It opened with him sitting in the drafty sightseeing cart, going berserk from sheer humiliation, except the audio had been replaced with the "circles and crosses" he had recited during his livestream.
Wen Xiaojiu wiggled his toes and gritted his teeth under the covers.
This wicked fan was actually pretty good at editing. The transitions were silky smooth: he stood up from the sightseeing cart, then turned around to reveal two drawstrings dangling from his butt.
The high-definition camera had perfectly captured his pout and his humiliated, helpless expression. They had even replayed it several damn times, synced to the beat of the music!
It made him look like a stupid dog endlessly spinning around after its own tail!
Aaah, somebody help!
Wen Jiu was furious, but he couldn't fucking stop laughing either. Afraid of waking the person behind him, he pressed his fist against his teeth and forced himself to keep watching through the embarrassment.
He wouldn't have known without watching to the end. By the time he finished, he nearly laughed his head off.
This nearly twenty-minute-long remix video hadn't wasted a single second. It covered every last scrap of dignity he had dropped over those two days.
There was the dog pawing at his leg, the chicken chasing him, him looking utterly bewildered as he tugged at the mouse glue trap on the dog's head, him splashing flour onto his own face, and the climax where he ran wild with the chickens, ducks, and dog...
This wicked fan even had a sense of ceremony, choosing the flour-splashing scene to usher in the climax.
The flour flew, the chickens and ducks scattered, and man and dog jumped together.
They had even fucking replayed that part over and over.
Wen Jiu: ...
All of that would have been one thing, but they had even taken his imposing image at the wheel of the harvester!
And forcibly edited it into some cringey, delusional idiot???
The video deliberately cranked up the "putt-putt" sound, making him look like a landlord's idiot son, dumb and stupid!
Wen Xiaojiu was beyond furious!
No wonder those villagers thought of some comedian whenever they saw him.
This was a monumental fucking injustice!
The world really was too unkind to him. Boo-hoo.
Feng Chi felt as though he had barely slept before the movement in his arms shook him awake.
The person in his arms seemed to be silently weeping, curled up and shaking with sobs so hard that the entire bed trembled along with him.
Feng Chi was still groggy and not fully awake, but he couldn't help worrying.
"What happened?"
"Who bullied you?"
The little guy didn't respond, so Feng Chi could only turn him around to face him.
The corners of Wen Jiu's mouth instantly flattened.
Before long, they couldn't help lifting again.
With Feng Chi awake, he no longer had any reservations. He burst out laughing.
"Hahahaha, holy shit, how is this so funny! I'm laughing my head off, hahaha... But! These fans are so fucking wicked, boo-hoo! All they do is go around ruining Daddy's image!"
Feng Chi: ???
"But fuck, it's really so funny, hahahaha! Are all my fans geniuses? How are they so good at editing something this funny? Hahahaha, honk, honk, honk!"
Feng Chi: ...
So did you want to praise your fans or curse them out?
Feng Chi looked bewildered. He didn't know whether to be glad his wife hadn't been crying or worried about his wife's mental state.
Twenty minutes later, Big Boss Feng had joined the ranks of those stifling their laughter.
"Right? I told you it was funny!" After sharing the video, Wen Jiu's stomach hurt from laughing.
Exhausted, he lay against Feng Chi as they leaned against the headboard, but he still felt angry.
"But this really is going too far!" Wen Jiu howled at the ceiling. "Can't my fans see my serious, earnest, shining soul?"
"...Yes, they're in the wrong." President Feng was a big boss for a reason. With just a few words, he soothed Wen Xiaojiu. "Once your performance comes out, everyone will see how handsome you are."
"True." Wen Xiaojiu declared passionately, "I swear I'll wipe away this humiliation!!!"
The director of Blazing Stage had been personally selected by Feng Chi. Supposedly, the wildly popular music variety shows under this director's belt couldn't be counted on one hand, and he had a whole pile of signature works.
He was serious and proper, with extremely exacting standards for performances.
He sounded like a reliable professional.
The complete opposite of that wicked director from Peach Blossom Spring.
This time, Wen Xiaojiu would tear off his comedy-act label for good!
"..."
Feng Chi had an early meeting to attend, but he really couldn't rest easy. Afraid his wife would be bullied by his new company, he insisted on personally taking him to Starlight Entertainment before going to work.
Wen Jiu swallowed one of the soup dumplings Cai Qing had bought in a single bite. "I can actually manage on my own. No one's managed to take advantage of me all these years-"
Feng Chi was tying his tie. At those words, he looked up.
His gaze was innocent, gentle, sweet, and considerate.
Wen Jiu suddenly saw the light, struck by inspiration. "I think your concerns make perfect sense. I don't know anyone or anything here. It'd be better to have you show me the ropes."
God, his wife's gaze was just too cute!
Who could say no?
Wen Xiaojiu certainly couldn't.
☆
Lin Changfeng was looking forward to meeting his sister-in-law for the first time today. He had even specially groomed and dressed himself, spraying on some men's white tea perfume.
He had also instructed his office assistant to wipe down the sofa and coffee table several times.
Yet even when the hour and minute hands on his watch formed a right angle, he still hadn't heard so much as a knock.
Lin Changfeng: ...How strange.
Unable to wait any longer, he messaged Feng Chi: Bro, where are you guys?
Having delivered Wen Jiu directly into his teacher's care on the thirty-second floor of Starlight Building, clearly explained everything that needed attention, and hurried back to work, Feng Chi had already entered his company's lobby. His lips curved in a good mood.
Eternally single human refrigerator: Location-Green Lake Road, Feng Chi Group headquarters.
Silly spore, flashy peacock: ???
Thirty-second floor.
Wen Jiu sat quietly on a small cushioned stool, waiting for his vocal coach Annie's assessment.
After a long silence, Annie once again asked the question she had repeated eleven times that morning. "You wrote zis piece yourself? Really?"
"..." Holding back a laugh, Wen Jiu nodded. "Both the lyrics and the music."
The rehearsal room fell silent again.
"Teacher, would this be-"
"Of course eet ees! I have absolutely no objections!"
Teacher Annie's excited voice interrupted Wen Xiaojiu's tentative question. She sprang to her feet, patted her student's shoulder firmly, and took a deep breath. "You've done a very beautiful job!"
"Wow~amazing! You're truly ze most outstanding student I've ever met!"
Annie thought for a moment, then gave him a thumbs-up, her bright red manicure especially eye-catching. "Good job!"
As she spoke, she raised her hands and played the piece again, an enraptured smile filling her beautiful face.
"Perfect! Such a perfect piece. You're really incredible!" After finishing, Annie smiled at him. "I'm going to change how I teach you. If zere are any techniques you want to improve, you can come to me."
"I firmly believe your performance will be a..." Annie searched her mind for a phrase, then gave a meaningful smile. "Feast for the ears."
A little embarrassed, Wen Jiu bowed. "Thank you."
Qu Feng had been worried and came over to check on him. Hearing the piano inside, he stood outside the door and listened quietly.
Before long, Wen Jiu's voice blended perfectly into the music.
He had to admit, this kid had quite a few clever ideas for his performance.
"Mm-hmm, that sounds so good."
"No wonder that bastard Feng Chi wouldn't let me see him. If it were me, I wouldn't want to share either..."
A sudden sigh came from beside him. Qu Feng turned to find the new big boss bent over, peering through the crack in the door and muttering to himself.
Qu Feng: "...Hello, President Lin."
Lin Changfeng didn't even turn his head. "Mm, hello, hello. All good, all good."
"..."
Wen Xiaojiu was engrossed in practicing inside. Neither man outside had the heart to interrupt him, so they decided to wait until he took a break before knocking and going in.
The hour hand advanced another quarter turn. Not only had they failed to catch Wen Xiaojiu on a break, but an unexpected visitor had arrived.
Lin Changfeng: "...What are you doing here?"
Feng Chi had deliberately changed into another globally limited-edition bespoke suit and put on a different pair of silver-rimmed glasses. He elegantly adjusted his cuff, revealing an understated, luxurious emerald-green cuff link.
"Picking my wife up from work."
The corner of Lin Changfeng's mouth twitched.
He remembered that pair of cuff links. They had been a finale lot at an auction in Italy, antiques passed down from Greece.
"I've never seen you wear those cuff links before. What's this?" Lin Changfeng raised an eyebrow, narrowing his foxlike eyes as though he had discovered a new continent. "Is it finally your turn to feel threatened?"
Threatened? Feng Chi curved his lips coldly, using his five-centimeter height advantage to look down at him.
"You seem to have quite a few misconceptions about yourself."