Twice in a Row [Revised Version]

I never expected that, after losing points in my very first class, I would also achieve the feat of missing a class on my first day.

"Get plenty of rest. I'll lend you my Charms Class notes later."

"Sirius, I'll help you catch up tonight!" James waved to Sirius, then leaned toward Lily with a radiant smile. "Do you know where the Charms Class classroom is? I can take you there."

Naturally, Lily turned him down flat.

They were making such a racket at the door that Madam Pomfrey came out and drove every last one of them away, leaving me alone—or rather, leaving Sirius and me staring at each other in the empty Hospital Wing.

Professor McGonagall had rescued us at the end of Transfiguration. I hadn't felt it while I was lying on the floor, but as soon as I got to my feet and steadied myself, I toppled onto Sirius again. I was sure he thought I was getting back at him when I knocked him to the floor, but thankfully, Professor McGonagall examined my lower leg.

"It's broken," she said. "And your lower leg is broken too, Mr Black."

So we were both sent to the Hospital Wing.

After we took some medicine, Madam Pomfrey said we would recover soon, but insisted we rest a little longer before leaving. She also warned Sirius that if he bullied another classmate, he would be given detention. I sat on the bed with nothing to do, so I turned to look at Sirius in the next bed. The moment I looked over, he turned his head away, refusing to meet my eyes.

"I'm only here because of you!" I protested. "And yet the esteemed young Master Black hasn't said a thing about it."

That title made him whip his head around. I suspected that if he hadn't been struggling to move, he wouldn't have minded getting up and beating me.

"Who do you think made me stand up?" He folded his arms, his face full of arrogance. "You Gryffindor freak, you should've been sorted into the same place as that filthy Snivellus."

"Oh, that's a good look." I clapped. "You've got that lofty Black family air down perfectly. Just what I'd expect from young Master Black!"

[Sirius affection -1]

Excellent. His expression grew even nastier.

"How can there be a Gryffindor like you?" Having failed to get the better of me verbally, he leaned back against his pillow, looking weary. "Didn't even the Sorting Hat see your true nature?"

[Sirius romance event triggered. Normal options temporarily hidden]

[Sirius is mocking me...]

[1. Confess to Sirius]

[2. Apologize]

[3. Mock him back]

Why was there an option to apologize? Would anyone actually choose to apologize in this situation?

"What do you mean, a Gryffindor like me?" After choosing [Mock him back], I resolutely clambered upright despite my injury. "Young Master Black, you're just prejudiced against me."

"Actually, I understand. You think I'm a lot like someone from the Black family, and whenever you see me, I remind you of that place you hate. That's why you hate me."

Sirius's expression froze, and for the first time, anger flickered in the gray eyes fixed on me.

[Sirius affection -5]

I had thoroughly angered him, but I lay back down in a cheerful mood. I'd only made a casual guess, but judging by his reaction, I'd actually been right.

"That has nothing to do with it."

My lying down made him sit up. His fall must have been much worse than mine, or the knuckles of the hand gripping the headboard wouldn't have turned white. His hanging fringe obscured his face, making his expression look even darker as he gazed at me.

"I hate you because you deceived James. A twisted freak like you belongs in Slytherin, not Gryffindor."

I turned my face toward him, and under his gaze, a storm gathering in it, I gave him the nastiest smile I could imagine.

"Too bad. No matter how rebellious you are, you can't tear yourself away from the Black family, can you?" I blinked at him. "The Sorting Hat stayed on your head for so long because it kept telling you how very Slytherin you were, right? But you refused to accept it, so you kept asking it to send you to Gryffindor. You spent all that time, only to find out in the end that you were still a Black. How you must have felt at that moment..."

"Bang!"

I didn't get to finish. Sirius clamped one hand over my mouth and the other around my neck, then shoved me hard to the floor. If the blanket hadn't been beneath me, that would have given me a concussion for sure.

"What are you doing?"

Madam Pomfrey came at the sound, and her voice immediately rose an octave when she saw us. Sirius ignored her completely. His hand tightened inch by inch around my neck, his gray eyes almost burning with the force of his emotions. Perhaps he wanted to catch some sign of panic on my face, but I just found his behavior amusing and couldn't help laughing.

"Mr Black, let go at once!"

Once Madam Pomfrey saw what was happening, she rushed over. That wasn't good. If she stopped him, wouldn't I lose my chance to hit back? Before she reached us, I grabbed Sirius's wrist. He seemed to flinch, but I paid it no mind and seized his arm, bending it sharply downward-

With a grating crack of bone, he immediately got up in pain. Clutching his injured arm, he glared at me furiously. I pointed at my eyes and praised him with a smile. "You have beautiful eyes, Mr Black. Just what I'd expect from the Black family's eldest son."

[Sirius affection -10]

His gray pupils contracted in an instant. Seeing him like that, I couldn't help laughing aloud, which made him even more irritated. "What on earth are you-"

"Your leg injury has gotten worse, Mr Black." Madam Pomfrey's tone was rather stern, especially when she saw me try to get up, only to fall back. "And yours too, Miss Merlin."

"Neither of you can attend Flying Class this afternoon. And Mr Black, I'm afraid I'll have to tell Professor McGonagall exactly what you just did."

This time, Madam Pomfrey didn't dare put us in neighboring beds. Even after moving me as far away from Sirius as possible, she still wasn't reassured. Seeing that she was already considering putting a spell on him, I hurriedly spoke up. "I'm sorry, Madam Pomfrey. I also said some things I shouldn't have just now." I scratched my head. "I won't talk to him this time. I promise nothing like that will happen again."

Madam Pomfrey hesitated, then shook her head helplessly. She turned to Sirius and cast a spell to set his broken arm again.

"Call me if you need anything." She gave Sirius a pointed look as she said it, then turned and left.

After Madam Pomfrey left, a silence even more suffocating than before fell over the Hospital Wing. I looked at Sirius, who was radiating gloom, and he happened to raise his head. The moment our eyes met, I saw flames of anger ignite in his.

He really was a child. He couldn't hide his feelings at all. I folded my arms and blinked at him, finding it even funnier when I saw how furious he was.

"Didn't I just see through you? Is that enough to make you this angry and embarrassed?"

[Sirius affection -10]

He shot me a vicious glare, then lay down, unwilling to have anything more to do with me.

What a moody fellow, I thought. There were times in the past when he was quite nice to me as Merlin, weren't there?

★[Fragment of Merlin's story]★

Merlin often felt there was something wrong with her emotions. The look Madam Pomfrey gave her before leaving seemed to ask why she wasn't angry. Yes, why wasn't she angry?

Sometimes she remembered what Sirius had been like in the past. At Hogwarts, he had always been full of spirit. Of course, when he was alone, Sirius was always cold and arrogant, more like a Black than his younger brother Regulus. But when he was with James and the others, his face was always bright with a smile.

Merlin still remembered how, during her first loop, she had been walking along a corridor when she felt a gust of wind rush overhead, followed by a loud commotion and laughter. She had instinctively looked up to see Sirius and James flying on broomsticks through the maze of staircases, while Remus held his head, looking as though he couldn't bear to watch.

She saw that every one of them was laughing.

It was the first time she had seen them so full of life.

When "Harry Potter" was just a book, Merlin, as a reader, had merely regretted how their stories ended. But standing in Hogwarts castle at that moment, looking up at those boys as they acted so freely and boldly, she instinctively remembered their endings.

Their futures were like nooses around the necks of condemned prisoners, tightening with each passing moment.

I want to change their endings.

That was the first time Merlin had such a thought.

As a transmigrator, she inevitably had a sense of superiority. At first she hadn't noticed it, until Lily sometimes looked at her worriedly and asked, "Isn't there anything you want to tell me?" She would always shake her head instinctively.

What is there to say? As long as what I'm doing is good for everyone, isn't that enough? I'm saving them!

Besides, she couldn't say anything in the first place. Whenever she tried to speak of the future, her voice was cut off. In time, she no longer wanted to talk about anything.

One day she would leave this place, so there was no need to form any deep bonds with these people.

But living within the story, she inevitably developed some of the most basic feelings.

One night, after she had been captured while acting under her original identity, thrown into Azkaban, and tortured to the point of collapse, Sirius, who was also being tortured, turned into a black dog and came up to her. He took her hand with his paw and pressed it against his wildly unkempt head. She could no longer feel joy and only stared numbly at everything before her.

"You'll get out of here, Merlin," Sirius said every day. "One day, you'll get out."

She had witnessed many deaths, other people's and her own. Perhaps emotions had a limit too. After that limit was breached, she began to act mechanically, with only one thought remaining.

I want to protect them.

Merlin remembered the third loop, when the plot had inexorably led Lily and James to their deaths. Rain poured down as she knelt on the ground, covered in blood, gripping their hands tightly.

"Get... out of here..."

She saw a great deal of blood well from the corners of Lily's pale, lifeless lips.

"Run..."

I want to protect them.

She remembered her fifth life, when Lily, who had finally lived to see 1998, was ambushed, and Snape rushed forward without regard for himself to take that Avada Kedavra for her.

Lily, broken down, wept bitterly as she held the blood-soaked Harry. Merlin stood behind her, the wind and snow filling the sky howling through her heart, leaving her colder than the depths of winter.

I want to protect them.

She fell from a tall building, and the only thing she remembered before dying was someone's eyes; she set off explosives throughout the castle during a meeting, trying to take Voldemort down with her; she pushed Regulus out of a window, and an overwhelming flood of green light swallowed her body whole; she had Snape kill her.

Perhaps she had died too many times. Both pain and emotion had gradually grown numb. Blood clouded her vision, and her entire world sank into scarlet.

No matter what, it would not end. Whatever she did, things always slid toward the worst possible outcome. No matter how she died, when she opened her eyes again, she always saw the sky of the wizarding world.

Can I only go back by changing the ending and saving everyone?

I can only go back by changing the ending and saving everyone.

That thought gradually seeped into her mind, until it became an absolute principle.

"Can't you just let me die? Let me die!"

Snape, whom she had forcibly saved, screamed frantically in near despair. "I caused her death! I shouldn't still be alive!"

"As long as one more person lives, it'll be different from the original plot." She held Snape firmly in place, her gaze terrifyingly dark.

"I'm going to save you. Whether you want me to or not."

As long as she changed the ending, as long as she could go home, that was enough.

What did it matter to her what anyone else thought?

So she didn't want to say or ask anything. All she needed to do was protect them.

I'll protect you.

I'll protect you.

I'll protect you.

Eventually, her thoughts dissolved into a scarlet haze. She could no longer distinguish right from wrong, and even everyone's faces had become blurred. All she knew was to raise her wand at anyone who stood in her way.

"Avada Kedavra."

─────

[Author's note]

★Tips★

When pursuing Sirius, keep in mind that he doesn't actually hate Dark Magic or dark wizards. He simply opposes everything the Black family approves of. If you continue to lose affection after Sirius achieves [Love at first sight], it means he has realized that he actually agrees with those ideas, but cannot accept that he is also a Black, so his affection will continue to decrease because of it.

[Fragments of Merlin's story] involve the main plot and can only be unlocked while progressing through it. For now, there are no other ways to collect them.