The Great Emperor of Holy Water Arrives! What Rich Kid Craps His Pants Twice!

At noon, the blazing sun hung overhead.

Outside Building Seven of the girls' dormitories, Lin Bei leaned in the shade of a camphor tree, tossing a half-empty bottle of chilled mineral water in his hand.

Fatty Wang squatted beside him, his shifty eyes roaming over the legs of the girls coming and going, still going on about what had happened that morning.

"Bro Bei, how do you think Teacher Shen got a figure like that? And that visual diagnosis skill of yours-can't you really teach me?"

Lin Bei unscrewed the cap and took a swig.

"With your build, learning it wouldn't do you any good. They'd just think you were being a pervert."

Fatty curled his lips and was about to argue when his eyes suddenly lit up. He shot to his feet.

"Qingwu's coming down!"

Ruan Qingwu emerged through the dormitory entrance.

She had changed into a fitted light blue short-sleeved top and a pleated skirt, her legs straight and fair. Her freshly washed hair lay loose over her shoulders, its ends still slightly damp.

The boys waiting nearby unconsciously fell silent for a moment, their gazes all drawn toward her.

Ruan Qingwu had long since grown immune to those looks.

She scanned the crowd, her gaze settling on Lin Bei beneath the camphor tree.

A smile instantly blossomed across her normally cool face.

She quickened her steps toward him and naturally took the half-empty bottle of chilled mineral water from his hand, pressing it against her cheek to cool herself.

"It's boiling. This Jinghai weather is going to kill me."

Lin Bei took the parasol from her hand and opened it over her head.

"What do you want to eat? There's a grilled fish place by the south gate. Fatty said it's pretty good."

Ruan Qingwu nodded.

"Sure. Your call."

The three were just about to turn toward the south gate.

"Stop right there!"

A rough shout came from behind them to one side.

Lin Bei didn't stop walking or even turn his head.

Ruan Qingwu, however, glanced over with a frown, and her face immediately darkened.

Zhou Zihao swaggered over with four boys and blocked their way.

He had changed into an Armani casual outfit today and had his hair restyled.

At the front was a muscular boy standing six foot three.

Zhang Liang, a sports recruit from this year's intake, was also the chief lackey Zhou Zihao had just bought off with two heavy drinking sessions.

Crapping his pants at the campus gate yesterday had become the darkest shadow of Zhou Zihao's life.

He had showered eight times after returning to his dorm, yet he still felt that he smelled.

But a rich second-generation kid's mind worked differently from an ordinary person's.

He firmly believed yesterday had only happened because he had eaten something bad at the airport. It had been a sudden stomach problem.

Today, he had to reclaim that lost face-with interest.

Especially in front of Ruan Qingwu.

"Oh, heading out to eat?" Zhou Zihao stopped two meters in front of Lin Bei, folding his arms and lifting his chin high.

Zhang Liang stepped forward and planted himself beside Zhou Zihao like half a black iron tower, radiating intimidation.

The students nearby who had been heading out to eat immediately stopped at the sight and formed a circle.

Never worrying that the spectacle might get too big was a fine tradition among university students.

Ruan Qingwu took half a step forward, shielding Lin Bei.

"Zhou Zihao, are you ever going to stop?"

Zhou Zihao's face twitched.

Being openly scorned by the girl he liked was not a pleasant feeling.

But he put all of it on Lin Bei's tab.

"Qingwu, this has nothing to do with you."

Zhou Zihao went around Ruan Qingwu and fixed Lin Bei with a vicious stare.

"You little shit, you were pretty damn cocky at the campus gate yesterday. Today, I'm going to..."

Before Zhou Zihao could finish his tirade, Lin Bei suddenly stepped back half a pace and vigorously fanned his left hand in front of his nose, his face full of disgust.

"Fatty, do you smell that? Why does it smell like a septic tank exploded?"

Fatty Wang was quick on the uptake. He immediately caught on, pinched his nose, and jumped a big step back.

"Holy shit! It really does! That stench is brutal. It's burning my eyes!"

Zhou Zihao's outstretched hand froze in midair.

That unbearable memory from yesterday instantly flooded his mind.

He instinctively clamped his legs together, his face alternating between green and white.

"You're fucking dead!" Seeing his master humiliated, Zhang Liang roared and moved to attack.

Lin Bei ignored Zhang Liang, looked Zhou Zihao up and down, and suddenly raised his voice, his tone filled with surprise and reverence.

"Oh! Isn't this the Great Emperor of Holy Water? Forgive my disrespect!"

The moment that title left his mouth, everyone fell silent for a second.

Ruan Qingwu blinked and tugged at Lin Bei's sleeve.

"What Great Emperor of Holy Water?"

Lin Bei cleared his throat, straightened up, and surveyed the crowd with a perfectly solemn expression.

"Now, this is something you don't know. Our Jinghai University is full of crouching tigers and hidden dragons."

He pointed at Zhou Zihao, whose face had already turned liver-purple, and launched into his patter with crisp, ringing diction.

"This man is the legendary Great Emperor of Holy Water!"

"Nobility tinged with disgrace, an imperial aura laced with the urge to shit!"

"When other people squat over a toilet, they're taking a dump. When His Majesty squats, he's ascending the throne!"

"When other people finish shitting, it's time to flush. When His Majesty finishes, court is dismissed!"

Lin Bei paused, deliberately drawing out his final words.

"Yesterday, at our university's main south gate, His Majesty performed before hundreds of people: a torrent plunging straight down three thousand feet, as though the Yellow River had fallen from the ninth heaven!"

Dead silence.

Outside the girls' dormitory, there was deathly silence.

Then-

"Pfft-"

Someone finally failed to hold it in and laughed aloud.

That laugh was like a fuse, instantly setting off the entire crowd.

"Hahahahaha, holy shit!"

"I remember now! That rich kid with the Porsche and explosive diarrhea on the confession page yesterday-that was him!"

"Great Emperor of Holy Water, my ass! This guy's got a vicious mouth!"

'"Nobility tinged with disgrace"-I'm dying! I happened to be at the gate yesterday. That smell nearly made me puke up breakfast from ten meters away!"

"I was wondering why he looked so familiar. So he's the one who dismissed court!"

The onlookers doubled over laughing, some even squatting on the ground clutching their stomachs.

Hundreds of gazes fell in unison on Zhou Zihao's crotch, filled with undisguised mockery and disgust.

Ruan Qingwu had still been angry, but after hearing Lin Bei's speech, she simply couldn't hold it in and burst out laughing.

Fatty Wang was even more over the top, leaning against the tree and slapping his thigh wildly.

"Your Majesty! Accept this humble fatty's bow! Have you dismissed court today?"

Zhou Zihao went mad.

His entire body trembled.

Those mocking laughs sliced his dignity as a rich second-generation kid to pieces.

He had prepared a bellyful of vicious words and brought Zhang Liang, his ace thug, intending to thoroughly humiliate Lin Bei in front of Ruan Qingwu.

Instead, Lin Bei hadn't so much as lifted a finger.

With just a few sentences, he had nailed him straight to the pillar of shame.

The Great Emperor of Holy Water.

Once that title spread, he, Zhou Zihao, could forget about holding his head high for all four years of university!

"You... you..."

Zhou Zihao pointed at Lin Bei, his finger shaking as though an electric current were running through it.

The extreme anger and humiliation actually produced a strange phantom pain in his gut.

He felt his stomach beginning to gurgle again.

That familiar warmth seemed about to sink downward once more.

"Your Majesty, don't get worked up." Lin Bei retreated two steps, covering his nose. "If you dismiss court again, nobody will be able to stay outside this girls' dorm."

Hearing this, the girls watching nearby turned pale with fright, covering their noses and backing away.

"Move, move! Don't let it splatter on you!"

"That's disgusting. He looks like a proper human being, so why's he relieving himself wherever he pleases?"

"Stay away from him. I heard this stuff's contagious!"

Zhang Liang and the other three lackeys were dumbfounded too.

Listening to the surrounding comments and seeing Zhou Zihao looking ready to collapse at any moment, Zhang Liang instinctively unclenched his fists and silently sidestepped twice, putting some distance between himself and Zhou Zihao.

The money might be easy, but he couldn't let his reputation stink.

Deserted by friends and allies.

Social death.

Zhou Zihao's psychological defenses completely crumbled.

He shot Lin Bei a vicious glare.

Without managing a single threat, he instinctively covered his backside with both hands and sprinted away without looking back, like a dog that had lost its home.

His retreating figure was as wretched as could be.

"Take care, Your Majesty! Watch that sphincter!" Fatty Wang shouted after him at the top of his lungs.

The crowd erupted in another roar of laughter.

Zhang Liang and the other lackeys exchanged looks, their faces bright red, then hurriedly slunk into the crowd and fled too.

A long-planned ambush had turned into a complete and utter farce.

Lin Bei dusted off his hands as though nothing had happened and turned toward Ruan Qingwu, who was still holding back laughter.

"Come on, let's get grilled fish. Any later and there won't be any seats."

Ruan Qingwu turned and rolled her eyes at Lin Bei, her voice carrying a hint of playful reproach.

"That mouth of yours is so mean. The Great Emperor of Holy Water-how did you even come up with that? How's he supposed to show his face at school now?"

"What do I care whether he can show his face?" Holding the parasol, Lin Bei walked forward beside Ruan Qingwu. "He dared to mess with you. The fact that I didn't make him dismiss court on the spot means I'm in a good mood today."

Ruan Qingwu's steps paused slightly.

A barely noticeable blush spread over the tips of her ears.

She said nothing, merely moving closer beneath Lin Bei's parasol, her shoulder brushing ever so lightly against his arm.

Fatty Wang followed behind, looking at their retreating figures and heaving a sour sigh.

"Fuck, what a world. Be handsome and good at roasting people, and even the campus belle throws herself at you. When's spring finally going to come for Lord Fatty?"