Chapter 35
Mel? Even if Mel lost his mind and suddenly blew up the whole world, he couldn't possibly hurt me!
Good gods... I'm not a devout believer, but is it too late to start calling on the God of Light or the Lord of Darkness? If not, the God of Pastures and Fields, the Lady of Night, or the God of Life and Nature would do. If nothing else works, I can even settle for the God of Death and Slaughter. Any good god will do. Please bless me and make Reynold put me back in my chair and leave quietly, all right? I really don't want to hear any more of Reynold's colorful flights of imagination. I'm really, really dizzy, and I'm afraid I'll throw up in his face!
"Let go..." I tried hard to form an Air Shield and push him away, but... damn it. Before the spell exploded and left Reynold a gooier mess than that bucket of Balog Highlands caterpillar eggs, I decisively stopped. A spell that usually came so easily wasn't working properly now. This movie was terrifying, even more terrifying than the Absolute Magic-Sealing Array!
"Ciprins! Stop fooling around! Be good and come home with me. Just look at the state you're in. I need to check whether you're hurt. No more messing around!" Reynold yelled at me.
Help-Mel, help!
Dizzy... I'm dizzy!
At the thought, the arms wrapped around me suddenly loosened, and I immediately fell backward. But I didn't hit the ground. I fell into a familiar shadow, and Mel immediately lifted me out of its embrace. Thank goodness, Mel, you came back just in time!
I leaned against Mel's shoulder, too dizzy to speak. I'd almost recovered, but after Reynold shook me around, I felt as though I was about to fall apart again. But when I turned to look at Mel, I realized he was glaring furiously at the ground. Hmm... I looked down and saw Reynold's clothes lying there, with a wriggling lump inside. A moment later...
Baa~~~~~~~~
A white sheep wearing underpants crawled out!
Wow...
"Hahahahaha..." I couldn't help collapsing against Mel's shoulder in laughter. Oh heavens, a sheep was cute, but a sheep wearing underpants—and Reynold liked leopard-print underpants—was a little...
"Uh..." Mel's face turned red, and his imposing air wilted. He even gave me an aggrieved look. "I'm really dizzy too, so my Transformation Spell went wrong. If I were in my usual condition, how could I possibly turn just his body into a sheep without transforming his clothes too?"
I laughed until I couldn't catch my breath. Seeing that, Mel's shadow started stamping its feet again, so I had to reassure him at once and give him a thumbs-up. The red in Mel's face didn't fade; instead, it grew even brighter. I couldn't resist touching his cheek. Hmm... it was so hot. It looked like Mel felt just as awful. We needed to find somewhere to sit and get some fresh air, then have something cold to drink, or we'd end up supporting each other while we threw up again.
Reynold the sheep stood obediently on the ground, bleating in a sweet little voice. His wool was white and soft, and he looked round and plump, like a giant cushion. I was sure he'd feel wonderful to touch.
But I held myself back and didn't reach out to pet him. A mage's Transformation Spell was Arcane Magic Transformation, completely different from a druid's Natural Transformation. Our Arcane Magic Transformation was only skin-deep. In other words, it merely changed the outward form without altering the fundamental essence. So Reynold was still Reynold; he just looked like a sheep. Druids were different. If a druid turned himself into an animal, he needed exceptionally strong willpower to keep himself from being influenced by that animal's habits. Some druids whose minds weren't strong enough were quite likely to forget they were human.
Fortunately, Arcane Magic Transformation had no such problem. Reynold the sheep's mind and intelligence were no different from when he was the council speaker in human form.
But...
"Oh no." I suddenly realized something was wrong, because...
"Wow—the archmage Mephistopheles?"
"Oh my god, Mephistopheles came to see a movie! I saw the shadow move! What amazing magic!"
"Which one? There are two people over there wearing the same clothes."
"Are you stupid? Don't you know what His Excellency Mephistopheles looks like? The one without sunglasses obviously doesn't have His Excellency Mephistopheles's face!"
I pressed a hand to my forehead.
"Wow, who did the archmage turn into a sheep?"
"What a cute sheep! I wonder if the archmage will let us pet him?"
"Um... I think that's Lord Reynold, the speaker of the Magic Council..."
An uproar broke out around us, but Mel paid no attention. Perhaps he was too dizzy to notice what was happening around him at all. Or perhaps he simply didn't care. After all, we mages had been famous for our willfulness since ancient times. Without a bit of pride, how could anyone be a mighty mage? In any case, casting a Transformation Spell in his condition required extra concentration. He was putting all his effort into maintaining the sheep's form. Reynold was a lousy mage, but he was still a mage, and even the worst mage had higher magic resistance than knights and warriors.
Mel looked down at the particularly vacant-looking sheep, pointed at him, and said loudly, "You listen to me. If I ever catch you bothering my Xipei... Ciprins again, I won't just turn you into a sheep. I'll turn you into... into..."
He frowned and looked at me. "Would turning him into a toad be a bit disgusting?"
Yes, and ever since the wicked witches of the north had taken to turning the men they tricked into bed into toads, we mages had strictly restrained ourselves and never turned our enemies into toads. That would make it hard to tell us mages apart from those northern witches who relied on their bloodlines and did nothing but gossip.
"An alpaca," I answered. "Turn him into an alpaca."
"Mm." Mel nodded, then said aggressively, "Next time, I'll turn you into an alpaca!"
Pfft—the Transformation Spell ran out, and Reynold fell onto his backside, naked except for his underpants, his face blank. If I had to describe it, his expression was probably much like Moli's had been earlier-
His face twisted, with nothing left to live for.
...But his eyes were wide and his mouth hung open again. That expression still made him look so much like a cute alpaca.
His gaze kept wandering back and forth between Mel and me, from our faces to our hairstyles, and then to our clothes... Hmm, Reynold looked even more frightened. His expression now was as though he'd seen something unbelievable, like a death knight leading a huge horde of ghouls to attend a service at the Temple of Light. He was numb with shock.
I promptly covered him with a layer of black mist to keep a promising young council speaker from being arrested by Lusien and thrown in prison on suspicion of streaking in public. Though if Lusien did come, I could still testify for Reynold: he hadn't streaked on purpose; Mel's spell had malfunctioned.
Sigh... Going to the movies is exhausting.
A thought suddenly occurred to me. "Mel, what do you think about us keeping a sheep?"
Chapter 35
Mel's eyes lit up. When I mentioned a sheep, he instantly brightened as though he'd discovered a new truth. "Right! Why didn't I think of that? Sheep are fluffy too, and they're very trendy. Anna said cats were old-fashioned, but if we keep a sheep, she won't have anything to say about that, will she?"
"Hmm, is there a pet shop nearby that sells sheep?"
I looked up, only to find a huge crowd gathered around us, standing on tiptoe, chattering excitedly and pointing. But probably because they were intimidated by the dark mage's aura—or perhaps because the media often warned people to guard against fire, theft, and dark mages, so no one rushed over to ask Mel for an autograph or anything; everyone was very restrained-there was a large empty space around us, with Mel and me at the center. The cinema's guards were watching from not far away, though they couldn't hide the smiles on their faces.
Ah...
Fortunately, there didn't seem to be any reporters.
Still, to stop anyone from secretly taking pictures, I immediately cast a Disillusionment Charm on Mel and myself. This spell was originally meant to let the enchanted person's appearance change at any time so they wouldn't be recognized, but after Moli secretly photographed me changing clothes for the twenty-seventh time, I developed a special variant that worked against electronic camera lenses... While researching it, I broke the third smart computer Moli had bought me. So I really didn't break the computer on purpose. I was only trying to analyze its camera.