Examining Himself

In the living room, all that remained was the faint tick-tock of the second hand on the wall clock and the sound of their mingled breaths.

There was a hint of anticipation in Aemeath's voice as she said, "Shouldn't you show me some appreciation?"

She remained curled up on the sofa, pressed close against Lu Yan. Her golden, starry eyes stared straight at his lips, the desire in them so intense it could almost set the air alight.

Looking at how alluring Aemeath was from so close, Lu Yan couldn't help his throat bobbing slightly.

The pain in his stomach had completely subsided, replaced by a steadily quickening heartbeat.

He deliberately pretended not to understand, a gentle smile on his lips as he rested his hand lightly over hers, which was still rubbing his stomach.

"Oh? What reward would you like, Aemeath?" Lu Yan's voice held a seductive note he didn't even notice himself. "Do you want me to watch a movie with you this afternoon?"

Aemeath stopped what she was doing and turned her hand over to grasp Lu Yan's.

Two alluring flushes instantly appeared on her fair cheeks, spreading all the way to her earlobes.

"I don't want to watch a movie." Aemeath began to avert her eyes, her long lashes fluttering as her voice grew quieter. "What I want... is that..."

The smile in Lu Yan's eyes deepened. He deliberately leaned a little closer, his warm breath almost brushing the tip of her nose. "What's 'that'? If you don't say it clearly, an idiot like me won't be able to guess."

With Lu Yan looking at her from so close and his distinctive scent filling her nose, the last of Aemeath's reason completely crumbled.

Her years of longing for Lu Yan had left her unable to bear this push and pull any longer.

"What the heck!" Aemeath abruptly raised her head and grabbed Lu Yan's collar with both hands. Closing her eyes and throwing caution to the wind, she shouted, "I want a kiss!"

She shouted those words very loudly, with a touch of embarrassed indignation.

After shouting, Aemeath kept her eyes tightly shut, her eyelashes trembling violently. Her beautiful face was so red it looked ready to bleed, and her slightly pursed pink lips were like a plump, juicy peach, soft and dewy, irresistibly lovely.

Looking at the face so close to his and hearing her direct, passionate request, Lu Yan felt as though an invisible hand had gripped his heart tightly, then abruptly let go.

How badly did he want to kiss those soft, dewy lips? How badly did he want to stay with the girl before him forever, never to part again?

Of course, he wanted it so badly he was almost going mad.

But just as their lips were about to touch, Lu Yan forcibly stopped himself.

The sunlight was still warm, but the smile in Lu Yan's eyes gradually faded, replaced by inner turmoil.

Countless images suddenly flashed through his mind: the lonely little girl on the ice plain, the girl who had lost her body yet still wanted to save the world, and the Rover who went around saving the world.

And this ordinary artist, who had once been able to do nothing but sit in his rented room and now couldn't even eat a meal without his stomach hurting.

Lu Yan slowly released Aemeath's hand and drew back the arm he had wrapped around her waist a little.

He leaned back, deliberately putting some distance between them and dispelling the intimacy.

Aemeath, waiting with her eyes closed for a kiss, still hadn't felt the warmth she expected.

She noticed Lu Yan pulling back, as well as the air gradually cooling around them.

Aemeath opened her eyes in some astonishment, her gaze full of confusion and panic. "A-Yan...? Did I make you angry? Or... do you not want to kiss me?"

"No, Aemeath, how could I not want to?" Lu Yan smiled bitterly. His gaze traced her features, his eyes filled with an intense, unshakable love, yet mixed with a trace of deep self-doubt.

He took a deep breath, as though making an enormous decision, and finally laid before her the secret that had weighed on his heart like a nightmare, tormenting him for days and nights.

"Actually, there's something I've always worried about. You could even call it a fear."

Lu Yan's voice grew somewhat hoarse. He didn't dare look into Aemeath's eyes, instead lowering his head slightly to look at his hands, which had held a paintbrush for years.

"Aemeath, I'm not that person. I might not be the person you remember."

As soon as he said those words, it was as though someone had instantly pressed pause on the entire living room.

Lu Yan didn't stop, as if he meant to tear the wound completely open. "You've seen it these past few days. I don't have any special abilities. When danger comes, I can't stand in front of you like the Rover."

"I'm just an ordinary person."

"The Rover has a mission to fulfill. It saved you from the bottom of the lake,"

Lu Yan's shoulders trembled slightly, and his voice held a heartbreaking humility. "But what about me? My stomach hurts because I ate fish soup that was too salty."

"Saving the world and all that is too far beyond me. I just want to protect the people I love and the people important to me. That's enough."

Lu Yan looked up, his eyes already a little red. As someone who felt profoundly insecure, he instinctively felt unworthy in the face of this weighty love that had fallen from the sky.

"As an ordinary person, I've been afraid all along. Every day when I open my eyes and see you beside me, I feel like this is a dream I could wake up from at any moment."

"I'm worried that my mortal body simply can't bear this... perfect and heavy love of yours that crossed worlds."

"Even though you've always said you came following the 'frequency,' what if one day you discover that I really am just an ordinary person? Will the admiration and reliance you once felt for 'that person' turn into disappointment because of how ordinary I am?"

Lu Yan's voice gradually sank almost to a whisper. "I'm afraid you see me as a substitute, but I'm even more afraid..."

"That once you see how ordinary I am, you'll leave me..."

Lu Yan spoke those words with extreme difficulty.

Every word felt like a slow cut into his own heart.

With his own hands, he had laid the most vulnerable part of himself bare before the girl he cherished most.

The room fell quiet, deathly silent.