Up to No Good
After a short while, they arrived at the Vajra Hall and the beings there roared loudly:
"I've brought all the monks who were guarding the place, including one who saved our lives—the one we dreamt about."
Upon hearing this, the monk rushed outside, looking at Sun Wukong with delight, and said:
"Grandpa, you've finally arrived."
Sun Wukong looked at the monk with a puzzled expression, and the monk explained to Sun Wukong:
"Back then, I dreamt of Taibai Jinxing every day, and he told me that a hairy-faced monk would come from the Eastern Lands to save us. Today, you have finally arrived. We have been waiting for you for so long."
Sun Wukong was overjoyed upon hearing this.
"You don't need to bow. Get up quickly; the outcome will be clear tomorrow."
Upon hearing Sun Wukong's words, the monks immediately prepared a vegetarian meal for the four of them and cleaned their rooms for the night.
As evening approached, Sun Wukong became extremely anxious and couldn't sleep at all. He quietly got up, put on his clothes, and jumped into the air to observe. It turned out that the Three Purities Temple were performing a ritual there that night.
Sun Wukong then woke up Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujing and went to the Three Purities Temple, saying:
"Since all the Daoist priests are away tonight, let's come here and get something to eat."
Zhu Bajie, rubbing his sleepy eyes, immediately perked up after hearing Sun Wukong's words and quickly Sun Wukong:
"If you were going to bring us here to eat, why didn't you say so earlier? I almost fell asleep just now."
After hearing what Zhu Bajie said, Sun Wukong immediately decided not to explain anything to Zhu Bajie anymore, and then the group went to the Three Purities Hall.
When Zhu Bajie saw the offerings, he was immediately very hungry, so he picked up a fruit and stuffed it into his stomach. Seeing this, Sun Wukong quickly raised his Zhu Bajie Ruyi Jingu Bang staff) and struck Zhu Bajie, who quickly dodged.
"I haven't even tasted what that thing is like! You're going to hit me before I've even touched it."
Upon hearing this, Sun Wukong immediately said:
"I hit you not because you stole his tribute fruit, but because you didn't sit there properly to eat it."
Upon hearing Zhu Bajie, Pigsy immediately began to grumble inwardly.
"That damned Keeper of the Heavenly Horses, why does he have to be so particular about etiquette when it comes to eating?"
As if he had already anticipated what Zhu Bajie was thinking, Sun Wukong grabbed Zhu Bajie and made him look at the three statues.
It turns out that the three statues were none other than Celestial Venerable Yuanshi Dao Lord Lingbao and Taishang Laojun.
Zhu Bajie, already starving, clung tightly to the back and quickly climbed up, nudging the statue of Taishang Laojun off with his snout, muttering softly as he did so:
"Taishang Laojun, you've been sitting in this position for so long, it's time for me to take your place."
At that moment, Sun Wukong immediately said to Zhu Bajie:
"Wait, don't eat yet. If you reveal the secrets of heaven, things will get really messy. If you push all these statues to the ground now, and a Daoist priest comes here to sweep tomorrow and trips over them, then this whole thing will be over."
Zhu Bajie scratched his head and asked Sun Wukong in confusion:
"What should we do about this? There's simply nowhere to hide these statues."
Upon hearing this, Sun Wukong laughed like Zhu Bajie and said:
"When I arrived, I noticed a place here with Yin Qi atmosphere. It must be a place where grains are reborn. You should take him there."
Upon hearing this, Zhu Bajie jumped down, hoisted the three remaining Tang brothers onto his shoulders, opened the door, and burst into laughter.
"That damned Keeper of the Heavenly Horses is all talk and no action; he can even call a latrine the place of 'five grains' (a euphemism for a place of rest and reckoning)."
After saying this, Zhu Bajie threw the three statues into the toilet. A little while later, Zhu Bajie transformed into Taishang Laojun and sat there, eating all the food clean.
Just then, one of the young Daoist priests suddenly stood up and said:
"Oh no, I left that bell in the main hall and forgot to take it. If Master sees it tomorrow, he'll definitely scold me."
After the Daoist priest finished speaking, he went into the hall and heard breathing sounds. He was terrified and took the bell. He hurriedly walked out but suddenly tripped and fell to his death.
Zhu Bajie couldn't help but burst into laughter, and the little Daoist priest was so frightened that he ran to the side of the three old Daoist priests.
"Master, something terrible has happened! I forgot to bring my hand bell. I went to the main hall to look for it, but suddenly I heard someone laughing loudly. It almost scared me to death!"
Upon hearing what the young Daoist priest said, the three Daoist priests were instantly panicked and hurriedly went to the main hall.
Upon seeing this, Great Immortal Tiger Power was immediately filled with panic.
"There's no one here at all, how could they have eaten all the food we contributed?"
After hearing what Tiger Great Immortal Luli Great Immortal Tiger Power pondered for a long time, then immediately knelt down and said to the three statues:
"Senior brother, please don't doubt it. It's probably because we recited the scriptures and had the imperial court's name on our side that we alerted the Heavenly Emperor. It's likely that the Three Purities Ones have come to our side. We can now ask the Heavenly Emperor for some holy water and golden pills to help His Majesty Changsheng."
Upon hearing this, Great Immortal Tiger Power and Great Immortal Goat Power immediately knelt down and bowed to Sun Wukong and his group, saying:
"We hope that the three lords will bestow upon us some miraculous elixirs, so that we Changsheng."
Upon hearing this, Zhu Bajie felt very uneasy and said to Sun Wukong:
"I knew I shouldn't have come with you. Now we've stolen the food and can't run away, we can only listen to them praying here. What are we going to do?"
After thinking carefully for a long time, Sun Wukong slowly spoke:
"Don't rush us today. We just came from the Peach Banquet and didn't bring any Golden Elixir or Holy Water. We'll come back another day to bestow this favor."
Upon hearing this, the three Daoist priests bowed even more deeply.
Sha Wujing finally couldn't listen anymore and quickly said to Sun Wukong:
"Brother Monkey, they've started chanting again, and what they're saying is hurting my ears. You'd better think of something!"
After listening to this, Sun Wukong pondered for a long time before slowly speaking to the three Daoist priests:
"Since you've all so humbly sought my guidance, it would be our fault if we didn't offer you something. Now, go find some containers to hold water, and I'll give you some."
Upon hearing Sun Wukong's words, the three Daoist priests quickly took out their containers, vying to have Sun Wukong and his companions bestow some holy water upon them.