Little Scumbag's Imminent Rebirth

The Asura God watched as Tang San was driven to the edge of the cliff atop Ghost's Sorrow in the Bashu Tang Sect after being caught stealing the sect's cultivation techniques.

Faced with their questioning, he threw back his head and laughed. "I, Tang San, have never forgotten my roots. I never have, and I never will."

Then he rambled on and on about how he owed them nothing before leaping off the cliff.

The Asura God watched, praising him again and again.

Just look.

He had stolen the sect's cultivation techniques, yet not only did he feel no guilt, he could even stand there self-righteously before jumping off the cliff.

That shameless temperament, that peerless gift for double standards-he was simply the perfect candidate to work for Destruction in his place... ahem, to inherit the Asura God's divine position.

The Asura God calculated the time. This was about when a child of destiny should be born on the Douluo Continent, so he prepared to stuff this fish fry into the child of destiny's body.

Focusing his gaze, the Asura God couldn't help being slightly stunned.

On the Douluo Plane, two rising stars of destiny were ascending at the same time.

He traced them back, and delight immediately filled him.

Tang Hao, who was fighting a bloody battle, was one of his backup fish fry, while Tang Xiao, on the other side, was Tang Hao's elder brother.

The two men's grandfather, Tang Chen, was the fine fish fry who had nearly inherited the Asura God's divine position before.

Their two fine sons had actually become children of destiny at the same time.

Absurdity's mother had opened the door for absurdity-this was absurdity all the way home.

"Not bad, truly not bad," the Asura God marveled inwardly.

The grandfather was an old fish fry, the father was a backup fish fry, and now the fine son was the successor fish fry he had personally chosen.

The Tang Family was loyal and devoted to the last man; they deserved to dedicate their lives to the Divine Realm's great cause.

His mind made up, the Asura God promptly stuffed Tang San's soul into the baby boy Xiao Wu had just given birth to.

But the moment Tang San's soul entered, a sudden change occurred.

Another soul from a different world appeared out of thin air, attempting to possess his fish fry.

"Big nerve! You dare touch this God King's fish fry? You already have a way to die..."

The Asura God gathered his divine sense and was about to strike, but suddenly recognized the presence attached to the soul.

The Sea God's presence?

Poseidon?

The Asura God froze. According to the Divine Realm's rules, gods were strictly forbidden from privately interfering with the lower realms. But he was a God King, so naturally the rules didn't apply to him...

All right, actually, as long as the God of Destruction didn't find out, it was no big deal. Otherwise, he would find another excuse to make him work a few more years of overtime.

At the thought of the Sea God's miserable circumstances over the years, more than half the anger in the Asura God's heart immediately dissipated, replaced by the bitterness and sympathy of a fellow sufferer.

The Sea God Poseidon had ascended from the Douluo Continent to become a god and was currently acknowledged as the strongest First-Level God in the Divine Realm.

But precisely because of his outstanding strength, the Sea God had become the number one choice of premium livestock in the God of Destruction's eyes, second only to the three God Kings.

The three God Kings at least had their titles to their names. No matter how crazed Destruction was, he still left them six hours to catch their breath, making them work only eighteen hours a day.

But the Sea God was only a First-Level God. Faced with the God of Destruction at the God King Realm, he could be suppressed with a single slap.

And so Destruction assigned the Sea God a daily work schedule of twenty-three hours, fifty-nine minutes, and fifty-nine seconds.

Not long ago, a divine official under the Sea God had carelessly made a mistake at work and been remade on the spot with a slap from the God of Destruction.

After that, how could the Sea God dare utter so much as half a word of refusal?

Trying to find a way out of his crushing workload, the Sea God could only ask the Asura God why Destruction had gone crazy while slacking off at work.

After learning the truth, the Sea God had secretly cursed the love-addled fool in private, but ultimately failed to find a way out. Each day, he was angry but dared not speak, and could only slack off and loaf around in the cracks.

As fellow beasts of burden, why make things difficult for each other?

The Asura God sighed, all his displeasure turning to understanding.

Hmm?

You ask if there really was that much work in the Divine Realm?

There was, brother, there was.

The Divine Realm governed 108 lower planes, and one day in the Divine Realm was one year in the lower realms.

Every day, the Divine Realm had to handle 108 years' worth of work, and that was only lower-realm business, not counting other miscellaneous matters.

Fortunately, they were gods with powerful divine senses, so they could run their CPUs on overload until they smoked without crashing.

But even gods could grow weary at heart.

Forget it. Nobody had it easy.

The Asura God went with the flow and stuffed the soul bearing the Sea God's presence into the baby boy Ah Rou had just given birth to next door.

Once he was done, the Asura God began to feel a headache coming on at the thought of today's work. He rolled over in bed, with the constant feeling that he had forgotten something.

In just that short while, dozens of minutes had passed in the lower realm. He finally remembered what he had forgotten.

The Asura God hurriedly glanced at the great battle in the valley below.

What he saw nearly made him jump up on the spot.

There in the thick of the battle, Tang Hao and Tang Xiao had already been driven into a desperate situation and were in a wretched state.

"What Big nerve! If the fine father of this God King's chosen fish fry dies, who will protect this God King's fish fry on his path?"

The Asura God cursed under his breath and hurriedly used Tang Hao's Divine Slaughter's Domain as a medium to send down a strand of divine power, giving Tang Hao a buff.

Just then, an irritable voice transmission suddenly rang out in the Asura God's mind: "Asura, get up and get to work!"

The Asura God shuddered violently and glanced at the time on instinct.

Six hours, zero minutes, zero seconds, zero milliseconds, and one microsecond in the morning.

That one-microsecond discrepancy was caused by the time it had taken him to check.

The Asura God clenched his teeth, his face twitching.

Not a second off.

Since the beginning of the universe, how could there have been such a punctual beast?

The Asura God dared not delay another moment and hurriedly sped toward the Divine Realm Core.

Douluo Continent.

The flames of battle spread across the entire valley floor. The stench of blood hung thick and would not disperse, while the sound of great hammers clashing rang out without end.

Tang Xiao and Tang Hao stood back to back, drenched in blood.

Around them, the Fifth Elder, the Sixth Elder, and the Seventh Elder Tang Lie stood in the air in a triangular formation. Hundreds of sect disciples were spread across the ground, surrounding the two men completely.

Inside the wooden hut, Ah Rou and Xiao Wu, who had just given birth, were barely breathing, each protectively holding a crying, hungry baby in her arms.

This was all a scheme Tang Hao had planned.

He had calculated that the two women would be weak and powerless after giving birth, that moving would be difficult for them, and that they would be even less able to withstand being jostled high in the air. Therefore, there was no way he could use his pole vault to escape again.

He had deliberately left traces to draw the sect's forces here, intending to put on a grand show of risking his life to protect them at the critical moment. He would force Xiao Wu to offer herself as a Sacrifice to save the child, allowing him to accept her Soul Ring and Soul Bone with a smile and every justification, while cementing his image as a devoted lover.

He had even written a name for this script: Sacrifice Yourself, My Love.

But he had never expected the situation to collapse to this extent.

After a long, bitter fight, the three titled elders and hundreds of sect disciples had joined forces in a fierce assault, giving them no chance to catch their breath.

"Pfft-"

Tang Hao was struck head-on by a heavy hammer blow of blazing flames from Tang Lie. He went flying sideways, blood spraying wildly from his mouth.

Tang Xiao, beside him, had likewise been beaten until he spat blood, his hands trembling.

Tang Hao lay on the ground, trembling all over from the pain, and roared in his heart:

Sacrifice yourself! Xiao Wu, hurry up and sacrifice yourself! I'm about to get beaten to death! Why haven't you sacrificed yourself yet?

Don't you love your Brother Hao anymore? Don't you want to protect me? Do you want that child to be buried with us too? Sacrifice yourself for me, ahhhhh-

He had thought that as long as he put on a show of risking his life to protect her, Xiao Wu would cry and shout as she offered herself as a Sacrifice. Then all he had to do was reluctantly absorb the Soul Ring and pole-vault away.

Who knew those old fellows would strike so viciously, aiming every blow at his vital points? Tang Hao felt as though his internal organs were about to rupture from the impact.

But from Xiao Wu's side, there was no movement at all.

If the fight went on like this, he would become a corpse for real before his self-injury ploy was even finished.

Just as Tang Hao was going mad inside, a sudden change occurred.

A vast pressure poured down from the sky.

The disciples and the three elders were stunned at first, then cried out in alarm:

"Sect master?"

"The sect master actually came in person?!"

The level ninety-five Super Douluo Tang Zhen stood in the air. Beside him, the deathly pale Ah Rou and Xiao Wu had already been restrained, the two women protectively holding their swaddled babies in their arms.

Tang Hao's pupils contracted, and his head buzzed.

"Father..."

His fine father had actually come in person, crossed the battlefield, and captured Ah Rou and Xiao Wu alive without a sound.