Getting the Weirds to Drink More Hot Water
As Xu Chunliang passed the pair,
the rollback point on his attribute panel instantly updated.
Current rollback point: chance encounter with two weirds.
Two weirds? Xu Chunliang decided to take a look.
He quietly followed the two of them to an inn.
The scholar casually tossed out a handful of silver fragments, then followed an inn attendant into a private courtyard.
Xu Chunliang quietly followed him,
climbing over the courtyard wall and crouching low beneath the window.
Xu Chunliang calmed himself, wet a finger with saliva, and poked a small hole in the window.
Just as he put his eye to it,
someone tapped him on the shoulder.
Xu Chunliang's scalp prickled, and a fine layer of cold sweat broke out on his back.
He turned to find a deathly pale face pressed just five centimeters from his own. It was the scholar.
"Would you believe me if I said I had the wrong door?" Xu Chunliang asked shamelessly.
"An appetizer," the scholar murmured, sinking his teeth into Xu Chunliang's neck.
Cold!
Dizziness!
Then darkness.
Xu Chunliang was dead.
The scholar dropped Xu Chunliang's corpse, smiled silently, and muttered, "Now it's that lady's turn."
He walked into the room.
Xu Chunliang opened his eyes and slowed his pace. He bought two candied hawthorn skewers from an old man selling them by the roadside under cover of night, then strolled toward the inn as he ate.
Figuring the two of them should be about ready for bed,
he climbed into the little courtyard.
The night in the little courtyard was so very quiet.
Xu Chunliang moved cautiously, doing his best not to make a sound.
Finally, as he approached the window-
Crack!
A faint vibration came from beneath his foot. He had snapped a dead twig lying on the ground in front of the window, whether placed there deliberately or by accident.
Whoosh~
A cold wind blew past. Without hesitation, Xu Chunliang drew his saber and slashed behind him.
The scholar, who had been behind him, instantly retreated like a willow branch in the wind, then lunged forward again.
Pfft!
He bit Xu Chunliang's neck.
Death for the second time!
Xu Chunliang returned to the old man selling candied hawthorns.
Under the old man's puzzled gaze, he paid for the little pot the man used to boil sugar.
Then he waited, entered the little courtyard, and returned to the window.
After tying the little sugar pot around his neck,
Xu Chunliang stepped on the dead twig while sweeping his saber backward with his right hand.
Whoosh~
The scholar darted back, then closed in again in an instant,
opening his mouth wide and biting down on Xu Chunliang's neck.
Clang!
Metal rang out, and the scholar clutched his mouth as he retreated.
He stared at Xu Chunliang in disbelief.
Xu Chunliang chuckled and offered no explanation, charging at the scholar with his saber.
Pfft!
Pain shot through Xu Chunliang's chest. The scholar's arm had stretched out like rubber in an instant and pierced his chest.
Xu Chunliang died again.
Standing in Fireworks Lane, Xu Chunliang cursed inwardly:
Fuck!
Then he headed for the candied hawthorn stall again.
Xu Chunliang gave the old man all his money and acquired everything the man owned.
Dressed in a set of ragged clothes, with the pole bristling with candied hawthorns on his shoulder,
Xu Chunliang called out his wares as he returned to the front of the inn.
Ignoring the inn attendant's displeased gaze, he leaned against the front of the inn and patiently began to doze.
He hadn't seen the female weird any of the three times he'd gone in, so Xu Chunliang felt there had to be something he didn't know.
So he decided to wait.
In the little courtyard,
the scholar weird invited the brothel woman weird to sit at the table,
then lit a lamp.
Sitting across from her, he began to sing.
The brothel woman weird sang along with him, a lovely tune issuing from her mouth.
As they sang, the two weirds rose to their feet
and embraced.
Holding each other, they danced in abandon.
The longer they danced, the fewer clothes they wore.
Just as passion overtook them both,
four inch-long fangs emerged from each of their mouths at the same time.
"Fuck!"
"Shit!"
Two muffled grunts rang out,
and both clutched their own necks.
"Did the flood wash away the Dragon King's temple?"
"You're a weird too?"
Blue blood flowed from both their necks.
The scholar wiped his neck with his hand, temporarily stopping the blood flowing from the holes, and said with a carefree smile,
"I never expected the prey I had in mind to be one of my own kind. Miss, why don't we shake hands and make peace?"
The female weird likewise clutched her neck and nodded. "It seems this really is fate."
"Then let's shake hands and make peace."
The two stepped forward, then struck with their claws at the same time again!
"Pfft!"
"Pfft!"
In a single exchange, both weirds were grievously wounded.
"Huff~"
"Huff~"
"Huff~"
The sounds of heavy breathing rose and fell in the dark room.
Clearly, both weirds were badly hurt.
"If this goes on, it won't do either of us any good!"
"I agree!"
"Why don't we join forces and go find a couple of victims to eat?"
With both of them equally injured, the scholar weird once again proposed making peace, and the brothel weird agreed.
So the two of them once more extended their little hands in friendship,
and went straight for each other's hearts and lungs.
Pfft!
Pfft!
The scholar's hand plunged into the brothel woman's stomach,
while the brothel woman's hand reached into the scholar's chest.
They were even once more.
Then both of them pulled out their hands without hesitation and retreated into the darkness.
Outside the window, Xu Chunliang watched it all in secret, utterly stunned!
He couldn't help sucking in a breath of cold air.
He couldn't help murmuring inwardly:
Good thing I have unlimited rollbacks, or I really wouldn't survive a single episode.
Wait, didn't I die as soon as I showed up? I didn't even get the chance to leave my name.
Remembering that deadly cup of tea, he sighed inwardly.
He secretly counted himself lucky.
While he was reflecting, the pair inside the room seized their chances to strike four more times.
They left several holes straight through each other and themselves.
Xu Chunliang quietly slipped out of the courtyard, deciding to outwit them.
Five minutes later, Xu Chunliang, dressed as an inn attendant, arrived outside the courtyard carrying a kettle of boiling water.
Looking at the tightly shut courtyard gate, he called out loudly:
"Sir, sir, I've brought you some hot water. Would you still like it?"
"Come, come in~"
"I was just thinking of washing up..."
The scholar's feeble voice came from the room.
Carrying the kettle, Xu Chunliang strode into the courtyard.
He deliberately stepped on the dead twigs, making them crackle underfoot as he reached the door.
He reached out and knocked.
"Come in. The door isn't locked."
The feeble voice rang out. Xu Chunliang, dressed as an inn attendant, looked this way and that, finally spotting the pale-faced scholar.
"Sir, what's wrong? Are you ill?"
"Drink more hot water!"
He ran toward the scholar with the iron kettle full of boiling water.
"Young man, drinking hot water won't help. Help me, help me get my bundle. There's medicine in it."
The scholar pointed to the shabby bundle beside him as he spoke, silently calculating the distance between himself and Xu Chunliang.
"All right, sir. I'll get it for you right away."
Xu Chunliang took three or four bottles and jars out of the bundle.
"Which one is it, sir?"