Your opponent is me~

"Hahaha... Look at that stupid face! You're still scared of your big sister at your age? You're killing me!"

Tenjirō Kirinji found the sight of Sōgo begging for mercy immensely entertaining and roared with laughter.

"Shut up, you too!"

Yoruichi Shihōin raised her head to look at Tenjirō Kirinji. Scarlet killing intent seemed to flash in her wild eyes. No, it was no longer something as simple as killing intent. Yoruichi Shihōin's eyes seemed to glow! With scarlet light!

"Uh..." Feeling the killing intent bursting from Yoruichi Shihōin's eyes, Tenjirō Kirinji felt a chill down his back. It was as though what stood before him was not a noble young lady here to train, but a Vasto Lorde-class Menos Grande-and a Vasto Lorde among Vasto Lordes, at that. In an instant, Tenjirō Kirinji, who always acted arrogant toward anyone outside Squad Zero, lowered his proud head. "I'm sorry."

"Pfft~"

Sōgo Shihoin could not help snickering at Tenjirō Kirinji being put in his place.

"You've got it rough too, Sōgo!"

Tenjirō Kirinji ignored Sōgo Shihoin's mockery and instead looked at him with pity.

"Enough chatter. I'm leaving my sister to you, One-Second Man."

Flustered and exasperated, Sōgo Shihoin started calling Tenjirō Kirinji by the nickname he had given him.

"Shut up! While I admit I'm the fastest man in Soul Society, or even all three worlds-Hueco Mundo, the World of the Living, and Soul Society-I'm no One-Second Man. Actually, I'm the type who looks incredibly weak but has surprisingly incredible stamina."

Tenjirō Kirinji picked up Sōgo's dirty joke and floored the accelerator.

"Hahahaha..." Not to be outdone, Sōgo burst out laughing before pushing Tenjirō Kirinji's dirty joke to even greater speeds. "You're killing me! You're the first person who's managed to wear himself out playing with himself somewhere without women like Squad Zero."

"Ha! Who says Squad Zero has no women? Are you discriminating against Ōetsu Nimaiya? Are you discriminating against his Zanpakuto maid corps? Are you saying humanoid life-forms manifested from Zanpakuto don't deserve to be called people? I'm reporting you to Central 46 for racial discrimination! Besides, isn't Ōetsu's Zanpakuto maid corps irresistible? They can satisfy all your sexual p*, from mature ladies to lolis, and even do multi-** activities. What's not to like?"

Tenjirō Kirinji's mouth rattled away at Sōgo like a machine gun...

"Can a life-form that gets horny over figurines it sculpted itself still count as human? Can it still count as a Soul Reaper? No, your kind can only be called scum. Ultimately, you weren't promoted to Squad Zero because you were outstanding, but because there was nowhere else in Soul Society for perverts like you."

Refusing to back down, Sōgo Shihoin raised his gun and rattled off a volley in return...

"We're no different in that respect. We in Squad Zero are birds locked in a cage in the sky, while you, the Shihoin little monster, are locked in a cage on the ground. We're all caged birds. No need to whip them out and compare sizes, is there?"

Tenjirō Kirinji put the question to Sōgo Shihoin.

"There's certainly no need to compare sizes. That would be far too vulgar."

Sōgo Shihoin nodded to Tenjirō Kirinji. On that point, he was quite in agreement.

"Ahahahaha..."

"Hahahaha..."

At that, Tenjirō Kirinji and Sōgo Shihoin both burst out laughing.

"Go die, both of you! You perverts!"

With a dark expression, Yoruichi Shihōin lifted Sōgo Shihoin, whom she held in her hand, then launched him like a magical treasure.

"Pfft..."

Sōgo Shihoin's head slammed straight into Tenjirō Kirinji's stomach. The older man and the boy, who had been laughing just a second earlier, vanished from Kisuke Urahara and Yoruichi Shihōin's sight and crashed into the Kirin Palace's training grounds, raising a wave of dust.

"Yoruichi, that's your own little brother and a big shot from Squad Zero!"

Kisuke Urahara gaped in surprise as he watched Sōgo Shihoin and Tenjirō Kirinji fly backward.

"The Shihoin family has no perverts like that!"

Yoruichi Shihōin spoke angrily, clenching her little fists. It was all her fault for letting her guard down and allowing even her own little brother to lose his innocence.

"Young lady~ Being so violent isn't good. You'll never find a husband."

Just as Yoruichi Shihōin clenched her fists and silently regretted it, a figure appeared before her, without her knowing when he had arrived.

"When did you...?"

Yoruichi Shihōin's and Kisuke Urahara's eyes both flickered. They had not noticed when the man before them had appeared at all. In other words, his Shunpo completely outpaced their reflexes.

"Don't look at me with such surprise. I was once known as Tenjirō the Lightning-Fast, after all. This speed is just so-so~"

Tenjirō Kirinji smiled faintly at the two. He enjoyed seeing other people surprised; it thoroughly satisfied his vanity.

"Lightning-fast, huh?"

Yoruichi Shihōin's gaze gradually grew serious.

"Yoruichi, is this your first time hearing that too?"

Kisuke Urahara asked as he watched Yoruichi's surprised expression. He had always thought she was as familiar with these people as Sōgo was!

"Because this is my first time entering Squad Zero's great hall too!" Yoruichi Shihōin turned back to answer Kisuke Urahara. "Before, I would go back after taking Sōgo to the Front Approach."

"I see."

Kisuke Urahara nodded lightly. He had thought opportunities to train with Squad Zero were commonplace for the Five Great Noble Clans. Now it seemed this opportunity was much rarer than he had imagined.

"Squad Zero is far more complicated than you imagine. Every member is a master among masters. How could we have time to play with you kids all day?"

Tenjirō Kirinji saw through Kisuke Urahara's thoughts and spoke bluntly.

"Then it looks like I'll have to treasure this opportunity even more."

Kisuke Urahara opened his eyes wide, gradually growing serious.

"Hahaha... While I'd love to play with you too, kid, I'm not your opponent. My job is just to teach Yoruichi Shihōin properly."

Tenjirō Kirinji chuckled at Kisuke Urahara's words. Although he could sense Urahara's potential, along with his restless fighting spirit and desire to challenge Squad Zero to see how far he stood below them, there was nothing he could do. He had already agreed to someone's request to help train someone's beloved older sister properly.

"Huh?" Urahara, who had intended to find out how far he stood below Squad Zero, froze briefly at Kirinji's words before asking, "Wait, then who's my opponent? There's only one Squad Zero member in this palace, right?"

"Your opponent is me~"

"Little Urahara~"

The instant Kisuke Urahara finished asking, a dark figure appeared beside him, casually draping an arm over his shoulders with a textbook villain's wicked grin on his face.

"Sōgo?"

Kisuke Urahara looked at the man who had appeared beside him without his noticing when, and a few drops of cold sweat beaded on his forehead.

(End of chapter)