Sometimes I Really Want to Crack Open James's Skull

Professor Slughorn believed I wouldn't do such a thing. He thought I'd simply dropped them by accident. Luckily, the potions hadn't been particularly valuable to begin with. He told me to be more careful in the future, and that was the end of it.

Snape made no attempt to hide the fact that he'd smashed every potion I had sorted. Later, when I brought more potions to continue my research, he brushed past me and casually remarked, "Make sure you don't drop them all this time."

Unless I was making long-term plans, I generally refused to swallow an insult without retaliation.

Besides, I'd already given up trying. As long as I stayed down, nothing could defeat me again!

So that evening, Snape and I both got detention for fighting again.

James was delighted when he heard about it. The moment I entered the common room, he put an arm around my shoulders.

"I knew I was right about you!" He looked excited. "You really are on our side."

"Snape and I have an actual conflict. You just take pleasure in picking on him, all right?" I was thoroughly unimpressed. "Snape's hardly done anything to offend you."

James's eyes widened at that, and he said loudly, "He's a Slytherin. That's enough to offend me!"

I decided not to discuss the issue with James while he was still so deep in his house-prejudice phase.

Although my conflict with Snape had escalated from insults to physical fights, once Lily returned to school, we tacitly agreed to act just as "friendly" as before in front of her. Lily wouldn't want two of her friends to be at each other's throats. James and his lot already gave her enough trouble, and there was no need for me to add to it.

But Lily still found out that Snape and I had lost points for fighting. In the library, she frowned and asked me, "I heard from some other students that you and Severus got detention for fighting. Is that true?"

[Lily & Snape romance event triggered. Normal options temporarily hidden]

[Lily asked about my dispute with Snape...]

[1. Cry to Lily about how I've been wronged]

[2. "Snape and I get along wonderfully"]

I really wished the system would realize that the same words could feel completely different depending on whether the people involved got along or not.

"Nothing of the sort." I laughed. "Snape and I get along wonderfully. How could that have happened? I actually had a conflict with Mulciber and his lot, and Snape got dragged into it." With that, I slapped Snape on the shoulder, making him flinch. "Isn't that right, Snape?"

[Snape's affection -1]

I admitted that slap had been a little hard.

Meeting Lily's deeply skeptical gaze, Snape forced out the most twisted smile of the century. If I took a picture of that smile and showed it to him after he became a professor, he might immediately take me down with him. "Merlin had a conflict with some Slytherin students. I happened to be there too."

"That's good, then." Since even Snape said so, and the two of us seemed to be getting along quite happily now, Lily muttered that and chose to believe us. "But you really shouldn't spend time with those people anymore, Severus. They pick on other students every day, just like Potter and his lot. Sooner or later, they'll get into serious trouble."

Snape didn't reply. Their conversations on this subject always ended badly anyway, and Lily didn't expect him to make any concessions this time. She sighed and let the matter drop for now.

As the saying went, distance made things look more beautiful. I ran into that group of Slytherins often, so naturally I knew how badly they bullied other students. Lily, however, rarely saw them, but she did see James and Sirius bullying students every day.

"Well, well, isn't this Slytherin's Snivellus?"

After Herbology, we ran into the Slytherin students, who had just finished class too. Snape was alone today, and they blocked his path in the corridor.

My head started aching almost as soon as I saw Snape. Lily had something to do and hadn't come with me, so James would surely be even less restrained.

"Heard you're a Potions genius?" James and Sirius surrounded Snape just like in those classic school-bullying scenes in every American TV show-speaking of which, wasn't this Britain? Truly a fitting conjugate father-son pair. Remus and I hurried after them, trying to stop them, but before we reached them, James pulled a Mandrake out of somewhere and threw it at Snape. "A Potions genius must surely know how to deal with a Mandrake, right?"

I was wondering how James had managed to sneak out a potted Mandrake when I saw it suddenly begin to grow wildly the moment it landed in Snape's hands. The tendrils that sprouted from it instantly surrounded him.

"Bang!"

Snape fell to the floor. After winding around his body, the tendrils seemed to keep tightening, and his desperate struggles did nothing. More and more students gathered to watch. An unnatural flush spread across his face, and he struggled more violently, but the tendrils had bound all four of his limbs. As though wrapped in a cocoon, he crawled helplessly on the floor.

"He looks just like a fat caterpillar," Sirius said scornfully. "The color does suit Slytherin, though."

"More like a snake too fat to move. Hahaha, how ridiculous!"

James and Sirius laughed while Remus went forward to check on Snape, looking worried. Then he frowned deeply. "His face is turning blue!"

I'd frozen the moment I saw the Mandrake growing wildly, and only came to my senses at Remus's words. I rushed forward and tried to pull the tendrils off Snape, but whenever I pulled them away, they wound around him again. In the end, I could only pull the ones around his neck off first, to keep him from actually being strangled to death.

"I don't... need your help!" Even at a time like this, Snape still gave me a hostile look. "Aren't you on their side?"

"You don't need to save something like him," James said, deeply displeased by what I was doing. "He needs to be taught a lesson before he'll keep quiet for a few days."

I wanted nothing more than to wrap the tendrils I'd pulled off around his brain.

Just as I started rolling up my sleeves, the system options popped up.

[James & Snape romance event triggered. Normal options temporarily hidden]

[1. Demand that James free Snape]

[2. "Darling, I'm only worried you'll end up in Azkaban for murder. Then we'd have to live apart."]

Even at a critical moment like this, I still wanted to ask what the hell option two was...

"James!" I shouted his name and turned to look at him sternly. "Let him go!"

James paused for a long moment. The smile faded from his face, and his gaze dimmed as he looked at me.

[James's affection -20]

[Sirius's affection -10]

"Have you spent so much time with those Slytherins that there's something wrong with your head too? Or do you really..." Sirius's expression changed too. He frowned, his gaze shifting back and forth between James and me. But James didn't look at him; he just stared at me.

"You don't like him either." This seemed to be the first time I'd seen such a calm, gloomy expression on his face since the school year began. He gripped his wand tightly, his face tense. "Why?"

"Let him go!" I repeated.

The corridor fell quiet. Even the students watching stopped talking. In the oppressive silence, James walked over to Snape, an expression of disgust on his face.

"Bang!"

Without using a spell, he stomped on the pot holding the Mandrake and smashed it. As the pot broke, the tendrils wrapped around Snape shrank rapidly, until the plant became an herb much smaller than an ordinary Mandrake.

"You really have some influence, Snape." With that, he turned and left.

"You always know how to spoil the mood."

Sirius glared at me and left too.

"You..."

Once he was free, Snape looked at me in surprise. He opened his mouth, then fell silent. I checked his neck. Luckily, because I'd pulled the tendrils away in time, there was only a very faint mark, and he should be fine.

"Remus, please take him to the Hospital Wing. I still need to talk to James." I stood up and hurried after James.

"James!"

James was practically speed-walking, and even Sirius could barely keep up with him. In no time, he'd left the corridor and reached the stairs. The staircases here were always moving, so if he went up, I figured it would be hard to find him again. With that in mind, I grabbed his hand and brought him to a stop.

"What are you still doing here?" Sirius asked, displeased.

"Don't say anything yet." I made a time-out gesture at Sirius.

Sirius deducted one affection point from me, and then he actually fell silent.

"What, aren't you going to keep that..."

"I thought you'd realized what you did wrong!"

James looked as though he'd been about to confront me, but I spoke before he could. Before he could react, I continued in one breath.

"You actually used a Mandrake for a prank, and that kind of prank at that! You haven't learned your lesson at all. Aren't you afraid another accident like last time will happen? If you accidentally touched that thing alone in your room, we'd probably be attending your funeral by the time we found you!"

My torrent of words clearly left James stunned. He stared at me for a long while, blinked, then blinked again.

"So it wasn't because..."

"Was that the only one?" I asked.

His eyes began to dart away.

"Don't tell me you were planning to keep improving that thing?" He was driving me up the wall. I'd thought at least his apology last time had been sincere, but he hadn't learned a thing! Remus practically had PTSD from Mandrakes, yet James, who'd nearly died, could still use one as a toy! He'd even turned it into something dangerous that grew the moment it touched someone, leaving them unable to draw their wand. Wasn't he afraid he'd touch it by accident and get himself killed?

"I only spent a few days researching it, really." James quickly shook his head. For some reason, his expression brightened again. "Besides, I was using a joke to deal with the pain..."

"James Potter!"

"I won't do it again." He finally relented. "I'll throw them all away when we get back."

"You'd better keep your word." I was skeptical. "How about you go get them now? I want to watch you smash them all."

"All right, all right, you win." He ran a hand through his hair, his usual smile returning. "Honestly, Sirius and I worked so hard on them for ages."

"How nice of you to remember me." Sirius folded his arms. "Are you two planning to go back to the common room together like that?"

I was thoroughly confused. I looked down and only then realized that I'd grabbed James's hand in my haste and still hadn't let go.

"Sorry, sorry, I was in too much of a hurry." I let go. "There are so many staircases here, after all."

"I was really hurt just now." James put on a wounded expression. "I thought you were going to abandon me."

"What do you mean, abandon you...?" I was speechless. "Besides, you shouldn't have done that. You nearly strangled Snape. Do you want to end up in Azkaban in your first year?"

The three of us stepped onto the stairs together.

"Speaking of which, how many did you make?"

"Three, I think."

"And how many did you ruin?"

"...Seven."

"You took them all from Herbology?!"

"..."

"Looks like you'll have to visit Professor Sprout's office later too."

[Author's note]

★Side quest reminder★

Congratulations on unlocking the James romance main-route achievement-[Caring]

[Sirius's darkening meter unlocked. Current darkening level: 8%]