Unwilling

After Deng Gang left, peace returned to Wild Goose Pond Mountain.

Liu Zhijian needed only a day to collect himself before heading down the mountain to fish at night.

But gathering [Clear Qi Above the River] was becoming harder and harder.

Sometimes he went days, or even more than ten days, without catching a single small, fine-scaled fish.

"Master once said that some Qi Gathering Methods could take years or even decades to succeed."

"I thought it was an exaggeration then, but now I've seen it for myself."

Even though Liu Zhijian considered himself reasonably steadfast, he could not help growing restless. He even felt a faint stirring of regret: If I had, back at the flood dragon's cave abode...

Liu Zhijian noticed something was wrong and quickly suppressed the distracting thoughts.

There was no need to regret what was already done.

Even if he returned to the flood dragon's cave abode, Liu Zhijian would still make the same choice. He would not choose that strand of unknown [Kan Water] Heaven and Earth Spiritual Qi.

Just as Liu Zhijian had made up his mind and prepared for a protracted struggle, things unexpectedly took a turn.

No fortuitous opportunity fell from the heavens, nor did he attain enlightenment on the spot. Autumn had simply arrived.

Liu Zhijian did not know whether to laugh or cry.

After the start of autumn, gathering Qi suddenly became much easier.

Sometimes he could catch several small, fine-scaled fish in a single night.

"The Qi Gathering Method mentions gathering a full strand of [Heaven and Earth Spiritual Qi]..."

Liu Zhijian had also read Daoist scriptures and did some thinking of his own. What does full mean?!

Nine is the utmost of numbers. Does the number nine times nine make it full?!

No.

Beyond nine times nine, there are still more numbers, without end. It cannot be called full.

A fish basket is a container.

I thought filling the fish basket would count as gathering a full strand.

But now there's the added imagery of the seasons.

A year spans four seasons and has three hundred and sixty-five days, the number of a heavenly cycle.

So do I need to catch three hundred and sixty-five small, fine-scaled fish?!

Liu Zhijian glanced at the number of small fish in his basket and could not help sighing. "Either way, the burden is heavy and the road is long."

The bleak autumn wind swept yellow leaves from the ground and stirred white funeral drapes.

A funeral was being held at the foot of Wild Goose Pond Mountain.

An elderly person had failed to make it through the autumn, dying after merely catching a chill.

Liu Zhijian's gaze grew distant. He thought of his parents and, even more, wondered whether his own day would soon come if he failed to cultivate the Dao.

"Birth, old age, sickness, and death-who can escape them?!" Elder Luo was advanced in years himself, and he felt it more deeply.

Though Jiang Xiaoyu was still young and barely understood death, she sensed that something was wrong with the atmosphere and did not go play with her friends.

After the funeral, Elder Luo seemed to feel a growing sense of urgency.

While Jiang Xiaoyu was down the mountain playing, Elder Luo paid Liu Zhijian a visit of his own accord for the first time, bringing a pot of unfiltered wine with him.

Liu Zhijian was flattered and hastily invited Elder Luo inside to sit.

After a few cups of unfiltered wine, Elder Luo began to speak of the past. "I was the son of a hunter in a mountain village. My family wasn't wealthy, but we never lacked food or clothing. My mother was kind, my father loving, and I had an obedient little sister."

"Sadly, my parents went into the mountains and died in a yao's jaws. Then my uncles seized our inheritance. They not only took our fields and property but sold my sister and me as well."

"I was young and ignorant then. I didn't dare resist at all."

"I served as a slave in the Wave-Subduing Gang for eight years before I gained a little freedom and could go out to look for my sister."

"I never imagined my uncles were such greedy, vicious beasts."

"They'd agreed to sell her to a wealthy family in the neighboring county as a playmate for their daughter. But for an extra hundred copper coins, those beasts went back on their word and sold her to a brothel madam instead."

"My sister was the same age as Xiao Yu'er then."

"By the time I found her, she..."

Liu Zhijian listened in stunned silence. For a moment, he did not know what to say, and could only pour Elder Luo another cup of wine.

Elder Luo sighed, holding his wine cup as he went on. "When my sister and I recognized each other and clung to each other, weeping, that brothel madam was still rushing her and cursing her..."

"I was furious and gave the madam a terrible beating."

"When I turned back, I found that my sister had already thrown herself into the river."

Liu Zhijian said nothing. He only gulped down a large mouthful of wine, choking and coughing without pause, tears in his eyes.

"Heh..."

Elder Luo actually gave a laugh, his aged face twisted with hatred and satisfaction. "That night, I poisoned the brothel's well, then burned the whole place to the ground."

"Then I went back to the village and wiped out the households of all my uncles and neighbors."

"I thought I was sure to die, but I never imagined I'd catch the eye of the Wave-Subduing Gang's old leader because of it. He secretly protected me and even taught me a Secret Method."

Elder Luo looked back at the high hump on his back and smiled self-mockingly. "Though practicing it made me neither human nor ghost, my killing methods grew ever more formidable."

"From then on, I never stopped killing."

"At the time, I thought that in this filthy world, everyone was steeped in sin, and everyone had a hand in my sister's death."

"By killing them, I was not only avenging my sister but also helping them find release."

"I no longer remember exactly how many I killed, and I can't be bothered to count."

"Then, half a year ago, I met Xiao Yu'er."

"Her own uncle was selling her at the time."

"Her uncle was haggling with a slave trader over a hundred copper coins, and I happened to overhear."

Liu Zhijian found it hard to believe.

"Coincidence, or fate?!"

"I no longer care to tell the difference."

The hatred and satisfaction vanished from Elder Luo's face, leaving only numbness. "I practiced the Secret Method, damaging my body and mind. I killed countless people in my life, until I became neither human nor ghost, mad and muddleheaded."

"I never expected that, on the verge of death, I would still find such a bond."

"My sister was clearly very dim, nowhere near as bright and quick-witted as Xiao Yu'er, and they looked nothing alike."

"And yet I saw my sister's shadow in Xiao Yu'er."

"For her sake, I even killed the orphaned child of my benefactor."

Liu Zhijian could hardly judge Elder Luo's life, so he could only offer comfort. "Perhaps it was heaven's will. You and Xiao Yu'er saved each other."

"It doesn't matter anymore." Elder Luo gave a laugh and said softly, "Because I'm going to die."

Having listened to the story, Liu Zhijian naturally understood that there was a reason for this. He set down his cup and asked, "Elder Luo, do you have any wishes?"

"Xiao Yu'er, of course." Elder Luo looked at Liu Zhijian and said softly, "It's rare for you and Xiao Yu'er to get along so well."

"You're also one of the few good people I've met in my life."

After hearing the story, Liu Zhijian knew he could not refuse Elder Luo's dying request to entrust Xiao Yu'er to him. "Rest assured, Senior. As long as I live, I'll keep her safe."

"Good." Elder Luo wasted no words and took a small booklet from his robes. "This is the Secret Method I practiced..."

"There's no need." Without even looking at it, Liu Zhijian shook his head and refused. "I don't need it."

"Mm." Elder Luo nodded and put it away again. "This thing harms others and its user alike. Let it perish with me."

The next day.

Elder Luo came to see Lin Zhijian, holding Jiang Xiaoyu's hand. Her eyes were red. This was to formally entrust her to his care.

Liu Zhijian sighed, took Jiang Xiaoyu's hand, and wiped away her tears.

Elder Luo looked deeply at Jiang Xiaoyu, then slowly said, "I can feel that my end is near. I don't want to die in bed."

"I've killed countless people in my life and committed grievous sins. There's no need for a grave or a headstone."

"While I can still walk, I'll go to the White Dragon River and end what remains of my life. Perhaps I can reunite with my sister after death."

"If there is a next life, I only wish to be a bird or a fish, knowing nothing, living out my life free and at ease."

"Alas..."

"The human world is too bitter. I never want to return."