I am invincible

"Smack~"

Just as Sōgo Shihoin finished what sounded like a textbook villain's speech and "looked" at Kisuke Urahara with a wicked grin, Yoruichi's fist landed on his head.

"That hurt, Sis!"

"Why did you hit me?"

Sōgo looked at Yoruichi Shihōin with an aggrieved expression, looking every bit like a hundred-year-old child.

"Idiot! What's all this talk about marrying into the family? You're still a kid, so stop spouting nonsense! I told you, Urahara is my underling! My underling! When I become a captain in the future, he'll be my lieutenant!"

Yoruichi spoke to Sōgo in a huff.

"But you'll have to get married someday, Sis~"

"This man called Kisuke Urahara looks like a total pushover. He definitely couldn't bully you, so he'd be perfect to marry into the family... I think the Shihoin family... would all be very happy with that, too."

Sōgo Shihoin gently rubbed his chin, "looking" Kisuke Urahara up and down.

"Aren't you blind?"

"And what do you mean, I look like a total pushover?"

Even Kisuke Urahara's composure cracked in front of Sōgo Shihoin.

"Oh my~"

"So the little bottom has a temper, too~"

"You learn something new every day~"

Sōgo Shihoin nodded lightly, as though he had discovered a new continent.

"I'm seriously getting angry!"

Ultimately, the current Kisuke Urahara was not yet the shopkeeper who had lived through Aizen's uprising. By Soul Reaper standards, he was still a youth, with some restless emotions in him yet.

"Sōgo isn't blind, you know~"

"His eyesight is excellent, and his eyelashes are very long. Most importantly, his eyes really are beautiful~ Like gemstones."

Yoruichi Shihōin interjected while Kisuke Urahara and Sōgo Shihoin were bickering.

"If he can see, why does he wear that strange thing?"

Kisuke Urahara paused slightly at Yoruichi Shihōin's words and asked in some puzzlement.

"Want to see?"

Rather than answering Kisuke Urahara's question, Sōgo Shihoin hooked one hand around the black cloth on his face, as though he would take it off the moment Kisuke Urahara agreed.

"I..."

Kisuke Urahara paused slightly, then nodded gently.

"Stop, Sōgo!"

"Are you trying to kill Kisuke Urahara right here?"

"It took me so much effort to find an underling as exceptionally talented as Kisuke Urahara. Finding another one like him wouldn't be easy..."

Before Kisuke Urahara could say anything more, however, Yoruichi Shihōin punched Sōgo on the head again.

"Smack~"

"That hurt, Sis!"

"It really hurt!"

Sōgo held his head, looking aggrieved again.

"You deserved it." Yoruichi Shihōin tipped her chin at Sōgo, then turned to Kisuke Urahara. "You absolutely must not look at Sōgo's eyes. That black cloth isn't ordinary cloth. It came from Squad Zero, bestowed by His Majesty the Soul King specifically to restrain Sōgo's spiritual pressure."

"His Majesty the Soul King, my ass. He's just a battery."

Sōgo cut in.

"I told you to shut up!"

Yoruichi Shihōin gave Sōgo a look, leaving him to take the hint.

"I won't say another word. Please, carry on."

Sōgo immediately covered his mouth.

"Mm." Seeing Sōgo close his mouth of his own accord, Yoruichi Shihōin nodded lightly and continued speaking to Kisuke Urahara. "Kisuke Urahara, didn't you want to see the Shihoin family's greatest secret treasure? What you wanted to see is right in front of you."

"You're saying the Shihoin family's legendary secret treasure, the one that can destroy the Soul Society, is a person?"

"That really is rather surprising."

Kisuke Urahara was rarely surprised. More precisely, this was the first time in his life he had been so surprised.

"Young man, don't you believe I can destroy the Soul Society?"

"You see~ I'm invincible!"

"What do you say? Want to play with me, Mr. Genius~?"

At some point, Sōgo, who had been standing in front of Kisuke Urahara, had appeared behind him. He casually draped an arm over Kisuke Urahara's shoulders, looking every bit the villain.

"When did you...?"

Kisuke Urahara's eyes quivered slightly. He hadn't noticed when Sōgo Shihoin had used Shunpo at all.

"Sōgo."

Watching Sōgo toy with Kisuke Urahara, Yoruichi Shihōin clenched her fist.

"Okay! Sis! I surrender!"

Sōgo Shihoin immediately raised both hands with practiced ease-so practiced that it was as though he had been French in his previous life.

"Urahara, you've noticed what's different about this courtyard, haven't you? That unusual concentration of reishi!" Yoruichi Shihōin explained to Kisuke Urahara. "Even lieutenant-level experts feel as though they're drowning in this courtyard, and that's just the power leaking unintentionally from Sōgo's body after he puts on the blindfold and suppresses his spiritual pressure to a third of its original strength. That's also why I waited until now to bring you to meet him. Spiritual bodies below lieutenant-level would instantly rupture and die."

"So that's also why there's nobody else in this courtyard besides us? Then is this a cage built for Mr. Sōgo Shihoin?"

Kisuke Urahara understood completely now. The courtyard's defenses were so simple because they weren't meant to protect the person inside it at all, but rather the people outside it. This "perfectly ordinary" boy before him truly possessed the power to destroy the Soul Society. That was no exaggeration. Simply wandering around outside every day would cause countless casualties.

"That's right, this really is a cage~ But it's a little cage inside a bigger cage~" Sōgo Shihoin nodded lightly at Kisuke Urahara, then looked at Yoruichi. "Sis, Sis! Don't let this guy fool you~ His spiritual pressure is already close to captain-level. Even learning Bankai now would come as naturally as water flowing into a channel."

"Huh?"

"Really? Urahara?"

Yoruichi turned to Kisuke Urahara.

"Oh my~ I've been exposed~"

As Kisuke Urahara spoke, he straightened his back, looking relaxed, as though Sōgo Shihoin's leaking spiritual pressure had no effect on him whatsoever.

"Looks like you're not just a little bottom, but a crafty little bottom. That won't do. What the Shihoin family needs is an obedient puppet~ A puppet!"

Sōgo Shihoin shook his head at Kisuke Urahara. Unfortunately, he hadn't passed muster with him.

"I told you, he's my underling! My underling!"

As she spoke, Yoruichi punched Sōgo on the head.

"Sis, if you keep hitting me, your own little brother is going to end up an idiot~"

With spiritual pressure protecting the surface of his body, Sōgo Shihoin actually felt no pain at all, but he held his head and pretended it hurt.

"Um, actually, I have a question. Couldn't you just apply the Gentei Kaichū Seal used for trips to the World of the Living to Sōgo's body? On top of the blindfold, if you suppressed his spiritual pressure to eighty percent of its original strength, shouldn't that solve everything?"

Kisuke Urahara tried to change the subject.

"You're very clever. Unfortunately..." As Sōgo Shihoin spoke, he raised his arm and rolled up his sleeve, revealing the tattoo inscribed on his skin. "The Gentei Kaichū Seal that Sis Senjumaru and Sis Kirio Hikifune inscribed together directly suppresses nearly ninety percent of my spiritual pressure. In other words, counting my blindfold, the spiritual pressure in my body right now is one-thirtieth of what it is at full strength. But even so, the spiritual pressure I release unintentionally still crushes spiritual bodies below lieutenant-level. Do you understand now?"

"Are you a monster?"

Kisuke Urahara asked Sōgo Shihoin after hearing that.

"I told you~ I'm invincible!"

Sōgo Shihoin flashed Kisuke Urahara an evil, villainous grin.

A note on Urahara's personality in this story: before Aizen taught him a lesson, Urahara was the type who seemed humble but actually had quite a personality and considered himself a genius. Only after being taught that lesson did he become the deeply calculating shopkeeper~

(End of chapter)