Zhongli had said: Lumine had defeated the Sovereign of Death in Snezhnaya!
With strength like that, Lumine had probably reached the level of a top-tier powerhouse by now. Add her protagonist's halo, and what enemy could possibly stump her?
Could some mere mastermind, a small fry who could only stir up trouble with contraband, beat your Big Sis Lumine?
"Then again, it's not impossible. Lumine's strength fluctuates all the time. She's clearly terrifyingly strong, yet she's always getting locked in close fights with cannon fodder. She's mastered so many kinds of elemental power, but she still faints now and then..."
Recalling Lumine's moments of glory and embarrassing performances in the game's story, Shen Luolun shook his head.
"But with Yelan and Lan Yan there, nothing should go wrong. And even if something does happen, there's still Old Master Zhong."
Lost in thought, he walked on, when suddenly-
Splat!
A sticky sensation, like he had stepped in a strawberry tart, came from under his foot.
What the heck?
What did I step on?
Shen Luolun hurriedly looked down and flexed his foot, only to see a puddle of green goo clinging stubbornly to his sole, stretching into strings.
"Ew! What is this stuff?"
Shen Luolun's face immediately twisted with disgust.
What bastard spat out their unfinished chewing gum here?!
Have you got any public decency at all?!
Stuff like this was the hardest to scrape off a shoe, even harder to get than a certain ice Hunt unit in another world.
Shen Luolun hurriedly rubbed his shoe against the ground, trying to grind the "gum" off.
But in the process, he seemed to hear some faint screams and angry curses.
"Huh? Was someone just shouting?"
Shen Luolun paused and hurriedly looked around.
But aside from him, there was only a cat sage bending over in a squat, making two V signs above its head, sticking out its tongue, and sporting a succubus mark.
"There's nobody here. Did I hear things?"
Muttering to himself, he waved the horny cat away.
"Forget it. I'll scrape this thing off and head back. Xiangling should be getting up soon."
He still had to help Xiangling prepare ingredients for the Cuisine Machine Test today, so he didn't have much free time left.
With that, his foot moved several times faster.
After some effort,
Shen Luolun finally wiped the lump of "gum" onto the ground and breathed a sigh of relief.
But strangely enough, those inexplicable sounds had disappeared too.
"Maybe I've been typing too much lately. I'm so tired my ears are ringing."
It was normal to hear things after writing novels for a long time.
Not paying it much mind, Shen Luolun shrugged, turned around, and left.
But what he didn't know was that the layer of gum he had wiped onto the ground suddenly moved.
One-Eye was unlucky.
Extremely unlucky!
If he had a chance to confront Alice, he would definitely say, "Fuck eight a.m. classes!"
(╥﹏╥)
That bitch.
She had chased him all the way, refusing to let up.
He had used every means at his disposal, even exhausting the weapons he had kept in reserve, and had only barely managed to shake them off.
He had fled into Yilong Wharf, planning to regroup and make a comeback-
Then something even unluckier happened!
"Hey! Foolish human, submit before the King of Plankton!"
One-Eye had stood arrogantly in front of a human, shouting for him to submit.
What greeted him was a giant foot that blotted out the sky.
With a splat, he was flattened into a puddle and stuck to the bottom of that human's foot.
One-Eye was shocked and furious.
An utter humiliation! An utter humiliation!
Cursing, he vowed to kill him!
But not long after the thought of revenge had arisen, that enormous foot actually began rubbing against the ground, and it fucking sped up.
One-Eye screamed again and again as his body was repeatedly crushed, dancing back and forth before death's door.
He seemed to see his ancestors at 240 frames per second.
"@#&￥%..."
One-Eye cursed filthily.
Fortunately, the human hadn't tormented him for too long. After shaking him off, he had left.
"Humans, I shall settle every old grudge!"
Having returned to his original form, One-Eye swore that he would enslave every human here, pay them back double for the humiliation he had suffered, and make them feel his pain too!
"I hear the humans here hate a kind of being called 'capitalists' most of all."
"Hehehe, then I'll start by becoming a capitalist-the greatest capitalist in the world!"
One-Eye: Tremble in terror, humans! You will suffer the pain of enslavement!
Humans: Y-you, how are you going to enslave us?
One-Eye: From now on, you'll work a full eight hours every day, with only three meals and snacks provided per day. You'll only get milk in the morning, and your lunch break will be just one hour! Haha, you'll die of exhaustion!
Humans: W-what... Thank you.
One-Eye: Huh? (surprised) Earth's capitalists are even more twisted than I thought. Then experience true terror!
Overtime will only earn you triple pay, you'll be forced to exercise for an hour after work, and you'll only get psychological counseling one day a week!
Humans: S-son, quick, call him godfather.
Bullshit, he's my real father!
One-Eye: ...I may have underestimated this civilization. Last time, I gave each of the Treasure Hoarders I hired one or two million Mora a month.
Hmph! But what comes next is true hellish torture-
You'll only get bonuses three times a year and just two months of annual leave. Most vicious of all, you'll only get a raise once every four months!
Humans: Master...
One-Eye: Hehe (smugly), can't take it, can you?
Humans: I'm yours for the rest of my life!
One-Eye: ???
Just as One-Eye was gloating over his evil scheme, a woman's voice suddenly came from behind him-lively and delighted, yet it made his skin crawl-
"Found you, Miniature One-Eyed Tyrant."
No-!