An Unfilial Son

Lin Xu pushed open the weathered door and looked into the cramped storage room.

Odds and ends were neatly stacked beneath the snow-white light of an LED lamp.

As he had expected, across from the door, he saw his mother light a stick of sandalwood incense and place it in the burner before his father's black-and-white portrait.

"Mom, you wanted to see me?" He looked at his mother's thin back.

"Come and offer your father some incense." His mother, Liu Zhi, stood sideways before the altar table, her low voice tinged with a sob.

Lin Xu silently stepped forward and accepted the three lit incense sticks. He knelt on the cushion before the altar table and bowed his head three times.

He placed the burning incense in the ash-filled burner but did not get up. Instead, he looked up at his father's portrait.

It had been a night ten years ago. He still remembered his father's departing figure as he hurried away: "A-Xu, stay home. Don't come out."

His father never came back.

Overnight, Mother Lin's hair turned white as though touched by frost. The pain and fear of losing his father drowned the young Lin Xu like a rising tide, breaking the mystery of the womb.

As it turned out, this was already his second life...

"You know what I want to talk about..." His mother turned around, faint tear tracks still visible beneath her reddened eyes. "A-Xu, why won't you work for the Jiang Clan? Is it because of Jiang Wanru?"

"It has nothing to do with her." Lin Xu's tone remained calm. "I have neither money nor power right now. Romance is too much of a luxury."

"Then why won't you go? The Jiang Clan's offer is excellent: a salary of fifty thousand a month, plus a share of the profits at the end of the year." A trace of anxiety entered his mother's voice.

"I'm going to take part in the Spirit Realm Trial." His voice was calm, but it held an unyielding resolve.

"You're not allowed to go!" his mother shouted angrily, veins throbbing on the backs of her clenched hands. "Unless I'm dead, you can forget about it!"

Lin Xu did not respond. He silently gazed at his father's black-and-white photograph.

In the quiet room, only his mother's rapid breathing could be heard.

"Why? Why must you take part in the trial?" She forced her emotions down, anxiety and fear slipping into her voice despite herself:

"In every Spirit Realm Trial, no more than thirty percent have come back alive. You're going to your death!"

Lin Xu did not answer immediately. His past and present lives rose before his eyes.

In life, what mattered was to "strive."

You had to strive for first place in your studies, strive to excel at work, and strive for a partner in love. Only by striving could you have a good life.

When he was young, he had not understood that. Whatever he did, he always stepped back.

Take one step back and the sea is wide and the sky boundless: he muddled through a third-rate school, only to graduate into unemployment. Take another step back and fate is fraught with hardship: he watched helplessly as the one he loved drifted farther and farther away, and life lost its promise, becoming dreary and dull. Take yet another step back and the mountains and rivers come to an end: the sight of his gray-haired parents standing in the cold wind, forcing smiles, pierced his heart.

He retreated again and again, until he could retreat no farther, until there was nowhere left to go. In the end, he could not protect his family and had squandered half his life. Yet even after all that retreating, didn't he still have to fight and strive? Without effort, he couldn't even put food in his mouth!

But if he had known it would come to this, why had he acted that way in the first place?

"How many times did I wake from a dream, regretting my youthful ignorance and my lost youth? How many times did I long to go back and fight while I was still young, hating only that life offered no second chances..."

A trace of melancholy beyond his years entered Lin Xu's eyes. "I thought transmigration was only a fantasy, and that I'd spend this life struggling in the muddy pit at the bottom of society. I never imagined that when I opened my eyes again, I'd actually transmigrated..."

Thank goodness I got to live another life. This time, I'm fucking done retreating!

"What did you say?" His mother stared at him. He had spoken too quietly for her to hear.

"In the ten years since Father left, I've gotten up at five thirty every morning and come home at ten every night. I've reviewed my lessons, done calisthenics, and meditated until it was time for school or bed.

"On weekends and holidays, while the other kids played, I stayed home reviewing my lessons, doing calisthenics, and meditating, day after day, year after year..."

Lin Xu asked calmly, "Did I work this hard just to be someone else's ox and horse?"

There was only one chance to take the Spirit Realm Trial. If he missed it, he could only enter the Spirit Realm to cultivate through someone else—and that meant signing himself away to be their ox and horse for life.

"My fate can only be in my own hands!" In the calmest tone, he spoke the most resolute words.

But Mother Lin was sobbing too hard to speak. "A-Xu, I know you were affected by what happened to your dad. He loved playing the hero, and in the end he was gone, and everything was gone...

"You're all I have left now. I don't want you risking your life. That classmate of yours thinks highly of you. You wouldn't be free, but at least you'd have a stable life..."

"Jiang Wanqing thinks highly of me because I'm worth it. The resources she used to win me over were all offered with the Jiang Clan's approval. Would the Jiang Clan be willing to pay so much just to let me live a stable life?"

Lin Xu analyzed it calmly. "It's been a hundred years since the Spirit Realm began invading. Where in this world is there any pure land left? In the end, wouldn't I still have to go to the Spirit Realm and risk my life?

"Meng City has suffered more and more invasions these past few years. I don't know what this world will become, but I'll never leave my fate in heaven's hands again!"

If I have to risk my life sooner or later, why should I sell myself cheap?

The almost coldhearted reason on Lin Xu's face left Mother Lin staring.

"These past few years, I've drawn talismans in my spare time and made some money selling them. About five hundred thousand-enough for everyday food, clothing, and expenses." Lin Xu pulled out a bank card and looked solemnly at his mother.

"Mom, I know how much you've suffered. I've seen all the hard work you've put in over the years..."

Mother Lin merely covered her mouth and sobbed softly, refusing to take the card.

"But I don't want to retreat! It's been ten years, and I haven't slacked off for a single day. What was it all for? The Spirit Realm Trial! I'm going to take my chance. Even if I lose and die, I won't leave this life with any regrets!"

He thrust the bank card into his mother's pocket, then, kneeling on the cushion, brought his head down hard against the concrete floor.

"I'm an unfilial son. I can't stay by your side anymore, Mother."

"Thud!"

The sound jolted Mother Lin awake.

"Stop bowing, stop..." Mother Lin pulled Lin Xu up and tenderly wiped the bright red blood from his forehead, tears falling like beads from a broken string.

Lin Xu's gaze remained resolute, his expression firm.

In his previous life, he had retreated, and social welfare had allowed him to scrape by.

But if he retreated in this life, when the sky fell, his whole family might not even be able to keep their lives. How could he dare retreat?

Take one step forward, and the sea is wide and the sky boundless. Take one step back, and the mountains and rivers come to an end!

The morning sun shone through the glass, spilling onto the space by the window and lighting Lin Xu's handsome face.

Perhaps it was a gift of transmigration. His face in his previous life had been perfectly ordinary, but in this life he was rather handsome.

He finished his usual calisthenics and meditation at seven in the morning.

"A-Xu, time to eat," Mother Lin called from outside his room.

"Coming," he answered as usual.

He opened the door to find that Mother Lin had already set the meal on the old wooden table.

Lin Xu glanced over it. Besides fried eggs and stir-fried greens, there was a plate of braised beef, a dish he liked.

He glanced at Mother Lin and saw that her eyes were red and swollen. Clearly, she had cried again last night.

After silently finishing his meal as usual, he picked up his schoolbag. "Mom, I'm off to school."

Mother Lin had no appetite. She stopped after a couple of bites and merely stared at him blankly.

Hearing him, she said instinctively, "Wait."

Meeting Lin Xu's surprised gaze, she picked up a book and handed it to him. "Your father left this behind. You might be able to use it..."

He took the book with a frown, then started. "A skill book?!"

Skill books were a product of the Spirit Realm. They appeared in certain special locations and had an extremely small chance of dropping when Spirit Realm monsters were killed.

Ordinary people who had not passed the trial could only study a book from scratch, and whether they learned the skill depended entirely on their talent.

Adventurers who had passed the Spirit Realm Trial, however, could consume a skill book to gain a basic grasp of the skill directly. The two methods' learning efficiency could not be mentioned in the same breath.

"Your dad brought this back from the Spirit Realm. He said he wanted to save it for you..." Mother Lin sighed. "I always wanted to keep you away from the Spirit Realm, to let you live a peaceful, stable life. I can't talk you out of it, so take this book. It might give you a better chance..."

At that point, her voice choked, and she could barely go on.

"Mom, I'll come back. I promise." Lin Xu picked up the book and made his solemn promise.