Shen Sixian had assumed he would not refuse, so when Shen Shuangjian shook his head, Shen Sixian felt all the more displeased.
"Brother, there really is no need."
If time could be turned back half a month, to when Shen Shuangjian had just joined the show and was still struggling to adjust to everything, he might have hesitantly agreed.
Because back then, Shen Shuangjian still could not get used to sitting with a group of strangers while cameras filmed his face from every direction.
But Shen Shuangjian was resilient, too. However uncomfortable he felt, however much he disliked it, he had still ignored it as best he could and kept filming until today.
Once filming ended, Shen Shuangjian would no longer have to pay the three million in penalties for breach of contract, and he would receive the five hundred thousand stipulated in the contract.
He could take that money, find a warm city, and move out of the Shen Family home. He would no longer have to endure the gazes of tens of thousands beyond the cameras, or be acutely sensitive to Shen Sixian's shifting moods because he lived under someone else's roof.
In truth, Shen Shuangjian had always known that it was not just Xie Qingchi targeting him at the beginning. There were many other people in this world who disliked him.
Shen Sixian clearly detested him, yet because he was his older brother, he had no choice but to be troubled by him again and again.
Shen Shuangjian had never thought of paying attention to the comments online. Those words that kept pouring in were terms he had never heard before.
"Shen Shuangjian, can you stop being so willful?"
For the first time, Shen Shuangjian raised his eyes to meet Shen Sixian's gaze as he frowned and reprimanded him.
Shen Shuangjian gently withdrew the wrist Shen Sixian held in his palm. In his tea-brown eyes, there was a faint incomprehension, along with their inherent hazy distance, but none of the willfulness Shen Sixian imagined.
"Brother." Shen Shuangjian's voice was detached and cool, distinctly clear as it sounded beside his ear. "I really don't need it."
For the first time, Shen Sixian learned that a clear, warm, gentle voice could use the most ordinary words to say something sharp enough to hook into bone.
"I know you don't like me, and I know you don't want to be troubled by my affairs. When I was at the hospital, I already changed all my emergency contacts to myself."
Perhaps because Shen Shuangjian had such a stunning face, and because his body was so ravaged by illness, people felt that beneath his cold exterior lay a shatterable fragility.
But in fact, Shen Shuangjian had lost both parents when he was young. In all those times he had been tormented by illness, when no one came near and he had no family to turn to, he had taken very good care of himself.
Just as winter frost flowers had never been delicate crimson blossoms that needed someone to cradle them on a branch.
"Brother."
When his voice stopped, Shen Sixian went so still that he almost stopped breathing.
Yet Shen Shuangjian looked straight into his eyes, their hands no longer entwined, the distance between them the safest yet most estranged, along with Shen Shuangjian's calm, earnest words.
"Actually, we don't have to be family."
Just as "brother" could become the most unfamiliar of respectful forms of address, relatives connected only by blood could be thousands of miles apart, and could pass each other one day without a word, each ignoring the other.
In truth, Shen Shuangjian did not need an older brother at all, because when he had been most resistant to and afraid of this show, he had genuinely considered asking Shen Sixian for help.
For someone so deeply reserved, that instant of hesitation had already been a silent plea: Help me.
The bruise on Shen Shuangjian's right leg had yet to be treated, but when he simply stood up like that, Shen Sixian forgot to stop him.
Holding the cotton swab that had nearly snapped between his fingertips, all he could hear in his mind was Shen Shuangjian's offhand remark: We don't have to be family.
Waves of aching numbness slowly rose in his heart. Shen Sixian thought he ought to be angry, ought to assume the authority of an older brother and reprimand Shen Shuangjian for his inappropriate words.
But when he looked up, what he saw was Shen Shuangjian's frail back. In little more than half a month, he had grown thinner still.
The clothes that had originally fit reasonably well were beginning to hang loose on him. He was clearly having some difficulty going upstairs, yet he still stubbornly held on to the banister.
Just like those gauze-wrapped hands, thin and solitary, yet bearing an integrity that would rather break than bend.
This time, Shen Shuangjian spent nearly two and a half hours bathing. His injuries had just been treated with medicine and could not conveniently come into direct contact with water, making the whole process particularly difficult and slow.
Only when the steam in the bathroom made Shen Shuangjian dizzy was he forced to come out with his long hair only half blow-dried.
When Shen Shuangjian emerged, the phone lying at the foot of the bed was repeatedly sounding alerts for incoming messages.
Shen Shuangjian unlocked his phone. At the top of his message list was the staff member assigned by the production team to liaise with him.
[The next shoot starts the day after tomorrow and lasts seven days. The location is the desert in the northwest. Your flight has already been booked. If your personal schedule requires it, you may also travel separately.]
[Oh, and Shuangjian, we'll still be filming a preview episode this time, mainly livestreaming the guests' preparations and packing before departure. Since you were the first to leave, the crew will prioritize filming at your home tomorrow.]
[Would any of that be inconvenient for you?]
Shen Shuangjian replied: [No.]
Further down were messages from Yu Sheng and Xie Jinghui.
Xie Jinghui's messages were neither long nor frequent. He had only briefly informed him of a few things.
Xie Jinghui said: [I've packed up your things. I'll bring them to the Shen Residence myself tomorrow.]
[Have you treated your wounds?]
Shen Shuangjian replied with a brief "Mm," then continued scrolling down and saw the many messages Yu Sheng had sent.
Yu Sheng's WeChat profile picture was from a magazine shoot he had done two years earlier. He had sent Shen Shuangjian many messages on WeChat, persisting even though Shen Shuangjian had never replied.
Yu Sheng: [Brother Shuangjian, I've headed back too!]
Yu Sheng: [We'll get to see each other again when we leave the day after tomorrow. I'm heading back to the capital now too, but Donglin doesn't have an airport. Traveling by car is so exhausting.]
[Are you home yet? Are you asleep? (Well-behaved puppy)]
[We're going to the desert next! There'll be so much to bring. Is there anything you need? I can buy it and bring it along, so you won't have to pack it in your own suitcase.]
[I'm in the capital. Want to eat together tomorrow?]
[Hahaha, look at this video, it's so funny.]
[Brother Shuangjian, how about paying a little attention to me? Even dogs have their dignity.]
[A friend asked me to go out tomorrow, but I turned them down. Come to think of it, I've never gone out with you before, Brother Shuangjian.]
[I'm off to shower!]
[Even though I'm showering, that won't stop me from replying. (Waiting puppy)]
Paired with the young man's radiant smile in his profile picture, those words were enthusiastic and harmless.
Shen Shuangjian gently lowered his eyes, his fingers moving slightly.
And so, in the bathroom, Yu Sheng, who was showering with a head full of suds, heard the priority alert for his specially followed contact. His eyes flew open, and he quickly turned off the shower.
Through his blurred vision, he saw a brand-new little red dot appear on the pinned WeChat conversation. It was Shen Shuangjian's first response to him.
[No need. Not going.]