Grant Me My Favorite Slaps

"Give me a 100,000 one!"

He slammed the table heavily, his expression twisted as he said it.

Wu Di casually pulled out a scratch-off ticket and pushed it in front of him.

"What you're looking for might be inside, scratch it off quickly!"

Danzo took a deep breath and picked up a coin, slowly scratching off the coating.

Suddenly, a golden light flashed.

His eyes lit up in response.

In the blink of an eye, a white, fluffy bun flew out from the ticket.

Looking at the instructions, Wu Di almost burst out laughing.

"This bun is called the Little Bun of Repentance."

"After eating it, you will repent for the bad things you have done."

"Truly a good medicine for traveling, living, and cultivating oneself!"

Danzo suddenly slammed the counter, pointed at Wu Di's nose, and roared, "Are you f***ing playing me?!"

Wu Di shrugged lightly, a dismissive smile on his face.

"How can you say I'm playing you? It's your own bad luck, who can you blame?"

Danzo's face darkened. The soaring blood pressure made him feel dizzy, and his fists clenched with a crackling sound.

"Guards, tear down this little shop for me!"

He shouted without looking back, and immediately, over a dozen Anbu members rushed in.

Wu Di watched him with a smile, showing no sign of nervousness, and said in a low voice.

"If you want to tear down my little shop, you need a reason, don't you!"

Danzo unconsciously curled his pinky finger, pointing at every corner of the shop.

"According to the Konoha Village Merchant Management Regulations, your shop's procedures are incomplete, and I have the right to dismantle it!"

"Oh? Is that so?" Wu Di raised his eyebrows.

He had been in the world of Hokage for some time.

This was the first time he had heard that Konoha Village had such a bizarre regulation.

However, as long as he was in the shop, even if a naive Ōtsutsuki came, he could handle her completely.

Let alone these stray dogs of the Anbu!

"Tear it down!"

Danzo screamed hoarsely.

Wu Di's expression suddenly changed. He raised his hands, about to impale him, when Tsunade's majestic voice came from outside.

"Who dares!"

Accompanied by a boom, Tsunade slowly entered the shop.

She glanced sideways at the pink-clad Danzo, her face showing a look of disdain.

"I like this shop very much. Do you still want to make a move?"

Danzo pouted resentfully, his eyes showing a hint of fierceness.

The woman in front of him had always been arrogant, relying on being the First Hokage's granddaughter to do whatever she pleased in the village.

He waved his hand and said, "This shop violates the Konoha Merchant Management Regulations. Are you going to interfere as well?"

"Konoha Merchant Management Regulations?" Tsunade frowned, "How have I never heard of this bizarre regulation?"

As she spoke, her gaze shifted down, and she saw the bun in Danzo's hand and snorted.

"Are you hungry? Eat first. You don't need to worry about things here."

Then, with extreme speed, she snatched the bun directly from Danzo's hand and stuffed it into his mouth.

Danzo's eyes widened, and his facial expression underwent a drastic change.

Tears of regret welled up in his old eyes.

Then, he slowly knelt on the ground, clutching his chest with both hands, and wailed.

"I am a sinner of the Shimura clan!"

"To cultivate the Sunflower Manual, I cut off my lineage, without considering the continuation of the race."

"I am also a sinner of Konoha Village!"

"For my own selfish desires, I casually made up a reason to flatten this scratch-off ticket shop, without considering everyone's feelings."

Seeing his tearful appearance, the Anbu ninja who had followed him covered their eyes in shame.

They knew what Danzo was like.

If they dared to remember what happened today, once he recovered, he would absolutely not let them see the sun tomorrow.

Danzo crawled over and grabbed Tsunade's thigh, shaking it vigorously.

"Tsunade, I beg you, bestow upon me my favorite slaps! I truly have no face to see the elders of Konoha again!"

"After you hit me, I'll tell you even more infuriating things!"

Tsunade was a little confused.

Everyone in the village knew about her immense strength. What was wrong with Danzo to actually want her to slap him?

However, it was rare to encounter such a satisfying request.

She swung her arm wide.

"Slap!"

With a crisp sound, Danzo flew out and knocked himself unconscious on the stove of Ichiraku Ramen.

Seeing this, the Anbu ninjas rushed over, quickly carried Danzo away, and took advantage of the chaos to leave.

After these people left, the scratch-off ticket shop became lively again.

Tsunade turned around, swaying her upper body, and said with a laugh, "I helped you solve a big problem today, how will you thank me?"

Wu Di scratched his head.

He really wanted to tell Tsunade the truth, that even without her, those insignificant pests like Danzo wouldn't have done anything to him.

However, considering Tsunade was a high-value customer, he said against his will, "Then I'll give you a scratch-off ticket!"

Afterward, he reluctantly took out a scratch-off ticket worth one hundred Ryo from behind.

"Stingy!" Tsunade muttered under her breath, then waved her hand and said, "Forget it, I'm not interested in a hundred Ryo scratch-off ticket. Give me three ten-thousand Ryo ones!"

Wu Di took out three scratch-off tickets and looked behind Tsunade, his legs crossed.

"Lord Tsunade, didn't you bring Shizune today?"

"No, there are still some things to deal with at the Chunin Exam. Let me see if I can scratch something out!" Tsunade said with sparkling eyes.

Then, she picked up a coin and began to scratch vigorously.

As expected, after scratching all three tickets, not a single bit of golden light appeared.

Tsunade sighed, as if she had already expected the outcome.

"Never mind, I'll leave if I didn't win. I'll come back in a few days."

Wu Di rubbed his hands with a smile.

"Alright! Lord Tsunade, please take care."

As soon as Tsunade left the small shop, a ninja wearing a dirt-yellow outfit and a Grass Village forehead protector entered right behind her.

Looking at the person's face, Wu Di was all too familiar with him.

No need to guess, beneath this unassuming exterior, there was definitely a soul obsessed with scientific research.

"Give me a scratch-off ticket too!" he said slowly.

Wu Di told him the prices and also explained the rule that the more expensive the scratch-off ticket, the better the prize.

He knew that Orochimaru was considered one of the wealthiest individuals in the Naruto world. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been able to sustain his research expenses over the years.

Orochimaru pointed at Tsunade, who was walking away in the distance, and asked, "How expensive was the one she bought just now?"

Wu Di chuckled, "You're talking about Lord Tsunade. She bought one for ten thousand Ryo each."

"Then give me one for ten thousand Ryo each too!" Orochimaru took out a ten-thousand Ryo silver note from his pocket.

Then, he picked up the coin and gently scratched the coating.

Halfway through scratching, a golden light suddenly flashed.

A glint of surprise appeared in Orochimaru's eyes.

Soon after, a melon-shaped grenade floated out from the ticket.

Looking at the grenade's description, Wu Di's stomach churned. He couldn't imagine the bizarre scene.

"The item you scratched out is called a Herring Can Grenade! It's a mental damage weapon!"

[Author's Note]: Friends who have read this far have likely gained a general understanding of Ke Meng's style. There will be more hilarious chapters to come, so please stay tuned