Chapter 1: Shock! Me, Who Only Wanted Average, Actually...
In a world of pure white, there was a table, two chairs, and two humanoid lifeforms sitting face to face.
"You are already dead."
One of them, looking somewhat like a woman yet somewhat like a man, even resembling a saint yet resembling a rogue, unfortunately hanging limply as a humanoid lifeform, spoke toward the person sitting opposite.
"I know."
Answering the humanoid lifeform was a man with a handsome appearance, wearing an academic gown, who carried coolness and excellence all through his life.
"But you don't need to feel regret. As the 888th person to die on Earth today, you have obtained a chance at reincarnation. How is it? Are you feeling overjoyed?"
The humanoid lifeform spoke thus toward the man.
"A chance at reincarnation, huh?" The man crossed his arms over his chest and smiled slightly, maintaining his coolness even though he was already dead. "Very well."
"Then please choose the world you intend to reincarnate into."
The humanoid lifeform nodded slightly, produced a tablet computer out of thin air, and handed it to the man.
"No need. If possible, let's just make it random!"
The man glanced at the tablet, looked at the words such as ONE PIECE, NARUTO, and FAIRY TAIL displayed on it, and smiled slightly. He didn't understand a single one, so in order to maintain his coolness, he chose random.
"Alrighty~" The humanoid lifeform took back the tablet from the man's hand, pressed the random button, and after a rapid series of spins, it finally stopped on a BLEACH icon. "Congratulations, the world you are reincarnating into is BLEACH~ This is a world with plenty of beauties; I hope you work hard and become the harem king soon!"
"BLEACH? A strange name, but whatever... It doesn't matter."
The man smiled slightly; he was utterly open-minded.
"Then, last of all, is there anything you plan to say? For example, leaving some reluctant words for your parents, younger brothers, and sisters?"
The humanoid lifeform gave a gentle wave of the tablet in its hand, and it vanished without a trace. After finishing all this, it continued to ask.
"Words I want to say to them... Unnecessary. They will definitely understand me. But if possible, I actually have a question I'd like to ask you. I wonder if that's alright?"
The man first shook his head slightly toward the humanoid lifeform, then, as if remembering something, asked.
"Please go ahead. As long as it is something I know, I will definitely answer you."
The humanoid lifeform nodded gently toward the man.
"Um, that is... that girl, was she finally saved by me?"
The man's emotions were somewhat agitated as he nervously looked at the unknown humanoid unknown lifeform before him.
"Of course, under your efforts, she only sustained a few scrapes."
As the humanoid lifeform spoke, it snapped its fingers gently, and the image of a girl currently having her scrapes treated in a hospital appeared before the man's eyes.
"That is enough. My younger siblings and my parents, they will all be proud of me!"
The man looked at that scene and felt fulfilled.
"Is that so?" Hearing the man's words, the mysterious humanoid lifeform's lips twitched slightly. It was somewhat infected by the man's coolness, to the extent that it gave rise to a strong impulse. "I've decided! I'll give you a specially customized service! Tell me about the ideal life you want after reincarnation!"
"Whether you plan to have a harem, plan to obtain infinite power, or plan to become the wealthiest person in the world, any of them is fine!"
The humanoid lifeform made a loud proclamation toward the man.
"I don't have those kinds of ambitions! But if possible, I want to become a bit ordinary. After all, I've been far too excellent in this life; since childhood, I've been the sort of 'other people's child' spoken of by parents. Such a life is truly too uninteresting. If possible, I want to be a completely ordinary, um... just like other children, carefree every day as long as I can watch anime and play games. I remember people like that are called otaku, right?"
The man pondered for a long time. He recalled how, back in school, some children who were completely different from his little circle spent every day chatting about all sorts of ACG stuff and wearing happy smiles, and he spoke with a trace of yearning.
"Just that simple?"
The humanoid lifeform was slightly startled and asked in return.
"Er, actually it's not quite that simple either. I'm someone who still cares quite a bit about details, like appearance, family, and so on. In my next life, I just want mediocrity... um, meaning the average value. In short, a simpler life. And actually, I am the eldest son in my family! If possible, I hope to have an older brother or older sister to experience the feeling of being a younger brother or younger sister. As for my life... although I've always been very diligent and self-disciplined in this life, it was all forced by my parents; actually, I'm quite a lazy person by nature. In short, absolutely do not make me experience the feeling of being an heir ever again. I want to have the right to pursue my own life. Roughly that's all. How is it? Is it very difficult?"
The man was somewhat excited. He said a great deal, and only then did he remember to worry that his demands might be too excessive and impossible for the humanoid lifeform before him to fulfill.
"Very simple~"
"However, please wait a moment while I calculate."
The humanoid lifeform gently wiped away a tear of emotion from the corner of its eye, took out the tablet again, and began calculating.
"Average value..."
"Spiritual Pressure: The average of a high-dimensional soul and the strongest Spiritual Pressure of the BLEACH plane... the peak Soul King."
"Appearance: The average of a transmigrator and the most handsome person in the BLEACH world."
"Background: The average of a transmigrator and the royalty of the Seireitei in the BLEACH world."
"Lifespan: The average of a transmigrator and the longest-lived existence in the BLEACH world."
"Talent: The average of a transmigrator and..."
Accompanied by countless data flashing on the tablet, the humanoid lifeform finally reached a conclusion.
"The younger brother of Yoruichi Shihōin, head of the Shihoin family, one of the Five Great Noble Clans of Soul Society?"
The humanoid lifeform looked at the data obtained on its hand and nodded with satisfaction.
"Give yourself a name~"
The humanoid life-form happily asked the man before him,
"Let's use my original name!"
The man answered,
"No, that would feel really out of place. The world you're going to is more Japanese in style, so it'd be best to pick a Japanese name."
The humanoid life-form gently shook its head.
"Huh? Really?" The man felt a little troubled after hearing that. Although he was interested in Japanese manga and anime, family circumstances had kept him from learning much about them, so coming up with a Japanese name was proving difficult. "A Japanese name, huh? Come to think of it, I watched a few episodes of some Japanese anime with my younger brother before. What was it called? I think it was Gintama... I remember there was a really interesting character in it. I think his name was... huh?! It was Sōgo, right? Weird, what was that character's last name again? I don't think I remember..."
"OK~"
"Transmigration conditions met. Hope you have a 'fun' time~"
The humanoid life-form nodded lightly, then snapped its fingers in the air.
"Snap~"
Along with the sound by his ear, Sōgo Shihoin felt his vision go black.
Those of you with enough knowledge can count how many anime I parodied in chapter one~