I Urge You Not to Treasure Your Gold-Threaded Robes

At thirty, Zhou Yuwen had a car, a home, and savings, yet he still couldn't escape his mother's pressure to marry.

"If you don't get married soon, I'll jump off the building!" She even threatened to kill herself.

Zhou Yuwen was at a loss.

He said, "It's not that I don't want to get married, but the woman you found for me isn't right."

"What isn't right about her?!" His mother glared at him, eyes wide.

So Zhou Yuwen listed the things that weren't right.

First, her age wasn't right.

Before he could finish, his mother shot back, "What's wrong with her age? Isn't she the same age as you? She hasn't even complained that you're thirty, and you're looking down on her? Take a look at yourself! You don't even have a proper job. All you do is play on the computer all day! Apart from making a little money, what else have you got?"

Zhou Yuwen had meant to speak to his mother calmly, but her words left him speechless.

Zhou Yuwen said, "I'm thirty because I've spent my time making money."

"I started writing novels in my second year of high school. I've been writing for thirteen years. Since I started, apart from the occasional day off when I wasn't feeling well, I've written twenty thousand characters every day for more than five thousand days. It wasn't easy to save up a little money! What about her?"

"She's thirty because she went away to date someone. She looked down on our hometown in Northern Jiangsu and insisted on marrying into a big city. After living with the guy for five years, he decided it was time to get married, found someone of matching social status, and kicked her back here."

"What? I worked my ass off all those years just to find a woman someone else didn't want, spend 388,000 yuan on a bride price, and happily marry her?"

"Am I crazy? Sorry, I don't have that little self-respect!"

Zhou Yuwen let out a torrent of words, but his mother merely paused, then said, "Why do you have to put it so harshly?"

His mother said everyone had a romantic past. He couldn't think she was a bad girl just because she'd lived with someone for a few years.

The fact that she'd lived with him for years without breaking up showed she was a steady girl, someone suited to building a life together. After they married, she would settle down and build a life with him too.

"The bride price is a little high, but doesn't it all depend on how things go between you two? Some couples hit it off so well that the woman doesn't ask for a penny!" His mother was as naive as ever, and she even started to talk about how things were in her day again.

Zhou Yuwen just sneered. "Oh, come on, Mom! You're talking about people who fall in love on their own. That's not what I'm doing."

"Blind dating is a marketplace, okay? Everyone's weighing the pros and cons. You say if we hit it off, she won't ask for a penny? Don't make me laugh. If there were a girl that good, she wouldn't still be single at thirty!"

Zhou Yuwen wouldn't listen to reason. His mother had wanted to keep earnestly persuading him, but seeing him like this, she hardened her heart and snapped, "Then why don't you find someone yourself?"

"You seem pretty good at romance in the novels you write. Why can't you do it yourself?"

"Look at Xiao Wang next door. He had a child as soon as he graduated from high school! And look at you. You're thirty and can't even find a wife!"

That made Zhou Yuwen angry. He said, "Do you think I didn't want to find someone?"

"Weren't you the one who said I should focus on studying while I was in school? That once I got into a good university, I'd have everything!"

"Oh, and did you get in? Now you're blaming me? Was I the one who stopped you from finding someone? You're the one who can't find anyone!"

"You really think you're something special because you can make a little money? Let me tell you! People out there call someone like you an idle member of society! You're lucky if any woman takes a fancy to you, and you're still being picky!"

Zhou Yuwen slammed the table and sprang to his feet!

He startled his mother, who took a step back. "What are you doing?!"

Zhou Yuwen's teeth itched with anger. "Forget it! I'm going out for a while!"

With that, Zhou Yuwen turned and left, getting into the elevator.

In the first basement level, Zhou Yuwen pressed a button on his car key.

His newly purchased white Audi A4 was like a battle pet waiting for its master, its headlights lighting up like eyes.

He opened the door and got in.

He drove slowly out of the residential complex.

Zhou Yuwen felt that he and his mother simply couldn't see eye to eye!

What did she mean, he couldn't find anyone?

She was clearly the one who'd told him to study hard back then. Even if they didn't fight for a steamed bun, they had to fight for their pride! He had to show his scumbag father what he could do!

She'd also said he should be devoted to one partner and not date too early, because early relationships never worked out.

He had to study, work hard to make money, save up a good sum, and then find a suitable wife. After that, he was to spend all his money on his wife, cherish her, and love her!

Zhou Yuwen really wasn't gifted when it came to studying, but he'd had some modest success making money.

At the very least, he had a car and a home, and didn't have to worry about food or drink.

But just as he'd finally built up his initial capital and was thinking of finding a kind, gentle woman to be his one and only for life, it suddenly hit him-

Damn it! All the good ones had already been picked!

Those left were all different heights, shapes, and sizes!

Or they had five years of living with an ex, or three years of dating behind them. More outrageous still, these women opened their mouths and said, "My ex treated me badly, so you have to treat me well!"

"My ex wasn't willing to spend money on me, so from now on I want someone who will!"

Hearing that, Zhou Yuwen really was a little speechless.

Zhou Yuwen thought about how he'd worked hard to make money, never putting down his pen for more than a decade, painstakingly carving out his little patch of land from nothing, one character at a time, only to end up eating someone else's leftovers!

Fuck, then what was I working so hard to make money for?

When he was young, he hadn't been good with words and hadn't liked joking and fooling around with girls. All he'd done was stay home in that little two-bedroom apartment in a dormitory building, clacking away at his novels. Meanwhile, the women were being taken on a Ninebot by some blond punk to a ten-yuan hotel room to grunt and groan.

Then, after clacking away for ten years, he'd finally thought he'd waited for the clouds to part and the moon to shine.

Yet in the end, he'd still be marrying someone the blond punks had used up and picked over?

He might as well have smashed his computer back then, run to the hotel, handed Blond Bro ten yuan, and said, "Bro, let me have a turn when you're done!"

One hand on the steering wheel and the other on the center console, Zhou Yuwen grew angrier the more he thought about it.

Zhou Yuwen thought, Fuck, if I'd known that after working hard all these years I'd still have to pay for someone another guy had finished playing with, I'd have been better off swallowing my worthless pride and getting with whoever I could back then!

Don't let the good girls down, and don't let the bad girls down either!

Those words are fucking true!

This world laughs at poverty, not prostitution.

What does it matter that I have a car and a home now?

In the end, wouldn't I still be playing with someone else's leftovers?

Worst of all, Blond Bro only had to play around, while I'd have to worry about her food, clothing, housing, and transportation for the rest of her life!

What the hell is the point?

Before he knew it, Zhou Yuwen had reached the ring expressway. He had originally planned to floor the accelerator and vent his anger.

But just then, a horn blared.

A light flashed-

Beep!

Everything blurred before Zhou Yuwen's eyes.

When he woke again, he heard the rustling sound of voices reciting beside him:

"I urge you not to treasure your gold-threaded robes,

I urge you to treasure the days of your youth.

When a flower can be plucked, pluck it without delay,

Don't wait until it's gone, and pluck an empty branch!"

What is this?

His vision gradually cleared, and Zhou Yuwen stared at his hands in disbelief.

Am I dreaming?

Zhou Yuwen was back in his high school classroom.

He was wearing a white summer uniform shirt. In front of him was a blackboard, with eight large red characters above it: "Study hard and make progress every day!"

It's so real!

The Chinese teacher was thirty years old, 156 centimeters tall, and so thin she looked like a second grader. She wore framed glasses and had a ponytail and bangs.

Though she wasn't tall, her gaze carried a murderous aura that cowed all the tall students in the class into silence.

She pushed up her glasses and looked suspiciously at the somewhat bewildered Zhou Yuwen.

"Zhou Yuwen, stand up and explain what this poem means."

Everyone turned their heads to look at Zhou Yuwen.

Zhou Yuwen was still as clueless as a monk scratching his head under a ten-foot hood.

He stood up.

Whew. He didn't know how to describe it, but his youthful body gave him a feeling he'd never experienced before.

He looked at the young, familiar faces.

Zhou Yuwen scratched his head.

He murmured, "When a flower can be plucked, pluck it without delay. Don't wait until it's gone, and pluck an empty branch."

"It means you should start dating while you're young! Otherwise you won't even be able to find a wife later!"

"Whoosh!"

Before he'd even finished speaking, everyone burst out laughing!

"Damn! Zhou Yuwen's awesome!"

"Badass!"