Kisuke Urahara Gets Toyed With

Inside the Kirin Palace cafeteria.

"Crunch~ crunch~"

"Gulp, gulp, gulp..."

Sōgo Shihoin kept stuffing food into his mouth. Perhaps because the Spiritual Pressure inside his body was simply too powerful, he never got fat, no matter how much he ate.

"Yo~ little monster, you've already started eating?"

Tenjirō Kirinji walked over with a stalk of straw he had snapped off somewhere between his lips, wiping the beads of water from his forehead with a towel.

"Hm?"

"Why are you alone? Where's my sister?"

Sōgo Shihoin asked indistinctly, his mouth full of food.

"I tossed her into the healing hot spring, then went to the bathhouse by myself."

"Honestly, she really is your sister. That perseverance alone is certainly rare."

"Seriously, perhaps I really should find someone to inherit my title of Lightning-Fast!"

Tenjirō Kirinji nodded in satisfaction. He was no longer teaching Yoruichi Shihōin because of his duties or an agreement, but purely as an elder and teacher. He sincerely hoped she would amount to something.

"Ah! Just talking about this makes me mad. Young people these days! They don't even recognize the great Lightning-Fast Tenjirō Kirinji! Back in the day, who in all of Soul Society didn't know me? How many people wanted to kneel at my feet to learn my lightning-fast Shunpo!"

Tenjirō Kirinji stood beside Sōgo Shihoin, complaining nonstop.

"Gulp~" Sōgo Shihoin, however, had no interest in Tenjirō Kirinji's complaints. He only cared about the matter of his sister. Swallowing his last mouthful of food, Sōgo asked Tenjirō Kirinji, "That healing hot spring of yours-I remember it isn't separated by sex, right?"

"Ah, of course. After all, I'm usually the only person living in this palace. There really isn't any need to separate men and women. Incidentally, neither the bathhouse nor the toilets are separated by sex."

Tenjirō Kirinji paused at Sōgo Shihoin's words, then nodded slightly.

"Oh no."

Sōgo's pupils trembled slightly. He put down the food in his hands and took off running toward the hot spring.

Meanwhile, in the hot spring.

"Um, Miss Yoruichi, you're making me very embarrassed."

Hiding behind a huge rock, Kisuke Urahara spoke to Yoruichi Shihōin, who was enveloped in mist.

"What are you embarrassed about, Urahara?"

"We're all just injured people here. Injured people have no distinction between men and women."

As Yoruichi Shihōin spoke, she stretched, found a comfortable position, and sat in the hot spring, giving Kisuke Urahara a faint smile. Her pale golden eyes were full of teasing mischief. She looked like a kitten that had found a toy, cute without losing her wildness.

"Hahaha... you're certainly right, Miss Yoruichi. Injured people do have no distinction between men and women, but..."

Kisuke Urahara kept shaking his head, not daring to approach Yoruichi Shihōin. Though injured people had no distinction between men and women, certain people's little brothers did not think so.

"What?"

"I don't even mind, so what exactly are you worrying about?"

Like an agile black cat, Yoruichi Shihōin appeared behind Kisuke Urahara in the blink of an eye and blew warm air into his ear.

"Um... Miss Yoruichi..."

Kisuke Urahara squeezed his eyes shut, his whole body trembling nonstop.

"What's wrong? Don't dare open your eyes and look at me?"

"I remember you saw me when we were little. Or have you grown up now and started noticing how sexy I am?"

Yoruichi Shihōin kept talking to Kisuke Urahara.

"No, it has nothing to do with that. Mostly, I'm afraid of dying."

Kisuke Urahara kept shaking his head. Yoruichi Shihōin's personality was already awful enough, and her little brother took it a step further. Perhaps birds of a feather really did flock together~

"Are you really not going to look? Miss this chance, and you won't get another, you know?"

Yoruichi Shihōin kept teasing Kisuke Urahara's heart into racing.

"No, thank you! Miss Yoruichi, I truly don't have the good fortune to enjoy that."

Kisuke Urahara's self-control was as firm as a bodhisattva's. Perhaps that was also why his Zanpakuto's full name was Kannonbiraki Benihime Aratame?

"Are you really not going to take a look?"

Yoruichi was still relentlessly tempting Urahara.

"No, I..."

Kisuke Urahara shook his head hard, his stance utterly firm.

"Stop! Urahara, you pervert!"

Yet just as Kisuke Urahara was about to express his firm stance once again, a black shadow lunged over and planted a kick in his face.

"Pfft~"

"Why?"

Kisuke Urahara, who had seen nothing at all, went flying from the kick, utterly bewildered.

"Splash~"

He sent a huge wave surging through the hot spring.

"Sis, are you all right?"

Only after seeing Urahara go flying from his kick did Sōgo Shihoin relax and ask Yoruichi Shihōin.

"Of course I'm fine~ after all, I'm wearing a bodysuit!"

Clad in a jet-black bodysuit, Yoruichi Shihōin stood up out of the hot spring and gave Sōgo a thumbs-up.

"Ah, that's a relief."

"But this hot spring really should be separated into men's and women's sections. It needs remodeling."

"Urahara, hurry up and use your Zanpakuto to remodel this hot spring."

Sōgo Shihoin looked at Yoruichi in her Stealth Force bodysuit and nodded slightly, then called out to Kisuke Urahara.

"So it still falls to me in the end?" Kisuke Urahara clambered out of the hot spring in a sorry state and drew his Zanpakuto. "Bankai! Kannonbiraki Benihime Aratame!"

With Kisuke Urahara's Bankai, a beautiful woman resembling a yamato nadeshiko slowly appeared behind him.

"Huh? Urahara, you've already learned Bankai?!"

A flicker of surprise crossed Yoruichi Shihōin's eyes as she looked at Kisuke Urahara's Bankai. Though she had thought he would probably learn Bankai very soon, she had not expected him to master it this quickly.

"He's a genius to begin with. With a super genius like me teaching him on top of that, wouldn't learning Bankai be a piece of cake?"

While praising Kisuke Urahara, Sōgo Shihoin instantly elevated his own standing even higher. Everything he said implied that he was far more of a genius than Kisuke Urahara.

"Clap, clap, clap..."

"Amazing, amazing. You're both wonderful!"

Yoruichi Shihōin applauded Sōgo and Kisuke Urahara.

"Sigh..."

"Miss Yoruichi, your injuries should be mostly healed by now, right?"

"Then, sorry for the trouble, but could you step outside for a while? I need to remodel this place."

Controlling Benihime's Bankai, Kisuke Urahara looked at Yoruichi and Sōgo resentfully.

"Sure~ then get to work~ I happen to be a little hungry." Yoruichi Shihōin nodded slightly at Kisuke Urahara, then asked Sōgo Shihoin beside her, "Sōgo, there's food here, right?"

"Of course. There's a cafeteria here. All the food there is provided by the young Zanpakuto ladies, and it's delicious."

Sōgo Shihoin nodded at Yoruichi as he spoke.

"Good~"

"See you, then, Urahara."

Yoruichi Shihōin gave Kisuke Urahara one last wave, then followed Sōgo toward the cafeteria.

"Good luck with the remodeling, Urahara!"

Before leaving, Sōgo left Urahara his well wishes.

"This sister and brother really have such annoying personalities."

Kisuke Urahara's eye twitched slightly as he looked at the steaming hot spring, which had become deserted apart from himself in the blink of an eye.

(End of chapter)