Recreating the crime scene

Throughout history, few officials have been impeached and dismissed for urinating.

When Emperor Gaozu was conquering the country, people didn't care about such things as excrement and urine.

Even today, such an incident would be considered a moral failing, not a serious crime.

The problem was that Zhang Xuezhou was the Grand Master of Ceremonies, and the other party was urinating in the imperial library, a place of great importance, which was disrespectful to the ancestors of the Great Han Dynasty.

What might be a mere moral impropriety to others could become a charge against the Grand Master of the Palace.

"How can someone who is not upright be a Grand Master of the Palace!"

After a passionate speech, Xu Chang glared angrily at Zhang Xuezhou, who was lying on the ground.

"Prime Minister Xu, please calm down," Zhuang Qingdi advised. "Why don't we put some medicine on your face to reduce the swelling?"

"My personal matter is minor, but the insult from Dongfang Shuo is a major one," Xu Chang said emphatically. "My bruised and swollen face can still be treated, but is there any room for compromise regarding Dongfang Shuo's disrespect?"

"That's right!"

Zhuang Qingdi lowered his head and responded with a soft "yes".

Xu Chang was usually a kind-hearted person who always followed the orders of Anle Palace. Whenever he did not go against Anle Palace's wishes, the other party would close his eyes and listen attentively in court, rarely showing such anger or outbursts.

The abnormality in Xu Chang must have a reason.

Even after being persuaded by Zhuang Qingdi, the other party couldn't stop criticizing, and the matter was clearly unstoppable.

Some matters in the imperial court can be discussed privately, but others cannot be discussed, lest the inside story be revealed and genuine cooperation be impossible.

Zhuang Qingdi kept his head down, fully aware that this undiscussed matter was being staged for others.

It could be the Empress Dowager, the Empress Dowager, or the emperor sitting on the dragon throne before you.

Zhang Xuezhou was a close advisor to the new emperor, but Zhuang Qingdi couldn't understand why he had won over Anle Palace again.

He lowered his head and pondered for a few seconds, finally determining that this was a performance intended for the emperor on the dragon throne.

The fact that Xu Chang had taken such action left Zhuang Qingdi with a bad feeling.

"I wonder how Prime Minister Xu intends to punish Dongfang Shuo?" Zhuang Qingdi asked in a low voice.

"Remove him from his post and reduce him to a commoner, then drag him out and beat him to death with sticks," Xu Chang said emphatically.

"This..."

As Zhuang Qingdi hesitated, he heard the new emperor, who was sitting on the dragon throne, cough as well, clearly extremely dissatisfied with Xu Chang's verdict.

"Prime Minister Xu, please put away your Tongtian Crown!"

As the new emperor coughed, Li Guang had no choice but to take a few more steps forward and politely address Xu Chang, gesturing for him to remove the Tongtian Crown Law Artifact that was pressing down on Zhang Xuezhou.

"I hope Prime Minister Xu won't put me in a difficult position!"

When Li Guang narrowed his eyes slightly and reached out to remove the crown, Xu Chang used a magic trick to remove Tongtian crown from Zhang Xuezhou's head.

"Xu Chang, you've placed the Tongtian of the Prime Minister on my head! You've disrespected court etiquette; you deserve to die!"

When Li Guang finally removed the Tongtian from Zhang Xuezhou's head, he heard Zhang Xuezhou raise his head and start cursing, demanding to impeach Xu Chang. Li Guang couldn't help but feel a headache coming on, thinking that the heavy crown on Zhang Xuezhou's head was well-deserved.

"You are a traitor, you deserve to die!" Xu Chang cursed.

"You assaulted a government official; you deserve to die!" Zhang Xuezhou shouted.

"You, a subordinate, bullied your superior and assaulted the Prime Minister; you deserve to die!" Xu Chang cursed.

"You hit me first, you deserve to die!" Zhang Xuezhou cursed.

"You piss first, you deserve to die!"

"You went there to pee too, you deserve to die!"

I didn't pee!

"You have!"

After a heated argument, Zhang Xuezhou and Xu Chang got into a shouting match, which prompted Xu Chang to find witnesses to prove his innocence. For a time, the court was in chaos, resembling a marketplace.

"Dog urine is dog urine, and human urine is human urine. Urine is different from human urine. We can find out whether it is Lord Dongfang's urine or Prime Minister Xu's urine," Zhuang Qingdi said.

"You think you can just identify it like that? Who can tell the difference between urine in the soil?" Zhang Xuezhou shouted. "Who has that kind of impartial authority? And who can trust anyone else's judgment!"

Whether you believe it or not is not up to you, nor to Prime Minister Xu, nor to me!

Zhuang Qingdi bowed slightly to the new emperor on the dragon throne.

As a master of torture and forced confessions, Zhuang Qingdi, after listening to Zhang Xuezhou's sharp-tongued rebuttal, knew without going to Tianlu Qilin Pavilion that Zhang Xuezhou was the one who did it, and that Xu Chang had caught Zhang Xuezhou red-handed.

"Since Imperial Censor Zhuang is skilled at discernment, then let him go and make his judgment!"

Upon seeing Zhuang Qingdi bow, the new emperor nodded, indicating that Zhuang Qingdi could make his own arrangements.

"Untie me!"

Zhang Xuezhou cried out on the ground, but this time Li Guang ignored Zhang Xuezhou, and Xu Chang did not loosen the golden rope.

The crowd let Zhang Xuezhou shout from the ground.

Xu Chang and Zhuang Qingdi were the leaders of the Empress Dowager's faction. Xu Chang had already entered the fray, and once Zhuang Qingdi nodded in agreement, everyone had a direction.

How things will unfold depends entirely on the outcome of Zhuang Qingdi's investigation.

"How about it?"

Zhuang Qingdi returned in less than fifteen minutes.

When Zhuang Qingdi returned to the court, Xu Chang immediately raised an eager inquiry.

No rush!

Zhuang Qingdi looked solemn. He glanced at Zhang Xuezhou lying down, lifted Zhang Xuezhou's lower body clothes and sniffed them, then looked at Xu Chang.

"Do I have to do that too?" Xu Chang asked.

"For the sake of fairness, we hope Prime Minister Xu will investigate this matter!"

Zhuang Qingdi's face was solemn.

When Xu Chang lifted his official robe, he couldn't help but lean closer and sniff it.

While Zhang Xuezhou's body was clean and odorless, Xu Chang's body had a persistent, unpleasant odor, especially in areas with a strong, unpleasant smell.

Zhuang Qingdi forced himself to suppress the nausea, touched the area with his fingers, and then stood up.

"Imperial Censor Zhuang?"

"Your Majesty, there are indeed traces of urine outside the Tianlu Qilin Pavilion, but this urine did not belong to Prime Minister Xu!"

Zhuang Qingdi pursed his lips and bowed in response to the new emperor.

"I knew it! This Dongfang Shuo is utterly rebellious!" Xu Chang slammed his cane on the ground and said, "An official like him should be dismissed and then beaten to death with sticks!"

"But I cannot completely prove that this urine was left by the Grand Physician Dongfang Shuo," Zhuang Qingdi said. "To seek complete verification, Dongfang Shuo needs to urinate again!"

"I won't pee!" Zhang Xuezhou shouted.

"Go pee at Qilin Pavilion again and you'll know the result!"

Zhuang Qingdi frowned.

Given Zhang Xuezhou's performance over the past two years, there's no need to wait until now to get rid of Zhang Xuezhou.

Xu Chang was determined to destroy Zhang Xuezhou, but Zhuang Qingdi, realizing things were not so simple, did not completely agree.

The Censor-in-Chief, who was in charge of impeaching officials, had not yet set a tone, so no one dared to speak rashly.

"If I pee again, it will be irrefutable evidence, and I don't know what kind of rebellion Prime Minister Xu will throw at me. I would never do such a thing!" Zhang Xuezhou shouted.

"I hope Your Majesty will grant me permission," Zhuang Qingdi bowed and asked.

"This kind of thing... this kind of thing is a bit inappropriate, but so be it, I grant your request!"

In the imperial court, the new emperor's expression also changed.

On the issue of how to deal with Zhang Xuezhou, Xu Chang and Zhuang Qingdi were clearly not a united front, which made the new emperor ponder.

"To commit treason once, to commit treason twice..."

Xu Chang, leaning on his cane, cursed repeatedly.

He watched as Zhang Xuezhou was being led away, and couldn't help but follow.

The trial was originally to be held in the main hall of the Weiyang Palace, but in the end, everyone was led out to Tianlu Qilin Pavilion.

"Lord Dongfang, go ahead and urinate!"

There was no particular smell outside the Tianlu Qilin Pavilion.

If Zhuang Qingdi hadn't pointed it out, and Xu Chang hadn't corrected it, the officials would have had a hard time seeing that the slightly damp ground had been urinated on.

Once again instructed by Zhuang Qingdi to recreate the crime scene, many officials couldn't help but look at each other in bewilderment, while others stared intently at Zhang Xuezhou.

"You're tied up too tightly, I can't pee!"

"We implore Lord Xu to release the bonds!"

Zhang Xuezhou muttered something under his breath, while Zhuang Qingdi politely discussed it with Xu Chang.

A few seconds later, the golden rope binding Zhang Xuezhou's body, which resembled a python's belt, contracted and transformed back into the waistband that Xu Chang used to restrain.

"I smelled it; this is irrefutable evidence of your urine. Now that I've ordered you to urinate here, the charges against you have been reduced by at least half. What are you afraid of!"

Seeing that Zhang Xuezhou was still dawdling and refusing to cooperate, Zhuang Qingdi moved his lips and whispered a reminder in Zhang Xuezhou's ear.

He shoved Zhang Xuezhou, only to see Zhang Xuezhou pull down his pants and start rustling around.