Yu Xiaogang: My Ten-Year Solitary Bamboo

"I was wrong! My crimes deserve ten thousand deaths! I'm not fit to be a god, and I don't want a godhood either!"

"Let me go... I beg you two great gods to treat this lowly one like a fart and let me back to Douluo Continent! I'll go back to Nuoding Academy and keep eating for free. I'll never set foot in the Divine Realm again for the rest of my life-!!"

The two gods exchanged a glance. Beating Gangzi had felt good, and most of their anger had dissipated.

The Asura God withdrew his bloodstained hand and let out a long breath.

"Stop. If we keep beating him, he'll die sooner or later."

The Sea God also drew a heavy breath and shook his aching wrist.

It wasn't that the two gods felt sorry for Yu Xiaogang. The Divine Realm had strict rules, and if word that they had privately tortured a lower-realm being to death reached the other three Gods of Law Enforcement on the committee, it would mean another round of trouble.

The Asura God held two fingers together like a sword. A ray of divine light brimming with vitality shot from his fingertips and vanished into Yu Xiaogang's forehead.

Divine power circulated through his meridians.

His broken bones cracked softly as they rapidly slid back into place and healed, and his weakened body became as good as new.

Yu Xiaogang sucked in a sharp breath, like a drowning man just pulled from the water. He lay on the ground, retching violently.

"Yu Xiaogang, raise your head."

The Asura God looked down at him from above, his voice cold:

"I am giving you a solemn warning. After you return to the lower realm, if you dare force Tang San to absorb so much as half another Soul Ring like the Ten-Year Solitary Bamboo..."

The blood-red light in the Asura God's eyes suddenly surged, and his almost tangible killing aura made Gangzi tremble violently:

"I will make you beg for life and pray for death in vain!"

The terrifying divine might made Yu Xiaogang's skin sting, and even his soul ached.

His three souls nearly fled his body in terror. How could he dare hope for any luck?

"I wouldn't dare! I swear to heaven, I'll never dare lay another finger on Tang San!!"

Yu Xiaogang braced his hands on the ground and slammed his head down again and again. Only when his forehead bled were the two gods willing to let the matter rest.

"Enough."

The Asura God waved his sleeve in disgust and pronounced his judgment in a stern voice:

"After a comprehensive evaluation by the God Realm Committee, your character is narrow-minded, your aptitude is poor, and your practical combat skills are a complete mess. You failed every part of the assessment."

"You are unqualified to be entered into the Divine Realm's register, much less lay claim to an orthodox godhood. You are to be sent back to the lower realm at once. Go and take time to temper yourself!"

Hearing that he was being sent back to the lower realm, Yu Xiaogang felt no disappointment whatsoever. Instead, it was as if he had been granted a pardon.

It's finally over!

"Thank you for your mercy, Your Majesty the God King! I'll get out of here right now, I'll go straight back!"

Yu Xiaogang crawled on his hands and knees toward the white cloud vortex at the Divine Realm's gate.

"Stop."

"There's one more thing."

The Sea God stepped forward, his azure eyes deep as an abyss, his gaze fixed on Yu Xiaogang.

Yu Xiaogang stiffened and mechanically turned his head. In a trembling voice, he said, "Lord... Lord Sea God, what else do you command?"

The Sea God shook his head and pointed at his chest.

"You may leave, but the filthy, foul thing inside you that doesn't belong to you must stay."

"I thought something was strange earlier. Even if a mortal from the lower realm had a heaven-defying opportunity, they could never gain a fully equipped hundredth-level Martial Soul out of nowhere in such a short time."

Before he had finished speaking, the Sea God reached out and grasped at the air with his right hand!

"Hummm-!"

A gigantic azure hand, formed from the divine power of the vast ocean, materialized in the air and seized Yu Xiaogang precisely by the crown of his head!

"Aaaagh-!!"

His gut-wrenching scream instantly rang through the entire Divine Realm!

Yu Xiaogang felt as though his soul had been thrown alive into a meat grinder, while a tyrannical force gripped his internal organs and dragged them outward!

"Riiip!"

With a sharp sound like raw flesh being torn apart, the Sea God forcibly uprooted a verdant Lone Bamboo phantom, surrounded by a deathly pale halo, from the depths of Yu Xiaogang's very soul!

The six Ten-Year Solitary Bamboo Soul Bones attached to the bones throughout his body were also violently stripped away like gangrene clinging to bone!

"Crack! Crack!"

The surging hundredth-level Soul Power that had filled his limbs and bones poured out and dissipated like a flood bursting through a dam.

Level eighty! Level fifty! Level thirty!

In the space of two or three blinks, that vast, insubstantial Soul Power vanished completely. Its fluctuations plunged all the way back to his former level twenty-nine!

How devastating was the backlash from stripping away a Martial Soul and Soul Bones?

Every capillary in Yu Xiaogang's body burst, turning him into a figure drenched in blood. He slumped on the ground without even the strength to scream, his throat producing only faint, dying gasps.

Seeing this, the Asura God snorted coldly and flicked out another ray of divine light to protect his heart, keeping him barely alive.

"My Sea God, what else have you noticed?" The Asura God turned toward the ball of Lone Bamboo light in the Sea God's hand.

The Sea God held the Martial Soul in his palm, turning his divine power into a fine mesh that scanned it inch by inch.

"On the surface, this thing appears to have the same origin as a God-Bestowed Martial Soul from the lower realm, but there's something very strange inside."

The Sea God held two fingers together and brushed them gently over the top of the bamboo stalk.

A faint golden light peeled away from a green bamboo joint and floated in the air, forming a line of extremely tiny, strange golden micro-engraved characters that shimmered with an odd mechanical quality.

The Asura God leaned closer and studied them. The line was neat and precise, and it read:

[Produced by Genuine Fruit · Ten-Year Solitary Bamboo (Collector's Edition) · Anti-counterfeiting code 9527]

The two God Kings, who had governed the Divine Realm for countless years, stared at the absurd words for a full five seconds.

"Genuine Fruit?"

"Is that some god's full name?"

The Asura God's brows knotted tightly, and a look of disbelief flashed in his eyes:

"When has our Divine Realm ever had a divine lineage named 'Fruit'? And what kind of sinister contractual mark is this anti-counterfeiting sign?!"

The Sea God closed his fingers, and the Lone Bamboo Martial Soul, along with the golden words, was instantly crushed to nothing in his palm by the divine power of the vast ocean.

The Sea God turned and pointed at the half-dead Yu Xiaogang on the ground, demanding sharply:

"Yu Xiaogang! You have the guts of a dog!"

"You took this shoddy counterfeit belonging to some false god from beyond our realm, violated the laws of the lower realm, and tried to sneak into the Divine Realm through deception. Do you take the entire God Realm Committee for a bunch of blind fools?!"

Hearing this, Yu Xiaogang felt as though he had plunged into an icy cavern as he lay in the pool of blood.

Shoddy counterfeit?

Genuine Fruit?

That had been given to him by the mysterious Douluo who could casually bestow heaven-reaching fortune without even revealing his Martial Soul!

How had it become a counterfeit used for a shameful sneak into the Divine Realm in the mouths of these Divine Realm powers?!

What terrified him even more was that the hundredth-level divine realm he had struggled so hard to reach had utterly vanished at that moment!

He had become that waste who couldn't even cross level thirty again!

"Give it back... I beg the two God Kings to give me back my Lone Bamboo!!"

"I truly didn't know! It was an opportunity given to me by a peerless senior in the lower realm who greatly admired my talent!"

"I don't want to be a waste anymore! Without my Second Martial Soul, my whole life is ruined! I beg you, God Kings, take pity on me and give it back!!"

Listening to Yu Xiaogang's undignified cries, the Asura God's lips curled with deep scorn, and he couldn't help spitting fiercely:

"Talent? What fucking talent do you have?!"

"Do you really think you're stuck at level twenty-nine because heaven was unfair to you?!"

The Asura God pointed at Luo Sanpao, who was still eating grass over there, and cursed furiously:

"The purest bloodline of the Blue Lightning Tyrant Dragon Clan already flows in your veins. You were originally destined to awaken the Golden Sacred Dragon, an ancient, top-tier Beast Martial Soul!"

"If you weren't cowardly and selfish by nature, with a flawed Dao heart, and if you didn't crave glory, rush for quick results, and refuse to dig deeper, how could your bloodline have suffered such a malignant degeneration?!"

The Sea God looked equally speechless. He shook his head and chimed in:

"Exactly. A seed of the magnificent Golden Sacred Dragon was raised into a stupid purple pig that only knows how to eat radishes and fart, all because of the muddled thoughts and twisted theories filling his belly!"

"The title Spring Bamboo Douluo suits you quite well. I wonder if you were aware of your own shortcomings."

"You ruined a god-tier seedling through your own training, yet you blamed heaven and everyone else, and even treated a piece of counterfeit rotten bamboo like a supreme treasure. Pathetic! Ridiculous!"

Each of those words struck his already fragile dignity like a heavy hammer.

He froze on the spot, his mind blank. The words "Golden Sacred Dragon" echoed endlessly in his ears, and he fell completely into obsession and madness.

At that moment, the two God Kings exchanged a glance. The mockery in their eyes gradually faded, replaced by deep gravity.

"Produced by Fruit... This is definitely not a method that could have originated on Douluo Continent."

The Sea God transmitted his voice gravely:

"Either evil outsiders from beyond our realm have stretched their tentacles into the mortal world, or someone within the Divine Realm has secretly planted a pawn in the lower realm behind the committee's back to hinder our selection of inheritors."

A chilling killing intent flashed in the Asura God's eyes, and he nodded coldly:

"This is a matter of great importance. We must investigate it thoroughly. I want to see who's playing gods and ghosts behind the scenes!"

With that, the Asura God lowered his head and cast a disgusted glance at Yu Xiaogang on the ground.

"As for this fool who can accomplish nothing but ruin everything, keeping him here would only defile the Divine Realm."

"But before sending him away, we can't break the rules."

The Asura God gave a sinister grin, rolled up his long sleeves, and conducted another human pressure-resistance test.

"Bang! Smack! Thud! Clang!"

Before Yu Xiaogang could even get out a proper scream for mercy, his face had been beaten completely out of shape. He spat teeth mixed with bloody froth all over the floor, and his mind sank into a semiconscious state.

Only after beating him for another full incense stick's worth of time did the Asura God let out a long breath and pick Yu Xiaogang up by his half-broken arm.

The Sea God stood to the side and delivered one final cold rebuke:

"Remember this! Once you're back in the mortal world, keep your tail between your legs and behave yourself!"

"If you dare use such an evil art from beyond our realm to force your way to level one hundred again, what descends upon the mortal world then will no longer be the welcoming rosy light, but my Asura Blood Sword, which will cast your entire clan into a land of eternal damnation!"

As his voice fell, the Asura God tore open the void with one hand, forcibly ripping a pitch-black spatial passage to the lower realm.

He raised a foot and kicked Yu Xiaogang hard in the lower back!

"Get down there!"

"Whoosh-"

Yu Xiaogang's shriveled, battered body turned into a shooting star, spinning into the endless turbulent currents of the void before being swallowed by the mortal world's atmosphere in an instant.

"Oh, right. How could I forget you?" The Sea God teleported behind Luo Sanpao.

Luo Sanpao was still eating the Divine Realm's flowers and grass, showing no intention of stopping the entire time, as though he could never get full.

"You get back there too!" The Sea God kicked Luo Sanpao into the passage.

"Gugugu!" Luo Sanpao chewed two final mouthfuls of grass, crying out mournfully.

Nuoding Junior Soul Master Academy.

Inside the Grandmaster's office.

"Crash-!!"

An extremely narrow black crack suddenly opened in the void.

Immediately afterward, Yu Xiaogang plunged straight down from three meters in the air!

"Boom!"

The entire desk shattered on impact. Scrolls and ink tumbled to the floor, and black ink smeared the figure's head and face.

Yu Xiaogang lay in the pile of splintered wood, trembling violently and letting out a faint groan.

He laboriously raised the back of his swollen hand and wiped the black ink from his eyes, looking at the familiar mottled bookshelves and the clutter strewn across the floor.

I'm back.

I'm really back!

He really had been thrown back to Nuoding City like garbage.

Every bone in his body hurt. The Soul Power inside him had stagnated lifelessly at level twenty-nine, and he could no longer sense even a trace of his beloved Lone Bamboo Martial Soul.

It was all like a dream.

"Becoming a god... the Divine Realm..."

Yu Xiaogang's lips trembled as two murky streams of tears mixed with ink and blood ran down his cheeks.

He lay sprawled among the broken wood like a madman, staring fixedly at the ceiling, utterly consumed by endless terror and mental collapse.

"Back... I'm back?"

Yu Xiaogang first froze for a full three seconds. Then, like a madman, he dug all ten fingers into the floor.

The wild joy of surviving a calamity shot straight to the crown of his head.

Yu Xiaogang scrambled and rolled his way to the old wooden window, flung it open, and gripped the windowsill with both hands.

Facing the rising morning sun, he stretched out his neck and unleashed a hysterical roar in his cracked voice toward the academy playground below:

"I, Yu Xiaogang, am back!!"

"Do you hear me?! I'm never going to the Divine Realm again!!"

"To hell with becoming a god! To hell with godhood! I'd rather die than ascend in this lifetime!!"

His piercing howl echoed through the campus in the early morning.

A few students and staff walking sparsely across the playground stopped and raised their heads in unison, watching the commotion.

No one cheered, much less came forward to pay their respects.

In the eyes of the vast majority at Nuoding Academy, this Grandmaster had been presumed dead ever since he disappeared half a month ago.

After those shouts, Yu Xiaogang's chest convulsed violently.

His emotions had become too agitated.

His eyes rolled back, and his body slid limply down the window frame. He fell heavily onto the floor with a thud and passed out completely.

"Have you heard? That freeloading Grandmaster on the third floor has come back from the dead!"

"Really? Didn't they say he eloped with a Mandala Snake in the Soul Hunting Forest?"

"Hey, I heard someone (Cai Kun) say he was going to destroy Spirit Hall at any cost. He came back so soon?"

All sorts of rumors about Yu Xiaogang rose and fell in succession.

In any case, no one guessed that he had become a god.

"Quick, go take a look! He was just wailing like a ghost at the window. He hasn't been possessed, has he?"

In less than the time it took an incense stick to burn, the third-floor corridor was packed with students eager to watch the spectacle, their whispers rising in a chorus.

Behind the crowd, three figures hurried up the stairs, squeezing their way through.

Cai Kun led the way, with a cold-faced Tang San beside him and Xiao Wu holding a carrot in her mouth.

A full fifteen days had passed since the battle in the Soul Hunting Forest.

During that half month, undercurrents surged and heaven and earth were turned upside down, both within and beyond Nuoding City.