The Sterility Decoction

Yaohua Hall.

"Your Highness, Noble Consort Gao has come to see you."

"Let her in."

"Yes."

Gao Miling entered the inner chamber in blue-and-white porcelain-patterned palace robes. Catching sight of Di Qingyu reading on a soft couch, she noticed that her face was paler than before and frowned. "How are you feeling? Are you any better?"

A palace maid helped her forward to sit on the other side of the couch. Di Qingyu put down the ancient military treatise in her hands.

"I'm fine. I only coughed up blood because I was anxious. The imperial physician said I just need to rest and recuperate, and mustn't get angry again."

Di Qingyu had no intention of telling Gao Miling the truth. One less problem was better than one more; knowing too much would only be bad for her.

"I know you care for the common people, but you need to look after yourself too." Gao Miling was like an elder sister to Di Qingyu. Though worried about what she had done, she did not try to stop her, only unable to resist fussing over her.

"I went to Longhua Temple to worship Buddha yesterday and prayed for a peace talisman for you. Wear it on you so it can ward off misfortune and drive away demons, and keep you safe."

As she spoke, Gao Miling took an exquisite pouch from her waist and handed it to Di Qingyu to look at.

"I had an eminent monk at Longhua Temple bless it. Even touching it makes me feel wonderfully at ease in body and mind."

Di Qingyu reached out and accepted it. She lowered her head and rubbed it between her fingers. "Mm, it does feel a little different."

She looked up, raised her brows, and smiled brightly. "Thank you."

Gao Miling was immediately displeased and shot her a glare.

"Do we still need to thank each other?"

Di Qingyu chuckled. "All right, all right, no thanks, then. If there's anything you want, you can tell me too."

"Hmph. I'm Noble Consort Gao now, His Majesty's favored consort. What could I want that I don't have?" Gao Miling tilted her chin up slightly.

Di Qingyu recalled the message Shao Chi had just sent her, crying poverty. She looked up at the person showing off so smugly before her, a teasing look on her face.

"So Noble Consort Gao is rolling in riches now?"

"Of course. The gold, silver, and jewels in my storeroom are nearly overflowing."

"That must be so much work for you. How about I help?"

"...How?" Something was off.

Di Qingyu's eyes curved into crescents. "You can leave your gold, silver, and jewels with me. I'll keep them safe for you, and I can even pay you interest. One month... one tael."

"..."

Gao Miling narrowed her eyes, an odd expression on her face.

The two fell silent, looking at each other. The next moment-

"Di Qingyu, you've gone mad with greed!" Gao Miling's voice rang out. "What about all the money you usually fleece from people? Did you spend it keeping a pretty boy?"

Otherwise, she simply could not understand how Di Qingyu could be short of money! She was stingy as could be, fleeced people without mercy, rotated through a few sets of dresses, and never even wore jewelry!

Di Qingyu thought about it expressionlessly. "..."

She was supporting people, but they were not pretty boys. They were a whole pack of gold-guzzling rats, beggars and secret guards among them, crying poverty to her every day.

"Ahem, my health isn't good, and the medicinal ingredients I need every day are all rare, top-grade ones, so I've been spending money like water. Otherwise, do you think I wouldn't want to wear gold and silver?" This was half true and half false. The medicine she drank every day was indeed all top-grade, but the emperor and the others had given her plenty of medicine, far more than she could ever finish.

Hearing this, Gao Miling looked at the splendid robe she wore, which had been patched who knew how many times on the inside. Her expression was helpless, frustrated that Di Qingyu would not do better for herself.

"Forget it, forget it. In any case, I'll never have children. Come to think of it, I'm half a mother to you, so I'll consider it keeping you."

With that, she took out a jade pendant she carried with her. "Here. With this pendant, whenever you need money, you can go to the storeroom in my palace and take it. You don't have to pay me back."

"What do you mean, you'll never have children?"

But Di Qingyu had seized on those other words. Her face turned cold. "Was it the empress?"

In her previous life, Di Qingyu had also become Gao Qian's disciple, but she had only met Gao Miling and become close friends with her at fifteen. Gao Miling had helped her several times when she was down and in danger, and Di Qingyu owed her a debt of gratitude. After Di Yunqian passed away, Di Qingyu had elevated her to the position of imperial dowager consort and eliminated the empress. Gao Miling had lived a peaceful, comfortable life in the harem, but she had remained childless all her life, and later died young of illness with a burden weighing on her heart.

Di Qingyu had thought it was because she had never become pregnant, but now it seemed there was more to it.

Gao Miling realized she had let something slip. Seeing Di Qingyu's face darken as though she intended to settle accounts with the empress, she hurried to clarify.

"It wasn't her. She doesn't have that kind of ability." After a pause, she lowered her eyes and sighed. "It was me..."

"Chunzhi, all of you, leave us for now."

"Yes."

Once everyone else had left, Gao Miling's face, though she was only twenty, seemed to bear the marks of many experiences. Looking weary, she pulled her lips into a faint smile.

"I've been in the palace for three years. I went from having hopes for your imperial father to being disappointed, and finally came to terms with it all. I'm favored only because I'm Grand Preceptor Gao's daughter. Your imperial father merely needs someone to keep the empress in check; who I am doesn't matter to him. I don't want a child of mine to live amid scheming and deceit like me. If it were a prince, he'd either fight others to the death or end up cut down along with the roots. If it were a princess, and she were as clever as you, she might be able to find her own way out. But if her fate were cruel, she'd be a pawn in a marriage alliance, just like me..."

At this point, Gao Miling's lips turned bitter. In truth, she had not wanted to enter the palace back then. She too had wanted to find a young man who would have her and her alone, but an imperial edict had come straight down, leaving the Gao Family no chance to refuse. She also understood that the emperor had not taken a fancy to her, but to the Gao Family's position at court. As time passed, falling in and out of favor in the harem had worn away her illusions, and she had gradually, clear-eyed, become a pawn.

"So a year ago, I took a sterility decoction. I'll never have children now, and that also puts your imperial father much more at ease about the Gao Family." Though she was a pawn Di Yunqian used to keep Empress Zhang in check, the Gao Family's influence at court was powerful. Once she had children, would the Gao Family not be the next Zhang Family to be suppressed?

Di Qingyu felt it was unfair to her. "How could you be so foolish? That sterility medicine does terrible harm to the body. Even if you didn't want children, weren't you afraid you'd end up killing yourself?"

Gao Miling smiled faintly, unconcerned. "That's still better than getting pregnant and then losing the child. You know the empress's methods too. If she made a move, I'm afraid both the child and I would die. Don't worry, I only drank the medicine after attending the emperor in bed. It works slowly and does less harm."

Di Qingyu frowned, aching for her but unable to do anything. As long as her imperial father needed her as a pawn, there was no way she could leave the depths of the palace.

"Didn't you want to roam the jianghu? Take good care of yourself and practice some martial arts, in case..." Her eyes flickered, and she leaned closer to Gao Miling, lowering her voice.

"Who knows? A new emperor might ascend the throne one day. When that happens, I'll help you leave the palace."

"?!"

Gao Miling was so frightened by those words that the color drained from her lovely face. She quickly raised a hand to cover Di Qingyu's mouth and turned to look outside the door. Seeing no one there, she breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to glare at her.

"What nonsense are you talking about? Careful, the walls have ears."

Di Qingyu was not afraid. She raised her hand and pulled down the hand covering her mouth, holding it in her own. Her gaze was cool but resolute.

"Trust me. This time, I'll make sure you leave the palace and do what you want to do."

By this time, she meant this life.

Seen in this light, Gao Miling's burdened heart and early death from illness in her previous life were likely due to the despair of being trapped in the palace.

"...All right."

Gao Miling's heart gave a leap. Her eyes prickled and grew hot, and she sniffed before chuckling softly.

"Then may my Qingyu soon accomplish her great undertaking."

She was Grand Preceptor Gao's daughter and had been well-read since childhood. How could ordinary people compare with the breadth of her vision? Whatever Gao Qian had seen in Di Qingyu, had she not also sensed a trace of it?

But even though she had guessed that Di Qingyu would do things that defied the established order, she had never said anything, only helping however much she could. Since ancient times, women had obeyed their fathers before marriage and their husbands afterward, and princesses were no exception. If Di Qingyu could take a different path, that would be good too.