But facing Pei Shen, Nanxing finally had to admit that the so-called sealed memories were nothing but self-deception.
How can deep love be erased?
It was just self-deception, a cover-up for her bleeding wound.
"Little Birdie-- " Pei Shen knelt on the footstool, held her hand tightly, and choked up as he called her name.
Nanxing suddenly looked up, her gaze meeting Pei Shen's self-reproachful and guilty eyes.
His eyes were actually red.
Pei Shen, he cried!
Even when she resolutely left before, he would always watch with a smile.
He said, "Little Birdie, you will come back."
Determined to win, victory is assured.
But now, even though she's back, even though she's right in front of him, he sheds tears in front of her for the first time.
"I'm sorry, Little Birdie." Pei Shen forced back his tears, but tears still glistened in the corners of his eyes.
He said, "It's my fault. I was too arrogant and failed to protect you."
When Nanxing met his gaze, a trace of regret began to rise in her heart.
She used the child and her own physical condition to scare Pei Shen, who was completely unsuspecting and believed her entirely.
He shouldn't be like this, Pei Shen!
He was so clever and cunning, his plans were flawless... She put a lot of thought into setting up this scheme.
She had considered all the possible points of doubt and devised solutions in advance.
What I didn't expect was that Pei Shen would believe whatever she said.
how so?
Nanxing felt a dull pain in his chest, as if he had been struck by a sledgehammer, leaving his flesh mangled and bloody.
"Little Birdie," Pei Shen pressed his face against the back of her hand, which was damp, "Take good care of yourself, and I'll avenge you."
The tears were cold and wet, but Nanxing felt the heat of the tears burning the back of her hand.
"Don't distance yourself from me anymore," Pei Shen murmured. "It's all my fault. You can hit me, you can scold me, but don't leave me without a word."
"Little Birdie, if you must leave, take me with you."
I never want to live a life of loneliness, where I can only find memories through old things.
"Little Birdie, I like you, more than you know; more than I know myself..."
Nanxing gritted his teeth, unable to speak for a long time.
Why has Pei Shen become so clingy to her?
Wasn't he always so aloof?
She felt a vague sense of regret.
No, she can't regret it.
Once the arrow is released, there's no turning back; it's too late for regrets now.
--Since Pei Shen believes she miscarried, then let him believe her.
That was her original intention.
Thinking of this, Nanxing said in a low voice, "I won't leave."
If she is guilty, she can stay to atone for her sins.
But given the current crisis, she needs Pei Shen's help.
All the blame lies with her alone.
She owes debts, and it's only right that she pays them back.
She originally felt that Pei Shen owed her something, but for some reason, seeing him now, Nanxing couldn't bring herself to harden her heart.
Women, your name is soft-hearted.
"We need to think about how to resolve this," Nanxing said.
She was a wanted criminal, Pei Shen took her away in full view of everyone. What about the law?
Pei Shen looked up at her, his eyes filled with comfort and tenderness.
He said, "Just focus on getting better; I'll take care of everything."
No sooner had he finished speaking than, as if to slap him in the face, a cacophony of footsteps sounded outside.
"Here, here!"
Mo Ting knocked on the door hurriedly. "My lord, the Golden Qilin Guard are here again. This time, it seems they have an imperial decree!"
Nanxing's expression suddenly changed.
She wanted to scheme against Pei Shen, but she didn't want Pei Shen to die.
Disobeying an imperial decree is a capital offense.
"I'm fine, I'll go with them," Nanxing said.
Pei Shen's face darkened. "Little Birdie, you still don't believe me!"
It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I don't want to drag you down with me.
Nanxing thought to herself with a self-deprecating smile, "Could this be considered a code of honor among thieves?"
He himself was the mastermind behind all of this.
"It's not about trust, I just don't want you to make unnecessary sacrifices," Nanxing said calmly.
As she spoke, she was about to get out of bed.
Unexpectedly, Pei Shen picked her up and carried her horizontally.
His warmth was palpable.
Nanxing almost bit her lip until it bled.
She said, "Pei Shen, calm down."
"Because of them, I just lost my child. How can I stay calm?" Pei Shen held her tightly. "Little Birdie, our child won't have died in vain. I will avenge him! I will! I swear!"
This time, he kept his word!
Seeing the fierce look in his eyes, Nanxing couldn't help but tremble.
"Are you cold?" Pei Shen hugged her even tighter.
Nanxing shook his head.
She wasn't cold; she just realized that there are no secrets that stay hidden forever.
Moreover, no one knew better than her how meticulous this man was.
She never imagined she could keep it from him for long.
But before, she thought, so what if he found out? Didn't he clumsily deceive her back then too?
However, she can no longer be so at ease.
Xiu'er said that Nanxing is like ice; she is not afraid of being treated coldly by others, but if others are even slightly warm towards her, she can melt away and give everything.
Sure enough, she just can't stand being treated well by others.
Pei Shen, I'm sorry.
Nanxing steeled herself, buried her face in Pei Shen's chest, and closed her eyes.
Since things have come to this, let's just give up and do whatever we want.
Pei Shen confronted the Golden Qilin Guard without yielding an inch. Holding Nanxing in his arms, he boarded the carriage and sneered, "No need to intimidate anyone with the imperial edict. I will naturally go to the palace to see the Emperor and confess my crimes later!"
The carriage moved slowly. Pei Shen took a blanket from the carriage and covered Nanxing with it, then lowered his head and said gently, "Little Birdie, don't be afraid. We'll be home soon."
Home?
From childhood to adulthood, Nanxing's most unattainable dream was this word.
She was an orphan, a suicide squad member, she had no home in the past and she will never have one in the future.
Home is the most extravagant dream in her heart.
Seriously, it feels like a luxury even in my wildest dreams.
"What are you going to do?" Nanxing asked.
She was so calm that even she was surprised.
"Me? Don't worry about me. The Emperor won't make things difficult for me because of this," Pei Shen said. "At most, he'll scold me for being absurd."
"Are you sure nothing will happen?"
"I'm not a repeat offender. From childhood to adulthood, this is the only thing I've ever done to cause the Emperor any worry."
For some reason, Nanxing always felt that this "habitual offender" had a hidden meaning.
"Just focus on taking care of yourself, be a good girl, don't run around, and don't let me lose you." Pei Shen stroked her head. "Little Birdie, will you be good?"
Nanxing remained silent for a long time.
Back at the Marquis's residence, after getting off the carriage, she tried to move herself, but Pei Shen still refused and insisted on carrying her down.
Pei Shen, I'm fine.
Let me hold you.
Pei Shen's voice trembled slightly, tinged with heartache.
Nanxing's throat moved slightly, as if he wanted to say something, but he swallowed it back down.