Quack Doctor (1)

When Su Ziyang came out of the bathroom, Er Biao was still sitting very reservedly at the living room table, his posture unchanged from when he first sat down. The pack of Zhonghua cigarettes and the donkey-hide gelatin he had just taken were neatly placed on the table.

"Relax."

Su Ziyang looked at Er Biao, who was so reserved, and saw that he was completely different from the movie star who had pretended to be sick that day. He could imagine that Er Biao was definitely a movie star.

Su Ziyang dried his hair as he sat down on the small chair next to Er Biao.

"Hehe, Doctor Su, you're so kind, please let me off the hook!"

Er Biao looked at Su Ziyang with embarrassment, rubbing his hands together incessantly, his expression even more nervous than when he first arrived.

"Stop! Stop! It's not that I'm being magnanimous; I only let you in because I heard you say outside that you would never do such a despicable thing again!"

Su Ziyang threw the towel on the table.

Hearing Su Ziyang repeat his earlier offhand promise, Er Biao's expression darkened further. He could only nod sheepishly and quickly promise, "I definitely won't do it anymore, I definitely won't do it anymore."

"Do you mean what you say? Swear it!"

When Su Ziyang is serious, his aura is incredibly powerful. Er Biao, however, is worried about the "spiritual master" behind Su Ziyang. So, Er Biao extends his hand and says seriously to Su Ziyang, "If I, Er Biao, ever do that kind of thing again, may I be struck by lightning and die a horrible death."

"What do you want?!" Su Ziyang said irritably.

"If I ever engage in malicious medical disturbances again, may I be struck by lightning and die a horrible death!!!"

Looking into Su Ziyang's deep eyes, Er Biao swallowed hard and gritted his teeth as he spoke.

"Okay!" Su Ziyang nodded, gesturing for Er Biao to sit still. "You sit down properly!"

"Um, um, Doctor Su, can I ask you something? The shaman in the next village burns incense and kowtows all the time, but you don't have any of that."

To ease the awkward atmosphere, Er Biao took the initiative to change the subject.

Su Ziyang smiled but did not answer Er Biao.

In fact, ever since Er Biao started talking about "the immortal" and "the immortal" all the time, Su Ziyang neither admitted nor denied it. Since Er Biao had this kind of cultural belief, he didn't expose him. Using this belief to restrain Er Biao and prevent him from continuing to engage in malicious medical disturbances was a good thing.

"Just sit down! I'll ask you one more time, are you serious about what you just said?"

Su Ziyang patted Er Biao on the shoulder, Er Biao jumped in surprise due to his high tension.

"Really? Really!"

Er Biao raised the hand he had just used to swear an oath.

"Alright. Since you've suffered too, I'll let you off this time."

Su Ziyang grabbed Er Biao by the back of the neck with one hand, his fingers twitching rapidly.

Acupressure can relieve the symptoms.

Su Ziyang pressed Er Biao's Kongzui and Yuji acupoints, both of which are acupoints on the Lung Meridian. The Lung Meridian is the first meridian in the human body and it runs during the Yin hour (3-5 AM) every day.

The nose is the external orifice of the lungs, so Er Biao's first symptom was nosebleeds.

Secondly, he was afraid of cold and wind. The lungs are the body's protective canopy, governing the body's vital energy and defending against external threats. Therefore, after the lung meridian malfunctioned, Er Biao's overall immunity also began to decline, and he started to be afraid of cold and wind.

As for the swelling in the arm, that's caused by poor blood circulation in the local area.

Su Ziyang first cleared Er Biao's neck to allow blood and qi to flow quickly to the head. The head is the meeting place of all yang, and many meridians pass through the neck. Clearing the neck can quickly boost a person's yang energy.

The Lung Meridian of Hand-Taiyin has eleven acupoints, described in a mnemonic rhyme. "Eleven acupoints of the Lung Meridian of Hand-Taiyin: Zhongfu, Yunmen, Tianfu, Xiabai, Chize, Kongzui, Lieque, Jingqu, Taiyuan, Yuji, and Shaoshang (like a leek leaf)."

The lowest acupoint after Kongzui is Lieque, named after the god of thunder and lightning, who possesses the power to penetrate heaven and earth. Thunder and lightning also signify speed and rapidity.

The key to relieving Er Biao's pain lies in the Lieque acupoint. Su Ziyang grasped Er Biao's swollen forearm and pressed down hard with his thumb, causing Er Biao to groan in pain.

"What are you yelling about, you grown man? Are you afraid of pain?"

Hearing Su Ziyang reprimand him, Er Biao gritted his teeth and dared not utter another sound.

Su Ziyang pressed down hard with his thumb, then pushed hard and pulled back.

Ah~

Er Biao let out a loud yell, startling Su Ziyang. Su Ziyang looked at Er Biao in confusion. "Does it hurt that much?"

Er Biao was in so much pain that he couldn't speak. He hugged his arm, closed his eyes, gritted his teeth, and stomped his feet.

"Ouch, does it hurt that much!"

Looking at Er Biao, Su Ziyang thought for a moment and said, "Oh right, I forgot, we still need to apply some medicine. Oh, I forgot! It won't hurt anymore once the medicine is applied!"

The excruciating pain made Er Biao want to curse, but he couldn't open his mouth.

It wasn't until Su Ziyang slowly applied the pale yellow ointment to Er Biao's forearm that Er Biao felt a cool sensation seeping into his arm, and the pain began to gradually subside.

"Alright! Alright. Stop pretending."

After applying the ointment, Su Ziyang looked at Er Biao with a smile.

Er Biao was in so much pain that tears streamed down his face. Looking at Su Ziyang, who was laughing at him, a look of helplessness flashed across his face.

"Doctor Su, may I ask you, when you press this button, should I apply the medicine first or last?"

Er Biao wiped away his tears, his speech still somewhat incoherent due to the pain.

"Logically, I should apply it first. But I forgot. However, it doesn't matter. Apart from a slight sting, the effect is the same."

After putting away the ointment for promoting blood circulation and removing blood stasis, Su Ziyang slowly explained it to Er Biao.

"Doctor Su, to tell you the truth, haven't you forgiven me yet?" Er Biao looked at Su Ziyang with teary eyes.

"You swore to God, of course I forgive you. I've already solved your problem, haven't I? It just hurts a little, just a tiny bit! Men! Just bear with it and it'll pass!" Su Ziyang explained to Er Biao in a serious tone, and even patted Er Biao on the shoulder.

"..."

Er Biao glanced helplessly at Su Ziyang.

"Alright, stop looking. You're fine now, just need some rest! Go home, I'm tired, I'm going to rest!"

Su Ziyang didn't stand on ceremony with Er Biao at all and directly kicked Er Biao out.

Er Biao was still a little uneasy because he hadn't seen the kind of burning of paper money and incense that he was used to seeing.

"Doctor Su, you've forgiven me! Have your spirit mediums forgiven me?!"

Er Biao didn't dare to get up and tentatively asked.

"I forgive you, I forgive you! That's enough! It's alright. Go back to work and find a job. We're about the same age, why do something like this!"

Su Ziyang wiped the ointment off his hands, waved his hand, and also gave Er Biao a few words of advice.

"Good, that's good. Oh, Doctor Su, I really admire you. Look at you, so young, so capable, with a great job, and so handsome too. Your future is limitless!"

Er Biao started flattering him.

"Don't try to flatter me, just keep your promise."

Su Ziyang waved his hand and then tidied up the things on the table.

"Doctor Su, to be honest, I also went to a nursing school. But I didn't study hard back then, and I can't compare to top students like you!"

Su Ziyang felt that Er Biao had suffered, so after he helped him release his pressure points, he wanted him to leave quickly so he could rest.

As a result, Er Biao started chatting with Su Ziyang, which made Su Ziyang a little annoyed. However, when Er Biao mentioned that he had attended a nursing school, Su Ziyang found it strange.

Nursing schools, short for health schools, are vocational secondary schools that train entry-level professionals in medical fields. They primarily teach students theoretical knowledge and practical skills. Typical nursing schools offer majors such as nursing, pharmacy, clinical medicine, medical laboratory science, and medical imaging. They mainly enroll current and past graduates of junior and senior high schools.

In this case, one usually first needs to pass the exam to become a licensed assistant physician, and then pass the exam to become a licensed physician before one can be considered a legitimate doctor.

However, Su Ziyang thought again that Er Biao was probably not entirely at ease with him letting him go, and was just making up stories to get closer to him.

"Don't try to get close to me, just get out of here. Take this thing! Don't forget your promise!"

Seeing that Su Ziyang didn't respond, Er Biao was slightly embarrassed, but still didn't leave. "Doctor Su, I'm really not trying to get close to you. I really did graduate from a nursing school. You still don't believe me? Let me tell you something, and you'll definitely believe me. It was that rich second-generation guy from your clinic, Fu Xinyu, who paid me to mess with you!"

Upon hearing Er Biao's words, Su Ziyang was stunned, then a smile appeared on his face, "Haha, it really is him. You just sold him out to your employer like that!?"

"Doctor Su, when I inquired about where you live, the people at the clinic spoke highly of you, saying you are both virtuous and skilled. I didn't say that myself; it was an older woman who came out of the clinic today who told me. I also asked the lady at the cashier's office, and she knows you too, and she praised you as well."

Er Biao, still a bit weak from talking, paused to catch his breath and continued, "I know there are many quacks in this world. If you're one of those people who prescribes expensive drugs just to make money, I absolutely won't tell you anything today. If you're that kind of quack, I'd love for someone like Fu Xinyu to teach you a lesson, to kill you!"

Er Biao made no attempt to hide his hatred for quack doctors from Su Ziyang. Su Ziyang suddenly found this medical malpractice a bit amusing and became interested. He took out the tea set on the table, brewed a cup of Tieguanyin tea, and poured a cup for Er Biao.

Er Biao was somewhat flattered as he accepted the tea from Su Ziyang, thanking him repeatedly. Er Biao thought Su Ziyang would ask him about Fu Xinyu, but Su Ziyang didn't.

Do you hate quack doctors that much?

Su Ziyang smiled and asked Er Biao.

When Er Biao heard Su Ziyang ask him that question, he excitedly put down his teacup on the table. "I don't just hate them, I hate that they're not all dead!"

Er Biao got excited and a little out of breath, so Su Ziyang quickly gestured for him to have some tea and speak slowly.

Er Biao was probably thirsty too, because after downing two cups of tea, he finally spoke, "Doctor Su, I'm not kidding you, I went to a nursing school, but I only stayed for two months before I was expelled. Hehe!"

Er Biao scratched his head a little embarrassed as he said this.

"I didn't believe it before, but I do now. How can you still expel me?"

Basically, in universities and vocational schools, as long as you don't commit any fundamental mistakes, it's virtually impossible for you to be expelled.

"Well, it all started with quack doctors. I studied acupuncture and massage at nursing school. I was thinking of studying for two years, going back to my county, opening a massage parlor, and making a little money. I don't know what you studied in college, Doctor Su, but I remember our first course was called 'Fundamentals of Traditional Chinese Medicine'!"

Er Biao reminisced as he spoke.

"I also studied acupuncture and moxibustion, which is indeed the basic theory of traditional Chinese medicine." Su Ziyang took a sip of tea and nodded to show his agreement with what Er Biao said.

"Oh dear, we're practically in the same line of work. Of course, I'm the one who's honored, haha." Er Biao said with a chuckle.

"Haha, not at all. We're all in the same industry. Please continue!"

Su Ziyang refilled Er Biao's teacup and then gestured for Er Biao to continue.

"That teacher who taught basic Traditional Chinese Medicine was really interesting. He practiced at a private TCM clinic. He gave us a lot of case studies of the patients he treated at the clinic, and he could cure all sorts of strange and unusual diseases. Our class was completely captivated."

Er Biao still had a smile on his face when he got to this point.

"That's truly an extraordinary person!"

Su Ziyang couldn't help but sigh.

Unexpectedly, Er Biao shook his head. "Doctor Su, let me continue. We all know that people eat grains and other foods, so it's inevitable that some people will get sick, right?"

"Yes!" Su Ziyang nodded.

"Then all the students in our class rushed to add his contact information, treating him like a god. Many girls would surround this teacher after class, chattering and asking him questions! Later, some students in the class went to him for medical treatment! They would ask him about any discomfort they had!"

As Er Biao spoke, his expression gradually turned serious. After taking a sip of tea, he cleared his throat and continued, "Of course, the news of people seeking his medical help is only circulating in a small circle, and mostly among women. They see him for things like menstrual cramps or acne. We don't know the specific effects or cures, but it's true that many women do seek his treatment!"

"Well, I'm usually in pretty good health. But maybe because I'm in a different place, I'm having some trouble adjusting to the new environment. I had diarrhea for a month straight, and I looked quite unwell. That's when I remembered this teacher. So I contacted him. He was very quick, polite, and kind. He told me to just come over, he'd take a look at me, and that I didn't need to make an appointment, I could just go directly to him!"

"The consultation process was very simple. When I arrived, he wasn't in a hurry. He took my pulse and said I had acclimatization issues and spleen deficiency, so he prescribed me herbal medicine. To be honest, I didn't have much experience with medicine, so I should have asked beforehand how much it would cost. I brought 300 yuan with me, thinking it would be enough, but when I went to pay, do you know how much seven days' worth of medicine costs?"

Er Biao's face turned extremely ugly.

Su Ziyang looked at Er Biao and boldly asked, "Seven hundred? One hundred yuan a day?"

Er Biao was six or seven years older than Su Ziyang, so his expenses during his school years must have been much lower than they are now, which is why Su Ziyang dared to make that guess.

Er Biao shook his head with a wry smile, then held up two fingers. "Two thousand!"

"How much? Holy crap!"

Su Ziyang vomited up all the tea he had just drunk.