Xie Jinghui's emotional reaction also revealed his rare vulnerability.
Although Shen Shuangjian didn't know why he said that, he could sense that Xie Jinghui's emotions were clearly very wrong.
Shen Shuangjian couldn't understand where Xie Jinghui's emotions and sorrow came from, so he could only let Xie Jinghui hold him like that for a very long time.
" Zhizhi, when will I finally be able to appear in your room openly and legitimately?"
Xie Jinghui used to think that he was easily satisfied. It seemed that as long as he could look at Shen Shuangjian, stay by his side, take care of him, and protect him, Xie Jinghui would feel happy and content.
But slowly, he became greedy and wanted to be the only one. He wanted to hold Shen Shuangjian's hand, share a bed with her, and have Shen Shuangjian's gaze fixed solely on him.
But later, he fell too blindly in love, and Shen Shuangjian was too reserved.
At that time, he thought that knowing he was safe and happy, even if he spent his whole life outside the boundary, it wouldn't be so bad.
But now, Xie Jinghui finally realized that he was so insatiable.
He began to crave love, the love Shen Shuangjian would give him.
If not, try to feel it from other places.
For example, a casual kiss, or a reluctant indulgence.
In these fragments, Xie Jinghui is finally able to grasp the subtle, almost imperceptible, affection that belongs to Shen Shuangjian.
Like a butterfly fluttering its wings in the Southern Ocean, bringing a gentle breeze, it descends from thousands of miles away, yet it always mercilessly destroys Xie Jinghui's world.
Those who suffer always remain silent.
Xie Jinghui willingly accepted the ruins and diligently rebuilt the collapsed world.
But every moment after the reconstruction, every brick and every tile, will forever bear the shadow of the butterfly.
Like a shadow, it follows me everywhere, lingering and never leaving.
"When will I no longer have to secretly love you, hiding it from everyone?"
"I've heard that every couple in love goes on dates together after they get together."
What is a date like?
Throughout the first half of Xie Jinghui's life, he never took the initiative to learn about such a boring and meaningless action.
But if it's with Shen Shuangjian, the word "date" instantly transforms into a heart-fluttering anticipation and surprise.
"Let's go on a date after we get back to China."
Xie Jinghui's voice was slow and gentle. He leaned close to Shen Shuangjian's ear, and his gaze was just as gentle as his voice.
"We tried all the things that normal people do after falling in love."
"Every day from now on, I will tell you—I love you, I love you so much."
Shen Shuangjian should have been angry with Xie Jinghui for his fickleness and bullying.
He should condemn Xie Jinghui for kissing him so fiercely against his will; he should scold Xie Jinghui, avoid him, and stop him from biting his ear.
But listening to Xie Jinghui's voice and looking into his eyes, he only felt that Xie Jinghui was so sad at that moment...
He seemed to be in great pain, yet also deeply moved; a contradictory mix of sorrow and resentment filled the man before me.
Shen Shuangjian blinked, somewhat bewildered. So at this moment, Shen Shuangjian didn't push him away from the embrace, but simply leaned on his shoulder and quietly lowered her eyes.
" Shen Shuangjian, Shen Zhizhi, why do I never feel satisfied when I hold you?"
Why have I never seen you truly happy?
"What exactly will make you feel truly at ease and happy?"
Xie Jinghui's question was delicate yet simple, but it was one that even Shen Shuangjian herself couldn't answer.
Because even he himself had forgotten how long it had been since he had laughed heartily.
When Mingming was little, the slide that went down from a height would make him raise his hands and laugh so hard that his eyes were completely hidden.
But gradually, the slides became useless, the stories became useless, and even funny movies and comical things became useless.
Even as he grew up, the number of times he even managed a slight smile became extremely rare.
He asked himself what it takes to feel happy, but Shen Shuangjian couldn't answer that question at all.
So he remained silent for a long time in Xie Jinghui's arms.
Unable to get any response, Xie Jinghui could only close his eyes helplessly and gently kissed Shen Shuangjian's ear.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let my emotions affect you."
Sensing Shen Shuangjian's unease, he loosened his grip and instead cupped Shen Shuangjian face in his hands.
His gaze was tender, his eyes brimming with love, and even in their deepest depths, they were adorned with endless pity.
"I like Shen Shuangjian, and I want to Shen Shuangjian."
Shen Shuangjian met his gaze and heard his voice, gentle and devout.
"I will love him forever, I will love him until the end of my life, whether in poverty or wealth, in sickness or health, I will stay by his side."
When people feel loved, to what extent will their emotions overflow?
Shen Shuangjian found it difficult to respond.
But at this moment, the long-standing calm and aloofness in his eyes was gradually melting away.
Shen Shuangjian lowered her eyes, her long eyelashes trembling, her slender white fingers gripping Xie Jinghui's collar, and tilted her head back to slowly kiss him.
If a proactive kiss could ease his sadness, Shen Shuangjian thought, he wasn't actually that unwilling.
"I agree to go on a date with you."
The last two words clearly hit a nerve that would Shen Shuangjian blush; his tone was very soft, almost swallowed up by his breath.
Fortunately, Xie Jinghui heard it.
And it was precisely because of this that Xie Jinghui felt puzzled.
He couldn't understand why there could be someone in this world so adorable, so adorable that they moved him to tears, melting his heart like honey.
Why, when he's sad, try to comfort him with a kiss, mimicking his coaxing behavior?
Why force yourself to suppress your embarrassment and blush as you agree to go on a date with him?
Why do I always let him lose control of the beast locked inside him, roaring with the desire to demand more?
Why could he love Shen Shuangjian so much, to the point of being unable to control himself, to the point of being heartbroken and devastated?
"So, before the date, can I ask my boyfriend for more indulgence?"
Xie Jinghui's hand rested on Shen Shuangjian's waist. He even thought uncontrollably that if Shen Shuangjian did not refuse, he would do something even worse than kissing her.
With her Shen Shuangjian could hardly comprehend the extent of Xie Jinghui's indulgence.
A fierce kiss, or perhaps your ear being gently nibbled and held in your mouth without letting go.
But he attributed all of this to a simple, hesitant, uneasy, and ultimately useless statement—
"No, you can't bully me."