The sightseeing cart specially provided by the production team stood mostly empty, with just two people's luggage aboard.
The owners of the luggage sat awkwardly opposite each other, both looking down at their phones.
Even the normally talkative Wen Jiu had gone quiet. Head lowered, he thanked a certain big shot surnamed Feng for kindly closing the audiobook page and charging his phone after xx-ing him last night.
For no other reason than that his dumbass nemesis, Lin Shuheng, was sitting opposite him.
The moment they met, both had instinctively wanted to offer greetings to each other's families, but the cameraman's high-resolution cannon of a camera made them chicken out.
After exchanging smiles that never reached their eyes and saying hello, they had been enthusiastically pressed into their seats by the chief director, leaving each to pretend he had social anxiety.
The forest breeze swept through the cart, cool and refreshing.
Zhang Guozhong, who was always on the front lines of gossip, saw them sitting in silence and even leaned over to say, "You two must have plenty to talk about."
He had even thoughtfully given them space to be alone together.
Once they reached Peach Blossom Spring Village, with so many seniors around, where else would they find such a perfect stage?
Wen Jiu forced a smile. "Nope, sweetie."
Lin Shuheng gave a cold scoff.
Wen Jiu bristled.
Seriously, what was this dumbass so smug about?
Did he think he was royalty?!
Hadn't he just climbed into a few more ugly men's beds?
Look at him, the picture of kidney deficiency!
Through the cameraman's lens, hot-tempered little Wen Xiaojiu looked ready to launch an attack. Zhang Guozhong cheered silently, the cameraman quietly egged him on, and tens of millions of viewers across the internet banged their chopsticks against their gossip bowls, clamoring to be fed.
Yet the young man merely opened his novel page at a leisurely pace.
Then he took out a Bluetooth earbud.
"Thought Daddy would fall for that?" Wen Jiu muttered as he put it in. "Nice try."
Zhang Guozhong: ...
The viewers: ...
There was nothing the director could do if his guest refused to cooperate.
Zhang Guozhong sighed and returned to his seat, muttering, "Kids these days really aren't cute."
Despite having his earbud in, Wen Jiu could still hear him. "Real men don't do cute."
"..."
Zhang Guozhong got annoyed. "Hey, you little-"
Wen Jiu gave him an indifferent glance, opened the table of contents, and shot back casually, "I'm twenty-five, thanks."
Could've fooled me, Zhang Guozhong thought. He looked at the latest-model phone in Wen Jiu's hand, finding it more familiar by the second. Curiosity clawed at him, and he desperately wanted Wen Xiaojiu to come clean for leniency-Did Feng Chi give you that? What exactly is your relationship? Who's pursuing whom right now?!
Then Wen Xiaojiu's furious roar exploded beside his ear.
"Feng Chi, you dog!!!"
The sightseeing cart swerved, tracing a Z across the gravel road.
The cameraman's hand shook, and he immediately aimed his camera at Wen Jiu.
Across from him, Lin Shuheng looked up, his gaze darkening slightly.
Zhang Guozhong's eyes lit up as he stared at him. "What happened? What happened?"
The entire internet mobilized at the scent of gossip!
An utterly unremarkable eighteenth-tier nobody had actually dared to publicly curse the head of Feng!
And in such an intimate tone!
Oh, it looked like their relationship really was something!
Under everyone's eyes, Wen Jiu could no longer spare a thought for Qu Feng's instruction to "watch your words and actions."
As the director leaned closer, Wen Jiu instantly became a pampered child who had been bullied at home, desperate to enlist a credible elder to judge the matter. He pointed at his phone screen and complained:
"That unfilial son! He-he actually dared to mess with Daddy's novel! Aaaah!"
However long the two of them had fooled around last night, the novel had played for just as long. By now, this novel of over two and a half million Chinese characters!
Had actually reached chapter 247!
And as luck would have it, it had stopped right at a gathering place for "luxury cars."
That bastard Feng Chi! He had actually dared to use Wen Jiu's account to comment under the smut!
He had even given the book a fucking five-star review!
[The novel's content is pretty good. The only drawback is that it's too long. Reading it is too hard on the eyes, but it's just right as background audio.]
Fuck your background audio!
Wen Jiu could practically picture the man after his shower, wrapped in a bath towel, picking up Wen Jiu's poor phone with a thoroughly sated expression-the same model as the big shot's, but with a very different fate. His moisture-laden eyes would casually fall on the novel's luxury-car scene, his brow lifting slightly as he curled his lips and typed!
And to make sure Wen Jiu saw it, the bastard had even shared his comment on the smut to his account's profile page, mercifully setting it to private.
Feng Chi had seen the embarrassing contents of his novel. Wen Jiu was so mortified he was going crazy!
What made it even more devastating was that this fucking smut was, yet again, about two men!!
Wen Jiu broke down! Wen Jiu lost his mind!
In his agitation, Wen Jiu's trembling fingertip accidentally tapped the audiobook's pause button!
Even more fucking tragically, because his phone had been playing aloud last night, the volume was just loud enough for everyone in the cart to hear. And the original owner's Bluetooth earbud apparently hadn't been charged in far too long.
A slightly grating beep sounded.
Then that incredibly sexy, pleasant voice of a young, mature man exploded in everyone's ears-
"Gu Wenzhi! Gu Wenzhi, Gu Wenzhi, Gu Wenzhi..."
"Bu Qing unconsciously called the man's name in a voice hoarse from crying. The corners of his eyes had flushed crimson with arousal, carrying a seductive allure. Gu Wenzhi could no longer resist pinning him firmly onto his own..."
With a smack, the phone was shut off and stuffed straight into a pocket on the suitcase.
Why did even a reading of smut have a whole dramatic structure?!
It was fucking more expressive than a normal novel!
Wen Jiu's toes curled into the ground with mortification, and he was so frantic that even the corners of his eyes reddened.
Wen Jiu wasn't exaggerating. If the director dragged him off to film a crying scene right now, he really could burst into tears in a second!
What the actual fuck was this epic social-death scene?!
[Oh, my darling wife, this planet is no longer fit for you. Hurry up and emigrate to another planet with me. I won't judge you.]
[Does our good boy have some kind of incompatibility with variety shows? How has he socially died right at the start?]
[Pfft, you two comments up! You almost fooled me. I can hear those scheming calculations from here! Our wife is still dying of embarrassment, and you're already trying to kidnap him? Wife, come with me! I'll protect you!]
[Tsk, nothing but ill-intentioned, black-hearted fans. Someone, drag them out of here!]
The viewers were stunned by Wen Jiu's fan culture. A passerby couldn't take it anymore and finally haltingly typed a comment:
[So celebrities like reading two-male-lead smut too?]
Zhang Guozhong: I never knew you were this kind of person.
Facing the shocked, embarrassed looks of the others in the cart, Wen Jiu said stiffly, "I'm straight..."
"..."
Silence was Peach Blossom Spring that morning.
[A straight guy reads danmei novels? And listens to danmei smut?]
[And fucking keeps up with the trends by listening to mpreg fiction?]
[Here's a joke: Wen Jiu is straight.]
[Give our son a little dignity. He's about to cry. lighting_a_cigarette.jpg]
Wen Jiu hurriedly wiped his eyes. After cursing Feng Chi a hundred times in his heart, he threw caution to the wind and said, "Actually, Feng Chi was listening to this on my phone last night!"
The man's cold, stern face instinctively surfaced in Zhang Guozhong's mind. Although the red mole at the corner of his eye made him look a little bewitching, with strikingly beautiful features, the air around him was cold enough to freeze someone to death. He was the very image of abstinence.
No matter how he looked at it, he didn't seem like someone who would listen to erotic danmei novels.
As far as Zhang Guozhong was concerned, this was most likely a lie the little fellow had told out of mortified anger.
So he said impartially, "You're actually spreading rumors about him!"
Wen Jiu choked.
He wanted nothing more than to whip out his phone right there and show him that review, letting everyone see the man's true colors!
But he didn't dare.
Just taking out his phone and opening that damned book would use up every scrap of courage he had.
And so, poor little Wen Xiaojiu could only swallow the injustice, staring at his suitcase and playing quail the whole way.
Zhang Guozhong rarely took such a liking to a kid. Sitting beside him, he offered earnest reassurance. "Oh, it's nothing major. Everyone has a few socially fatal moments in life."
Wen Jiu lay over the suitcase handle and lifted his eyes to him with a trace of hope.
"You're just admitting you like Feng Chi. It's no big deal. The country has even passed a same-sex marriage law!"
"..."
Wen Jiu looked utterly battered as he offered a feeble defense. "I really am straight." Besides, he didn't like him either.
"Pfft!"
Someone failed to hold back a laugh. Furious, Wen Jiu shot the culprit a murderous glare.
Zhang Guozhong's face was full of fatherly affection. "Ignore him. He's not professional enough."
"Go on, tell us what's going on between you and Feng Chi."
Wen Jiu: I'm numb. Let it all burn.