A Boy's Heart Often Dies Slowly
The room was pitch-dark. Only the faint light coming through the window made it possible to make out a few things.
The already spacious living room seemed even quieter and more desolate now.
Mo Yuqing stared fixedly at her phone screen, her face stiff, then narrowed her eyes and turned the brightness down a little.
The faint glow of the phone fell on her exquisitely beautiful face. In the dim living room, it was like a spotlight, laying bare the girl's helplessness and dejection.
After a long series of rings, the call was finally answered.
A cool, serious voice immediately came from the other end.
"Hello."
"Mom, you didn't come back?" Mo Yuqing's voice was a little hurried, and she sounded deeply aggrieved.
"No, something came up that I need to take care of. We'll talk about it later."
When no answer came for a long while, the voice on the other end continued, "Cheer up, sweetheart. Your Uncle Lin is in the country right now, and he said he wanted to take you out for a meal. Ask him to keep you company. He and I have been together for so many years; it's time you accepted him."
"No!! I'll stay by myself! Do whatever you want. It has nothing to do with me." Mo Yuqing fought to keep the sob out of her voice. "Go live your lives with him and your own child. You don't need to worry about me."
"What nonsense are you talking about? You're not a little girl anymore. How can you be so thoughtless? Doesn't Mom love you enough? How many children have it as good as you do? Growing up, what did you ever ask for that I didn't buy you? Be sensible, sweetheart. I'm hanging up. Tell me if you need more money."
Without waiting for Mo Yuqing to say anything else, she hung up.
"..."
Mo Yuqing slowly set her phone on the coffee table and leaned by the enormous floor-to-ceiling window, looking out at the river.
She curled up, hugging her legs, feeling utterly lost.
The buildings in the surrounding residential complexes were all lit up, each light a life of its own.
Only she was all alone, as though the world had abandoned her.
By the time she realized what she was doing, she discovered that she had almost called Chen Lu, as if compelled by some mysterious force.
She hurriedly pulled back the finger that was about to press the button.
She really hadn't expected it to have become a habit.
Over the years, whenever something upsetting like this happened, she would go to Chen Lu...
If not for what had happened back then, all it would take now was one phone call, and Chen Lu would come rushing over to keep her company.
Then, just as before, he would take her out to eat, to watch a movie, or to the park to clear her head...
He would listen with a smile and endless patience as she complained about everything that had upset her.
The girl sniffled and hugged her slender legs tighter and tighter.
He used to be so good to me...
But why can't we even be friends anymore?
When did I start believing that Chen Lu would never leave, no matter what?
Mo Yuqing looked at her reflection in the floor-to-ceiling window, her heart unbearably heavy.
She couldn't figure out the answer to either question.
She had turned down so many people, and she had lost count of how many continued to court her favor afterward. It had annoyed her to no end.
But Chen Lu had simply walked away from her, unwilling even to be friends.
Chen Lu had always been by her side since they were little. Their fathers were close, and she and Chen Lu were childhood sweethearts in the truest sense. He had been good to her since they were young, indulging her in almost everything, so she really couldn't tell when she had become certain that he would never leave her.
At the thought that Chen Lu might still be with that girl now, she could no longer hold back her tears. It was as though someone else had snatched him away.
No, rather than saying he had been snatched away;
It seemed more like she had handed him over herself...
"Mo Yuqing, you really will regret it."
Liu Yan's words echoed in her ears, refusing to fade.
Mo Yuqing's vision suddenly blurred. All the lights before her turned into a field of multicolored stars, and she could only vaguely see her reflection in the window, tears streaming down her face.
She had always thought Chen Lu couldn't do without her, not that she couldn't do without him.
Now she realized she seemed to have been wrong.
Only now did she realize just how good Chen Lu had been to her;
The ridiculous thing was, it was after Chen Lu had turned and walked away.
Mo Yuqing felt she hadn't figured anything out. She had only come to understand one thing;
Although she didn't know what Chen Lu was thinking, this time, he might really never come to apologize to her.
Night fell.
After seeing Liang Zhirou off, Chen Lu returned to the dorm in high spirits and saw Jiang Chao eating while playing a game.
Whenever he got killed and had to watch the little black-and-white screen, he seized the chance to take a few bites, then went back to playing when he respawned.
This seemed to be a skill all guys shared.
"That's right, I just went to see her off." Jiang Chao had barely opened his mouth when Chen Lu beat him to it.
"Her name's Liang Zhirou. Stop calling her the flyer girl every day."
Jiang Chao raised an eyebrow. "Already getting protective? You're moving pretty fast."
"What? We're still just innocent friends right now. It's not what you think-at least, not for the time being." Chen Lu walked slowly onto the dorm balcony, a wistful smile appearing on his face. "But who knows about the future?"
"I'll take it slow. She and I both need time."
"Giving up on your white moonlight?" Jiang Chao joked. "No, wait, I think that's called a vermilion mole."
"I think... she's both."
Mo Yuqing was both the bright moon he loved but could never have and a pain that would never fade.
Chen Lu spoke with a self-mocking air, then turned his head, his expression serious. "I know you're making fun of me, but I'll say it anyway. Yes, I'm giving up."
"Not every one-sided love was destined to bear fruit. There are so many people in love who aren't loved back, so why should I be the one who succeeds?"
"I chased her shamelessly for seven years and got nowhere. That says more than enough. It's time I let go."
Watching Chen Lu, Jiang Chao forgot all about his game.
He was intensely curious how Chen Lu could sound both so resigned and so sad.
Just then, a low rumble of thunder sounded outside, and heavy rain followed.
"Holy crap, what the hell is with this bizarre weather?" Jiang Chao's eyes went wide, his face full of shock.
He still remembered how cold it had been at the beginning of the month. It was bad enough that summer had inexplicably arrived afterward, and now there was a thunderstorm too.
What about spring? Where is spring?
Chen Lu turned and saw the lightning flashing and heard the thunder rumbling outside. He seemed to remember something.
Thunderstorms were the weather Mo Yuqing hated most. She hated thunder, and he vaguely remembered that the weather had been like this when her parents asked her which of them she wanted to live with.
He could still clearly remember braving the heavy rain that night to look for Mo Yuqing after she ran away from home, even though he had been a child himself.
For some reason, the two of them had taken a long walk in the rain, and the next day they had both run a fever all day.
Back then, Chen Lu had naively thought that things would always stay good between him and Mo Yuqing. He hadn't expected her to change later.
Soon, he shook his head with a bitter smile and sat down beside Jiang Chao.
What does any of that have to do with me now...?
A few days ago, Chen Lu had still been surprised by his own coldheartedness. He had liked Mo Yuqing for so long, after all, so how had he remained unmoved by her tears in the cafeteria?
But he soon understood. He hadn't become this way in an instant; by the time he noticed, his heart had long since turned to dead ashes.
As his feelings were neglected and hurt again and again, his heart had, over the years, been sliced away piece by piece, as though subjected to death by a thousand cuts;
His heart had died slowly.