Xu Qi'an's diary

"Today is the jiawu day of the bingxu month of the gengzi year. What a load of gibberish. In the past, I'd have been completely lost in a fog. Luckily, I inherited the original owner's memories.

By my reckoning, it should be the Year of the Rat, October 18 on the solar calendar. Well, I'm going to start keeping a diary. It's not like I'm a respectable person anyway.

Second Uncle was right. I need to find a different way to live.

In this dogshit society, climbing too high isn't necessarily a good thing. High officials whose households were confiscated were a dime a dozen in ancient times. What sort of people can live comfortably? I looked into it: the middle class.

They live more comfortably than ordinary people without getting caught up in high-level power struggles. Taking a few small losses in daily life doesn't matter. People in this class have it the best.

Also: I picked up a tenth of a tael of silver at the market today."

"October 19, overcast. I must have money. The only thing more reliable than silver in this world is gold. Merchants have no status, but I suppose you win some, you lose some. I plan to resign in a few days and stop working as a constable at the yamen. Two taels of silver and one shi of rice a month-when will I ever get to sleep with a courtesan queen at the Imperial Music Bureau?"

"October 20, overcast. No rush to resign yet. I'll get a business going first. Today I saw a colleague taking an official summons to extort a merchant, and it didn't sit well with me. But I know this is normal in society. Heh, the old me would have had hot blood rush to his head and shouted him down long ago. Life has worn away my sharp edges. When you can't change anything, learn to stay silent.

Also: I picked up a tenth of a tael of silver at the yamen today."

"October 21, clear. Head Constable Wang took me to have fun at a pleasure house today. My impression of pleasure houses has changed. They're places for listening to songs and opera, as well as joining flesh and soul. I'm still in the Essence Refining Realm and can't lose my virginity. Utterly melancholy.

I looked around for ages and didn't find a single woman prettier than Auntie. Auntie is the sort of voluptuous, gorgeous married woman who carries a natural air of propriety. The women in the pleasure house were too frivolous, too steeped in the air of the flesh trade.

Looking at it that way, little cousin Lingyue and Auntie really hold their own in the looks department.

Then I picked up a tenth of a tael of silver at the pleasure house, just enough to pay for the songs and food. Have I been having dogshit luck lately?"

"October 22, listened to songs at the pleasure house."

"October 23, listened to songs at the pleasure house."

"October 24, listened to songs at the pleasure house. Head Constable Wang asked why I was so happy. Because freeloading makes me happy."

"October 25, Xu Qi'an, oh, Xu Qi'an, how could you sink so low? This can't go on. Have you forgotten your goal? Set a small goal first: make a hundred million."

"October 26, listened to songs at the pleasure house."

"October 27, listened to songs at the pleasure house. Didn't pick up any silver today. Paid a tenth of a tael in whoring fees. Pah, what a foul, smoke-filled place. Never coming back."

"October 28, this world has gunpowder and firearms. It has soap pods too, and they work surprisingly well. There goes my soap-making plan. I hate alchemists. Wait, glass!

I can make glass. Glass is good stuff. These ancient people definitely won't have seen it."

"October 29, oh, they have glass too. I'll have to find another way. Picked up Second Uncle's secret stash at home today: a tenth of a tael of silver."

"October 30, listened to songs at the pleasure house."

"October 31, I discovered another money-making plan today. I can improve paper. Literary pursuits flourish in Great Feng. As long as I can make better paper, I can rake in bucketfuls of gold every day, eat the best food, and sleep with the most beautiful courtesan queens.

Let me think. The process for making paper is... (Entire passage crossed out.)

All right, no need to bother with a trifle like paper. I've got a better idea: making cement.

I know what goes into cement: calcium carbonate, silicon dioxide, aluminum oxide, and iron oxide, mixed according to specific physical and chemical standards. Mm, picked up a tenth of a tael of silver at the market today.

??? What's going on? Haven't I been picking up money a little too often? This makes me very uneasy."

"November 2, the cement plan failed. Theoretical knowledge and practical ability are two different things. Motherfucker, that's all too real."

"November 3, I burned through all my savings these past few days. Asked Second Uncle for a loan, but the broke bastard didn't have any money either. When Xu Xinnian found out, he first expressed his disdain, then mocked me, and finally gave me five taels of silver. Apart from his sharp tongue and being a bit of a tsundere, this cousin of mine is actually pretty decent. 'Had Heaven not brought forth me, Xu Xinnian, Great Feng's endless ages would have been one long night,' I offered in return. Xu Xinnian flushed scarlet and left with a sweep of his sleeves.

Oh, Erlang, if we weren't sworn brothers, I'd make you the female lead."

"November 5, went to slack off at a teahouse with the yamen's constables today. Listening to a storyteller for the first time, I suddenly thought: if I wrote out later generations' wuxia novels, the Four Great Classical Novels, and webnovels, I could make money lying down. I'm such a clever little fellow.

Saw another tenth of a tael of silver today. There's my money for the pleasure house tomorrow."

"November 7, I was too fucking naive. A novel runs to hundreds of thousands, even millions of characters, and I'm supposed to write it out with a brush? Well, I could make a charcoal pencil, but-but I can't remember the novels' contents.

Ten days since transmigrating, and I've accomplished nothing. Aaargh, I'm going to crack apart."

"November 8, rainy, just like my mood right now. I clearly know a little about everything, but when it comes to actually turning it into silver; to creating something from nothing; I find I'm still lacking so much. I've truly experienced the failings of exam-oriented education.

Chatted with Second Uncle today and heard a lot about officialdom. Between that and what I've seen and heard as a constable at the yamen, I suddenly realized this world is even worse than I imagined. Corrupt officials run rampant without restraint. An official who only takes a little in bribes counts as a good official. Honest officials are rarer than virgins in a pleasure house."

"November 9, cloudy. Why hasn't Miss Caiwei from the Directorate of Astronomy come looking for me yet? Doesn't she want the legendary secret arts of alchemy? That girl's looks are no worse than little cousin Lingyue's. A cute, charming oval face, with big, beautiful eyes. With my consummate flirting skills, I might just be able to win her over. Whether she's the Director's disciple doesn't matter. Mostly, I just long for love in this cold, indifferent society.

Come find me soon. I don't want to struggle anymore."

"November 10, I still couldn't accept the novel plan falling through, so I told my two younger cousins the rough plot of Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai. The story was very bare-bones, since I'd forgotten so many details. When I finished, little cousin Lingyue's eyes were red, but Lingyin didn't cry. I punched her, and she cried. I felt this was something she ought to bear at her age."

"November 11, drank with Registrar Li today. Slightly tipsy, he said the North-Defending King's consort was the greatest beauty of the current reign. I asked just how beautiful she was, but he couldn't describe her, because Registrar Li had only heard it from the magistrate himself.

When I got home from work that evening, I quietly went to ask Second Uncle. His expression was very strange. He did everything he could to describe the consort's beauty with his meager vocabulary. I extracted the key point: holy shit, huge tits.

This left me with a tiny bit of interest in and anticipation for the consort."

"November 12, to this day, I've accomplished nothing. I've disgraced my motherland and disgraced transmigrators."

"November 13, this marks my first month in this world. My salary has been paid. I plan to work hard and take the business thing slowly."

"November 14, listened to songs at the pleasure house."